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controversial thread .
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Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject |
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I think it's an age old problem that will never go away.
I tend not to suffer with low body image or low self esteem because I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't criticise my looks. I also have an image in my head of my self as a thirty five year old, very tall brunette 
I am aware that I'm aging and it shows but I'm the same person inside.
I dunno, I think most people look just fine |
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I don't think it's controversial. We are all human and although we can accept our flaws and differences we can equally be cruel to ourselves about them.
Usually this is because we see it as a weakness or a resemblance to someone we don't like. It may make us think back to a time when we were bullied, shamed or had an accident.
It's not just about accepting your flaw it's about accepting, forgiving and healing from your past and that can be very difficult. |
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"I think it's an age old problem that will never go away.
I tend not to suffer with low body image or low self esteem because I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't criticise my looks. I also have an image in my head of my self as a thirty five year old, very tall brunette
I am aware that I'm aging and it shows but I'm the same person inside.
I dunno, I think most people look just fine"
Well you already know what I think
You look beautiful mylady . |
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"I think it's an age old problem that will never go away.
I tend not to suffer with low body image or low self esteem because I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't criticise my looks. I also have an image in my head of my self as a thirty five year old, very tall brunette
I am aware that I'm aging and it shows but I'm the same person inside.
I dunno, I think most people look just fine
Well you already know what I think
You look beautiful mylady ."
Thank you. I think I do too but crucially I don't expect everyone else to agree with me  .
Good body image and high self esteem is something everyone is encouraged to have when they don't have it and something people are criticised for when they do have it. |
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"I think it's an age old problem that will never go away.
I tend not to suffer with low body image or low self esteem because I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't criticise my looks. I also have an image in my head of my self as a thirty five year old, very tall brunette
I am aware that I'm aging and it shows but I'm the same person inside.
I dunno, I think most people look just fine
Well you already know what I think
You look beautiful mylady .
Thank you. I think I do too but crucially I don't expect everyone else to agree with me .
Good body image and high self esteem is something everyone is encouraged to have when they don't have it and something people are criticised for when they do have it. "
So true |
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"I think it's an age old problem that will never go away.
I tend not to suffer with low body image or low self esteem because I was lucky enough to have parents who didn't criticise my looks. I also have an image in my head of my self as a thirty five year old, very tall brunette
I am aware that I'm aging and it shows but I'm the same person inside.
I dunno, I think most people look just fine
Well you already know what I think
You look beautiful mylady .
Thank you. I think I do too but crucially I don't expect everyone else to agree with me .
Good body image and high self esteem is something everyone is encouraged to have when they don't have it and something people are criticised for when they do have it. "
Aye beauty be in the eye of the beholder behold thyself and see the beauty in thee.
You always inspire me mylady to get poetical. |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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I think it's only natural to have self esteem issues at some point in your life , for me it comes and goes . What I find dangerous is looking for validation from others.
I find the fake it till you make approach works for me , I buy lingerie for my own benefit , get my hair done , buy a nice red lippy to wear .. its like my armour strangely , but works for me x |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject "
No real thoughts as I think the issue runs really deeply with those that struggle with how they look and how they think others will view them
I guess it’s partly to do with todays airbrushed social media and modelling where everyone looks 10/10 picture perfect
I see past that if I like someone I like them but no matter how much you try to reassure others it often doesn’t register.
I fear it would take generations of seeing none perfect models etc before others would recognise hey I’m like that and it’s ok.
I don’t know the answer but wish people wouldn’t focus on the “perfect male or female” as being the norm
Ps good luck to anyone struggling I hope you find a way too realise none perfect is perfect |
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"I think it's only natural to have self esteem issues at some point in your life , for me it comes and goes . What I find dangerous is looking for validation from others.
I find the fake it till you make approach works for me , I buy lingerie for my own benefit , get my hair done , buy a nice red lippy to wear .. its like my armour strangely , but works for me x"
It certainly does you beautiful
So keep up the good work and be happy . |
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It’s a tough one.
I’m a confident lady.
Definitely body confident.
Have always hated my face, but am learning to love it now.
There’s no quick fix though. As another poster said a good therapist is worth so much. (Mine happened to come in the form of a ridiculously attractive man who wanted me. I got lucky) |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"Self
No real thoughts as I think the issue runs really deeply with those that struggle with how they look and how they think others will view them
I guess it’s partly to do with todays airbrushed social media and modelling where everyone looks 10/10 picture perfect
I see past that if I like someone I like them but no matter how much you try to reassure others it often doesn’t register.
I fear it would take generations of seeing none perfect models etc before others would recognise hey I’m like that and it’s ok.
I don’t know the answer but wish people wouldn’t focus on the “perfect male or female” as being the norm
Ps good luck to anyone struggling I hope you find a way too realise none perfect is perfect "
I also think it's deeper than the superficial stuff we see in magazines , social media and airbrushing , I think it's rooted in traumatic events in someone's life , it takes a lot of work and usually dealing with the past often helps , but like anything else bearing any type of scars emotional or physical manifests itself into something deeper .. sorry that got a bit heavy x |
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"It’s a tough one.
I’m a confident lady.
Definitely body confident.
Have always hated my face, but am learning to love it now.
There’s no quick fix though. As another poster said a good therapist is worth so much. (Mine happened to come in the form of a ridiculously attractive man who wanted me. I got lucky)"
Yes I also used to offer this service
But I'm only interested in my current client .but also happy to boost any ladies self esteem with words of empowerment and the odd bit of poetry . |
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"Self
No real thoughts as I think the issue runs really deeply with those that struggle with how they look and how they think others will view them
I guess it’s partly to do with todays airbrushed social media and modelling where everyone looks 10/10 picture perfect
I see past that if I like someone I like them but no matter how much you try to reassure others it often doesn’t register.
I fear it would take generations of seeing none perfect models etc before others would recognise hey I’m like that and it’s ok.
I don’t know the answer but wish people wouldn’t focus on the “perfect male or female” as being the norm
Ps good luck to anyone struggling I hope you find a way too realise none perfect is perfect
I also think it's deeper than the superficial stuff we see in magazines , social media and airbrushing , I think it's rooted in traumatic events in someone's life , it takes a lot of work and usually dealing with the past often helps , but like anything else bearing any type of scars emotional or physical manifests itself into something deeper .. sorry that got a bit heavy x"
This is true but the more we can help one another over those thoughts hopefully one day they might fade away . |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"
This is true but the more we can help one another over those thoughts hopefully one day they might fade away ."
Ultimately though it comes down to the individual suffering to change it or at least silence it x |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject "
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie"
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
|
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
"
I think it's an ignorant thread rather than controversial really.
As you say it's an extremely complex issue so to simply say they are choosing not to listen to people saying it's all in their head is ignorance. Trauma responses from either mental abuse or perhaps that cause of scaring etc cannot always be undone by well meaning words from others.
Evie |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
|
"
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
"
It really isn't a choice at all ,would you say a schizophrenic chooses to hear voices or someone with bi polar chooses their highs and Lows .. I know its an extreme comparison, but shows the little understanding that you have in the issue .. 9/10 it really has nothing to do with looks but linked to past trauma in someone's life and its a bi product of that , so as much as you think it's a choice it really isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"
I think it's an ignorant thread rather than controversial really.
As you say it's an extremely complex issue so to simply say they are choosing not to listen to people saying it's all in their head is ignorance. Trauma responses from either mental abuse or perhaps that cause of scaring etc cannot always be undone by well meaning words from others.
Evie "
Absolutely this x |
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"
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
It really isn't a choice at all ,would you say a schizophrenic chooses to hear voices or someone with bi polar chooses their highs and Lows .. I know its an extreme comparison, but shows the little understanding that you have in the issue .. 9/10 it really has nothing to do with looks but linked to past trauma in someone's life and its a bi product of that , so as much as you think it's a choice it really isn't. "
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what I think as you say its about what the person themselfs think . but I put up as topic to hear your thoughts thanks for your contribution. |
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Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs |
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"Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs "
Well I dont want to stick my cock in you .but I think your beautiful your husband thinks your beautiful some of us actually speak the truth im very pleases you've responded because this at the heart of the debate and only you have the answer to it and why I poses the question . |
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"Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs
Well I dont want to stick my cock in you .but I think your beautiful your husband thinks your beautiful some of us actually speak the truth im very pleases you've responded because this at the heart of the debate and only you have the answer to it and why I poses the question ."
I don't think you've seen my face or know me enough to say I'm beautiful so I'd disagree.
There's so much past shit that contributes to people's insecurities and self image places like this don't help either, well I guess they do for some.
Mrs |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
I think it's an ignorant thread rather than controversial really.
As you say it's an extremely complex issue so to simply say they are choosing not to listen to people saying it's all in their head is ignorance. Trauma responses from either mental abuse or perhaps that cause of scaring etc cannot always be undone by well meaning words from others.
Evie "
An ignorant thread can be useful it give you the oportunty to say your thoughts on the subject then maybe better understanding might happen .I've suffers plenty of trauma and sadness in my life been set on fire at early age did lead to these thoughts with regards my body so I can very well understand cause and effect .but I got over them . |
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"Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs
Well I dont want to stick my cock in you .but I think your beautiful your husband thinks your beautiful some of us actually speak the truth im very pleases you've responded because this at the heart of the debate and only you have the answer to it and why I poses the question .
I don't think you've seen my face or know me enough to say I'm beautiful so I'd disagree.
There's so much past shit that contributes to people's insecurities and self image places like this don't help either, well I guess they do for some.
Mrs "
OK well I choose to believe you are beautiful . I simply trying to understand and hopefully get the point veiw of someone does suffer in this way .and open up debate so people can say their thoughts on the subject . |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
I think it's an ignorant thread rather than controversial really.
As you say it's an extremely complex issue so to simply say they are choosing not to listen to people saying it's all in their head is ignorance. Trauma responses from either mental abuse or perhaps that cause of scaring etc cannot always be undone by well meaning words from others.
Evie
An ignorant thread can be useful it give you the oportunty to say your thoughts on the subject then maybe better understanding might happen .I've suffers plenty of trauma and sadness in my life been set on fire at early age did lead to these thoughts with regards my body so I can very well understand cause and effect .but I got over them ."
I'm very happy that you did. Doesn't mean everyone else is at the stage to be able to do that though does it. Peoples recovery processes are very personal and, again, complex.
Evie |
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"Self esteem issues.
So lady and others that have these
Issue.
People who say they hate their own body because of how they look
Or scars and want to cover them up because they don't want to see themselves naked .
Haveing plenty of scars myself haveing suffered severe burns as child other ops and knocks and am ageing I can understand the disquite one might think of onrself .
But im confindent in myself and my abilities with women that I've no hang up about been naked with a
woman no desire to be naked with a man .
But someone else may have tiny scar it be such bid deal to them that want to cover up .
No matter how much their told that the beautiful or handsome in man case .that other people don't see the scars .these people still choose prefer to hate their body's
So thought on the subject
I don't think anyone who truly suffers with low self esteem or body image issues chooses to prefer to hate their bodies really. That's quite a dismissive attitude and leads me to believe you think everyone should just think like you. That is impossible.
Evie
Hence I titled the thread controversial. Thanks for joining in
Sadly the fact is they are choosing to do so because it them doing it.
But yes it a complex issues and one of mental health and we are all effected in some way or another by that .why I brought it up for discussion .
I think it's an ignorant thread rather than controversial really.
As you say it's an extremely complex issue so to simply say they are choosing not to listen to people saying it's all in their head is ignorance. Trauma responses from either mental abuse or perhaps that cause of scaring etc cannot always be undone by well meaning words from others.
Evie
An ignorant thread can be useful it give you the oportunty to say your thoughts on the subject then maybe better understanding might happen .I've suffers plenty of trauma and sadness in my life been set on fire at early age did lead to these thoughts with regards my body so I can very well understand cause and effect .but I got over them .
I'm very happy that you did. Doesn't mean everyone else is at the stage to be able to do that though does it. Peoples recovery processes are very personal and, again, complex.
Evie "
This true the whole point of this thread is because I know someone
Struggling with these issues
And I want to hear others points of view as I can only see it from my own experience. |
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"Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs
Well I dont want to stick my cock in you .but I think your beautiful your husband thinks your beautiful some of us actually speak the truth im very pleases you've responded because this at the heart of the debate and only you have the answer to it and why I poses the question .
I don't think you've seen my face or know me enough to say I'm beautiful so I'd disagree.
There's so much past shit that contributes to people's insecurities and self image places like this don't help either, well I guess they do for some.
Mrs OK well I choose to believe you are beautiful . I simply trying to understand and hopefully get the point veiw of someone does suffer in this way .and open up debate so people can say their thoughts on the subject ."
Belief and reality are seperate.
My opinion of me won't change because someone thinks it should, it'll change when I change there's only me, myself and I that can like me.
Places like this people see a tiny snapshot of what they assume to be confident and sexy based on the pics given, these pics aren't everyday life, they aren't the scruffy pjs, hair slapped up, no make up on, your t-shirt above your belly because you've pilled some pounds on, it's not realistic, it's not reality it's just someone's perceived image of you, that usually isn't an image you can live upto.
So compliments regarding a person on here I feel are nothing, they are for the person they think I am, not me.
Mrs
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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People feel the way they do for many different reasons. Just because one person dealt with it one way and got over it doesn't mean the next person will.
I do think false compliments on here (and they are all false) doesn't help if you don't feel that way yourself. If anything they make it worse.
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"Low self esteem and self consciousness doesn't go away because someone else says "but you look alright"
It's a hard battle with yourself when you don't like what's in the mirror & other people's opinions on how you look don't change what you yourself see.
I could believe the tons of greasy blokes that I'm beautiful because they wanna stick their cock in it, but my eyes see what they see, no amount of false flattery will change that.
Mrs
Well I dont want to stick my cock in you .but I think your beautiful your husband thinks your beautiful some of us actually speak the truth im very pleases you've responded because this at the heart of the debate and only you have the answer to it and why I poses the question .
I don't think you've seen my face or know me enough to say I'm beautiful so I'd disagree.
There's so much past shit that contributes to people's insecurities and self image places like this don't help either, well I guess they do for some.
Mrs OK well I choose to believe you are beautiful . I simply trying to understand and hopefully get the point veiw of someone does suffer in this way .and open up debate so people can say their thoughts on the subject .
Belief and reality are seperate.
My opinion of me won't change because someone thinks it should, it'll change when I change there's only me, myself and I that can like me.
Places like this people see a tiny snapshot of what they assume to be confident and sexy based on the pics given, these pics aren't everyday life, they aren't the scruffy pjs, hair slapped up, no make up on, your t-shirt above your belly because you've pilled some pounds on, it's not realistic, it's not reality it's just someone's perceived image of you, that usually isn't an image you can live upto.
So compliments regarding a person on here I feel are nothing, they are for the person they think I am, not me.
Mrs
"
Thanks for that insight every time you post its always interesting to read . you sound like Maya
She has the same experience with regards physical change caused by health issues and although she may also not feel beautiful she will away be beautiful to me .its no all about what you look like on the outside . |
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