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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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I was in a cafe the other day and I saw an item on the menu called a Duck Sandwich.
That made me sad in a way, because finally the duck was surrounded by bread, but was in no postition to enjoy it.
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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"What do you feed a gay horse?
Haaaaay 
What you call a Russian with one ball?
Ivor Nokabolokov"
What di you call a Russian with 3 balls.
Who’d he nick a bollock off? |
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By *obajxMan 44 weeks ago
Cheshire |
A man was sitting alone in an airport lounge when a beautiful young woman walked in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant, so he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?
The young woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?
The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the fuck do you want”?
“Aha”, he says,... "Ryan air". |
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A doctor is at a party and starts chatting to a guy who tells him he is a lawyer.
‘So you are a lawyer’, he says. ‘well I’m a doctor. Maybe you can help me?’
‘Whenever I start talking to people and I tell them I am a doctor, they always start telling me about their medical problems and ask for my advice. It happens all the time and I’m getting fed up with it. How can I stop this happening?’
The lawyer replies ‘well, that happens to me too, so what I do is send them a bill for services rendered. That always stops them asking me for legal advice’.
‘Thanks a lot’, says the doctor. ‘I’ll try that’.
The next morning the doctor opens his post, only to find a bill from the lawyer.
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