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Pull up a pew, Fab restaurant is open!
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils!  ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over 
Whatcha having?"
I will have. Oh. Damnit. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"All day breakfast please. No tomatoes or mushrooms, so an extra sausage. Two toast and a strawberry milkshake "
This sounds great but add the tomatoes in please. There best be black pudding and hash browns too! |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I will have. Oh. Damnit. "
Oi! Get back in the kitchen!!! |
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Three tubs of Ben & Jerry's and some chocolate fudge cake please.
Would you like a spoon and a fork with that or are you using just your fingers again  "
Just pop it in a big bowl please and I'll use my tongue.  |
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"All day breakfast please. No tomatoes or mushrooms, so an extra sausage. Two toast and a strawberry milkshake
This sounds great but add the tomatoes in please. There best be black pudding and hash browns too!"
Be a 2 min wait...Will74 has just burnt the toast..... |
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"Three tubs of Ben & Jerry's and some chocolate fudge cake please.
Would you like a spoon and a fork with that or are you using just your fingers again
Just pop it in a big bowl please and I'll use my tongue. "
Saves on the washing up  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Three tubs of Ben & Jerry's and some chocolate fudge cake please.
Would you like a spoon and a fork with that or are you using just your fingers again
Just pop it in a big bowl please and I'll use my tongue.
Saves on the washing up "
Works at home!
I generally just take the washing up into the shower with me in the morning.  |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"All day breakfast please. No tomatoes or mushrooms, so an extra sausage. Two toast and a strawberry milkshake
This sounds great but add the tomatoes in please. There best be black pudding and hash browns too!
Be a 2 min wait...Will74 has just burnt the toast..... "
Well, if you do insist on cooking naked. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Three tubs of Ben & Jerry's and some chocolate fudge cake please.
Would you like a spoon and a fork with that or are you using just your fingers again
Just pop it in a big bowl please and I'll use my tongue.
Saves on the washing up "
Who said anything about washing up?! I'm not washing up! |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"All day breakfast please. No tomatoes or mushrooms, so an extra sausage. Two toast and a strawberry milkshake
This sounds great but add the tomatoes in please. There best be black pudding and hash browns too!
Be a 2 min wait...Will74 has just burnt the toast..... "
That would be because you’re distracting them! |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"All day breakfast please. No tomatoes or mushrooms, so an extra sausage. Two toast and a strawberry milkshake
This sounds great but add the tomatoes in please. There best be black pudding and hash browns too!
Be a 2 min wait...Will74 has just burnt the toast.....
That would be because you’re distracting them!"
She did indeed. But some more toast is on. I just hope LN 2024 doesn't keep wiggling her bum. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Full Scottish please OP
The same. Sausage bacon, fried egg, 2 tattie scones, blackpudding, haggis beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, toast. And a big mug of tea.
That should do me til dinner "
On it's way! |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"I’d like to book a table for tomorrow lunchtime please. For four in the sunny corner of the conservatory.
Roast lamb with all the trimmings.
Rhubarb crumble and custard for pud.
Who’s joining me?"
No promises. I got a burn injury earlier looking at LN 2024 working naked in the kitchen. She's promised me she knows 1st aid. Will have to wait and find out how good she is. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Fried sweet cheeks, asparagus and sweet potato fries, followed by a creme brulee to match if not better the one we had in lanzarote last year.. "
It might be a little slower than normal. LN 2024 has gone for a cuppa. I mean |
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"I’d like to book a table for tomorrow lunchtime please. For four in the sunny corner of the conservatory.
Roast lamb with all the trimmings.
Rhubarb crumble and custard for pud.
Who’s joining me?
No promises. I got a burn injury earlier looking at LN 2024 working naked in the kitchen. She's promised me she knows 1st aid. Will have to wait and find out how good she is. "
Haha did your stiffy touch the oven door?! |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"I’d like to book a table for tomorrow lunchtime please. For four in the sunny corner of the conservatory.
Roast lamb with all the trimmings.
Rhubarb crumble and custard for pud.
Who’s joining me?
No promises. I got a burn injury earlier looking at LN 2024 working naked in the kitchen. She's promised me she knows 1st aid. Will have to wait and find out how good she is.
Haha did your stiffy touch the oven door?!"
What do you take me for?! I'm a professional naked chef! |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?"
Still taking orders. |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?"
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Well I am not eating here, still waiting for my salad! "
LN 2024 obviously not paying attention. I can see her over there trying to open the 1st aid box.
Here's your salad young lady. And a glass to go with. Compliments of the house. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one. "
2 rare steaks. Is Crocodile rare enough for you? |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one.
2 rare steaks. Is Crocodile rare enough for you? "
People keep snapping them up |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Calamari for starters and then a Filetto Rosini with oven roasted veg.
Medium rare on the steak.
Finish with a Tiramisu please"
Service is a bit delayed. LN 2024 is wiggling her bum again.
|
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one.
2 rare steaks. Is Crocodile rare enough for you?
People keep snapping them up "
Snap crackle and pop?! |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one.
2 rare steaks. Is Crocodile rare enough for you?
People keep snapping them up "
Is that why I've waited so long for them?
|
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
I'll have a rare steak. Then I'll have another one.
2 rare steaks. Is Crocodile rare enough for you?
People keep snapping them up
Is that why I've waited so long for them?
"
They're rare. Still trying to catch one. Patience is the key! |
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"Is the kitchen still open?
I fancy some dinner now. Something spanish, a chorizo and chicken type thing or some Huevos a la Flamenca.
Please."
Yep doors are always open here 
Chicken type thing coming up
Take a pew and dinner will be along soon |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
Meat and 2 veg please"
I believe I have some of these.......
Can I offer you a beverage whilst you wait? |
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"Is the kitchen still open?
I fancy some dinner now. Something spanish, a chorizo and chicken type thing or some Huevos a la Flamenca.
Please.
Yep doors are always open here
Chicken type thing coming up
Take a pew and dinner will be along soon "
Thank you, please may I also have a glass of Cruzcampo, to keep it a spanish theme. I'm not grown up enough to like wine and olives |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"May I have steak ( medium rare) triple cooked chips, onions rings and mushrooms please x
Of course young lady. And a glass of white wine to go with it.
It's almost like you know me  thank you xx"
How did that happen?! |
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"Is the kitchen still open?
I fancy some dinner now. Something spanish, a chorizo and chicken type thing or some Huevos a la Flamenca.
Please.
Yep doors are always open here
Chicken type thing coming up
Take a pew and dinner will be along soon
Thank you, please may I also have a glass of Cruzcampo, to keep it a spanish theme. I'm not grown up enough to like wine and olives"
Grown up? What's one of them? 
Glass of Cruzcampo coming up
I'll leave the keg on the side for you |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?"
Roast duck with orange sauce, roast potatoes, parsnips, broccoli, a decent think gravy, a glass of cabinet Sauvignon, and sticky toffee pudding with lots of custard for dessert.
Please and thank you. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Finally, I can rest my overworked self. LN has been slacking of late. No bum wiggle is going to distract me.
Wait. There it is again. Damnit LN.
Shaking it like a Polaroid picture  "
Stop that bum wiggle. This food is going to get burnt. Did you do the washing up? We're running out of plates. |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
Roast duck with orange sauce, roast potatoes, parsnips, broccoli, a decent think gravy, a glass of cabinet Sauvignon, and sticky toffee pudding with lots of custard for dessert.
Please and thank you."
As you are so polite your order will be ready in a jiffy |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
Roast duck with orange sauce, roast potatoes, parsnips, broccoli, a decent think gravy, a glass of cabinet Sauvignon, and sticky toffee pudding with lots of custard for dessert.
Please and thank you.
As you are so polite your order will be ready in a jiffy "
I do my best to be polite and look! It pays off! |
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"Finally, I can rest my overworked self. LN has been slacking of late. No bum wiggle is going to distract me.
Wait. There it is again. Damnit LN.
Shaking it like a Polaroid picture
Stop that bum wiggle. This food is going to get burnt. Did you do the washing up? We're running out of plates. "
Wiggle wiggle
Yes, washing up done
As the tea towels were all used up, I dried the plates on your bed sheets, hope that's ok? |
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"Will go for my favourite bouillabaisse two dish soup. If your skills can't stretch to that, will go for a hearty beef bourguignon with some crusty bread. Thanks. "
Yep, you're right, culinary skills are shite  Beef bourguignon on its way away young man |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Finally, I can rest my overworked self. LN has been slacking of late. No bum wiggle is going to distract me.
Wait. There it is again. Damnit LN.
Shaking it like a Polaroid picture
Stop that bum wiggle. This food is going to get burnt. Did you do the washing up? We're running out of plates.
Wiggle wiggle
Yes, washing up done
As the tea towels were all used up, I dried the plates on your bed sheets, hope that's ok? "
That's fine I cleaned them yesterday. I knew you didn't know where the tea towel draw is... |
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"Will go for my favourite bouillabaisse two dish soup. If your skills can't stretch to that, will go for a hearty beef bourguignon with some crusty bread. Thanks.
Yep, you're right, culinary skills are shite Beef bourguignon on its way away young man"
That will do, thanks and pour another glass please. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will go for my favourite bouillabaisse two dish soup. If your skills can't stretch to that, will go for a hearty beef bourguignon with some crusty bread. Thanks.
Yep, you're right, culinary skills are shite Beef bourguignon on its way away young man
That will do, thanks and pour another glass please. "
IN, phew! I have seen your culinary skills. Get on with the bouillabaisse. Stop pretending. |
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"May I have the French onion soup with fresh buttery crusty rolls to start, spinach and ricotta cannelloni for main and I need to find someone for dessert. Thank you! "
Good choice madame
There I plenty of desert on the menu Curvaceousviolet, I hope you do find something that tickles your fancy
|
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"I’ll have potato skins with garlic dip
Steak Diane (medium)
Raspberry pavlova
Ta v much
Don't worry you haven't been forgotten
Sorry for the wait, just can't get the staff these days "
Good as I’m peckish |
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"Will go for my favourite bouillabaisse two dish soup. If your skills can't stretch to that, will go for a hearty beef bourguignon with some crusty bread. Thanks.
Yep, you're right, culinary skills are shite Beef bourguignon on its way away young man
That will do, thanks and pour another glass please.
IN, phew! I have seen your culinary skills. Get on with the bouillabaisse. Stop pretending. "
Culinary skills.....is that what you call it?
Don't tell everyone about what we did with the rolling pin. I must admit I didn't think it would fit in there either, but who knew! |
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"May I have the French onion soup with fresh buttery crusty rolls to start, spinach and ricotta cannelloni for main and I need to find someone for dessert. Thank you!
Good choice madame
There I plenty of desert on the menu Curvaceousviolet, I hope you do find something that tickles your fancy
"
Thank you very much, big tip coming your way!
I can see quite a few delicacies on the dessert menu I would love to taste  |
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"Pie please? Chicken pie with roast potatoes, green beans and a Yorkshire pudding. Sticky toffee pudding with custard and maybe a cheesecake on the side. Diet because I gotta watch them calories "
Chicken pie, roast potatoes with a Yorkshire pudding on the side? Marry me  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"5 course..
Home made vegetable soup
Prawn cocktail
Lamb biryani
Cheesecake
Coffee and mints
Of course my lady, would you like to be hand fed by our naked butler "
sounds good to me |
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"Pie please? Chicken pie with roast potatoes, green beans and a Yorkshire pudding. Sticky toffee pudding with custard and maybe a cheesecake on the side. Diet because I gotta watch them calories
Chicken pie, roast potatoes with a Yorkshire pudding on the side? Marry me "
Oh yes, just let me finish me tea first  |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"I.N, you've had a busy day, take a pew and let me make you a coffee."
Woah woah. Hang on there.
I have been doing most of the cooking, cleaning, i have sustained an injury that I.N has still not seen too.
|
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"5 course..
Home made vegetable soup
Prawn cocktail
Lamb biryani
Cheesecake
Coffee and mints
Of course my lady, would you like to be hand fed by our naked butler
sounds good to me "
I am being over worked here.
I shall be over shortly. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will go for my favourite bouillabaisse two dish soup. If your skills can't stretch to that, will go for a hearty beef bourguignon with some crusty bread. Thanks.
Yep, you're right, culinary skills are shite Beef bourguignon on its way away young man
That will do, thanks and pour another glass please.
IN, phew! I have seen your culinary skills. Get on with the bouillabaisse. Stop pretending.
Culinary skills.....is that what you call it?
Don't tell everyone about what we did with the rolling pin. I must admit I didn't think it would fit in there either, but who knew! "
Well, you didn't need to prove it. |
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"I.N, you've had a busy day, take a pew and let me make you a coffee.
Woah woah. Hang on there.
I have been doing most of the cooking, cleaning, i have sustained an injury that I.N has still not seen too.
"
Apologies, help yourself to the Cruzcampo. I'm a first aider so can apply plasters and bandages with a certain panache if needed |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?"
Just got home from thirteen and a half hour shift
Go for prawn cocktail starter
Mixed grill to finish
With large Pepsi max strawberry
Ta |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"I.N, you've had a busy day, take a pew and let me make you a coffee.
Woah woah. Hang on there.
I have been doing most of the cooking, cleaning, i have sustained an injury that I.N has still not seen too.
Apologies, help yourself to the Cruzcampo. I'm a first aider so can apply plasters and bandages with a certain panache if needed"
Why thank you. Very kind of you good sir. |
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By *ill74Man 40 weeks ago
New forest area |
"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
Just got home from thirteen and a half hour shift
Go for prawn cocktail starter
Mixed grill to finish
With large Pepsi max strawberry
Ta "
Sit yourself down and relax. It's on order. |
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"Will74 and I are your naked chefs for the day (you lucky devils! ) the oven is on, the hob is hot.
Place your orders and we'll bring it right over
Whatcha having?
Just got home from thirteen and a half hour shift
Go for prawn cocktail starter
Mixed grill to finish
With large Pepsi max strawberry
Ta
Sit yourself down and relax. It's on order."
Thank you |
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