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I AM A SEXUAL ALPHA (not!!)
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I’m the guy sitting at home minding his own business when someone off camera shouts “I like you!” And I look behind me (even though I’m at home alone) because they must mean someone else.
And then I nervously flirt by telling jokes until it gets to 11.55 and I know I have to make my move. So I steel myself and clumsily lean in for a kiss just as they reach for their drink. But they realise, take pity on me and lean in for a second go.
Then we have the best alpha sex ever invented.
Then I thank them, hand over their doggy bag, knock over a pot plant, apologise, tread on the dog, apologise, say something meant to be charming and funny but sounds weird and stalkerish and leave.
I’m well alpha innit. |
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"I’m the guy sitting at home minding his own business when someone off camera shouts “I like you!” And I look behind me (even though I’m at home alone) because they must mean someone else.
And then I nervously flirt by telling jokes until it gets to 11.55 and I know I have to make my move. So I steel myself and clumsily lean in for a kiss just as they reach for their drink. But they realise, take pity on me and lean in for a second go.
Then we have the best alpha sex ever invented.
Then I thank them, hand over their doggy bag, knock over a pot plant, apologise, tread on the dog, apologise, say something meant to be charming and funny but sounds weird and stalkerish and leave.
I’m well alpha innit."
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By (user no longer on site) 36 weeks ago
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I'm trying to be a decent human being but have a whore that resides within me, she has me get all dolled up and do all kinds of sexually explicit acts...!
She's a real task Master.
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"I’m a sexual rollercoaster set up in your town square; bumpy, disappointing, expensive and doesn’t last nearly long enough "
Now singing RHCP love rollercoaster. Not saying you're any of those things listed btw. |
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"I’m a sexual rollercoaster set up in your town square; bumpy, disappointing, expensive and doesn’t last nearly long enough
Now singing RHCP love rollercoaster. Not saying you're any of those things listed btw. "
Move it over dad cause I'm a double-dipper!
Upside down on the zip-zip-zipper! |
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"I’m a sexual rollercoaster set up in your town square; bumpy, disappointing, expensive and doesn’t last nearly long enough
Now singing RHCP love rollercoaster. Not saying you're any of those things listed btw. "
Say what? |
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"I’m a sexual rollercoaster set up in your town square; bumpy, disappointing, expensive and doesn’t last nearly long enough
Now singing RHCP love rollercoaster. Not saying you're any of those things listed btw.
Say what? "
As in I'm not agreeing with what you said, just because of the earworm. |
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