Long story short I'm both too.
By the same person and on the same person. I should have just ended it when I found him on here, but I wanted to hurt him how he'd hurt me. Years on I realise it was pretty childish of me. |
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I've never cheated and never will, I'd rather end the relationship than break someone's trust. I've been cheated on twice before, once I think I chose to ignore it, not sure why. Second time, I think it was a relief as I could use it as an excuse for ending a relationship that I was becoming unhappy in. The fact that I wasn't bothered by his cheating told me it was definitely over. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I’ve cheated. It’s not something I ever planned or intended on happening, nor, with hindsight is it something to be proud of, but life sometimes puts you in positions that you never envisaged and don’t know how to deal with.
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Been cheated on - I "let myself go" after having a baby so he went and poked a bint he'd known since he was tiny. 11 years on they're still together and I'm still single. Betrayal is wicked.
I'd never cheat. I have ended relationships because I wanted the grass. Except the grass was never greener |
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I've never cheated & I honestly don't think I ever could.
I've not been cheated on, that I know of, but I've been involved who someone who was a serial cheat and had told me he was single,no kids.
I got bombarded with calls one morning, his angry partner who found my texts in his phone. That's why I choose not to knowingly meet anyone who is here on the sly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I was cheated on a very long time ago, it led to the end of my marriage. The experience changed my views on relationships and sex drastically. I used to believe in monogamy and the family unit. My views now are the complete opposite, free love, open relationships and casual sex. But I abhor cheaters, abusing someone’s trust is unconscionable. |
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I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever had bar 1.
I have cheated once I'd never do it again, it's not in me to hurt another human like that, I told him, I had so much guilt.
I won't facilitate anyone cheating this is supposed to be fun not cause hurt.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I have and it was an awful thing to do. In my defence I was young, had a lot going on in my life and the relationship was toxic.
I would never do it again. |
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I've cheated and been cheated on. That's fine, it is what it is.
My perturbation about meeting cheats accidentally mostly stems from the years and years of pain I've faced trying to be accepted for the non-monogamous person that I am in society. If everyone who wants to fuck more than one person were more honest and open about it, my journey, and my future, would not be as difficult.
Facing judgement about my non-monogamous lifestyle from people who cheat is one of the most rage-inducing things I experience. |
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I’ve been cheated on. I view it as a control mechanism used by the cheater and couple it with coercive behaviour. The rationale behind this is that the lies the cheater is telling are being used to control or maintain the status quo with the partner they are lying too, to satisfy their own wants. It’s borderline narcissistic, as the cheater feels their desires and wants trump giving their partner the information to make informed choice on whether they want to continue their relationship, indicating the cheater is more “important” than anyone else.
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Definitely cheated on in my first marriage, and as much as he denies it all the signs were there in my second marriage. It's utterly soul destroying and I would rather end a relationship than make a partner feel the way I did.
I also take the view that if I'm prepared to cheat on a partner then the commitment is no longer there for me, so it's time to move on from the relationship. |
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I cheated when I was 17. I was disgusted with myself. I was more upset than my girlfriend was (don't get me wrong, she was devastated but, even she acknowledged that it was clear it hurt me more)
I swore I'd never cheat again and 23 years later, I've stayed true to that.
I've been cheated on a few times too. It's fucking terrible.
My experience of cheating, and being cheated on had lead me to the conclusion that, people who cheat more than once in their life, and people who do it frequently and are proud of it, are the absolute scum of the Earth. I don't care about your reasons (excuses) you're bad people. If you can accept that, fine. You are bad people though. |
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Ailsa cheated on me when we were young. Some years later I had an emotional affair, which never turned physical. We discovered that we didn’t mind the connection to others, but the deceit and lack of trust was destructive. We are much stronger now because of this, and we have total honesty with each other. |
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"Ailsa cheated on me when we were young. Some years later I had an emotional affair, which never turned physical. We discovered that we didn’t mind the connection to others, but the deceit and lack of trust was destructive. We are much stronger now because of this, and we have total honesty with each other. "
It's great to hear about people communicating about it and things becoming better.
Pleased it all worked out for you guys.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I have and it was an awful thing to do. In my defence I was young, had a lot going on in my life and the relationship was toxic.
I would never do it again. "
If you were in a toxic relationship then it’s understandable ,isn’t it? |
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By *TG3Man 38 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
"
exactly they probably have been in that position but are so pig headed they can't admit to it  |
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"Ailsa cheated on me when we were young. Some years later I had an emotional affair, which never turned physical. We discovered that we didn’t mind the connection to others, but the deceit and lack of trust was destructive. We are much stronger now because of this, and we have total honesty with each other.
It's great to hear about people communicating about it and things becoming better.
Pleased it all worked out for you guys.
Mrs "
It was many many years ago, and we’ve been through far worse since. But it’s also how you discover the nature and depth of the love that exists between you. If it doesn’t break you, it makes you stronger. Thank you for your kind words Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"Ailsa cheated on me when we were young. Some years later I had an emotional affair, which never turned physical. We discovered that we didn’t mind the connection to others, but the deceit and lack of trust was destructive. We are much stronger now because of this, and we have total honesty with each other.
It's great to hear about people communicating about it and things becoming better.
Pleased it all worked out for you guys.
Mrs
It was many many years ago, and we’ve been through far worse since. But it’s also how you discover the nature and depth of the love that exists between you. If it doesn’t break you, it makes you stronger. Thank you for your kind words Xx"
 |
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"I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
"
So do you swing with your wife now? |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I have and it was an awful thing to do. In my defence I was young, had a lot going on in my life and the relationship was toxic.
I would never do it again.
If you were in a toxic relationship then it’s understandable ,isn’t it?"
If someone had asked me that at the time, I would have said yes. They hurt me and it was my way of getting them back for everything they did. Now I realise how immature it was and I should have just left but I didn’t have the guts to do it.
I’m nothing like the person I was back then. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
|
"I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
So do you swing with your wife now? "
No my wife went through the change and has refused a sexual relationship for many years
Friends tell her to try HRT and other things but she flatly refuses
I don’t want an affair at all
I don’t want out of this relationship, but the loss of a sexual aspect in my marriage is very upsetting and sexually frustrating
I cannot afford a second divorce even if I considered one, which I don’t want
I’m on here to see if there is the option of simply sexual contacts but I find that there isn’t
I like to browse the site and comment on forums
I find it very interesting to see how different people judge others against their own moral standards
To me I couldn’t sexually share my wife with others
She thinks all swingers are dirty so and so’s.
We all have our views and our standards and cheating on this site seems to be the big no
So a man or woman isn’t cheating provided their partner knows or is joining in
With Swinginging couples who is to say how many also swing without their swinging partners knowledge
Is that cheating also
By the standards of wedding vows it all certainly is cheating
I suppose I want my cake and eat it as I want a relationship but I also want the sexual side which I cannot have.
Is it wrong to want and need that?
Is it wrong to try and find a solution which isn’t divorce, cannot be swinging as my wife detests the idea, cannot be a fwb
I suppose that morally I am expected to just be satisfied with masturbation….but it’s not the same |
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"I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
So do you swing with your wife now?
No my wife went through the change and has refused a sexual relationship for many years
Friends tell her to try HRT and other things but she flatly refuses
I don’t want an affair at all
I don’t want out of this relationship, but the loss of a sexual aspect in my marriage is very upsetting and sexually frustrating
I cannot afford a second divorce even if I considered one, which I don’t want
I’m on here to see if there is the option of simply sexual contacts but I find that there isn’t
I like to browse the site and comment on forums
I find it very interesting to see how different people judge others against their own moral standards
To me I couldn’t sexually share my wife with others
She thinks all swingers are dirty so and so’s.
We all have our views and our standards and cheating on this site seems to be the big no
So a man or woman isn’t cheating provided their partner knows or is joining in
With Swinginging couples who is to say how many also swing without their swinging partners knowledge
Is that cheating also
By the standards of wedding vows it all certainly is cheating
I suppose I want my cake and eat it as I want a relationship but I also want the sexual side which I cannot have.
Is it wrong to want and need that?
Is it wrong to try and find a solution which isn’t divorce, cannot be swinging as my wife detests the idea, cannot be a fwb
I suppose that morally I am expected to just be satisfied with masturbation….but it’s not the same "
The right thing to do would be to talk to your wife, explore options, and decide if being on this site is within the binderies of your relationship.
If she says it’s not, then pay the £600 for a divorce and shag away to your hearts content. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I have and it was an awful thing to do. In my defence I was young, had a lot going on in my life and the relationship was toxic.
I would never do it again.
If you were in a toxic relationship then it’s understandable ,isn’t it?
If someone had asked me that at the time, I would have said yes. They hurt me and it was my way of getting them back for everything they did. Now I realise how immature it was and I should have just left but I didn’t have the guts to do it.
I’m nothing like the person I was back then. "
I think that it’s strong if you to say that you didn’t have the guts to do it and very honest.
Did you really do it to hurt them or to have affection for yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I cheated after many years in an affection and loveless marriage
Yes I did try the discussions, the arguments,the wooing, the weekends away all to no avail.
In the end I couldn’t stand being in that relationship and had my first and only affair with my now second wife.
Don’t get me wrong, I felt lousy in doing that and hurting my ex but I can sincerely say I did try so hard and she did understand how I felt but she simply didn’t change one bit
I’m sure that there will be some comments on here from people who frankly have never been in that position
I’m sure the ,”You should have left and not had the affair,” comment will come up
Life doesn’t always work that way
For me finding affection was the the point at which I had finally done with working my ass off to provide someone the lifestyle that they selfishly enjoyed
I recall my ex saying to me that she felt jealous that someone else would be having the meals and the holidays that should be hers
She didn’t say,”I love you,” or “Don’t go.”
So do you swing with your wife now?
No my wife went through the change and has refused a sexual relationship for many years
Friends tell her to try HRT and other things but she flatly refuses
I don’t want an affair at all
I don’t want out of this relationship, but the loss of a sexual aspect in my marriage is very upsetting and sexually frustrating
I cannot afford a second divorce even if I considered one, which I don’t want
I’m on here to see if there is the option of simply sexual contacts but I find that there isn’t
I like to browse the site and comment on forums
I find it very interesting to see how different people judge others against their own moral standards
To me I couldn’t sexually share my wife with others
She thinks all swingers are dirty so and so’s.
We all have our views and our standards and cheating on this site seems to be the big no
So a man or woman isn’t cheating provided their partner knows or is joining in
With Swinginging couples who is to say how many also swing without their swinging partners knowledge
Is that cheating also
By the standards of wedding vows it all certainly is cheating
I suppose I want my cake and eat it as I want a relationship but I also want the sexual side which I cannot have.
Is it wrong to want and need that?
Is it wrong to try and find a solution which isn’t divorce, cannot be swinging as my wife detests the idea, cannot be a fwb
I suppose that morally I am expected to just be satisfied with masturbation….but it’s not the same
The right thing to do would be to talk to your wife, explore options, and decide if being on this site is within the binderies of your relationship.
If she says it’s not, then pay the £600 for a divorce and shag away to your hearts content."
Thought I had answered that |
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"
The right thing to do would be to talk to your wife, explore options, and decide if being on this site is within the binderies of your relationship.
If she says it’s not, then pay the £600 for a divorce and shag away to your hearts content.
Thought I had answered that "
The thing is, most people who believe they are in monogamous relationships would consider it cheating if a man was on a site like this looking to fuck other people - which your profile indicates you are doing.
So you need to either talk to her and see if she considers it cheating for you to be here (and if she does you should delete your profile immediately) or pay your six hundred quid and move into a mates spare bedroom.
Seems pretty simple to me, tbh. |
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nice pics by the way! 
