FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sorry but your not what I'm looking for
Sorry but your not what I'm looking for
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No don't, because to most its nice to even get that message. I'd appreciate it more, a little politeness does no one any harm even if they can't give that respect back x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well all I can say is well done for at least trying! If I messaged you and got that reply back, I'd obviously be disappointed that you weren't interested but grateful for the evidence that you'd at least taken the time to read the message, check me out and form an opinion.
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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see this is the problem I have found too
You send a polite no thanks and you get nasty come backs from guys who cant accept a polite no thanks, so you stop sending them and men call women ignorant and stuck up because we cant even send a simple no thanks!
Its hard to know what to do for the best
I just stopped mailing guys I had no interest in as I got sick of the abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have always used very much the same thing and 99.9% have always had a polite message saying thanks for coming back to us. Keep using the same thing as remember there are people at the other end ,which some forget on here.
manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well all I can say is well done for at least trying! If I messaged you and got that reply back, I'd obviously be disappointed that you weren't interested but grateful for the evidence that you'd at least taken the time to read the message, check me out and form an opinion.
xx"
I've messaged back on here to people I wasn't interested in but we still had a could laugh on the messages and have become friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we have always used very much the same thing and 99.9% have always had a polite message saying thanks for coming back to us. Keep using the same thing as remember there are people at the other end ,which some forget on here.
manners cost nothing"
thanks for the reply and take care..wait..did u just say YES!!!???!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"we have always used very much the same thing and 99.9% have always had a polite message saying thanks for coming back to us. Keep using the same thing as remember there are people at the other end ,which some forget on here.
manners cost nothing"
Your right manners do cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this site could so much be better if everyone took a little more time and remember that people have feelings...keep it up and don't become like others"
I think the sun shines out of ur...
faces
lovely pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I for one appreciate a " thank you but no" message.. Those who just delete or block without reading are just rude, whatever anyone says. Has courtesy vanished altogether ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lady sent me the "I'm sorry but your not my type " message, but added at the end that it wouldn't do no harm trying to talk her round. We have become great friends since because of the banter. I make a point of not being a Dick because of rejection , after all not everybody is a persons cup of tea, the people who get abusive just need to get over themselves imho |
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"we have always used very much the same thing and 99.9% have always had a polite message saying thanks for coming back to us. Keep using the same thing as remember there are people at the other end ,which some forget on here.
manners cost nothing"
That's what I found too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"see this is the problem I have found too
You send a polite no thanks and you get nasty come backs from guys who cant accept a polite no thanks, so you stop sending them and men call women ignorant and stuck up because we cant even send a simple no thanks!
Its hard to know what to do for the best
I just stopped mailing guys I had no interest in as I got sick of the abuse"
A polite no thanks is good,at least you know where you stand.It's worse when you hear nothing.Everyone has there own types and its nice for the female to at least reply. |
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I sent a "its a thanks but no thanks from me but hope you find what you are looking for and have fun" toady.
He came back with I am so far up my own backside and I am not all that (which I know) and who do you think you are.
Why do we bother?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After replying to a message saying "thanks for message, you're not my type" I then got a message back saying "you're not mine either"!!
So now wondering what was the point of him sending a message in the first place
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After replying to a message saying "thanks for message, you're not my type" I then got a message back saying "you're not mine either"!!
So now wondering what was the point of him sending a message in the first place
"
its a childlike response to say "I'm not hurt..but I can hurt u" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I sent a "its a thanks but no thanks from me but hope you find what you are looking for and have fun" toady.
He came back with I am so far up my own backside and I am not all that (which I know) and who do you think you are.
Why do we bother? "
Sadly that s how I was feeling earlier, but had a rant on the forums, thank you forums and feeling better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After replying to a message saying "thanks for message, you're not my type" I then got a message back saying "you're not mine either"!!
So now wondering what was the point of him sending a message in the first place
its a childlike response to say "I'm not hurt..but I can hurt u""
Love it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its nothing to do with politeness or not been rude, do you ring everytakeaway that drops a menu through your door saying no thanks, do you respond to every bit of junkmail, it simply comes down to choice, you choose to reply or you choose not to, its nothing to do with manners even the site rules tell you that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try and reply to all messages and always use this reply if they are not for me, but even this offends most folks so I'm going to stop replying to all and sundry and just delete as even replying with this simple message gets some people's backs up
Rant over have a fab Friday  "
At least you sending a message back which is nice most just delete /block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On our profile we have preferences, if we get a message from someones who is way outside these then we don't see why we should bother to reply if they can't be bothered to respect our preferences / read our profile properly.
Other than that we do try to send a polite no thanks if they're not for us, but mostly, in our experience, it's couples not single guys who get the hump and send snotty replies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the above... Its nice to get a reponse (even a no) and it might just let the person know not to keep bothering you..
Sensible answer !!! Doctor !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always reply thx but no thx.. And 99% of time get a polite thank you and good luck MSG back... But have had couple go on askin why I don't want to MSG them then I block em |
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"I try and reply to all messages and always use this reply if they are not for me, but even this offends most folks so I'm going to stop replying to all and sundry and just delete as even replying with this simple message gets some people's backs up
Rant over have a fab Friday "
Perfectly reasonable if you get unreasonable responses  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
My initial numpty filter makes sure I only respond to messages from those who've at least read the first coupla paragraphs of my profile, so possibly that knocks out those who might be abusive with a thanks but no thanks. I've only ever had 1 (slightly) off response and that was when I thought the guy was drop dead gorgeous (shallow - moi???) so sent back a response saying if he read my profile and messaged again I'd respond properly and he replied back that he didn't want to read War & Peace to get a shag - good job as I then blocked him! Most often I get a thanks for replying which is the end of the conversation and I make a private note that I've said I'm not interested in case they try again. Those who don't send me a joke as requested in my profile: do not pass GO and go straight to block  |
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Anyone who appears to meet what I'm looking for will get a response, even if it's a no thanks.
I read the profile before the message, if they don't meet what I'm looking for I don't answer, and I could really give a fuck at their sense of entitlement as my profile clearly states, if you don't meet what I'm looking for I won't reply and I wish them well.
I don't understand why people, here for their own hedonistic pleasure, spend time worrying about people they have no intention of meeting, who have no respect for their needs.
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"see this is the problem I have found too
You send a polite no thanks and you get nasty come backs from guys who cant accept a polite no thanks, so you stop sending them and men call women ignorant and stuck up because we cant even send a simple no thanks!
Its hard to know what to do for the best
I just stopped mailing guys I had no interest in as I got sick of the abuse
A polite no thanks is good,at least you know where you stand.It's worse when you hear nothing.Everyone has there own types and its nice for the female to at least reply."
Like most I stopped replying due to the abuse I would receive. It may look rude in some guys eyes but that's life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose it's better than nothingnand Let's one know what the situation is: Rejection yet again (sigh).
I usually send back thanking for polite reply and vainly signing off with “you know where I am if ever…”
Can a message read but not deleted or replied to at all ever mean one is still in with a chance?
Is that not in my case I hear you say?
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose it's better than nothingnand Let's one know what the situation is: Rejection yet again (sigh).
I usually send back thanking for polite reply and vainly signing off with “you know where I am if ever…”
Can a message read but not deleted or replied to at all ever mean one is still in with a chance?
Is that not in my case I hear you say?
xx
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's never an obligation to reply!
But if you do and subsequently get abuse - report and block! In a way morons like this do everyone a favour as if a pattern develops they are both likely to be removed from the site by admin and crop up in conversations between site friends and get a bad reputation! Yes - people talk!!
Personally I'll reply if they meet the criteria on my profile and its just a case of no interest or attraction on my part.
Chancers, cut and pasters and one line messages? Delete, and possibly block! |
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"we have always used very much the same thing and 99.9% have always had a polite message saying thanks for coming back to us. Keep using the same thing as remember there are people at the other end ,which some forget on here.
manners cost nothing"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who has the time to reply to 50+ messages a day?
We don't really see this as a place to spend all day in chat rooms getting to know 100's of people.
We just need a few guys who don't mind mmf, and the ones we like we message and get round.
Don't see why people can't deal with it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Total off topic, they look like an awesome pair of dm's in your profile pic!
They are wellies
Oh the disappointment!  "
I do have purple DM will take a pic just for you |
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"its nothing to do with politeness or not been rude, do you ring everytakeaway that drops a menu through your door saying no thanks, do you respond to every bit of junkmail, it simply comes down to choice, you choose to reply or you choose not to, its nothing to do with manners even the site rules tell you that."
I always like the 'junk mail' analogy.
Junk mail is usually unsolicited but someone who fits your criteria who takes the time to contact you surely cannot be considered junk mail? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand some people get 100's of messages. So I don't expect a reply. Although it is nice when someone takes the time. Nobody has been rude to me yet. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I understand some people get 100's of messages. So I don't expect a reply. Although it is nice when someone takes the time. Nobody has been rude to me yet. "
I am with you on that one |
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"its nothing to do with politeness or not been rude, do you ring everytakeaway that drops a menu through your door saying no thanks, do you respond to every bit of junkmail, it simply comes down to choice, you choose to reply or you choose not to, its nothing to do with manners even the site rules tell you that.
I always like the 'junk mail' analogy.
Junk mail is usually unsolicited but someone who fits your criteria who takes the time to contact you surely cannot be considered junk mail?"
The trouble being that some guys truly believe in their head that they fit your criteria.....when they clearly do not and are suffering from delusional behaviour syndrome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lady sent me the "I'm sorry but your not my type " message, but added at the end that it wouldn't do no harm trying to talk her round. We have become great friends since because of the banter. I make a point of not being a Dick because of rejection , after all not everybody is a persons cup of tea, the people who get abusive just need to get over themselves imho"
Can't remember who said it the other day - probably one of the senior forumites - but it struck a chord with Lola and me:
Swinging is so much more than the sex side of things.
The conversation, camaraderie and feeling a part of an alternate and quite naughty group of individuals does a lot for us. It's good to know you feel the same.
Like you say, if you don't quite fit with a person, fine, no need to be a teat about it! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A lady sent me the "I'm sorry but your not my type " message, but added at the end that it wouldn't do no harm trying to talk her round. We have become great friends since because of the banter. I make a point of not being a Dick because of rejection , after all not everybody is a persons cup of tea, the people who get abusive just need to get over themselves imho
Can't remember who said it the other day - probably one of the senior forumites - but it struck a chord with Lola and me:
Swinging is so much more than the sex side of things.
The conversation, camaraderie and feeling a part of an alternate and quite naughty group of individuals does a lot for us. It's good to know you feel the same.
Like you say, if you don't quite fit with a person, fine, no need to be a teat about it!"
Very much with you on that
PS What is a senior forum member ? Never heard of that before? Or is it the elderly on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lady sent me the "I'm sorry but your not my type " message, but added at the end that it wouldn't do no harm trying to talk her round. We have become great friends since because of the banter. I make a point of not being a Dick because of rejection , after all not everybody is a persons cup of tea, the people who get abusive just need to get over themselves imho
Can't remember who said it the other day - probably one of the senior forumites - but it struck a chord with Lola and me:
Swinging is so much more than the sex side of things.
The conversation, camaraderie and feeling a part of an alternate and quite naughty group of individuals does a lot for us. It's good to know you feel the same.
Like you say, if you don't quite fit with a person, fine, no need to be a teat about it!Very much with you on that
PS What is a senior forum member ? Never heard of that before? Or is it the elderly on here "
It's a fair question. From our POV it's people who post prolifically and well.
You are one! The artist formerly known as Bussy is another. Crystalweels and Obi are always good value too.
We're still just new kids. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
|
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"I try and reply to all messages and always use this reply if they are not for me, but even this offends most folks so I'm going to stop replying to all and sundry and just delete as even replying with this simple message gets some people's backs up
Rant over have a fab Friday "
Your topic keeps reminding me of 'Hello' by Lionel Rich-Tea...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No don't, because to most its nice to even get that message. I'd appreciate it more, a little politeness does no one any harm even if they can't give that respect back x"
from experience more people get arsing about getting a no thanks than those who appriciate it..
in my diplomatic world th emajority wins |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
"
even the FAQ say replying has nothing to do with being rude or manners.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We block after sending a no thanks - stops us wasting theirs/our time again and prevents any unpleasantness."
and this being the basis of the why do i get blocked threads |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I try and reply to all messages and always use this reply if they are not for me, but even this offends most folks so I'm going to stop replying to all and sundry and just delete as even replying with this simple message gets some people's backs up
Rant over have a fab Friday
Your topic keeps reminding me of 'Hello' by Lionel Rich-Tea......"
Ha ha least I never said it to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I for one appreciate a " thank you but no" message.. Those who just delete or block without reading are just rude, whatever anyone says. Has courtesy vanished altogether ?"
how do you know they block without reading?
only rude in your eyes.. which quite simply just gives me an impression of you that isnt wonderful.. oh well each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
even the FAQ say replying has nothing to do with being rude or manners.."
in my eyes it's both bad manners and rude. especially as it wasnt an unpleasant message. |
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"I for one appreciate a " thank you but no" message.. Those who just delete or block without reading are just rude, whatever anyone says. Has courtesy vanished altogether ?
how do you know they block without reading?
only rude in your eyes.. which quite simply just gives me an impression of you that isnt wonderful.. oh well each to their own"
The sense of entitlement brigade!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I for one appreciate a " thank you but no" message.. Those who just delete or block without reading are just rude, whatever anyone says. Has courtesy vanished altogether ?
how do you know they block without reading?
only rude in your eyes.. which quite simply just gives me an impression of you that isnt wonderful.. oh well each to their own
The sense of entitlement brigade! "
well i didnt wanna be the one to say it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
even the FAQ say replying has nothing to do with being rude or manners..
in my eyes it's both bad manners and rude. especially as it wasnt an unpleasant message. "
and as i have said that says alot about you in my eyes which isnt great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny how conservative some people are on here. The whole idea of being on a website is for the detached unsentimentality of talking to people. Short of personal insults, just accept that you're not gods gift to everyone and the best you can hope for is to be ignored or deleted. If manners and decorum mean so much, go back to meeting people face to face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
even the FAQ say replying has nothing to do with being rude or manners..
in my eyes it's both bad manners and rude. especially as it wasnt an unpleasant message.
and as i have said that says alot about you in my eyes which isnt great "
ditto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The sense of entitlement brigade! "
The sense of entitlement brigade exists in many places.
Some think they are entitled to polite messages in the first place.
Some think they are entitled to good manners and to be treated with respect.
Some think they are entitled to face pictures when they have none.
Some think they are entitled to a fuck
Some think they are entitled to treat others how they see fit based upon their mood or whim and dare not expect to be called out upon it.
--
Pointing out that someone feels they have a sense of entitlement - almost everyone on here has one in some form or another.
Too many people what to play the game with conflicting rule-sets! If someone has a sense of something they feel they should be entitled to (rightly or wrongly) then be prepared for others to feel entitled too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty it's not often I get abuse, though I have had abuse from a guy I had either not spoken to or not in a long time. Totally out of the blue.
I usually send a reply like that and get a thanks, same to you back.
What I do tend to block and not reply to though are messages with cock pics in or graphic your doing this and im doing that messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The sense of entitlement brigade!
The sense of entitlement brigade exists in many places.
Some think they are entitled to polite messages in the first place.
Some think they are entitled to good manners and to be treated with respect.
Some think they are entitled to face pictures when they have none.
Some think they are entitled to a fuck
Some think they are entitled to treat others how they see fit based upon their mood or whim and dare not expect to be called out upon it.
--
Pointing out that someone feels they have a sense of entitlement - almost everyone on here has one in some form or another.
Too many people what to play the game with conflicting rule-sets! If someone has a sense of something they feel they should be entitled to (rightly or wrongly) then be prepared for others to feel entitled too!"
it has nothing to do with entitlement. it's about common courtesy and manners. I don't expect anything from anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came across a profile a woman earlier this evening and her status update simply said . "manners cost nothing" and me being me sent her a message to say hi as u do. her profile said she was looking for very similar things to what I'm looking for so I expected a reply even if it was a thanx but no thanx. instead it was deleted and blocked.
so as u can imagine I am a bit miffed
even the FAQ say replying has nothing to do with being rude or manners..
in my eyes it's both bad manners and rude. especially as it wasnt an unpleasant message.
and as i have said that says alot about you in my eyes which isnt great
ditto"
Exactly.. Its a great way of discovering your not compatable |
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By *ikkiBWoman
over a year ago
Falkirk |
Yeah you cant really win on here when it comes to replying. You delete the message and you get some giving abuse that your ignorant, rude etc so I started writing a simple sorry not interested message as a reply and I get called immature and rude and "probably a munter" seems to be a common line. I just report the ones who get abusive and fab seems to remove them.
or my latest thing, I check the pics they send and if they are fake I reply and say sorry I only deal with real people... its amazing the responses you get when you catch them out being fake lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The sense of entitlement brigade!
The sense of entitlement brigade exists in many places.
Some think they are entitled to polite messages in the first place.
Some think they are entitled to good manners and to be treated with respect.
Some think they are entitled to face pictures when they have none.
Some think they are entitled to a fuck
Some think they are entitled to treat others how they see fit based upon their mood or whim and dare not expect to be called out upon it.
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Pointing out that someone feels they have a sense of entitlement - almost everyone on here has one in some form or another.
Too many people what to play the game with conflicting rule-sets! If someone has a sense of something they feel they should be entitled to (rightly or wrongly) then be prepared for others to feel entitled too!
it has nothing to do with entitlement. it's about common courtesy and manners. I don't expect anything from anyone. "
Humm.. You don't expect anything except common curtosey and manners... Oh hold on.. You do expect something then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The sense of entitlement brigade!
The sense of entitlement brigade exists in many places.
Some think they are entitled to polite messages in the first place.
Some think they are entitled to good manners and to be treated with respect.
Some think they are entitled to face pictures when they have none.
Some think they are entitled to a fuck
Some think they are entitled to treat others how they see fit based upon their mood or whim and dare not expect to be called out upon it.
--
Pointing out that someone feels they have a sense of entitlement - almost everyone on here has one in some form or another.
Too many people what to play the game with conflicting rule-sets! If someone has a sense of something they feel they should be entitled to (rightly or wrongly) then be prepared for others to feel entitled too!
it has nothing to do with entitlement. it's about common courtesy and manners. I don't expect anything from anyone. "
Some would view your wish for manners and courtesy as an entitlement though.
I should point out, I'm playing a little devil's advocate here. Because in essence, a reply to a message (even of no thanks) is viewed by some as a common courtesy, whilst for others its viewed as nothing that you are entitled to. Its a dichotomy and its never going to be resolved!
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