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"Deadbeat/Bad Mother's
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"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on "
I justed wanted to discuss a topic that is rarely spoken about.
Recently society often speaks on Father's/Men failures but we rarely speak about the accountability of Women/Mother's.
I made some mistakes in regards to my ex partner, however I have always been a good Father to my children & feel my ex is punishing me through the lack of contact with our children.
I thought I'd share in the lounge as a safe space to discuss, as I've met alot of Men going through something similar to I'm currently going through.
This is not a bash at Women as my children's Mum is a very good Mother & I know there's alot of hard working Mother's out there.
Just thought I could see if any Women/Mother's could share their experience on the topic at hand     |
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"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on
I justed wanted to discuss a topic that is rarely spoken about.
Recently society often speaks on Father's/Men failures but we rarely speak about the accountability of Women/Mother's.
I made some mistakes in regards to my ex partner, however I have always been a good Father to my children & feel my ex is punishing me through the lack of contact with our children.
I thought I'd share in the lounge as a safe space to discuss, as I've met alot of Men going through something similar to I'm currently going through.
This is not a bash at Women as my children's Mum is a very good Mother & I know there's alot of hard working Mother's out there.
Just thought I could see if any Women/Mother's could share their experience on the topic at hand "
Well the title of the thread is derogatory. Therefore it writes its own narrative and progression. I mean it’s not up to me to decide what your thread title should be but you know it’s the way it is |
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"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on
I justed wanted to discuss a topic that is rarely spoken about.
Recently society often speaks on Father's/Men failures but we rarely speak about the accountability of Women/Mother's.
I made some mistakes in regards to my ex partner, however I have always been a good Father to my children & feel my ex is punishing me through the lack of contact with our children.
I thought I'd share in the lounge as a safe space to discuss, as I've met alot of Men going through something similar to I'm currently going through.
This is not a bash at Women as my children's Mum is a very good Mother & I know there's alot of hard working Mother's out there.
Just thought I could see if any Women/Mother's could share their experience on the topic at hand "
Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs |
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"On a swingers site?????????"
Although this is a Swinger site, I'm not necessarily here just for Sex.
I see this as my adult Facebook, I specifically shared this is the Lounge as apposed to the Swinger section. All sorts gets discussed here.
Whenever I read a post that doesn't relate to me I tend not to comment but, each time their own I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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It’s well known certain mothers use their children as weapons against the fathers. Sorry to hear hope situation resolves OP and you get to see the children. On an opposite note I told my ex to come see his children to have access but he chose to be an absent parent. Then there’s good men who want to be around their children it’s really frustrating. It’s the innocent children who suffer the most.  |
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"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on
I justed wanted to discuss a topic that is rarely spoken about.
Recently society often speaks on Father's/Men failures but we rarely speak about the accountability of Women/Mother's.
I made some mistakes in regards to my ex partner, however I have always been a good Father to my children & feel my ex is punishing me through the lack of contact with our children.
I thought I'd share in the lounge as a safe space to discuss, as I've met alot of Men going through something similar to I'm currently going through.
This is not a bash at Women as my children's Mum is a very good Mother & I know there's alot of hard working Mother's out there.
Just thought I could see if any Women/Mother's could share their experience on the topic at hand
Well the title of the thread is derogatory. Therefore it writes its own narrative and progression. I mean it’s not up to me to decide what your thread title should be but you know it’s the way it is "
"It's provocative, it gets the people going"
You said it mate, it's not your decision. If you know me then you know that I'm not here to offend, but will always say what I wanna say. I don't mean any offence by my Posts |
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By *hrimper36Couple 43 weeks ago
Central France dept 36 |
"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on "
Which imho will all be one sided.
Op when your kids are old enough they will I’m sure want to see you but from experience it may be a waiting game.
Good luck.
T |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs "
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967) |
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By *929Man 43 weeks ago
bedlington |
My ex was a fantastic mother and changed the day she moved out for good, I have my son full time and she has seen him 3 times for 5 minutes each time in the last 18 months, she also claimed tax credits or whatever they call it for him from the time she left till last summer and he never saw a penny of it and she wasn’t even seeing him regular, also changed her doctor and never said nothing meaning he was without a doctor and was unable to get his thyroid medicine till I got him registered at my doctor. The list goes on of shot she’s pulled since leaving like a different person would definitely say she qualifies as a deadbeat mother but I do think they are in the minority compared to the amount of dads that don’t give a fuck |
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"It’s well known certain mothers use their children as weapons against the fathers. Sorry to hear hope situation resolves OP and you get to see the children. On an opposite note I told my ex to come see his children to have access but he chose to be an absent parent. Then there’s good men who want to be around their children it’s really frustrating. It’s the innocent children who suffer the most. "
Thanks for the positive response & it's always refreshing hearing that from a Mother. I have friends like your Childrens Father & it is hard to see them not taking responsibility when given fair opportunity to do so.
My mother never restricted my Father but he also chose to take you Childrens Fathers route.
I also get it from Fathers point of view but I couldn't give up on them despite what went on with Me & Mum. I take full accountability for my role in the downfall but like you said it's always the kids that suffer |
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"You're going to have to give us a bit more to go on
Which imho will all be one sided.
Op when your kids are old enough they will I’m sure want to see you but from experience it may be a waiting game.
Good luck.
T"
Thank you for your response... I've recently come to terms with this & have been doing everything my power to patiently wait for that day to come.
Gonna be the best GrandDad ever... watch this space |
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Is this gender neutral, such that it could be any parent, steering kids away from the other(s)?
It probably doesn't need to be biased, just because OP is a man. I've seen it happen with all of them, as tragic as it is  |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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It's true that women can use children as weapons in break ups and fathers suffer as a result but that's a statement based on no context. In general, if you are geuinuely concerned about your children's welfare under their mother's care, you should be talking to the authorities not fabswingers. |
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"It's true that women can use children as weapons in break ups and fathers suffer as a result."
This is all I wanted to discuss tbh.
I know how I phrased it may have been controversial to some, it obviously attracted your attention & my only intention was discuss the fact you've stated.
Do you know a bad Mother or a good Father who wants to see his kids but the Mother doesn't allow him to due to her dislike for the Father/Him???
My Children are well looked after & I do my part as a caring Father, despite all I've mentioned above.
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)"
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court. |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court. "
I have often found that this is because the one complaining actually has no interest in being a parent but wants everyone to think its the resident parents fault.
MrsAbz |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court. "
What cost £300???
Please go into more details, where do I pay £300 to see my children, to put them to bed every night, to make sure they get to school n back every day... £300 it takes more than £300 but if you know a solution to pay that amount to be in my children life I'd love to double |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court.
I have often found that this is because the one complaining actually has no interest in being a parent but wants everyone to think its the resident parents fault.
MrsAbz"
This maybe the case in your experience on the said topic, however my interest in the topic is genuine & only wanted to discuss with Father's/Mother's who have been through a similar experience.
My children's Mother is a good Parent, I have no issue about my Children's safety or well being, I'm more concerned about how balanced they are without a willing loving Father.
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Society accepts fathers walking away from there kids.
Mother's if they leave the relationship and the kids with the father they're looked upon as monsters. Men don't have that issue. |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)"
You have legal rights as a dad, if you want to see your child then go through the courts for access.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court.
I have often found that this is because the one complaining actually has no interest in being a parent but wants everyone to think its the resident parents fault.
MrsAbz
This maybe the case in your experience on the said topic, however my interest in the topic is genuine & only wanted to discuss with Father's/Mother's who have been through a similar experience.
My children's Mother is a good Parent, I have no issue about my Children's safety or well being, I'm more concerned about how balanced they are without a willing loving Father.
"
so your ex-wife is a good parent
You are an awesome parent (with no evidence) who wants more access to your kids
.. And yet you entitled your thread "Deadbeat/Bad Mother's"....which is really derogatory... But you now say is unconnected to your ask. If this is how you are in reality you're kids are gonna be very confused
Anyway I'm interested in
-how much access you currently have
-how far away you live
-does the mother work - pt/ft
-age of kids
-what changes do you want to effect
-why did the partnership dissolve
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Yes I believe you can get bad on both sides.
In my case it's definitely the father. He walked away as soon as we knew I was pregnant pretty much. Turns out he'd previously walked away from another child when she was only a few months old. Apparently we're BOTH horrible and stop him seeing his two kids   |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court.
What cost £300???
Please go into more details, where do I pay £300 to see my children, to put them to bed every night, to make sure they get to school n back every day... £300 it takes more than £300 but if you know a solution to pay that amount to be in my children life I'd love to double "
C100 application for a child arrangements order costs around £300. The court will decide how much of that stuff you get to do. |
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Sounds like youre in a similar situation to me pal in regards to mother not letting you see the kid/kids its so spiteful that someone can actually hurt and damage a child this way. All I can say is never stop fighting It took me over 3 year be where I am now at stage where she has contact court ordered only 0nce every 3 months my youngest son is in process of being rehomed with myself also with that deadline hoped to be hit in 3 months time get layered up and prepare to fight with mother and possible authorities |
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By *orny-DJMan 43 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
I feel your pain OP and spent seven and a half years fighting through the courts over my children. Got custody of my youngest 7 years ago. Eldest was placed in foster care due to the psycological damage her mother had done to her.
If your ex is preventing you from seeing your children, that's considered abuse.
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court. "
It costs a heck of a lot more than that. We've had to go through the process as M ex was preventing access. We were lucky as we could afford it, there are many not so lucky. |
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"Have you tried court for visitation/shared custody?
I never agree with people stopping a parent seeing their children, I've seen pricks on both sides mum's and dad's, unless there's any DV/abuse etc I personally think it's always in the child's best interests to have both parents involved, shared care.
Mrs
There isn't anything legal in place however...
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned"
William Congreves 'The Mourning Bride' (1967)
Why haven't you gone to court? It costs £300, free if you're on benefits. I never understand parents who complain about having no contact but don't apply to court.
It costs a heck of a lot more than that. We've had to go through the process as M ex was preventing access. We were lucky as we could afford it, there are many not so lucky. "
It costs more if you need a solicitor of course. Anyone can represent themselves in person for free. |
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