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Are we getting socially handicapped?
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By *hagTonight OP Man 38 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I was watching an interesting program of how technology have changed us and about ai.
They compared how more socially we were before the mobile phones were invented and how now dependent we are on it.
They also mentioned how people are in their own little world divorced from reality as people are walking and looking down on their phones and forgetting to intera and unaware of what is happening around them, like on the tube where most are also looking down on their phones.
What is your view on it, are we less sociable now than before? I agree that we are less socially and that we are forgetting how to interact with others, do you use your phone all the time when out and about? I dont use mine so much, mostly at home  |
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By *essaMayWoman 38 weeks ago
Fairytale Wood |
It is a sad state of affairs, you go out for a meal and people are just sat there on their phones, hardly communicating. There have been lots of comic scenarios portrayed in TV and film where young people even sat next to each other communicating by text.
Lets be honest we are becoming a zombie nation. |
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I think the biggest problem is misinterpretation of sentiment in messages as opposed to talking, the face and voice inflection transmit lots of important information.
Also it take hours to have a simple conversation |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 38 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It is a sad state of affairs, you go out for a meal and people are just sat there on their phones, hardly communicating. There have been lots of comic scenarios portrayed in TV and film where young people even sat next to each other communicating by text.
Lets be honest we are becoming a zombie nation."
Yes, you are right there, it is a sad state of affairs too. I have also seen that when they are on their phones like in restaurants and sometimes they havent even talked to eachother for the whole time, as they are so occupied with it. |
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By *9XAYNOR69Man 38 weeks ago
Centralised he/him/his From the land of haribos |
You've hit the nail on the head.
Unfortunately people don't known how to have conversations with other people. I've lost count walking down a street, where people walking in the opposite direction, are so engrossed with their mobile phone, they have either walked into you, or it's a near miss. Is lockdown partially to blame.
People's whole lives are now on line technology has taken over.
Everywhere we go now from the local store gym restaurant town or city is recommended and logged.
Every month I get an update from Google maps telling me in detail where I've been.
It's worrying, Big brother and I don't mean the series is watching. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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Yes. It's not just phones, it's attitudes in general. Many times even if a person isn't on their phone they'll look right through you as though you don't exist, particularly in supermarkets - including the staff!
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Yes people use them way too much.
Walking around like zombies on thier phones. Many times we have seen people crossing roads without taking their eyes off thier phones. Twice so far, we've had people walking out into the road infront of us.
Having thier little ones running in front of them in streets and to busy on thier phones to watch out for them.
It's like thier phone is the life and death for them, and sure death has occurred for some of them.
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"It is a sad state of affairs, you go out for a meal and people are just sat there on their phones, hardly communicating. There have been lots of comic scenarios portrayed in TV and film where young people even sat next to each other communicating by text.
Lets be honest we are becoming a zombie nation.Yes, you are right there, it is a sad state of affairs too. I have also seen that when they are on their phones like in restaurants and sometimes they havent even talked to eachother for the whole time, as they are so occupied with it."
That used to be my ex and I. My phone was a welcome distraction from him while I was making my plans to leave. |
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We have a cafe and see it all the time, a family comes for a meal. The grandparents are chatting to the staff and to us. Their children and grandchildren are just sat at the table looking at their phones, it is a shame because they don’t even taste the food they’re eating it just goes down |
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Some responses on this thread reminds me of that meme going round a few years ago.
Some schoolchildren were sitting on a bench in an art gallery looking at their phones. The caption said something like “today’s youth would rather be on their phones than look at what’s around them.”
Anyway, the teacher sees the photo and comments that she had set them work while in the gallery to research certain paintings, and they were making use of the galleries own website to understand more about what they were looking at.
Sometimes, things are not always what they seem. And phones are not always bad. |
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I think there's this tendency to view the 'good old days' through rose tinted glasses. There's that photo of a train carriage from the 50s where everyone has their face in a news paper.
I'd actually argue we've become more social as we can be having several conversations at once with people all over the world, through our phones. That said, it feels less common to have face to face conversations with friends, especially if they live more than a few miles away.
So, whereas we'd previously have had one face to face a week or so, we're almost in constant communication online. Does that make us more or less social? |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I agree to the point where I do think they’re little need to meet people face to face.
Even on here, I find people less likely to meet up to how it was a few year ago.
Is covid to blame? I don’t think it helped.
But my friends in real life from here don’t go out-out. I think everyone is just comfortable with talking online. It’s just easy and we don’t NEED to leave the house.
I think it’s sad. But that’s because I’m craving some proper human interaction regularly.  |
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I don't know because my peer group to interact socially and so do our children's. I don't know about teenagers though
All I'll say is when I was a regular commuter people rarely spoke to each other they either read books or newspapers. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I think there's alot to unpack.
Some people have become addicted to the dopamine hits from their phone buzzing.
Some have a million conversations on the go to have constant interactions.
Some harvest as many interactions as possible through social media.
Some have become more self absorbed and image obsessed and have to maintain a constant appearance.
Some have short attention spans and need constant entertainment via media sites.
Some people are into certain things that they interact with like minded people with on their phone, things that are either not truely accepted in society or just hasn't got a scene locally to them.
I think there's a million different things at play.
I think the main theme is options.
You arnt forced to socialise locally and just accept what you have.
You can hone in on exactly what you are looking for instantly.
But I feel that's also made some people more dismissive, more tribal, less open minded and more entitled.
Now we know we have limitless access, the tiniest indiscrepancy will end interactions, and then we are on a constant loop off unhappiness not finding what we are looking for, thinking "better" is around the corner. |
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On a wider note, having constant access to so much is a double edged sword. On one hand, we can get so much inspiration from how we see others are living their lives. But on the other hand, what we see is largely cherry picked to give the best impression and to cover over the negatives.
I know this can lead to a lot of unhappiness and unfulfilment. We end up wanting what someone else has and not really appreciating what we already have. |
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By *a LunaWoman 38 weeks ago
South Wales |
I’m quite anti social so not a social butterfly by any means. However you can’t help noticing everywhere you go folk have their nose in their phone rather than being in the moment with the person they are with.
I think it’s sad that folk would rather emerge themselves in an online world when the real world is out there just waiting to be enjoyed, if they would just look. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I’m guilty of having my head stuck in my phone if I’m on public transport. Mostly because I want to get to my destination without having to interact with anyone.
I feel like people where I’m from are still quite sociable though. They will try and strike up a conversation with you while out and about, on public transport, in shops etc. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 38 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"You've hit the nail on the head.
Unfortunately people don't known how to have conversations with other people. I've lost count walking down a street, where people walking in the opposite direction, are so engrossed with their mobile phone, they have either walked into you, or it's a near miss. Is lockdown partially to blame.
People's whole lives are now on line technology has taken over.
Everywhere we go now from the local store gym restaurant town or city is recommended and logged.
Every month I get an update from Google maps telling me in detail where I've been.
It's worrying, Big brother and I don't mean the series is watching."
You are right there, people are forgetting how to have conversations nowadays too. |
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I actually have a far more vibrant social life thanks to my phone. Before 'technology' I rarely ever went out - my friend circle had always been very small, and being socially awkward whilst moving away from friends and family meant that got worse.
Meeting people virtually and then moving that into real life has helped me expand my friend circle and improved my social skills. I do however have the sense to be 'present' when I'm with people and the only time the phone comes out is to prove (or disprove) a point or cheat in a pub quiz! 
But actually, I do think it's a genuine challenge for younger generations who grew up with their phones - and for the best part of two years only interacted with their friends virtually. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"You've hit the nail on the head.
Unfortunately people don't known how to have conversations with other people. I've lost count walking down a street, where people walking in the opposite direction, are so engrossed with their mobile phone, they have either walked into you, or it's a near miss. Is lockdown partially to blame.
People's whole lives are now on line technology has taken over.
Everywhere we go now from the local store gym restaurant town or city is recommended and logged.
Every month I get an update from Google maps telling me in detail where I've been.
It's worrying, Big brother and I don't mean the series is watching."
You mean the one that you opted into when you set it up? |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I'd imagine most would agree phones are useful. I don't buy into the argument they've made us more social though.
Texting/messaging etc. is like living in a cabin in the middle of the woods and only ever communicating by writing letters. Except now people can choose to take their cabin wherever they go and behave like social hermits.
Worse still you can't even be sure your online interactions are with a real person these days! |
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"I was watching an interesting program of how technology have changed us and about ai.
They compared how more socially we were before the mobile phones were invented and how now dependent we are on it.
They also mentioned how people are in their own little world divorced from reality as people are walking and looking down on their phones and forgetting to intera and unaware of what is happening around them, like on the tube where most are also looking down on their phones.
What is your view on it, are we less sociable now than before? I agree that we are less socially and that we are forgetting how to interact with others, do you use your phone all the time when out and about? I dont use mine so much, mostly at home "
I used to have a Facebook account but when I saw what people were writing on there asking people what meat they should have for sunday dinner basically just for likes, I thought HELL I'm outta here and deleted my account promptly. Being said it has its good points.
I only use my phone for calls. Nor am I constantly looking at it. Anyone who starts to walk towards me looking down at their mobile I brace myself ready and just leave them walk into me.  |
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"I actually have a far more vibrant social life thanks to my phone. Before 'technology' I rarely ever went out - my friend circle had always been very small, and being socially awkward whilst moving away from friends and family meant that got worse.
Meeting people virtually and then moving that into real life has helped me expand my friend circle and improved my social skills. I do however have the sense to be 'present' when I'm with people and the only time the phone comes out is to prove (or disprove) a point or cheat in a pub quiz!
But actually, I do think it's a genuine challenge for younger generations who grew up with their phones - and for the best part of two years only interacted with their friends virtually. "
I think phones are brilliant too. For instance fifteen years ago I started gaming online with a group of Norwegians, Swedes, Fins, and Danes. I visit Oslo every year to see them all and I’ve been to numerous weddings, christenings, and birthday parties as we celebrate milestones together.
The idea that the internet has made us less social over the last 25 years is madness. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"I think there's this tendency to view the 'good old days' through rose tinted glasses. There's that photo of a train carriage from the 50s where everyone has their face in a news paper.
I'd actually argue we've become more social as we can be having several conversations at once with people all over the world, through our phones. That said, it feels less common to have face to face conversations with friends, especially if they live more than a few miles away.
So, whereas we'd previously have had one face to face a week or so, we're almost in constant communication online. Does that make us more or less social? "
I believe it makes us less sociable.
Having several conversations with people around the world at the same time is meaningless. Your all in different places thinking different things. It's ok if you want to pass a quick message on.
Being social I believe is being with people in the moment face to face. You have eye contact, body language, and feel the persons energy/ vibe. You shake hands, hug,pat on back etc.
Even though people are in contact with lots more people via online loneliness, anxiety, depression at present is at all time high. Wonder why?
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I've always lived in my own little world divorced from reality because my world is far nicer.
As for technology and socialising I think it's a bit of both, there's people who won't leave their house but are socialising with many online because it enables us to chat to anyone anywhere & I do think some people prefer the reality of their online persona to the real one.
Technology makes it easier in a way to socialise just not in person, it makes chatting to people easier however these people aren't always who they say or as they seem.
I have a very love hate relationship with phones and technology there's far more cheats because another women/man is literally in your hand for an ego boost as and when required.
I hate that my daughter is growing up in a world of sexting & dick pics rather than dating and decency as well as trolling & zero privacy.
I don't think I'd have done well younger if everything I did was posted online I think I'd have withdrawn into myself even moreso.
I'm always socially awkward with it without technology.
Mrs |
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Before phones I would always have my nose in a book (I can recall an ex boyfriends parents commenting on my rudeness doing it). And I'm actually really sociable.
If I'm travelling I may want some downtime. To unwind after a shift. Or relaxing before a work day begins.
As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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over 50% of communication is non verbal, it's the nuance in tone and voice, the way we as humans (or at least some of us) can read another's body language.
That kind of interaction is not possible via phones, so yes, I feel that mobile phones have made us less sociable.
This, along with the decimation of pubs, adult learning centres and other places where one could gather to meet new and different people.
Whilst phones are brilliant for connecting with people far away or being used for agoraphobics and others who find face to face interactions difficult, for the everyday interactions; phones are a disease. |
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"I was watching an interesting program of how technology have changed us and about ai.
They compared how more socially we were before the mobile phones were invented and how now dependent we are on it.
They also mentioned how people are in their own little world divorced from reality as people are walking and looking down on their phones and forgetting to intera and unaware of what is happening around them, like on the tube where most are also looking down on their phones.
What is your view on it, are we less sociable now than before? I agree that we are less socially and that we are forgetting how to interact with others, do you use your phone all the time when out and about? I dont use mine so much, mostly at home "
The upside is that nobody is talking to each other, less C02 production from peoples cake holes.  |
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There’s a growing body of research suggesting yes, particularly increased screen time and social media effects on child development and young peoples overall mental well being and decline in social skills . The older you are , the less impact it seems to have. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth. "
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost. |
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"It's a sad loss but we are less able to engage 
More people now engage much more with animals, than people, which enlarges this social - human - disconnect "
I struck up conversation on a train last time I was in the uk with a 24 year old guy ( we were both not glued to our phones) Who was carrying a dog & on the way to visit his grandparents. Chatted for a couple of hours all about the issues he had as a kid, then lockdown, failing college, Social anxiety, depression & how he barely leaves the flat now and having a dog really helps him, it’s a kind of therapy.
I’d never really thought about that before, Only the negatives of having a pet like not being able to travel. |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost."
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails. |
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"I think there's this tendency to view the 'good old days' through rose tinted glasses. There's that photo of a train carriage from the 50s where everyone has their face in a news paper.
I'd actually argue we've become more social as we can be having several conversations at once with people all over the world, through our phones. That said, it feels less common to have face to face conversations with friends, especially if they live more than a few miles away.
So, whereas we'd previously have had one face to face a week or so, we're almost in constant communication online. Does that make us more or less social?
I believe it makes us less sociable.
Having several conversations with people around the world at the same time is meaningless. Your all in different places thinking different things. It's ok if you want to pass a quick message on.
Being social I believe is being with people in the moment face to face. You have eye contact, body language, and feel the persons energy/ vibe. You shake hands, hug,pat on back etc.
Even though people are in contact with lots more people via online loneliness, anxiety, depression at present is at all time high. Wonder why?
"
So it’s not social to spend several hours talking to a friend on a different continent, sharing your troubles, your fears, and your joyous moments? |
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Great question!
I think social interactions aren't forced on anyone as it was before. You could pretty much get all you want at your home. As socialising isn't forced, it is upto the individuals to decide whether they want it or not.
And with every generation, more and more people are choosing to avoid social interactions mainly because social interactions are hard. People choose the less hard way of spending time by getting hooked on to the internet getting their easy dopamine hits. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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I feel we are more social than ever. But the change since phones & social networks drives it in different ways. The look at me moments, look what I’m doing, we desperately seek social validation from others. Communicating with others, being polite in society seems very much different. The fear of missing out probably drives this too.
I was in a restaurant last week, a group sat down next to my table and all of them didn’t say a word to each other until the waiter came over, and then again until the food arrived. All four of them just scrolled & checked in to their socials.
But perhaps to OP intent, I do believe we talk to strangers less, e.g say hello in the morning, exchange chit chat with the people serving us in shooed etc.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 38 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It is a sad state of affairs, you go out for a meal and people are just sat there on their phones, hardly communicating. There have been lots of comic scenarios portrayed in TV and film where young people even sat next to each other communicating by text.
Lets be honest we are becoming a zombie nation.Yes, you are right there, it is a sad state of affairs too. I have also seen that when they are on their phones like in restaurants and sometimes they havent even talked to eachother for the whole time, as they are so occupied with it.
That used to be my ex and I. My phone was a welcome distraction from him while I was making my plans to leave."
Yes, it can be an distraction from that too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"over 50% of communication is non verbal, it's the nuance in tone and voice, the way we as humans (or at least some of us) can read another's body language.
That kind of interaction is not possible via phones, so yes, I feel that mobile phones have made us less sociable.
This, along with the decimation of pubs, adult learning centres and other places where one could gather to meet new and different people.
Whilst phones are brilliant for connecting with people far away or being used for agoraphobics and others who find face to face interactions difficult, for the everyday interactions; phones are a disease."
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails."
The risk of what? |
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"You've hit the nail on the head.
Unfortunately people don't known how to have conversations with other people. I've lost count walking down a street, where people walking in the opposite direction, are so engrossed with their mobile phone, they have either walked into you, or it's a near miss. Is lockdown partially to blame.
People's whole lives are now on line technology has taken over.
Everywhere we go now from the local store gym restaurant town or city is recommended and logged.
Every month I get an update from Google maps telling me in detail where I've been.
It's worrying, Big brother and I don't mean the series is watching.
You mean the one that you opted into when you set it up?"
Exactly! I dont get these updates because I didnt opt in and my locations are off.
Mr |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what? "
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers. |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what? "
Being told where to go perhaps? Ive read some shit on here but that is up there.
Mr |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what?
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers."
Jesus  |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what?
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers."
I agree with you as technology being a great boon for women in this aspect. Lots of women can travel around the world peacefully because of technology. It's especially been of help for women in countries where safety of women is particularly bad.
As always it's the way we use technology. While it works great on some aspects, we are probably overusing it to eliminate real human interactions completely. We need to strike the right balance. |
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Depends On the situation! For instance on a tube train even before mobiles no one would talk to strangers! But say out for a Meal etc phone stays in my bag except for the odd group pic! I love my phone and never go out without it! But am a very social being myself! |
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what?
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers."
That’s Worcester off my list of places to visit, must be hoards of male psychos wandering the streets |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers."
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
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"As a poster further up says. We are often too keen to romantasize the past and vilify youth.
It's not vilifying youth. People of all ages choose to hide behind their phones rather than engage with the people around them.
There are also practical things such as asking for directions which nobody needs to do any more and so another potential social interaction has been lost.
On the plus side, I’m happy that as a woman I no longer potentially have to ask random men in the street directions, with all the risk that entails.
The risk of what?
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers."
You could always ask a random woman or a couple instead |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"Just a side thought, I seem to say hello to people a lot more when I’m on holiday, especially the locals, is this common or am I as strange as people say?"
From Chorley. It’s because you are from the north. |
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"
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers.
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
"
The problem is that 5 out of 6 men are fine. It's the other one that's a problem.
If someone gave you a box of six chocolates and told you one was poison and would kill you, would you eat any of them? |
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By (user no longer on site) 38 weeks ago
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"
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers.
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
The problem is that 5 out of 6 men are fine. It's the other one that's a problem.
If someone gave you a box of six chocolates and told you one was poison and would kill you, would you eat any of them?"
I don't believe one in every six men is poison or a stalker or even a weirdo who follows women after they ask for directions.
I don't eat chocolates. Too dangerous.
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"
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers.
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
The problem is that 5 out of 6 men are fine. It's the other one that's a problem.
If someone gave you a box of six chocolates and told you one was poison and would kill you, would you eat any of them?"
I hardly believe the numbers of crazies are that high. If men are so terrifying, it seems ludicrous to be on here. |
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I feel sorry for the younger generation who won't know the thrill of chatting up or being chatted up. Making phone calls to the house phone hoping their parents don't answer.
Even dancing seems to have gone out of the window, people dance for ten seconds for a tiktok then sit down again.
Or, my bugbear, all smile and pout for two seconds like it's the best night of your life yet all go back to scrolling social media. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman 38 weeks ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
I hardly believe the numbers of crazies are that high. If men are so terrifying, it seems ludicrous to be on here."
If men are so terrifying it probably makes more sense to interact virtually rather than in person, no?
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"
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers.
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
The problem is that 5 out of 6 men are fine. It's the other one that's a problem.
If someone gave you a box of six chocolates and told you one was poison and would kill you, would you eat any of them?"
I would just point out that that is the exact same argument used by people who are against immigration. |
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By *oxesMan 38 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"It is a sad state of affairs, you go out for a meal and people are just sat there on their phones, hardly communicating. There have been lots of comic scenarios portrayed in TV and film where young people even sat next to each other communicating by text.
Lets be honest we are becoming a zombie nation."
Now I got kernkrsft 400 playing while a bunch of kids sitting down playing games on their phones stuck in my head. |
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By *oxesMan 38 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"I feel sorry for the younger generation who won't know the thrill of chatting up or being chatted up. Making phone calls to the house phone hoping their parents don't answer.
Even dancing seems to have gone out of the window, people dance for ten seconds for a tiktok then sit down again.
Or, my bugbear, all smile and pout for two seconds like it's the best night of your life yet all go back to scrolling social media."
In Berlin many of the nightclubs have a no mobile phone policy.
There is a reason for this.
1) It allows people to express them selves without the be fear of being filmed. Especially if they are self concise about being filmed.
2) when you are veiwing the world through a small screen you maybe missing the bigger picture and not experiencing the world as much as you could be.
3) lastly it is a historic tradition. Many of today's modern nightclubs in Berlin started life as sex clubs, illegal raves and gay clubs (or mixture of all 3). Naturally the organisers did not want people to film at the nights. And it's something that has carried on although nowadays it also includes mobiles. |
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By *oxesMan 38 weeks ago
Southend, Essex |
"I think there's alot to unpack.
Some people have become addicted to the dopamine hits from their phone buzzing.
Some have a million conversations on the go to have constant interactions.
Some harvest as many interactions as possible through social media.
Some have become more self absorbed and image obsessed and have to maintain a constant appearance.
Some have short attention spans and need constant entertainment via media sites.
Some people are into certain things that they interact with like minded people with on their phone, things that are either not truely accepted in society or just hasn't got a scene locally to them.
I think there's a million different things at play.
I think the main theme is options.
You arnt forced to socialise locally and just accept what you have.
You can hone in on exactly what you are looking for instantly.
But I feel that's also made some people more dismissive, more tribal, less open minded and more entitled.
Now we know we have limitless access, the tiniest indiscrepancy will end interactions, and then we are on a constant loop off unhappiness not finding what we are looking for, thinking "better" is around the corner."
The more tribal section is an interesting comment. There is a body of research about echo chambers and online algorithmic filter bubbles with an IBM paper saying back to 1996. Where it raised the concept of an 'information Balkans'. Where poor quality information is all to readily available.
However there is growing body of reservoir that is starting to state the IP opposite. That being haviing acces to the internet means you are less likely to find echo chambers online and more likely to experience them in real life.
So make of that what you will. |
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"
Interacting with random men you don’t know always carries a level of risk for a woman.
Asking a man for directions has the risk that he then knows where you’re going. He might offer to take you, and he might get difficult if you turn down his “kind” offers.
Wow. Men really are bastards.
You could have asked a woman for directions instead... or just not the dodgy looking bloke wielding a knife in one hand and a rope in the other.
The problem is that 5 out of 6 men are fine. It's the other one that's a problem.
If someone gave you a box of six chocolates and told you one was poison and would kill you, would you eat any of them?
I hardly believe the numbers of crazies are that high. If men are so terrifying, it seems ludicrous to be on here."
It depends a lot on the situation. If it's late night and a woman is walking alone somewhere, it is only natural for her to keep her defense up. The last thing she wants to do is to start interacting with someone and also showing that she has lost her way. Also true when you are travelling to a different country and you aren't aware of the law and order situation there. You definitely do not want show someone that you are a foreign woman who has lost her way. |
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