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How many messages is too many
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By *a1970 OP Man 43 weeks ago
East cork |
Hia.... As some people on here get quite a lot of messages... Its understandable that a message gets lost in the many messages so no reply not evan read. It's so easy to become a pest... What's an acceptable number of attempts before you stop..... Should there be a limited to how many you can send one person? I actually think there should be a limit.... 3 max, can't message for a year. |
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"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."
This. A thousand times this.
If people are not interested they won’t reply. I’d say two attempts might be reasonable.
I tend to block at three. |
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"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."
Completely agree!
One message is enough. If you don't get a reply, don't send another message! That's called being a pest! |
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An interesting or intriguing profile will only need one message.
As we are a couple then it’s 50/50 chance of who will open the message first but they’ll get a reply back soon enough if the interest is there.
If it’s not then another one chasing it will likely be ignored or deleted.
Single women will get more and messages may get lost but I bet they scan their messages for something intriguing - that’s why you need to ensure first impressions count.
K |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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I think 2 is enough.
I have a habit of deleting our inbox if I’ve left it too long and there’s too many messages to open. So unless that message is at the top, it probably won’t be seen.
If your message has been opened and not replied to, then I wouldn’t send another one and assume they aren’t interested. |
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It was 1 or 2 and done for me if they went unread, not point wasting time if they're not being read. Though I don't think people understand using filters or hiding profiles even if temporarily helps. You see 'women and couples only' and 'trying to reply' status's, people bulk deleting, so it can encourage repeat mails.
A change to mailboxes with simple filters could be useful: all, friends, conversations, men, women, couples, tv/s. |
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By *TG3Man 43 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"We have a 1 strike rule we will send a message then if we don't get a reply back we will make a little private note on their profile just as a reminder to us not to message again.. "
harsh  |
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I will/have messaged a few people multiple times but, never twice in the same month and I try to avoid re-messaging women who've read and not replied to a previous attempt.
As a result, I'm messaging fewer and fewer people! |
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My record is 2. Sometimes 1, mostly nil sent.
Look when the potential recipient is on line, put some effort into the text, leave a hook then light up a pipe and watch as you get a yellow thing pop up. |
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I usually block at 3.
Sometimes two, if I've deleted the first one and they send another really fast.
It would be good if the stop think message triggered a block on them being able to send yet another. |
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By *uvery30Woman 43 weeks ago
Gloucestershire |
I will 9/10 times reply to them if I'm not interested. If they keep on asking ect then I just block.
A lot more men think I get wayyyy more messages then I do and think keep messaging will make them stand out. Xx |
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"If you have received no reply, it means 1 was too many already. Desist. Accept that an unanswered or unread message is indeed a response: it's a clear no."
This.
I send one and if no reply that’s it.
I once sent a second and feel bad about that.
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"I usually block at 3.
Sometimes two, if I've deleted the first one and they send another really fast.
It would be good if the stop think message triggered a block on them being able to send yet another. "
This should definitely happen |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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I’ve never been fortunate enough to receive message after message. So I’d say one or two, if I’ve not replied, after that, they should get the hint that their messages weren’t worth replying to. (Even guys get terrible DMs)
Myself, I send one and wait for a reply… and wait, … and wait.
I wont intentionally send a second one, the fact I haven’t got a reply, tells me everything I need to know.  |
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"We have a 1 strike rule we will send a message then if we don't get a reply back we will make a little private note on their profile just as a reminder to us not to message again.. "
I’ll leave a sent message four or five days and if no answer and unread, then add a note saying not to recontact. I’ll put note on quicker if deleted.
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Unless it’s forum related probably 2 max and def not in the same month maybe 3-6 months later have another crack on the off chance your first message was shit or was missed by accident. 5 is mental don’t do that  |
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"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."
As a man on this forum I agree that one well worded message to a SELECT few ladies is always going to better approach than cut and paste approach to 500.
It’s a sex site yes but technically a dating app and you have to put your best foot forward not a picture of an angry looking penis that needs moisturizer hanging out of some off white boxer shorts with a three line profile. |
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Honestly if I was a guy, I wouldn't message anyone. I would let my profile speak for itself.
I have never met a guy of fab from them messaging me, it has always been through recommendations or profiles I have come across myself or through swinging events.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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I rarely send messages but if I do then one is enough and if I don’t receive a reply, I’d leave it at that and forget about it.
Receiving messages, sometimes I’ll reply straight away, sometimes I intend to but forget and a second one will prompt me to.
If I’m not interested, I tend to make it politely obvious. |
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Deleted without reading is an instant block from me.
Read but not replied, I may send 1 more before blocking.
2 messaged but remain unread, again, I'll block.
I'll never send 3.
Why do I block (yes, even blokes will block ladies), its so I don't pester them by accident in the future.
Hope this makes sense.  |
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