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Free Vs Paid
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
Which kind of swinging site would you prefer?
A free one open to anyone like this, or one which has a paid membership, but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?
And we'll assume in the case of the latter that the profiles are real people and not just ghosts and bots used to dupe you out of your cash.
For the most part I can guess what the response will be, but we'll see... |
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By *bi HaiveMan 34 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
As the site is now for me. Optional payment for some additional services but free if you want.
No amount of monthly fee would change the make up of the members, and I speak from experience of paid sites. Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders. |
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Having looked at others where you need to pay to get any sort of useful site... this site is loads better.
Yes, it's okd and basic but it gives users all the necessary tools.
No site guarantees success and paying more doesn't equate to better more sex... unless you're actually paying for a sex worker.
Nita |
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By *bi HaiveMan 34 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders.
'but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?'
 "
I read that.
I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here. There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate.
Hence my answer was as it was. |
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I've tried other sites before I came to Fab and frankly they were all crap and not worth the money. I did meet people but the ratio of real ones to false was no better, and usually worse, than here. The only complaints I have about Fab are trivial and far outweighed by the number of great people I've met and become friends with - and the forums. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here."
Sounds like a gap in the market then?
"There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate."
Supposing you're lucky enough to break through the vast wall of yellow and aren't demolished with along with it by a bulk delete |
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"Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders.
'but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?'
I read that.
I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here. There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate.
Hence my answer was as it was. "
Exactly this.
Nita |
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By *bi HaiveMan 34 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here.
Sounds like a gap in the market then?
There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate.
Supposing you're lucky enough to break through the vast wall of yellow and aren't demolished with along with it by a bulk delete "
If you think there's a gap in the market go for it. Many have tried.
And personally I don't worry about trying to break through walls. I send few messages. The majority get read. Some lead to things, others don't. But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life. |
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"Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders.
'but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?'
I read that.
I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here. There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate.
Hence my answer was as it was. "
have to agree with this. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life. "
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you. |
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By *oxesMan 34 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"Which kind of swinging site would you prefer?
A free one open to anyone like this, or one which has a paid membership, but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?
And we'll assume in the case of the latter that the profiles are real people and not just ghosts and bots used to dupe you out of your cash.
For the most part I can guess what the response will be, but we'll see..."
All swinging sites have a problem regarding growth. They are generally local to a country or certain countries. At the moment regardless of what the site says. There are no truly global swingers sites that have created a monopoly for itself. Like other social media sites. Bit maybe one day Fab well dominate the competition. |
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"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you."
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people? |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders.
'but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?'
"
'but offers the illusion of a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in the finding the kind of meets you want?' |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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Hi op
I have used a few sites over the years and now down to one...HERE. It is good value, maybe basic and unattractive but not here to look at that more for the attraction and connection of like minded people.
I enjoy the ambiance and feel of the site it is quiet and unobtrusive it is what it is and we all make use of here in our own way just like any other site.
Free, nothing in life is free there be a sex tax soon    |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people? "
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already. |
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"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people?
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already."
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
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By *batMan 34 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already."
Market forces. If enough people don't like it, the site will get no money.
There is of course a site feedback forum if you really want to suggest changes. Probably more apt than the Lounge. It's about knowing how to use the site I suppose.
Gbat
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"I would stay. If there really was a better alternative, a lot of guys who don’t do very well here would move over there the men to women ratio would be more balanced here! "
4D chess thinking right there |
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I'd not want messages in chronological order, what would be the point? If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones? Plus there's now the friends messages option, which is handy  |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people?
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already.
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
"
Might help them get read though? |
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You seem to want to change people's opinion even though you asked for it. In principle everyone would want a site with no fakes and all the other stuff mentioned but to be honest it will not really make much difference and will exclude some genuine people who can't afford to pay. A bit of common sense and use of the tools given does a good enough job imo but others may think otherwise  |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones? "
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
Unless it really is just 'hi wuu2' types in which case I can understand not bothering with them, but if that's why you're choosing not to read them then why not simply delete and block? |
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I can’t see much wrong with how this site works.
There’s filters. There’s a delete button. There’s a block button. There’s forums (which I love). Cams (not for me but I know they’re popular).
It doesn’t matter on the layout or tech. The thing that makes it is the people. And how you interact.
Poor workman and all that  |
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"If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones?
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
Unless it really is just 'hi wuu2' types in which case I can understand not bothering with them, but if that's why you're choosing not to read them then why not simply delete and block?"
Because I'd have to go into every one individually to read/block. Yes, I could set filters to not receive them, but then that also defeats the point of me being on here, as I'm looking to meet people. I have no issues with there being unread ones in my inbox, as they start from the most recent |
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FAB is great. It’s free and pretty much every swinger in the UK is here. It’s not a very pretty website but it does what it needs to do. I can’t see what other filters you would need. Most of the complaints are from people, mainly men, who don’t get lucky for reasons that are nothing to do with the website. |
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"
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?"
I think that what you will find is that the men who are meeting are actually relatively low users of the mail functionality. Furthermore the mail will often be inbound - they are being approached rather than the other way round. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones?
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
Unless it really is just 'hi wuu2' types in which case I can understand not bothering with them, but if that's why you're choosing not to read them then why not simply delete and block?
Because I'd have to go into every one individually to read/block. Yes, I could set filters to not receive them, but then that also defeats the point of me being on here, as I'm looking to meet people. I have no issues with there being unread ones in my inbox, as they start from the most recent "
Right okay, so why do you leave them unread for a month, what's the difference between those and the ones you do decide to read?
If you don't like the person's profile pic then you can go ahead and delete, I'm not going to judge you for not fancying someone, though that would make me wonder what the point is in writing well thought out, personal messages on here if that is the case, especially when so many in this thread say that's the secret to success? |
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I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?
I think that what you will find is that the men who are meeting are actually relatively low users of the mail functionality. Furthermore the mail will often be inbound - they are being approached rather than the other way round. "
Very much this.
I changed my filters four years ago so no one could send me a first message, and my experience on Fab has improved dramatically. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?
I think that what you will find is that the men who are meeting are actually relatively low users of the mail functionality. Furthermore the mail will often be inbound - they are being approached rather than the other way round. "
I don't doubt you, but it sounds like a lot of it comes down to luck then?
I too have noticed some guys who have lots of verifications despite not using the forums nor going to clubs, perhaps these verifications give them a snowball effect from people checking them out based on others recommendations that way?
Though it'd also make me wonder how they got enough to begin that process, though I'll also admit they tend to be particularly good looking, which I'm sure is a big advantage.  |
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"If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones?
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
Unless it really is just 'hi wuu2' types in which case I can understand not bothering with them, but if that's why you're choosing not to read them then why not simply delete and block?
Because I'd have to go into every one individually to read/block. Yes, I could set filters to not receive them, but then that also defeats the point of me being on here, as I'm looking to meet people. I have no issues with there being unread ones in my inbox, as they start from the most recent
Right okay, so why do you leave them unread for a month, what's the difference between those and the ones you do decide to read?
If you don't like the person's profile pic then you can go ahead and delete, I'm not going to judge you for not fancying someone, though that would make me wonder what the point is in writing well thought out, personal messages on here if that is the case, especially when so many in this thread say that's the secret to success?"
Because that's the way I've always used Fab, and it works well for me. I'm certainly not suggesting anyone else does it that way at all. I'm just saying I do, and pointing out that for me chronologically messages would be pointless. |
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"
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?
I think that what you will find is that the men who are meeting are actually relatively low users of the mail functionality. Furthermore the mail will often be inbound - they are being approached rather than the other way round.
I don't doubt you, but it sounds like a lot of it comes down to luck then?
I too have noticed some guys who have lots of verifications despite not using the forums nor going to clubs, perhaps these verifications give them a snowball effect from people checking them out based on others recommendations that way?
Though it'd also make me wonder how they got enough to begin that process, though I'll also admit they tend to be particularly good looking, which I'm sure is a big advantage. "
The forums are a tiny part of the site and, frankly, not that representative of what goes on - at least in my experience.
The community is small and people tend to know each other - they talk and if they trust you then they will tell others about you. It’s how things like party invites often happen.
Your profile is key because ladies and couples do search for whatever they want - and if that is the thing you have then they will reach out. You just need to make sure that your profile shows that off. Saying you can do everything defeats the objective. |
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"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people?
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already."
Streamline them how?
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A paid site will never attract as many members as a free one. And lots of members is the key test of a good swinging site. So this has to be the best even though the lack of development is irritating. |
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I prefer the greatest volumes of people, which would be the free option OP. I then have better choice, using due diligence, to sort and find what I need.
Charging can just give you a worse choice of people who can cause the same issues as on free sites
Makers will pay to get what they want. Moreso, if there is less competition from others |
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"
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?
I think that what you will find is that the men who are meeting are actually relatively low users of the mail functionality. Furthermore the mail will often be inbound - they are being approached rather than the other way round.
I don't doubt you, but it sounds like a lot of it comes down to luck then?
I too have noticed some guys who have lots of verifications despite not using the forums nor going to clubs, perhaps these verifications give them a snowball effect from people checking them out based on others recommendations that way?
Though it'd also make me wonder how they got enough to begin that process, though I'll also admit they tend to be particularly good looking, which I'm sure is a big advantage. "
Perhaps they go to private parties or are more attractive because of how they speak to women?
I've met men who didn't have any verifications because I liked their messages. One only had a torso pic showing. |
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"If I've left them sat in my inbox unread for a month I'm unlikely to enjoy scrolling through them to get to recent ones?
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
Unless it really is just 'hi wuu2' types in which case I can understand not bothering with them, but if that's why you're choosing not to read them then why not simply delete and block?"
No. Do you take the time to read every bit of unrequested mail that comes through your letter box? It doesn't matter how much time and care anybody takes to compose a message, whether I read it is completely my choice, there is no obligation to even open it. |
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By *wesomeLolaCouple 34 weeks ago
Peterborough and Buckinghamshire |
I think Fab is a good compromise between free and paid. Anyone can use it for free without restrictions on contact. If you want a few extra features you can pay a reasonable amount, which improves the overall experience.
It's a lot better than any dating site I have seen. It works for us as well as we could hope. |
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The people who use FAB as a fuck and go site and the ones who don’t bother enhancing their profile are easier ignored/deleted.
I don’t even notice if someone’s paid for the site or not - if they have a great profile with good pics and we connect then that’s all I’m looking for.
K |
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I am a paid member here and another site. Being a single male (widower) and my age . Yes do not get many replies etc.
On this and other site I seem to get responses at times then nothing. I would say 80% of responses are scammers who are easy to tell . Rest yes either to far away for meet or from messaging not compatible for fun.
If sites are free then very open to ‘fakes’ etc. If paid then still would not deter. Unless cost is high. Then not many people will join ?
Soon if age verification is applied to prove persons. All sites will loose members . Whether free or paid up ? |
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"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people?
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already.
I doubt that whether mails are shown first in or last in will really make that much difference as to whether you get a meet or not.
Might help them get read though?"
In most cases, the reason messages don't get read is because the profile is unattractive... and any time that you're competing with a "wall of yellow", a poor profile is going to miss out.
Probably the biggest issue with FAB is the number of single guys who think that the site is a hook-up site, hence the single ladies with 100's of messages.
Cal |
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"Which kind of swinging site would you prefer?
A free one open to anyone like this, or one which has a paid membership, but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?
And we'll assume in the case of the latter that the profiles are real people and not just ghosts and bots used to dupe you out of your cash.
For the most part I can guess what the response will be, but we'll see..."
I have platinum membership it doesn't come cheap I'll have you know |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
"
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight? |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?"
I don't eat takeaways or read advertising |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?I don't eat takeaways or read advertising "
The profile is nearly ready  |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?I don't eat takeaways or read advertising
The profile is nearly ready "
are you cooking it? |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?I don't eat takeaways or read advertising "
But they've taken the time to create that advertising for you... how rude |
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My reading of and by the ops subsequent posts
Single male isn't getting any
Wants the site changed to guarantee success
Newsflash
No changes to the site is a guarantor of anything
P.S.
More filters tools might mean you're excluded more op  |
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"Which kind of swinging site would you prefer?
A free one open to anyone like this, or one which has a paid membership, but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?
And we'll assume in the case of the latter that the profiles are real people and not just ghosts and bots used to dupe you out of your cash.
For the most part I can guess what the response will be, but we'll see..."
Don’t see what the problem is with fab, lots of people are getting the meets they want, the people who aren’t should probably start looking more inwardly as to why they aren’t, rather than blaming everything and anything else. |
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It's not the site to blame for lack of meets, people and can blame this and blame that, suggest this fix and that fix.
Just maybe it's someones approach on here that makes it difficult for meets. If that's the case then it's up to them to change or look elsewhere! But then the fault can't lie with them could it, as that would mean accountability being taken.
Mr |
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"But I also don't rely just on being on Fab to interact with people. It's just one element of my swinging life.
Good for you.
But for the bulk of us here who have no interest in the club scene, and would just like the site to work better than it does for what it's supposedly meant to do, there's plenty to criticise and which could be improved upon.
But as ever you come off as a yes man for the status quo, so doubt I'll get anything more than the usual platitudes from you.
Can I ask what would make this site better for you to meet people?
Easy - streamline the single male profiles, and I can think of plenty of ways to do this.
Also having mails be received in chronological order rather than most recent first would be a much simpler thing to implement.
I'm probably wasting my time suggesting such things though, the site is of course perfect already."
What if your profile would be streamlined out?
As many have said before unless someone has asked for a message from you then really they’re not obligated to read/reply to you. Sorry you’re not having much luck OP, you haven’t asked for profile advice so I can’t comment on it but I wish you all the best on your fab journey |
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"Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders.
'but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?'
I read that.
I don't believe any site offers any tools or filters that will change success rates in finding meets over and above what's available here. There's no greater tool than a decent profile and an ability to communicate.
Hence my answer was as it was. "
There could be more done for consent and security along with verification of members legitimacy. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them..."
I love these non sequiturs from the usual suspects, I really do.
If someone has been respectful enough to think about and write you a considered and thoughtful mail in an attempt to gain your attention, the least you can do is have enough mutual respect as to *read* it - there's still no pressure to reply.
Using your logic, expecting a 'thankyou' when I've held the door open for you or moved aside on the pavement would be 'entitled' of me.
"Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?"
Dreadful analogy. |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
I love these non sequiturs from the usual suspects, I really do.
If someone has been respectful enough to think about and write you a considered and thoughtful mail in an attempt to gain your attention, the least you can do is have enough mutual respect as to *read* it - there's still no pressure to reply.
Using your logic, expecting a 'thankyou' when I've held the door open for you or moved aside on the pavement would be 'entitled' of me.
"
You need to be aware of the culture that you find yourself in.
What you're very clearly being told is that you should not have expectations of what is done with your message. The FAQ hints at that, although this goes further.
If I come from a country where I show my gratitude for someone holding open a door by punching someone in the face, perhaps I should learn the culture where it's better to thank someone, before I'm arrested?
Perhaps, similarly, you should learn the norms here rather than upsetting yourself? |
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"As the site is now for me. Optional payment for some additional services but free if you want.
No amount of monthly fee would change the make up of the members, and I speak from experience of paid sites. Fees don't change behaviour, expectations or radically alter any ratios of genders. "
Same.
Fab does everything I want, there's more than one way to interact with people, which other sites don't offer. Other sites its messaging or swiping only.
Fab offers a feast of opportunities and for free.
I can let my SS pass lapse and still have all the access i need.
I've spent upwards of £30 a month on other sites and not had the blast I have here. |
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It's a hobby not a lifestyle choice and as such I wouldn't be here or anywhere if it was behind a paywall.
I find it strange that the main reason most give for a subscription based site is to reduce the number of fakes or timewasters.
I find it strange because in 8 years I've never once engaged with a fake profile or been stood up or had my time wasted.
As we all know on the forum some people have different definitions of what a timewaster is and more often than not it's just someone who isn't interested in the person complaining.
A paid site wouldn't change attitudes like that. |
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"It's a hobby not a lifestyle choice and as such I wouldn't be here or anywhere if it was behind a paywall.
I find it strange that the main reason most give for a subscription based site is to reduce the number of fakes or timewasters.
I find it strange because in 8 years I've never once engaged with a fake profile or been stood up or had my time wasted.
As we all know on the forum some people have different definitions of what a timewaster is and more often than not it's just someone who isn't interested in the person complaining.
A paid site wouldn't change attitudes like that."
I don't doubt that there are many here who are fakes and time wasters (by "fake" I mean "not who they say they are in a way that fundamentally makes a difference" and by time waster I mean "someone who wants to string you along with genuinely no intention of meeting").
Such is the internet. Being an edgelord or a troll is now mainstream.
But the answer isn't a paywall or whatever. It's being a damn adult, using your judgement, and working these things out for yourself. |
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By *hoirCouple 34 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Which kind of swinging site would you prefer?
A free one open to anyone like this, or one which has a paid membership, but offers a greater range of tools and filters to aid you in finding the kind of meets you want?
And we'll assume in the case of the latter that the profiles are real people and not just ghosts and bots used to dupe you out of your cash.
For the most part I can guess what the response will be, but we'll see..."
Free as I like poor people as well as well as potential sugar mummies.
C |
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"It's a hobby not a lifestyle choice and as such I wouldn't be here or anywhere if it was behind a paywall.
I find it strange that the main reason most give for a subscription based site is to reduce the number of fakes or timewasters.
I find it strange because in 8 years I've never once engaged with a fake profile or been stood up or had my time wasted.
As we all know on the forum some people have different definitions of what a timewaster is and more often than not it's just someone who isn't interested in the person complaining.
A paid site wouldn't change attitudes like that."
It also hints at elitism.
You're not up to my standard so we should start charging everyone in the hope of getting a better class of clientele. |
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"It's a hobby not a lifestyle choice and as such I wouldn't be here or anywhere if it was behind a paywall.
I find it strange that the main reason most give for a subscription based site is to reduce the number of fakes or timewasters.
I find it strange because in 8 years I've never once engaged with a fake profile or been stood up or had my time wasted.
As we all know on the forum some people have different definitions of what a timewaster is and more often than not it's just someone who isn't interested in the person complaining.
A paid site wouldn't change attitudes like that.
It also hints at elitism.
You're not up to my standard so we should start charging everyone in the hope of getting a better class of clientele."
I just prefer the features of paid tools like a proper messaging system with features and an app for your phone. You can get 10x done in less time swiping on profiles etc or WhatsApp integration rather than manually typing out numbers |
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Fab always reminds me of community groups where people decide to join, they read and agree to the rules and regulations and then when it isn't as they expected they start suggesting changes to improve their own experience.
I'm sure there are lots of paid sites already out there so why not sign up with one of those?
Much easier than having your hand held here. , |
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"
I don't know, if someone's taken the time to write a message to you it might be polite to take the time to read it?
This is a common (and entitled) argument, but you need to remember that they never asked you to message them...
I love these non sequiturs from the usual suspects, I really do.
If someone has been respectful enough to think about and write you a considered and thoughtful mail in an attempt to gain your attention, the least you can do is have enough mutual respect as to *read* it - there's still no pressure to reply.
Using your logic, expecting a 'thankyou' when I've held the door open for you or moved aside on the pavement would be 'entitled' of me.
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?
Dreadful analogy."
Why, what's the difference between one person not reading and replying to an unsolicited communication and another person not reading and replying to an unsolicited communication? Except for it being your own communication that's being overlooked.
As for the "thank you" for your good deeds, surely it's not really a good deed if you need a personal gratification in response.
I completely understand your frustrations, but ultimately, you will never be able to "force" someone to reply to your messages. The futility of having a virtual tantrum over people expressing their own free choice is fairly obvious really.
Cal |
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"Fab always reminds me of community groups where people decide to join, they read and agree to the rules and regulations and then when it isn't as they expected they start suggesting changes to improve their own experience.
I'm sure there are lots of paid sites already out there so why not sign up with one of those?
Much easier than having your hand held here. ,"
From everything I've heard, the same people complaining about Fab are also complaining about all the other places.
Where's the common denominator here?
... of course this is silly, we can't ask people to look at themselves, we can only blame others. |
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"Fab always reminds me of community groups where people decide to join, they read and agree to the rules and regulations and then when it isn't as they expected they start suggesting changes to improve their own experience.
I'm sure there are lots of paid sites already out there so why not sign up with one of those?
Much easier than having your hand held here. ,
From everything I've heard, the same people complaining about Fab are also complaining about all the other places.
Where's the common denominator here?
... of course this is silly, we can't ask people to look at themselves, we can only blame others."
Personal responsibility what even is that?
Mr |
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"We'd pay more for a better verification process on here.. way too many fake profiles slipping thru now.. maybe an initial joining fee, until photo verification.. "
This is the one thing that I think would make a marked difference - some kind of full identity verification process. It would scare a lot of the fantasists off - those people who are playing away without permission, etc and would also allow someone to be banned properly as you would always know their true identity. Obviously it would have to be kept super secure (which is why I don’t think it would happen) but it would be a game changer. |
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"Fab always reminds me of community groups where people decide to join, they read and agree to the rules and regulations and then when it isn't as they expected they start suggesting changes to improve their own experience.
I'm sure there are lots of paid sites already out there so why not sign up with one of those?
Much easier than having your hand held here. ,
From everything I've heard, the same people complaining about Fab are also complaining about all the other places.
Where's the common denominator here?
... of course this is silly, we can't ask people to look at themselves, we can only blame others.
Personal responsibility what even is that?
Mr "
Often an overused phrase when talking about structural failings that harm minority groups.
But for "I can't get casual sex"? Pfft. pull your socks up and deal. |
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"We'd pay more for a better verification process on here.. way too many fake profiles slipping thru now.. maybe an initial joining fee, until photo verification..
This is the one thing that I think would make a marked difference - some kind of full identity verification process. It would scare a lot of the fantasists off - those people who are playing away without permission, etc and would also allow someone to be banned properly as you would always know their true identity. Obviously it would have to be kept super secure (which is why I don’t think it would happen) but it would be a game changer."
There are 2 big sex based sites I know that do this and they have no issue with security. Also if you did identify someone against their wishes if there was a security breach you would be open to being prosecuted by the online safety bill laws. |
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"Fab always reminds me of community groups where people decide to join, they read and agree to the rules and regulations and then when it isn't as they expected they start suggesting changes to improve their own experience.
I'm sure there are lots of paid sites already out there so why not sign up with one of those?
Much easier than having your hand held here. ,
From everything I've heard, the same people complaining about Fab are also complaining about all the other places.
Where's the common denominator here?
... of course this is silly, we can't ask people to look at themselves, we can only blame others.
Personal responsibility what even is that?
Mr
Often an overused phrase when talking about structural failings that harm minority groups.
But for "I can't get casual sex"? Pfft. pull your socks up and deal."
In a lot of cases, based in feelings of entitlement which are not met, expectations unmet= a need not being met, which then becomes a external blame, as nothing could be wrong with them..its the matrixes fault....
Mr |
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"We'd pay more for a better verification process on here.. way too many fake profiles slipping thru now.. maybe an initial joining fee, until photo verification..
This is the one thing that I think would make a marked difference - some kind of full identity verification process. It would scare a lot of the fantasists off - those people who are playing away without permission, etc and would also allow someone to be banned properly as you would always know their true identity. Obviously it would have to be kept super secure (which is why I don’t think it would happen) but it would be a game changer.
There are 2 big sex based sites I know that do this and they have no issue with security. Also if you did identify someone against their wishes if there was a security breach you would be open to being prosecuted by the online safety bill laws."
Curious to find out more about that. |
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By *r_reus OP Man 34 weeks ago
Coventry |
"
Do you read every take-away flier that comes through your letterbox, then ring them all to tell them that they're not what you're wanting tonight?
Dreadful analogy.
Why, what's the difference between one person not reading and replying to an unsolicited communication and another person not reading and replying to an unsolicited communication? Except for it being your own communication that's being overlooked.
"
Because take away fliers are mass produced in bulk for wide delivery, those sending them out are well aware that 9/10 (or more) of them will simply end up in the bin.
Basically, it's a completely different matter to individual message specifically written for the selected recipients.
"
As for the "thank you" for your good deeds, surely it's not really a good deed if you need a personal gratification in response.
"
Maybe not, 'a good deed is it's own reward' and all that, but good manners at least tell the person showing you a kindness that their consideration is appreciated.
These are the foundation of a healthy and well adjusted society, and similarly show yourself to be a person of character - quite contrary to your argument, it's the one who doesn't acknowledge the respect they've been shown who is the entitled party here.
"
I completely understand your frustrations, but ultimately, you will never be able to "force" someone to reply to your messages.
"
I made no mention nor implication of force, I'm highlighting a lack of respect.
"
The futility of having a virtual tantrum over people expressing their own free choice is fairly obvious really.
"
I'm a little old to be throwing tantrums, though you should be able to tell from the thoughtful tone of my responses throughout this disagreement, and likewise the many others I engage in, that I am quite calm when responding, despite the loud and apparent defensiveness my criticisms inevitably draw. |
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OP you do realise that due to the ratio differences on here that many messages sent are essentially 'spam'?. Copy/paste, sent out in the hope that by playing the numbers game someone will respond. There are very, very few well thought out, crafted messages sent on Fab. If someone doesn't reply? Well then that's their choice |
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