FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What’s the definition of FWB?
What’s the definition of FWB?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ottiesolofun OP Woman 37 weeks ago
Glasgow - Edinburgh - Manchester - London |
I see many people saying that they are looking for ‘Friend With Benefits’ and I am wondering whether that means the same thing to everyone? Or is it open to opinion? What does it mean to you?
Thank You. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To me it's about when you are with said person then your entire focus is on them for whatever time you are together, enjoying the company as well as the sex stuff ..
And actually knowing them as a person..
I don't do exclusivity but if I'm with a particular person they know this already and friendship always comes first   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend  "
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy. 
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy.
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex. "
Mash and Gravy .. I'm actually jealous now  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oo..Woman 37 weeks ago
Boo's World |
For me it is a really good connection and friendship with someone.
The one where you can go out for drinks,dinner,watch films,go for walks,chill out together,weekends away and be 100% you with them.
You can talk about anything together and learn different views from either side, nothing is kept hidden.
But, with the added bonus of being really attracted to them in all ways. Having a connection and open communication with them so the sex is mind blowing, they know how to turn you on,your mind on and your body. The orgasms that follow will be mind blowing and never ending.
That to me is the perfect version  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy.
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex.
Mash and Gravy .. I'm actually jealous now "
It’s the simple things in life right?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy.
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex.
Mash and Gravy .. I'm actually jealous now
It’s the simple things in life right? "
Proper friendship right there  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy.
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex. "
Gravy is thought to be an aphrodisiac in some parts of the north  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
To me it’s someone who I can do things with like go walks with go for a meal with or catch a movie
Giggle the night away go out on the town with
With extra benefits
Be a wing person for the night
We may go out start the night together and such with some hanky panky before
But maybe someone out catches they eye or mine they aren’t going to get hung up if they or I go home with the person
I would expect them to call me with the details in the morning
Or invite me along for a 3 some or more sum if we both pull
Someone who I can talk to about day to day stuff but no hang ups about the relationship or in less they want to sit down and have that talk about a open one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not 100% but I have a blue light card if anyone is looking for a new friend
One of my FWBs used her blue light card and took me to Toby carvery on Monday and we had a good ole catch up over some mash and gravy.
That’s the kind of friendship I need! With added extra of sex.
Gravy is thought to be an aphrodisiac in some parts of the north "
Is it not everywhere? Well then, this has been educational |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
People who are friends first, then add recreational sex into their friendship. The key is that you would still be friends even if you didn’t do the sex bit.
Doesn’t happen here often, but when it does it’s lovely. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"People who are friends first, then add recreational sex into their friendship. The key is that you would still be friends even if you didn’t do the sex bit.
Doesn’t happen here often, but when it does it’s lovely."
You are not wrong. My experience., they’re either one or the other. And that’s why I think a lot of people are looking for fuck buddies more than friends with benefits. ot they don’t mind being friends with you because my friend zone is becoming rather full. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Friendship with sex being a significant part of it. It varies from person to person, sometimes its more of a friendships based on various activities and occasional sex, sometimes its "friends who need someone they can call when they want to have sex", so closer to NSA, but being a more frequent occurence where partners make an effort to develop their sexual relationship. Best to ask, discuss your expectations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Yep, a friend and that added attraction/ lust.
I had one years ago and we both got into relationships and moved on which meant our friendship fizzled out. I do miss her though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
A friend (either close or not, depending on how the vibe is) to hang out and socialise with, and then be naughty whenever we both fancy it.
Some use it differently, but I feel that's what it always meant to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ony MannMan 37 weeks ago
New York City New York USA |
FWB
For me it's someone I do more than have sex with. I can be open with, do things together and go to bed.
Over the years I've had a few. Some I knew their family, some I have 1 on 1, some I have taken to clubs.
I have always been honest with them, love the sex, enjoy your company but looking for more.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Someone I meet for more than just sex.
A friend first and foremost and one I can be completely open and naked with even fully dressed.
A friendship with benefits and one of those benefits is the friendship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
Someone who you can have great sex with but also talk utter crap to anytime and hang out with with no pressure. Totally understanding each other. I’ve had fuck buddies but would prefer what I’ve just described. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sounds like a lot of people are defining fwb super closely to how lots of other people define normal relationships. What's the difference?"
To me the difference is they don’t get involved in my normal life. I like the bubble analogy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship."
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels. "
Yep. Sometimes you have to make that very conscious and rational decision to keep at an arm’s length emotionally….
Though I have discovered I have unusually short arms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels. "
I understand that and agree that all human interactions are relationships. The old fashioned bit is that *to me* calling a relationship FWB absolves one or both from responsibilities to the others feelings. That's great if both agree and understand that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship."
Nope.
I can easily have that type of friendship with someone, a kind of hippy vibe to it. Just enjoying the sex for the thrill.
But a relationship is where she is my world and the one girl in my head ALL the time. Other are in my head for those wonderful short moments.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
Nope.
I can easily have that type of friendship with someone, a kind of hippy vibe to it. Just enjoying the sex for the thrill.
But a relationship is where she is my world and the one girl in my head ALL the time. Other are in my head for those wonderful short moments. "
Casual sex with someone you like? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels.
I understand that and agree that all human interactions are relationships. The old fashioned bit is that *to me* calling a relationship FWB absolves one or both from responsibilities to the others feelings. That's great if both agree and understand that. "
I see it different. Feelings can be involved. To me, it’s you won’t be meeting my kids or coming for Sunday dinner at my mum and dads or coming to my house but I love doing stuff with you when we can and having great sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like a FB but you have to go shopping with them and shit.
No wait.
Like a FB but you can go with them for a drink and cinema and stuff until they find someone better."
For me it has that kind of 'you'll do' feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Yep. Sometimes you have to make that very conscious and rational decision to keep at an arm’s length emotionally….
Though I have discovered I have unusually short arms. "
Haha, same here and for most of the people I've been FWB with. The lines can get blurred very easily, but the friendship always comes first (us second lol).
If it gets skewed then it's best to talk about it. Sadly, not everyone talks. I've had a few not speak up, then go weird lol.
But at least if it turns into more, you've spent time together already and hopefully know each other more intimately than if you were just dating. Cuts out a lot of expectations, really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels.
I understand that and agree that all human interactions are relationships. The old fashioned bit is that *to me* calling a relationship FWB absolves one or both from responsibilities to the others feelings. That's great if both agree and understand that.
I see it different. Feelings can be involved. To me, it’s you won’t be meeting my kids or coming for Sunday dinner at my mum and dads or coming to my house but I love doing stuff with you when we can and having great sex "
It's whatever the individuals agree on really then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
Nope.
I can easily have that type of friendship with someone, a kind of hippy vibe to it. Just enjoying the sex for the thrill.
But a relationship is where she is my world and the one girl in my head ALL the time. Other are in my head for those wonderful short moments.
Casual sex with someone you like? "
Yes. Yes, but a little more than casual, which sounds more like what I say is a fuck buddy.
A hook up to me is casual sex with someone I fancy. .. I wouldn’t need to get to know them.
A Fwb is someone I actually care and is interested in how they are getting along. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"The old fashioned bit is that *to me* calling a relationship FWB absolves one or both from responsibilities to the others feelings. That's great if both agree and understand that. "
That's too casual for my liking and doesn't put any emphasis on the friend part of the equation, if you're not taking feelings into consideration. That isn't FWB. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Pretty much what I have apart from the SODDING DISTANCE….
And opposing rosters lol.
*still can’t do the crying emoji*
:’(
Me neither... Bloody Emojis
Can do it with copy paste… sometimes "
I can’t do it either! Thought it was just me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a non-native English speaker, and coming from a culture where we are very liberal with the L word (LOVE!) I am genuinely curious…
What is the difference between “care” and “love”?
If someone says “I care a lot about you” or “you mean a lot to me” … what does it mean, exactly?
In Spanish we just use “te quiero” and we’re done with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"Pretty much what I have apart from the SODDING DISTANCE….
And opposing rosters lol.
*still can’t do the crying emoji*
:’(
Me neither... Bloody Emojis
Can do it with copy paste… sometimes
I can’t do it either! Thought it was just me"
I have to delete this emoji after my phone auto corrects it with everything I post
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like a FB but you have to go shopping with them and shit.
No wait.
Like a FB but you can go with them for a drink and cinema and stuff until they find someone better.
For me it has that kind of 'you'll do' feel."
That's an FB in my eyes. Sex with no strings, works for both parties. FWB is a sliding scale ranging from what Nora ^ said to more and maybe just a bit more than an FB. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have a couple of FWB’s
To us they are friends in and out of the bedroom. We can spend a weekend/evening with them and chill out, play, go out, play, watch a film, etc.
They are aware of us playing with others and we know if they are - as long as our time with them is all about us, it’s fine if they want to explore other avenues.
It’s relaxed and easy going - that’s our preferred choice.
K
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship."
The difference is commitment.
So for example, you are expected to take your relationship to your friends wedding or birthday party, but not commited to take your FwB. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"It's a friend you have sex with. Call me old fashioned but to me that's a relationship.
A relationship requires a deeper type of love and commitment. FWB doesn't use the same mindset. You keep a certain amount of distance mentally, to keep it within the boundaries of friendship.
To be (slightly) pedantic, all friendships and interactions are relationships really. They just have different levels.
I understand that and agree that all human interactions are relationships. The old fashioned bit is that *to me* calling a relationship FWB absolves one or both from responsibilities to the others feelings. That's great if both agree and understand that.
I see it different. Feelings can be involved. To me, it’s you won’t be meeting my kids or coming for Sunday dinner at my mum and dads or coming to my house but I love doing stuff with you when we can and having great sex "
Totally this. It's a defined boundary for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"As a non-native English speaker, and coming from a culture where we are very liberal with the L word (LOVE!) I am genuinely curious…
What is the difference between “care” and “love”?
If someone says “I care a lot about you” or “you mean a lot to me” … what does it mean, exactly?
In Spanish we just use “te quiero” and we’re done with it. "
Love generally means either "familial love" or "romantic love", and the difference is whether or not you're related, essentially.
Telling someone you're not related to that you love them is generally taken to mean romantically. Especially if they're of the opposite gender. Saying it to two people, in our monogamous society, is basically cheating.
We have ridiculous loopholes such as "I love you bro", which does not literally mean "I am adopting you as a brother for the length of this sentence so I can express familial love for you" but it's weird that such a sentence can't end a word early, right. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
A friend you fuck with an agreement in place you don't fall for each other romantically.
Can be cancelled at any moment.
Typically the only person I would play without protection with.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For a TS woman like me, I have plenty of guys who are more than Fuck Buddies, they really are Friends!-wB. However we never evolve into a relationship, simply because they'll never introduce me to their family. Yes, the dirty-little-secret world in which we inhabit.
So I know the FwB boundaries well. To me, there is yet another zone between FwB and full relationship, what I call a FR-friend, First Refusal.
So the weekend is coming up and a shag would like to meet. I'm kinda torn between him or my usual unplanned weekends with my FR. FR tells me he can spend time with his many other shags, so we don't meet - but we've given each other the First Refusal.
No obligation expected in a relationship and everyone is happy.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ottiesolofun OP Woman 37 weeks ago
Glasgow - Edinburgh - Manchester - London |
"It sounds like a lot of people are defining fwb super closely to how lots of other people define normal relationships. What's the difference?"
Interesting - I’m reading the replies and thinking the same.
I wonder if anyone here is FWB with someone who is in a relationship…maybe they can give another perspective? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sounds like a lot of people are defining fwb super closely to how lots of other people define normal relationships. What's the difference?
Interesting - I’m reading the replies and thinking the same.
I wonder if anyone here is FWB with someone who is in a relationship…maybe they can give another perspective? "
The difference is you're not committed to each other, and depending on boundaries, free to see other people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Someone I can chat to about anything and everything, in-between meeting up for sex.
They don't necessarily have to be around to go out and do stuff with. But that would be an added bonus."
This is the perfect definition |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As a non-native English speaker, and coming from a culture where we are very liberal with the L word (LOVE!) I am genuinely curious…
What is the difference between “care” and “love”?
If someone says “I care a lot about you” or “you mean a lot to me” … what does it mean, exactly?
In Spanish we just use “te quiero” and we’re done with it. "
I think it's more about being "in" love with the other person. Most Brits are scared to say it.
I came from a family where it's never said, I've chosen not to repeat that and always tell my son I love him
I also use it much more freely with friends, of both sexes. I can love someone but not be romantically involved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sounds like a lot of people are defining fwb super closely to how lots of other people define normal relationships. What's the difference?"
To me they are a relationship. But so is a casual one night stand.
That’s the beauty of being ethically non-monogamous - everyone can be a friend and a partner and a sex buddy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It sounds like a lot of people are defining fwb super closely to how lots of other people define normal relationships. What's the difference?
Interesting - I’m reading the replies and thinking the same.
I wonder if anyone here is FWB with someone who is in a relationship…maybe they can give another perspective? "
I have sex with some friends who are also in other relationships.
Is that a different perspective? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A FWB situationship to me is someone I can do other stuff with apart from just sex like going out for meals, cinema etc etc. Just like you would with your regular friends who you don't have sexy shenanigans with x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"As a non-native English speaker, and coming from a culture where we are very liberal with the L word (LOVE!) I am genuinely curious…
What is the difference between “care” and “love”?
If someone says “I care a lot about you” or “you mean a lot to me” … what does it mean, exactly?
In Spanish we just use “te quiero” and we’re done with it. "
A bit like the difference between "l love you" said by your mum and your lover. Your friend will care, your lover will love. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
|
"We’re FWB’s - that’s what one of the two says when they don’t want to commit to a relationship! 
Or both don’t. In my case "
I tell nosey people that "she's using me for sex only" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
