FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ever feel like just giving up…
Ever feel like just giving up…
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Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water. |
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Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my verification, but it seems like that was only a one off, I try and talk to people on here just get ignored or left on read. Just kinda feel like I don’t stand out enough for people to want to talk to me. Just getting me down. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my verification, but it seems like that was only a one off, I try and talk to people on here just get ignored or left on read. Just kinda feel like I don’t stand out enough for people to want to talk to me. Just getting me down."
I think most single guys have felt like that at some point. If direct messaging is getting lost in the mix maybe focus on forums, ir get to socials? Basically get yourself known more. I know I get more messages when I’m active on the forums. Try that? |
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"Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my verification, but it seems like that was only a one off, I try and talk to people on here just get ignored or left on read. Just kinda feel like I don’t stand out enough for people to want to talk to me. Just getting me down."
I've been on and off this site since I was in my mid 20s and in that time, I've had one meet, and that was someone I knew personally who it turned out was on here (we found that out afterwards!)
I sometimes find it quite depressing but, you just have to remember, we outnumber women 100 to 1 here so, they can take their pick and, if you're lucky, you could be that guy.
Stay in the game and keep batting. |
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By *TG3Man 43 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water."
go to a club maybe  |
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We have taken a break sometimes.
It can be difficult to find a real person and when you do manners cost nothing but seem to be lacking.
Even if someone you have messaged are not interested a polite no is better than nothing.
If you need to take a break to for it. That’s what the hide profile is for. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Look for potential long-term friendships rather than one-offs. Once you find someone you can chat with, or meet with, take care of that relationship. That's how you will build up confidence and a circle of friends you can have fun with on a fairly regular basis. Most of them will want someone reliable too. |
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The site can be challenging for everyone at times. I liken into RL. If you go out to have a good night and try to chat women up and 'pull', you will likely be disappointed. But ease off and enjoy the night and sometimes good things happen when you don't try too hard.
Be positive, stick in there and try to have some fun. But positivity is the key.
Failing that, take a break and come back recharged and maybe a different outlook with a different profile etc.  |
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I'd agree with Fred and go to a club. Much better one on one interactions, and people are overwhelmingly (not always, but majority) happy to talk and make eye contact, and that can turn into action either that night or a few socials etc later.
If you're looking for women or couples on FAB, they have so much choice, and receive so many messages (many unpleasant) they get a little tired of everyone sometimes. Online interactions are totally different to in the flesh interactions, so you really have to stand out somehow to be noticed.
If you were looking at "best ways to meet", I'd suggest a club. And go 2 or 3 times over a couple of months to get yourself recognised. |
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"Thanks everyone for the advice. I’ll take it on bored "
Another thing a few others have said - FAB can mess with mental health at times.
Take a break if it feels like that - use it to find out about clubs and parties, but you're the boss of what you need, not FAB, messages, or Forum.
Good luck hombre  . |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water."
your black blue shirt pic is hot  |
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By *TG3Man 43 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I'd agree with Fred and go to a club. Much better one on one interactions, and people are overwhelmingly (not always, but majority) happy to talk and make eye contact, and that can turn into action either that night or a few socials etc later.
If you're looking for women or couples on FAB, they have so much choice, and receive so many messages (many unpleasant) they get a little tired of everyone sometimes. Online interactions are totally different to in the flesh interactions, so you really have to stand out somehow to be noticed.
If you were looking at "best ways to meet", I'd suggest a club. And go 2 or 3 times over a couple of months to get yourself recognised. "
exactly real people real sex real interaction, you can't beat it unless you're looking for something more |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water."
It's way easier to find someone for fun, off here than on here lol. The competition is less in real life. So in terms of building confidence, you're in the wrong place. This site is great for men that ooze confidence 24/7! |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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OP if a short fat weirdo (me) can get it on here there’s hope for everyone
You have a good profile, I think your pics are brilliant. The one thing I’d say is that it’s more a dating profile than a fan profile. Sex it up a bit, show the ladies you have a sexual side as well as an artistic one. |
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Plus, you have made a good start and are generating interest on this thread.
Think about starting another thread. Music is always am easy one, but play to your strengths. I'm sure you'll get some support of us Muppets on here.
Next thing you know it'll catch.
And believe me, some proper shit threads catch. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Don’t get me wrong I appreciate my verification, but it seems like that was only a one off, I try and talk to people on here just get ignored or left on read. Just kinda feel like I don’t stand out enough for people to want to talk to me. Just getting me down."
How do you want to stand out? |
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"Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water."
Just enjoy the forums mate, there's no pleasing some and sometimes you're damnes if you do and damned if you don't.
Relax, and if something happens it happens and if not, so be it. Don't take it personally. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Why is it so damn hard to talk to people on here, I don’t want to be negative, but… starting to feel like I need to step away because this is just blowing what little confidence I had straight out of the water."
I honestly feel like organised socials or clubs are way easier than the whole messaging back and forth thing. If you've anything local maybe try that instead. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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A lot of men here. Not sure how many and woman too. Just be patient, do a search, see if anyone appears to be your type. It is a long process just persevering with fab swingers. Go to clubs.
Happy fabbing op. Never give up |
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By *r_reusMan 43 weeks ago
Coventry |
I used the expression earlier that trying to get things to work on here meet wise for a single male is like coal mining with a teaspoon.
You might get somewhere if you keep at it long enough, but wouldn't that effort be better spent elsewhere?
You could almost certainly find a woman who could make you happy in the real world if you tried applying yourself there instead, and this goes for all the guys on here. |
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Don't worry about it. There are relatively few single females on here (most seem to leave after a day or so as their inboxes get flooded) and couples are twice as tricky to get on with.
Top tip, join an exercise class, you'll meet more women there than you ever will on here. Meanwhile just enjoy the forums and cams |
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By *nnCeeWoman 43 weeks ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"I used the expression earlier that trying to get things to work on here meet wise for a single male is like coal mining with a teaspoon.
You might get somewhere if you keep at it long enough, but wouldn't that effort be better spent elsewhere?
You could almost certainly find a woman who could make you happy in the real world if you tried applying yourself there instead, and this goes for all the guys on here."
I feel a bit like I'm mining with a teaspoon, and I'm a single woman! (Absolutely love that phrase!!) |
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I felt like that for a while too. I'd joined Fab because some friends are on here and they manage to meet folk fairly regularly so I figured it'd be the same for me. I'd not appreciated the majority of folk on here are either single males or couples only wanting couples to play with. I'd taken advice from my pals in not using dick pics (not my style anyway), sending a thoughtful message with an eye-catching subject line and plenty of detail in my profile.
I'm not blessed with a six pack, bronzed skin or hung (not that everyone wants these) but figured that as I'm genuine, respectful and descreet my emails would get a reply and hopefully I'd get to meet for socials at the very least to see if there was a click.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the case and it knocked my confidence a fair bit especially when plenty of Fabbers seem to be having weekly meets and sharing lots of great media.
I took a break for a couple of months and came back with very different expectations, I assume that there'll be no winks, friend requests or emails waiting for me, I browse the hot photos and forum, check for new matches and often enjoy reading the erotic stories. I find that this site is way more fulfilling than a standard porn site, real sex with real people and massively reduced chance of exploited people so my advice to you would be to take a break if needed and view the site as a source of sexy media with the (rare for many) chance of an in the real world meet. |
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