FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men who won't take "NO" for an answer
Men who won't take "NO" for an answer
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In spite of my profile clearly stating I'm straight and that I'm not looking for men, I do get an awful lot of messages from men.
Now, this doesn't bother me as such, I'm a nice person, I'll talk to anyone and I've had some very entertaining chats with some guys on here but... I do also get messages from guys who open with duck pics, or worse yet... pics of their hairy arseholes! Who not only refuse to accept "sorry I'm straight" as an answer but, will continue to send pics and try to talk me into meets.
I know this happens to women all the time too.
I think it would bother me less if I got any messages from women but, that's not the point!
Why do so many men refuse to take "no" for an answer?
(And yes, I know you can block people, and I do! I just want to know why people think this is the case, and does anyone think its likely/possible to effectively discourage this behaviour? |
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I usually ask them why they think I would be interested until they call me a cunt and block me themselves. I couldn't tell you why people refuse to accept a no I'm afraid OP. Simply confirm that its a common problem.
There are people and events that make leaving the message filters off worthwhile. But my block list is fucking huge  |
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"Probably because they desire u that much "
I find that extremely hard to believe! But, I'll take it as a compliment and thank you for it.
I don't see why I'd be that irresistible to men but, apparently completely repellant to women though! Haha |
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"...I do get an awful lot of messages from men..."
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Genuinely?? 
I don't. Despite my filters being open I probably get one or two unsolicited messages per year from men. A simple "no thank you" usually culls the 'conversation'.
[Messages from male friends or male forum-dwellers excepted] |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 47 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
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Why do so many men refuse to take "no" for an answer? "
That's, unfortunately, the modus operandi of a lot of men. They'll do it to women, or if they're that way inclined, they'll do it to men. I get it all the time, despite my profile very clearly stating I'm not meeting. I don't think there's any single strategy to discourage it. Decline them when it happens. Block them if they persist.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"In spite of my profile clearly stating I'm straight and that I'm not looking for men, I do get an awful lot of messages from men.
Now, this doesn't bother me as such, I'm a nice person, I'll talk to anyone and I've had some very entertaining chats with some guys on here but... I do also get messages from guys who open with duck pics, or worse yet... pics of their hairy arseholes! ….."
Yeh, I’d still prefer the drakes myself too.  
Don’t sweat it op, and it’s the same thing I would say if a woman had posted this. Which many of them do |
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"I usually ask them why they think I would be interested until they call me a cunt and block me themselves. I couldn't tell you why people refuse to accept a no I'm afraid OP. Simply confirm that its a common problem.
There are people and events that make leaving the message filters off worthwhile. But my block list is fucking huge "
Sorry to be a creepy guy but... I bet your inbox is overflowing with guys who don't want to take no for an answer!
My block list grows faster than my waistline on holiday! |
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I have added no straight guys but I’ll still get messages from them. I even ended up having an argument with a straight guy when he complained I was wasting his time for not answering any of his constant messages and winks.
Now I find it’s easier just to ignore or delete, often without opening the message you can see what they are saying from an opening sentence. So I delete hoping they’ll get the message.
It’s not easy and you’re not alone. |
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"If you're engaging with their effort to entice you, they're probably working up a froth over that
"
I just like talking to people! Never in a million years did I think that would have men frothing!
Specially when it normally sent women running for the hills! |
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"...I do get an awful lot of messages from men...
•
Genuinely??
I don't. Despite my filters being open I probably get one or two unsolicited messages per year from men. A simple "no thank you" usually culls the 'conversation'.
[Messages from male friends or male forum-dwellers excepted]"
How do you do this?
I find that a "no thank you" or "I'm straight" results in the person doubling down and trying to convince me that I should be more open minded! |
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It's easy to be a pest on here, you're largely anonymous.
unfortunately they make themselves stand out in the wrong way though.
I had a message the other day, it was really crude so I deleted it. He then sent another ten mins later asking where abouts I was and If I was up for fun.
Blocked, some don't seem to know how to take a hint.
If you genuinely don't want to chat to men op, use your filters and block all men from being able to contact you.
Just to say we've had couples on our joint profile who are guilty of being Pests too in the past.
One couple used to message us asking if I was bi every couple of weeks, till we blocked them. So it's not just men who are guilty, but looks worse because of how many men are on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"You have a ‘certain look’ OP 
Do I? I'm an actor so my "look" changes fairly often but, what do you mean?
Are you saying I look like I love the cock?"
Ignore Rex. He's always on the wind up. |
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"It's easy to be a pest on here, you're largely anonymous.
unfortunately they make themselves stand out in the wrong way though.
I had a message the other day, it was really crude so I deleted it. He then sent another ten mins later asking where abouts I was and If I was up for fun.
Blocked, some don't seem to know how to take a hint.
If you genuinely don't want to chat to men op, use your filters and block all men from being able to contact you.
Just to say we've had couples on our joint profile who are guilty of being Pests too in the past.
One couple used to message us asking if I was bi every couple of weeks, till we blocked them. So it's not just men who are guilty, but looks worse because of how many men are on fab. "
I don't want to block men from messaging me because, some DO accept I don't want to meet them and we go on to have interesting and good conversations, and I don't want to sacrifice that for the sake of some dickheads.
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"You have a ‘certain look’ OP
Do I? I'm an actor so my "look" changes fairly often but, what do you mean?
Are you saying I look like I love the cock?
Ignore Rex. He's always on the wind up."
Noted.
But, if there's something in that I'd like to know! |
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I don't get messages from men because I have them all blocked but the only reason I blocked them was because I was getting messages asking to be my wingman or for me to be theirs.
I can only think of one message in 8 years from a man offering sex.
However there is an assumption in many threads like this that it is only single men who don't understand the meaning of the word no.
Most of the women on my block list are there because they were pests and wouldn't or couldn't understand why I refused to meet them.
The only direct nastiness I have experienced on here has been from couples who called me an idiot, a waster, too old and too straight to ever be successful here when I refused their opening message demands.
They also asked if I genuinely didn't know who they were and their standing in the community and how they could end my fab journey with a few well placed messages?
Men's inability to accept that no means no is always highlighted but maybe a more balanced question would be why do people not understand it?
How many women have spoken on here over the years about being pressured to meet or play bi by couples? |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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"You have a ‘certain look’ OP
Do I? I'm an actor so my "look" changes fairly often but, what do you mean?
Are you saying I look like I love the cock?
Ignore Rex. He's always on the wind up.
Noted.
But, if there's something in that I'd like to know!"
You've got your dick out in a photo. That will be enough to attract a certain group of men. It's up to you if you think it will also appeal to women. |
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"Sorry to be a creepy guy but... I bet your inbox is overflowing with guys who don't want to take no for an answer!"
I keep my inbox pretty clear and delete just about everything. My block list however is definitely overflowing with them |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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I get most of my picture fans from men, which I see as a complement. However I do block all messages from men. Couples fine..and if I am talking to the man in the couple: no problem obviously has a vested interest. |
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"...I do get an awful lot of messages from men...
•
Genuinely??
I don't. Despite my filters being open I probably get one or two unsolicited messages per year from men. A simple "no thank you" usually culls the 'conversation'.
[Messages from male friends or male forum-dwellers excepted]
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How do you do this?
I find that a "no thank you" or "I'm straight" results in the person doubling down and trying to convince me that I should be more open minded! "
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OP, have you actually read your profile? You've written in your opening gambit — "Feel free to message. I will respond to anyone!" 
And perhaps therein lies your issue... |
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"...I do get an awful lot of messages from men...
•
Genuinely??
I don't. Despite my filters being open I probably get one or two unsolicited messages per year from men. A simple "no thank you" usually culls the 'conversation'.
[Messages from male friends or male forum-dwellers excepted]
·
How do you do this?
I find that a "no thank you" or "I'm straight" results in the person doubling down and trying to convince me that I should be more open minded!
•
OP, have you actually read your profile? You've written in your opening gambit — "Feel free to message. I will respond to anyone!"
And perhaps therein lies your issue..."
I will respond to anyone! That doesn't mean I'm willing to meet anyone, or that I'm open to meeting men.
Regardless, if a woman messaged me (hahaha) and I wasn't interested, I wouldn't expect them to continue trying to convince me otherwise.
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I get you . So many messages from men with straight on profile , not looking for tvs when you reply x
Not in age range x
Some apologise but many don’t x
Guy last night “ your lucky I even looked at your profile you lot are just creepy “ I guess he was referencing TVs x this was on the site TVChix !!! I said well you obvs didn’t look at profile as you wouldn’t messaged me x I would say I get 6 a day across Fab G Fab S and Tvchix x you aren’t alone my friend |
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"I get you . So many messages from men with straight on profile , not looking for tvs when you reply x
Not in age range x
Some apologise but many don’t x
Guy last night “ your lucky I even looked at your profile you lot are just creepy “ I guess he was referencing TVs x this was on the site TVChix !!! I said well you obvs didn’t look at profile as you wouldn’t messaged me x I would say I get 6 a day across Fab G Fab S and Tvchix x you aren’t alone my friend "
It's annoying isn't it?!
I do feel particularly sorry for tvs as you probably get a decent amount of unnecessary, abusive messages. I get some myself but, they're normally about me saying "no" or my appearance, as opposed to the way I present to society.
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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OP, your profile bio is allowing people to message you with anything. You've actually told them to do that, so why not just read the message but block and delete and move on?
You can't complain as you've invited the messages.
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Entitlement, fundamentally. Two things pop up here a lot. "If you don't ask you don't get", and "if you keep asking you'll change your mind"
Both can come across as "I don't care what you want, and I'll hassle you until I get what I want". (Can. Doesn't always. Untwist knickers)
Which is entirely consistent with safety and consent in private, yes?  |
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"Why do you say sorry you are straight ?
I get similar, not as often as you by the sounds of it . , I just say - No - I’m not into men. I don’t need to apologise."
I guess I'm just a bit more British about things than you. I mean, I apologise to doors for bumping into them! |
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"Entitlement, fundamentally. Two things pop up here a lot. "If you don't ask you don't get", and "if you keep asking you'll change your mind"
Both can come across as "I don't care what you want, and I'll hassle you until I get what I want". (Can. Doesn't always. Untwist knickers)
Which is entirely consistent with safety and consent in private, yes? "
Utterly inconsistent with my concept of consent in any setting.
But I'm quite open in how much I dislike that as a way of thinking |
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"I think I'd do brilliantly as a bi or gay man.
From that perspective it's a shame I'm straight. "
Apparently if I were bi or gay I would be dealing with an almost neverending line of cocks!
I wish I was that attractive to women! Or, I at least wish women's standards were as low as men's! |
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"Entitlement, fundamentally. Two things pop up here a lot. "If you don't ask you don't get", and "if you keep asking you'll change your mind"
Both can come across as "I don't care what you want, and I'll hassle you until I get what I want". (Can. Doesn't always. Untwist knickers)
Which is entirely consistent with safety and consent in private, yes?
Utterly inconsistent with my concept of consent in any setting.
But I'm quite open in how much I dislike that as a way of thinking "
For sure. I was using as a proxy for a sarcasm tag, sorry  |
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"Entitlement, fundamentally. Two things pop up here a lot. "If you don't ask you don't get", and "if you keep asking you'll change your mind"
Both can come across as "I don't care what you want, and I'll hassle you until I get what I want". (Can. Doesn't always. Untwist knickers)
Which is entirely consistent with safety and consent in private, yes?
Utterly inconsistent with my concept of consent in any setting.
But I'm quite open in how much I dislike that as a way of thinking
For sure. I was using as a proxy for a sarcasm tag, sorry "
Oh, it's too common as an actual thought people have to click as sarcasm for me over text |
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"Entitlement, fundamentally. Two things pop up here a lot. "If you don't ask you don't get", and "if you keep asking you'll change your mind"
Both can come across as "I don't care what you want, and I'll hassle you until I get what I want". (Can. Doesn't always. Untwist knickers)
Which is entirely consistent with safety and consent in private, yes?
Utterly inconsistent with my concept of consent in any setting.
But I'm quite open in how much I dislike that as a way of thinking
For sure. I was using as a proxy for a sarcasm tag, sorry
Oh, it's too common as an actual thought people have to click as sarcasm for me over text "
Heartily agree! |
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To be honest I chat to lots of straight guys about just normal stuff. Also fab pics, especially on certain threads. Again it is the pic and usually just a compliment and nothing else. I would never presume anything. I find usually a quick and appropriate message will suffice with anyone I don't want talk to. A very tiny number might not take the hint but easy to block. The system is good with filters, blocks etc to help you manage unwanted traffic. You need to use or just put up with it I suppose. I wouldn't expect to change how others behave. It will never happen. |
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"You have a massive wang & a fuckable mouth, I see their point"
I wouldn't say it's "massive" but, I'll take that.
As for my mouth being "fuckable"... is it? I know people are often keen to make me shut up but, beyond that... |
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"That and apparently you're clueless when it comes to using the filters on the website."
Haha I'm with you ^
OP, please get a grip. Just block the men or accept you are going to get asked to play 'doctors and nurses' every so often. That'll be a test of your acting skills for sure.
Enjoy. |
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I have never come across other men not taking "no" as an answer, the men who have approached and I have said I'm not interested have mainly been respectful. That's not to say it hasn't happened to you or others. From my understanding from spending time in the forum alot of men on the site are just absolute animals who think of others as simple meat to fuck. |
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By *lder.Woman 47 weeks ago
Not Local |
"That and apparently you're clueless when it comes to using the filters on the website.
Haha I'm with you ^
OP, please get a grip. Just block the men or accept you are going to get asked to play 'doctors and nurses' every so often. That'll be a test of your acting skills for sure.
Enjoy. "
But then what happens to all the conversations he has with interesting men. |
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"That and apparently you're clueless when it comes to using the filters on the website.
Haha I'm with you ^
OP, please get a grip. Just block the men or accept you are going to get asked to play 'doctors and nurses' every so often. That'll be a test of your acting skills for sure.
Enjoy.
But then what happens to all the conversations he has with interesting men. "
Indeed. I like talking to people, I just don't like when people refuse to accept that I'm not going to abaondon my sexuality, and even if I was, preasure wouldn't be the way to convince me. |
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"That and apparently you're clueless when it comes to using the filters on the website.
Haha I'm with you ^
OP, please get a grip. Just block the men or accept you are going to get asked to play 'doctors and nurses' every so often. That'll be a test of your acting skills for sure.
Enjoy.
But then what happens to all the conversations he has with interesting men. "
Stop it you |
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"You do realise there are message filters and block section to stop all your male admirers contacting you? If only people would do a little research on their profiles and put blocks in place no one would be complaining about unnecessary attention. "
I do realise that thanks but, I enjoy talking to people.
One would think that putting "straight" on one's profile would be enough to discourage men from trying it on but, apparently not.
I would rather not deny myself the ability to engage in conversations with interesting people just because some men are dickheads. |
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If you want to reply, with no thanks, I'd use the block button, if they persist in trying to get you, after that. Anybody can be a user here and it will include people who aren't particularly pleasant. I'd just give 1 chance to respect me |
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As them for an email to send them cock shots, sign them up to Grinder or whatever it’s called- suddenly they’ll have a smorgasbord of sausage to distract them and you’ll be left alone…everyone’s a winner baby  |
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In my opinion men who won't take no for an answer are mentally ill!
They are the sick individuals who are capable of abuse (usually women) r*pe, and stalking!
Their egos and sense of self entitlement are off the scale!
I assume in their fucked up mind, you don't deserve to say no OP! You are just a challenge to them! A game to get you to give in to them. It's all power play to them!
OP welcome to a woman's world! Where we have to deal with this shit all the time! It's fucking horrible! |
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"In my opinion men who won't take no for an answer are mentally ill!
They are the sick individuals who are capable of abuse (usually women) r*pe, and stalking!
Their egos and sense of self entitlement are off the scale!
I assume in their fucked up mind, you don't deserve to say no OP! You are just a challenge to them! A game to get you to give in to them. It's all power play to them!
OP welcome to a woman's world! Where we have to deal with this shit all the time! It's fucking horrible! "
Well, I'm proud to represent the guys who not only take "no" for an answer from women but, are generally too scared to approach anyone for fear of being misinterpreted!
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"In my opinion men who won't take no for an answer are mentally ill!
They are the sick individuals who are capable of abuse (usually women) r*pe, and stalking!
Their egos and sense of self entitlement are off the scale!
I assume in their fucked up mind, you don't deserve to say no OP! You are just a challenge to them! A game to get you to give in to them. It's all power play to them!
OP welcome to a woman's world! Where we have to deal with this shit all the time! It's fucking horrible! "
This seems a little OTT...I reckon they're just overcome with a need to spunk with a furious wank |
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"In spite of my profile clearly stating I'm straight and that I'm not looking for men, I do get an awful lot of messages from men.
Now, this doesn't bother me as such, I'm a nice person, I'll talk to anyone and I've had some very entertaining chats with some guys on here but... I do also get messages from guys who open with duck pics, or worse yet... pics of their hairy arseholes! Who not only refuse to accept "sorry I'm straight" as an answer but, will continue to send pics and try to talk me into meets.
I know this happens to women all the time too.
I think it would bother me less if I got any messages from women but, that's not the point!
Why do so many men refuse to take "no" for an answer?
(And yes, I know you can block people, and I do! I just want to know why people think this is the case, and does anyone think its likely/possible to effectively discourage this behaviour?"
Because their respect for boundaries is non-existent and their entitlement is huge.
I personally don't understand the pleading or abuse when being told "no thank you" or the reply "your loss". An odd way to deal with rejection. |
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"You do realise there are message filters and block section to stop all your male admirers contacting you? If only people would do a little research on their profiles and put blocks in place no one would be complaining about unnecessary attention.
I do realise that thanks but, I enjoy talking to people.
One would think that putting "straight" on one's profile would be enough to discourage men from trying it on but, apparently not.
I would rather not deny myself the ability to engage in conversations with interesting people just because some men are dickheads."
m
Agree with this - if one can't exercise self control why should users have to implement maximum filters to stop contact?
I admit I do use the filters because of previous messages such as the example OP posted. For me- if a profile stated no (whatever I am) I wouldn't even contact them. Who am I to put my needs before their preferences? |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"In spite of my profile clearly stating I'm straight and that I'm not looking for men, I do get an awful lot of messages from men.
Now, this doesn't bother me as such, I'm a nice person, I'll talk to anyone and I've had some very entertaining chats with some guys on here but... I do also get messages from guys who open with duck pics, or worse yet... pics of their hairy arseholes! Who not only refuse to accept "sorry I'm straight" as an answer but, will continue to send pics and try to talk me into meets.
I know this happens to women all the time too.
I think it would bother me less if I got any messages from women but, that's not the point!
Why do so many men refuse to take "no" for an answer?
(And yes, I know you can block people, and I do! I just want to know why people think this is the case, and does anyone think its likely/possible to effectively discourage this behaviour?"
Same here matey well said |
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"I can only guess that in the past they've managed to talk other people round.
Possibly but, if you're being talked round, you can't really continue to call yourself straight can you?"
That's not something I care about.
Some men see a sexual act as just that, and it doesn't matter who is doing the sucking.
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