FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How am I struggling on here
How am I struggling on here
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"What am I doing wrong "
Struggling how? You mean to get a meet? I guess it all depends on what your expectations were when you joined, and what you want from FAB.
You're a good looking guy, with good pics on your profile but many single guys struggle on here
so you're far from alone.
I could trot out the usual advice of "get yourself to a club", but that may not be the way you want to go, plus it can be very daunting turning up on your own.
I would suggest trying to get to local socials if you can. Get yourself known.
Good luck x |
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By *TG3Man 45 weeks ago
Dorchester |
Your profile is your advert is it the best it can be? They read profiles and look at pics no info to read, so why pick you over the other 30 guys who've messaged them, their are many guys and few women, maybe try a club, good luck. Also when you message don't talk sex to a stranger.  |
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By *hrimper36Couple 45 weeks ago
Central France dept 36 |
"What am I doing wrong "
To be honest how can we know what you’re doing wrong or why you’re so-called struggling.
When you’re on a roof and whistle or shout oi oi at passing females do you get to have sex with each one you whistle or shout at!!!!!!
I very much doubt it.
The swinging life’s is about more than men just getting their cocks wet.
If it’s affecting you then step back and take a break.
Best of luck op.
T |
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By *erboiMan 45 weeks ago
Perth |
Its' hard isn't it?
I treat it like I imagine people who go fishing.... tons of patience and try to enjoy the experience of waiting.
It does pay off and I've found that you need to either chat for a while and get to know folk a bit or stike lucky and find someone who is just wanting to meet almost straightaway.
Key thing is to enjoy and want to meet socially. |
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"What am I doing wrong "
I don't know what your doing to answer, I can't give profile advice because you haven't asked but reading your profile would you meet you? Does it give the best impression of you?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Its' hard isn't it?
I treat it like I imagine people who go fishing.... tons of patience and try to enjoy the experience of waiting.
……..
Key thing is to enjoy and want to meet socially."
I treat it like the way I used to go to the pub with pals. We go out and I would hope that I could cop off by the end of the night. More often than not, we just got pissed, because there was no one out there that we fancied, or they fancy us.  |
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By *iasubTV/TS 45 weeks ago
Ilkeston |
Its very important to give a good impression from both your profile and first message. Most people get a lot of messages everyday and for me at least 90% of them are virtually the same. Obviously i dont know what your doing but my advice is stand out and be original whether it be joke or what ever that will really help.
Its also worth appreciating that many people’s inbox is very full |
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"Its' hard isn't it?
I treat it like I imagine people who go fishing.... tons of patience and try to enjoy the experience of waiting.
It does pay off and I've found that you need to either chat for a while and get to know folk a bit or stike lucky and find someone who is just wanting to meet almost straightaway.
Key thing is to enjoy and want to meet socially."
Is there a fish joke in here somewhere? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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You need to bulk out your bio. Your pics are fine you just really aren't selling yourself.
On top of that women/couples get dozens of messages a day, even a couple like us who aren't the conventional thing most people want.
So yeah, even with the best profile in the world it's gonna be a struggle mate.
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By *neforutoMan 45 weeks ago
Fantasy land in the SW |
Aye, its def tough being a bloke on here trying to get replies never mind interest in a meet. Ive found replies are rare, even if just to say no ty. I think of it this way, if I was a couple getting loads and loads of tosh from guys trying to meet up I would soon get pissed off recieving all that mail. I now think of FAB as nothing more than a social forum for likeminded peeps with the occaisonal 1-1 chat without any expectations |
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Think of your profile as a shop window on a busy high street. You need to make it appealing to draw people in through the door to see what you can offer.
Have a read through your profile and see if you think it's the best you can do.
Also get out into the lifestyle instead of hiding behind a phone screen.
Good luck. |
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The part that always gets missed is the importance of your communication skills. Sure good photos and a well written profile helps, but the people who easily form connections here are usually those with a strong grasp of the written word. This is true for almost all internet forums, not just Fab. If you can express yourself well, with humour and a lightness of touch, people will respond. If you struggle to do this, then practice. All of these places are predicated on the written English language. So if you learn how to use it well, you will definitely improve your chances of connecting to people. Hope this helps OP Xx |
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"The part that always gets missed is the importance of your communication skills. Sure good photos and a well written profile helps, but the people who easily form connections here are usually those with a strong grasp of the written word. This is true for almost all internet forums, not just Fab. If you can express yourself well, with humour and a lightness of touch, people will respond. If you struggle to do this, then practice. All of these places are predicated on the written English language. So if you learn how to use it well, you will definitely improve your chances of connecting to people. Hope this helps OP Xx"
This is good advice |
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This beautiful lady is giving you great advice.
It's very difficult for single men out there, going to socials is a great way to meet fellow singers and start the ball rolling.
I suggest you message the beautiful lady back and thank her  |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"I didn’t think it was gonna be like that but cheers I meen just even chatting to people not getting a reply "
It's normal mate, nothing wrong with you or your approach. It's just a mixture of the internet effect, the male female ratios, and this site's absurd 'rules' about being ignorant. You'll find some of the hottest popular ladies hundreds of miles away from you will be easier to chat to as they will more likely reply. A very high percentage of people are here just to window shop and hardly ever ever meet. You are far better on tinder etc or go to these adult clubs. |
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Most people will look at a profile before they delete or reply to a message.If it's unappealing or blank, it's likely they will delete your message.
Your profile tells us nothing about what you offer op and just you have your fantasies that you want fulfilling.
Maybe update it with what your looking for and what any meet could expect.
Your profile is your way to sell yourself and try and stand out amongst the other men on here. |
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Right, with out going into the much repeated “you’re a single guy thing” here’s my advice.
Clubs. But don’t be stalker type. Not saying you are but there’s a lot of lecherous guys at them that don’t say a word. Join in a conversation .
Fab forums. Join in, chat, make friends. It helps.
Fab Chat. Sure the directing rooms are fun, but try the other social rooms. Again just jump in and chat.
Socials. For single guys these can be a god send! The big organised ones (also known as a munch in the fetish community!) are a great way to meet people and make contacts.
Trust me, you’re far more likely to get a meet through recommendation from a couple or single female… |
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"What am I doing wrong "
Maybe if we knew your approach to this we could help you out!...
When I was using my single male profile, what I found helped me out, was going to local socials and clubs through this. However, that being said that's just my experience and not for everyone.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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As a single woman I can tell you that you not getting much luck here (if that's what you mean) is nothing personal to you whatsoever, many single guys complain to me or in their profiles that being a single man here is difficult as there are far more many men than there are women, single women like myself get relentless msgs, requests etc and fab Socials guests are predominantly couples and single ladies, single men aren't too welcome. Like my current update says, I have over 1000 msgs unread yet plus opened msgs, it can be overwhelming and so msgs are getting overlooked, then fab deletes older msgs so more are lost. Maybe try say something that stands out more from the usual? |
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By *iasubTV/TS 45 weeks ago
Ilkeston |
"As a single woman I can tell you that you not getting much luck here (if that's what you mean) is nothing personal to you whatsoever, many single guys complain to me or in their profiles that being a single man here is difficult as there are far more many men than there are women, single women like myself get relentless msgs, requests etc and fab Socials guests are predominantly couples and single ladies, single men aren't too welcome. Like my current update says, I have over 1000 msgs unread yet plus opened msgs, it can be overwhelming and so msgs are getting overlooked, then fab deletes older msgs so more are lost. Maybe try say something that stands out more from the usual? "
I thought mine was bad at 300  |
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"I didn’t think it was gonna be like that but cheers I meen just even chatting to people not getting a reply "
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. It's realistic to expect that you won't get replies from most people, because of this. If you are really selling yourself in the best, honest ways that you can, then you're making it easier for you and them to know that you're not matched.
Otherwise, remember that no reply is the acceptable way in Fab to make it clear that it's going nowhere. And you can learn from the many posts from men, who are given advice to help them to increase their chances. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"What am I doing wrong "
Not much effort on profile or pics, doesn't D distinguish you from hundreds of other blokes and shows no personality. Pics are random too.  |
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"What am I doing wrong "
It might be a case of a few are getting it right. Take a look around at others' profiles and listen to some of the great advice from above. Particularly from the people who you would love to communicate with. There are some truly nice people on here but if it's women you wish to chat to, you will need to at least sell yourself. |
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