It was cold, damp and still slightly dark when CRASH! Phil woke with a start, to the sound of plates and mugs shattering across his wooden kitchen floor.
"What the fuck!?" He exclaimed leaping from his bed and hurtling downstairs to find out what was causing the commotion.
He ran into the kitchen and was confronted by what looked like the result ofna tornado. Suddenly two blurry figures shot round the corner, nearly taking the 5"10' long haired adonis off his feet.
The blurs raced around for what seemed like hours until finally they stopped, looked at each other and started making inhuman hissing and yeowling noises.
Phils eyes began to focus... then he saw them...
Far from being two blur monsters, he found his home had been invaded by three strangers. One white, one black and one tabby. A fight had obviously broken out in the streets and made its way into his house. But where was his own calico defender? Well, she was still sleeping soundly on his bed. "OK guys, now you've broken my plates and 3 mugs, it's time to go."
The black beast turned its head and looked at Phil quizzically. "Yes, that's right!" Phil continued "you need to leave!" The white fur monster now stared at Phil. "And you! All three of you! Outside!"
Phil felt a sharp pain slice across the back of his neck, it was the tabby. He'd lost site of her while addressing the white and black ones, allowing the tabby to outflank him. He clutched at the wound as he turned to meet the tabby face to face, no sooner had he done this when he felt an other shot of pain in his left calf muscle, turning his head to see the black one dart back from.his attack, then the white one made its move, it left at Phil almost knocking him over and sunk its claws into his right thigh... Phil, recognising his life was at risk, and trying to think quickly shook the white cat off, sending it skidding towards the black cat. The two of them exploded into a ball of teeth, claws and flying fur. Phil turned, grabbed the tabby and threw it into the fray.
While the three battled it out, Phil dragged his bleeding body to the back door and flung it open, then pulled himself around to the far side of the brawl. "BANG!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs... the three home invades leapt into the air, startled and all made a swift retreat to the garden as Phil slammed the door shut behind them.
He slid to the floor, pumping blood from his neck, clay and thigh and... foot? Why is he bleeding from the foot? He lifted his lower limb to afford a better view... "Shit!" He exclaimed... a large piece of one of his mugs was sticking out of the sole. He slowing pulled the shard of porcelain from his foot, lent back against the door and passed put.
He awoke about 10 minutes later, foot stuck to the floor with blood and his beautiful calico kitty sat next to him lapping his blood from the ground... "hey kitty" Phil said weakly. The cat slowly looked up at him, winked one eye, then the other, then she blinked slowly and started to walk up Phils body towards his face...
The police arrived several hours later to find a kitchen full of broken plates and mugs, blood all over the floor and a very full but, content looking cat. When confronted by the police, the cat shot through the catflap and disappeared.
No traces of Phil were ever found and his cat was never apprehended. She is believed to be alive and hiding out on Dartmoor.
The End |
Bravo!