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A question for couples
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By *ea monkey OP Man 51 weeks ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’d like to know why so many couples go through the ‘unicorn’ phase when they start swinging. Looking for women for the guy to fuck In front of the femme, but they’re very different if it comes to a man joining them.
Is one penis policy an acceptable stance in swinging? |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Unicorn here. In my experience more couples are comfortable meeting with single men than single women.
Also, when couples do meet with a single woman it’s not at all like you describe. |
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By *erces LetiferMan 51 weeks ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
For us it’s two-fold. 1) She’s bisexual but only ever been with a man (me), so wants to explore her sexual attraction to women. She’s not into many men, if any, is put off by men in porn so tends to only watch lesbian porn, etc. And 2) she’s not comfortable or secure enough yet to see me/ share me with another woman. We’re taking baby steps and going at her pace. We’re having fun and we’re doing it together/ on the same page and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.  |
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By *eliWoman 51 weeks ago
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I've really not experienced much of the one penis policy in swinging (or seen it). Relationships? Yes.
As a single woman on here though, I've found that not many women want to watch their husband fuck another woman. A wife with another man? Great. A wife with another woman. Fantastic.
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I think whatever works for the couple is an acceptable swinging policy for them
It's an interesting question. I think if people have only been in mf relationships it feels less risky inviting another woman in for ff play? I also know plenty of folk (including us!) whose first foray into swinging was to indulge the female's interest in other women. I wouldn't have thought of myself as a swinger at that point, we didn't have rules. Things just evolved organically.
Mrs TMN x |
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As Mrs M is Bi, we looked for a unicorn for her.
If they were happy for me to be there as a voyeur, then that's a huge bonus.
I don't play with others, so that dispells your theory OP.
We each play our own way and a gentle introduction into the lifestyle may be the choice that appeals to many maybe?
Mr M |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"I’d like to know why so many couples go through the ‘unicorn’ phase when they start swinging. Looking for women for the guy to fuck In front of the femme, but they’re very different if it comes to a man joining them.
Is one penis policy an acceptable stance in swinging? "
Not for us we are the opposite. The more penis the better  |
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We see this a lot and have chatted to couples in clubs who subscribe to this. No judgment as everyone is the author of their own swinging journey.
Our view is that it’s seen as a small step into swinging. The couple are happy for another F to join but not happy to share with another M. There will be many reasons, commonly we find M wants an MFF and the F would like to explore bi-side, unicorn is perfect solution. Apart from the rare nature of unicorns that is !
We’ve met a few couples like this and tend to introduce them to one another. Typically the two M’s miss out and the F’s get to explore together |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I can’t speak for everyone but for us that isn’t the case. Most of our swinging experience has been with other single men.
I also meet alone and have chatted with couples in the past where they are looking for a single woman to join. A lot of the conversations are predominantly led by the male half, which is a tad uncomfortable. The ones that aren’t, that scenario doesn’t come up a lot. It’s usually the male half wanting to take a back seat and watch type thing. |
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It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another woman for a threesome." Man can't believe his luck that he gets to watch the porn fantasy and fuck another woman. The woman is offering something he can't already bring to the relationship.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?
J |
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Unfortunately I think this is sometimes rooted in homophobia, by people who think sex only counts if it is PIV, and that two women having sex is not real sex and therefore less of a 'threat' to the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I always think it's because it's the guy wants to swing so chooses the female - he's even happier for two girls to plsy out his porn fantasy
I also think some couples (men) are less secure and 'can't cope' with the male competition? |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another woman for a threesome." Man can't believe his luck that he gets to watch the porn fantasy and fuck another woman. The woman is offering something he can't already bring to the relationship.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?
J"
Oh yes! Can you read my thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another woman for a threesome." Man can't believe his luck that he gets to watch the porn fantasy and fuck another woman. The woman is offering something he can't already bring to the relationship.
Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?
J"
yes some men don't even like dildos ! Silly boys ! |
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Hmm so our situation is I h have swung previously before meeting k so as k is new to it all he would feel more comfortable with just 1 other person added to us(obviously it would have to of been another female as he's straight and not sure how would feel about another man).
2.insecuritys like someone has said adding another man is threat to relationship!
3.i h come to realise I want to explore with women more.
4.we thought originally just by adding the unicorn it maybe easier to take things slower and we would all be playing together rather then k just fucking the women and me h just fucking the man.
Although we have come to conclusion we would prefer a unicorn but if right couple comes along then we would go with it. |
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"I always think it's because it's the guy wants to swing so chooses the female - he's even happier for two girls to plsy out his porn fantasy
I also think some couples (men) are less secure and 'can't cope' with the male competition? "
See, I've always been the one driving it. Am I the odd one out? I never get it when folk say "oh it's always the man wanting to play out his porn fantasy". Not in my experience, and not with others we've met with. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Not a couple but this question has so many layers to it my hole though god this could be long but here we go some magical effort in this post
So what layer will we start with
For some it could be that the woman doesn’t want to swing but the guy has been harping on for so long about it she’s just went along with it to shut him up about it maybe she’s forfilled her fantasy long ago before meeting in younger years or mid years bween relationships
For others it could be a point system whare
the woman gets her 2 guys and then she doesn’t get another till the guy gets his 3 sum
With a MFM being so easy to find maybe chosen for him to go first
Some woman maybe bi curious but not come out and maybe a way for them to watch / look at other woman without the need to out themselves as being
Watching hubby and join in play write it off as I not bi I just done it for you type thing
unicorns are hard to find
Shameless plug at the end
angels are much better  if anyone wondering a tv/ts that plays with couples
Best off both worlds you can have that MFM 3 sum and that FFM 3 sum all at the one time kill two birds with the some stone much more effective |
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I think some go for an extra fem because it's so many mens fantasy's to watch 2 women together.
I think it's less common for the lady to be for the man and his partner watch.
Plus some ladies don't want another man, as they're only interested in their own partners and want to explore their bi sides.
For me and my partner we look for partner swap and I wouldn't want another male, unless my partner is having fun with his partner at the same time.
Couples have their own dynamics and I've seen some women in couples who don't want a woman to play with their partners as they'd be too jealous. |
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I arranged a blindfold meet with a guy for our first meet - no one penis policy here
C has also met women by herself, without any involvement by me or for me.
I want for us both to have the best times sexually and so that only happens when we are both open with each other to complete our fantasies - that’s why we are in this lifestyle.
Other couples might have different set of rules but that’s why swinging is so interesting.
K
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We are not in the slightest bit interested in unicorns. It’s single men or the male half of the couple we are most interested in. Stag & vixen, my mr just watches or I go out hotwifing and he gets pics and videos sent.
Things may change in the future and evolve but it will never be unicorns we are hunting  |
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If anything I wasn't sure if I wanted an mff, so we were initially looking for single males and couples. As it turned our return to fab started with an mfff. Since then we've had a mix of single men, single women and couples and we are both exploring our bi sides. The main thing with us is we both want to play, rather than one partner just watching. B |
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