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Cheating...
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? |
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
You absolutely did the correct thing.
He chose to cheat not you. Don’t let his guilt of getting caught play on your mind you did nothing wrong.
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By *orny-DJMan 38 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
"No
I think you got unnecessarily over-involved "
To be fair, it was the chaps partner who contacted her.
I'd agree with you if the OP had been the one instigating communications with the chaps other half, but it wasn't |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I'd probably have blocked and deleted him personally and not give my private number out so quickly if you only started chatting last night.
You need to stay safe in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 38 weeks ago
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"I'd probably have blocked and deleted him personally and not give my private number out so quickly if you only started chatting last night.
You need to stay safe in the long run. "
We've actually been talking here for about 3 weeks. Last night was just when we decide to go off site |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I'd probably have blocked and deleted him personally and not give my private number out so quickly if you only started chatting last night.
You need to stay safe in the long run.
We've actually been talking here for about 3 weeks. Last night was just when we decide to go off site"
Stay safe and never blame yourself, as it proves the guys a dickhead.  |
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You did the tight thing op, sorry you were caught in the middle.
I've posted this before about why I wouldn't knowingly meet someone who is cheating:-
Years ago I met a bloke, told me he was single no kids, it wasn't from here.
Anyway I was seeing him a few months, one day whilst at work I checked my phone and had loads of missed calls.
I rang the number back and it was his Mrs, she'd found a text from me on his phone. He too had cheated before, so she was suspicious already. It took me ages to convince her I hadn't known he was living with someone and had 2 kids.
She was so upset, but I told her everything and she thanked me for being upfront.
If people are gonna cheat, they need to be honest and let potential meets know so they can choose to meet them with all the facts. Hiding it and dragging others into your web of deceit just sucks. |
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Don't feel like shit. He lied to her, then lied to you. He doesn't deserve you guilt or your trust. You've done nothing to feel shameful for
Poor lady, I hope she finally has the courage to leave him. |
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
Yes, and move on - plenty more fellas out there  |
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By *oxy jWoman 38 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
just take this weekend alone and see how many men disappear when the kids break up will tell you just how many are married ... and if your a swinger and you meet guys then 100% your meeting married people lie to get what they want ... i know longer ask if they are married but i do let them know if drama comes to my door then ill hide nothing ...
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Yes you did the right thing, you don't need to make yourself a target for her, by hiding his cheating. So many spouses blame the person their loved one is cheating with, rather than the partner they are with. It's easiest to tell the truth that you didn't know, and don't think for one second that he would be prepared to help you, he'll be looking after his own skin first and using you as scapegoat to get himself out of trouble with her... |
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My phone rings and it's a recent shag Paul's number (*I don't remember the actual names).
Me: hello Paul sweetie, how are you? So nice to hear from you.
Silence
Woman's voice: His name is not Paul, it's Ian* and I'm his wife! Have you been having sex with my husband you filthy slag... (she goes on for another two minutes, clearly upset and traumatised).. and finishes "I hope you're proud of yourself" and pauses to let me speak.
I then explained that "Paul" tells me he's single and even told me stories of going to Stag Do's etc. I reminded her that Ian is in breach of his marriage contract and I would humbly and respectfully suggest she should take it out with the guilty party. I'm just a single girl, out to enjoy herself and clearly not the only person he's lied to.
In the end she conceded that the fault really isn't mine if he's lied to me also. We didn't end the conversation exactly pals but on the same side of his lies.
I didn't delete the number but blocked it in case he should snake back round again with the same number |
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OP I think you did the right thing - getting caught between a relationship breakup is not your problem. The best solution is to be honest if you find yourself in that situation.
I would then block all concerned and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"And this is why couples playing solo never get meets because of the cheating married men.
Couples playing solo absolutely do get meets here."
Sometimes loads of cheaters both sides on here wife gets loads of them |
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
Dont ever feel bad for how others wish to conduct themselves, it’s shit that’s happened and you’ve ended up caught up in it 100% but the blame lies firmly with him. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"And this is why couples playing solo never get meets because of the cheating married men.
I'm married. We play together and separately.
I can assure you, we do get meets. "
I get meets but its hard to get women to trust you as there is alot of Liars on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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My heart goes out to his pregnant GF, (to be pregnant & her partner cheating on her)....
But she obviously went through his phone to find your number & she possibly found other unknown numbers to her there too & contacted them also....
It's awful that you had to get caught up in this situ....But I think I may have blocked & ignored her Maybe ....Seeming as you didn't I hope you made it clear to her that you were unaware he was attached....
Cheaters are very sneaky & dishonest people so chances that she text other women she found in his phone are likely.
I personally would never ever go through somebodys phone especially my partners.... |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
you were honseteset and you did the right thing he should have know better he was cheating not you OP |
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"She thought that he had stopped all this ?
It's not you in the wrong , it's him
Very closely followed by his partner for sticking with him !"
I came here to say this too, I don't think she should have messaged you knowing he's done it before. Clearly their relationship is rocky and they should have kept you out of it. Sending hugs x |
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To be fair it's a tricky area.some couples are open and honest to having intimacy outside the relationship so it's not quite cheating, he has just been dishonest and gone behind her back.cheating would be the fact he wanted something from his woman that he felt she couldn't provide so he went else where for it, he could've told her and waited on her opinion and whatever the response ,he deals with it respectfully and in a mature way |
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By *urora1912Woman 38 weeks ago
Norfolk East anglia |
I've been in a similar situation,the wife rang me asking who was i etc so I told her everything
He never once mentioned a wife or kids.
We had been meeting for well over a year and their youngest is 6 months 
I felt like such a shitty person but I wasn't the one in the wrong that was him |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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Personally, not my circus, not my monkeys!!
I never call back numbers I dont recognise or answer them. If its important, theyll leave a message. Anyway, you did but I would have said nothing, hung up and blocked both.
Not your place to spill the beans. He is her problem not yours.
Mark it down to experience and dont get that involved again.
I always assume everyone is lying or has something to hide on here and I dont get involved. |
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"I've been in a similar situation,the wife rang me asking who was i etc so I told her everything
He never once mentioned a wife or kids.
We had been meeting for well over a year and their youngest is 6 months
I felt like such a shitty person but I wasn't the one in the wrong that was him "
Crazy.... yeah it isn't your fault. It is that guy for being deceitful and dishonest |
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I once had a woman on here message me asking for a meet. Which I was going to do until she told me, she is doing behind her husbands back and she wants to keep it discrete. I thought nope not a chance. I'm not getting involved. |
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I had a similar experience…. Met someone on here who I thought was single as a Pringle. Fast forward 6 months had his partner messaging wanting to know what’s going on. You shouldn’t feel bad for someone else’s deceitful behaviour |
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
No you did the right thing |
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By *hoirCouple 38 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
You are absolutely not in the wrong. He deserves what he gets especially doing it to a pregnant partner. This is why P and I do socials with each other and tell each other everything.
C |
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By *oxy jWoman 38 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
"And this is why couples playing solo never get meets because of the cheating married men.
I'm married. We play together and separately.
I can assure you, we do get meets.
I get meets but its hard to get women to trust you as there is alot of Liars on here. "
those who lie are doing themselves harm not others its so easy to put blame on everybody else when your finding it hard yourself ...
if your not doing well thats you baggage own it rather than try and blame others cause others ruin it for themselves and no one else |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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OP you did the right thing as you were the unsuspecting victim here and that vile decieving pile of shit is to blame.
I make a point of asking men if they are single I know loads lie but I try to do my due diligence. His poor partner what a bastard. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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Me and my husband had a 3some with a man long story short I found out later he had a wife to be. I was in two minds about messaging her on fb but didn't want to make drama.
It's fun on here if you can find men that are genuine I love watchen videos of my husband fucking other women it's a massive turn on for me. Just cheater spoil it. |
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Confused - the OP didn’t say he had told her he wasn’t cheating
And nobody has asked that question
Obviously if he was asked and he lied to the OP it’s totally on him but you can’t assume someone is single when chatting to people on here. Single on profile may just mean to him not married but still has a significant other
If he had lied to me i would just have told her that I was led to believe he didn’t have a partner and blocked both and moved on
Not my place to do more than that, and I was cheated on by a husband so don’t say I don’t understand …. I’m just not here to judge others just don’t lie to me |
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"Swapped numbers with a guy here last night. Sent a couple of bra pics, mostly innocent. He asked a couple of kink questions, was generally polite and pleasant.
And this afternoon, his pregnant girlfriend messaged me, asking who I am, what I've done with her partner, asking for screenshots of messages and call attempts. She's sad because she thought he'd "stopped all this".
This is not swinging. This is cheating. And I don't protect cheaters. I told her everything she needed to know. He tried calling me while I was messaging her, I cancelled the call.
She's thanked me, and doesn't seem angry with me... So why do I feel like absolute shit? Do you think I did the right thing? "
Yes you absolutely did the right thing! It’s also natural to feel shit after going through that as anyone would that is empathetic. On a much lesser degree it must be similar to what emergency service people feel like after having to deliver devastating news to people. It’s a horrible thing to have to do and takes a toll as well on the person having to give the bad news. Just reading what you mentioned she told you, my heart and sympathy goes out to her! Pregnant and in an emotionally abusive relationship thats been toxic for a long time is heartbreaking just to read, let alone to be dragged into the middle of it because of this guy and be the one to deliver more bad news and listen to, possibly even comfort them and what this guy done. You got wrongfully put on a truly horrible place that no one should be put in and it’s even worse when kids are involved. You need to cut yourself some slack as well, covering for this muppet wouldn’t have done his gf or the child any favours long term as I doubt things will get better once the child is born. Least now you’ve given them a fighting chance for something better as she can now choose what to do knowing the truth. Cheating is definitely not Swinging and after causing you distress as well I’d report it to fab if they are on here as well. I don’t know if they’ll do anything but you shouldn’t have to go through or deal with that x |
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