FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I invisible
Am I invisible
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You do know everyone has a personal preference also attitude goes a long way towards being polite. Nobody wants to talk to a woah is me character. It gets too depressing and needy. While yes you have a nice body. Some people perfer a more fluffier guy etc. it’s one of those. Happy hunting I guess.
Charlotte. X |
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"You do know everyone has a personal preference also attitude goes a long way towards being polite. Nobody wants to talk to a woah is me character. It gets too depressing and needy. While yes you have a nice body. Some people perfer a more fluffier guy etc. it’s one of those. Happy hunting I guess.
Charlotte. X"
I never knew I came across as a woah is me character! Please tell me how I am if you don’t mind |
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I just meant in general making a post about being invisible or not getting replies etc. it comes up abit childish. I did have a read of your profile that part is great. You have described what you want. Which a lot of people leave blank lacking the interesting parts x |
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"I just meant in general making a post about being invisible or not getting replies etc. it comes up abit childish. I did have a read of your profile that part is great. You have described what you want. Which a lot of people leave blank lacking the interesting parts x"
I understand what you mean about the needy post! But it was a genuine question that is all |
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Some posts say it all, leaving little uncertainty etc. And others may reply or comment on others, because of other things than their exact comment.
Best to contribute without wanting more, as others may pick up on this and avoid it. Your expectations are all. Enjoy the giving  |
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"Hahaha so I’m just wondering if I’m invisible or am I just not to the regular person commenting on these threads as I seem to be overlooked by most when commenting on posts "
I see you. But crikey it is rather late for people to be responding- mostly asleep, working or out having the time of their lives I imagine.
Don't take it to heart about being "overlooked" on the forums. It's a tough place to crack. Keep posting & the more you do more people will.start to reply.
As in anything in life there will.always be people who seem more popular than others . . . This is just one of those places.
Good luck with being seen x |
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"Hahaha so I’m just wondering if I’m invisible or am I just not to the regular person commenting on these threads as I seem to be overlooked by most when commenting on posts
I see you. But crikey it is rather late for people to be responding- mostly asleep, working or out having the time of their lives I imagine.
Don't take it to heart about being "overlooked" on the forums. It's a tough place to crack. Keep posting & the more you do more people will.start to reply.
As in anything in life there will.always be people who seem more popular than others . . . This is just one of those places.
Good luck with being seen x "
Best response of the night thank you for sharing your thoughts |
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By *oxy jWoman 40 weeks ago
somerset |
op do you know the ratios of the site if you do then you'll realize to most you will be invisible just because of the ratio's
then add in to that that most people are not compactable full stop
then add into that alot are not even looking for men they are here just for couples and women then you'll realise that not many if any will be interested 95% of men get nowhere ever 4% will get bits and the 1% will have a freat time
people will tell you dont worry theres someone for everyone but the blunt truth is there not ..the simple truth is its a very very hard scene for men how far you get will depend on how much you put into it .... good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Hi OP,
Invisible men is a common theme and posted under different topics.
I read on one such topic that people look at the author and then reply to that person.
Over time, cliques have formed. Irrespective of what the topic or the content of the post, the cliques will be replying to each other.
That’s also why, often some posts don’t take off. If you happen to be part of a clique, the discussion will be supported, other wise it will just taper off. Not always, but often.
Hence, don’t take it personally if you are ignored.
Personally, I learn a lot from what people post. May not agree, but like to know people’s views.
I don’t look at the person, I look at the post. If I have something to contribute, I will. I don’t expect others to agree with my views, but it’s my way of contributing to the forum.
The single man is the least desired person agreed. That’s ok if you’re considering a Meetup.
But in terms of a discussion, it should be on the content rather than the author. But that’s life. The bright side is you will in time start messaging someone who finds that what you have to say is interesting.
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"op do you know the ratios of the site if you do then you'll realize to most you will be invisible just because of the ratio's
then add in to that that most people are not compactable full stop
then add into that alot are not even looking for men they are here just for couples and women then you'll realise that not many if any will be interested 95% of men get nowhere ever 4% will get bits and the 1% will have a freat time
people will tell you dont worry theres someone for everyone but the blunt truth is there not ..the simple truth is its a very very hard scene for men how far you get will depend on how much you put into it .... good luck"
Thats relevant to the entire site. But the OP is about the forums and being skipped over. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Hi OP,
Invisible men is a common theme and posted under different topics.
I read on one such topic that people look at the author and then reply to that person.
Over time, cliques have formed. Irrespective of what the topic or the content of the post, the cliques will be replying to each other.
That’s also why, often some posts don’t take off. If you happen to be part of a clique, the discussion will be supported, other wise it will just taper off. Not always, but often.
Hence, don’t take it personally if you are ignored.
Personally, I learn a lot from what people post. May not agree, but like to know people’s views.
I don’t look at the person, I look at the post. If I have something to contribute, I will. I don’t expect others to agree with my views, but it’s my way of contributing to the forum.
The single man is the least desired person agreed. That’s ok if you’re considering a Meetup.
But in terms of a discussion, it should be on the content rather than the author. But that’s life. The bright side is you will in time start messaging someone who finds that what you have to say is interesting.
"
I agree, I read that certain people will only respond to certain profiles, so I can see how being skipped over can be frustrating
Such a shame that sometimes a whole thread can be unread because people go after popularity |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Hi OP,
Invisible men is a common theme and posted under different topics.
I read on one such topic that people look at the author and then reply to that person.
Over time, cliques have formed. Irrespective of what the topic or the content of the post, the cliques will be replying to each other.
That’s also why, often some posts don’t take off. If you happen to be part of a clique, the discussion will be supported, other wise it will just taper off. Not always, but often.
Hence, don’t take it personally if you are ignored.
Personally, I learn a lot from what people post. May not agree, but like to know people’s views.
I don’t look at the person, I look at the post. If I have something to contribute, I will. I don’t expect others to agree with my views, but it’s my way of contributing to the forum.
The single man is the least desired person agreed. That’s ok if you’re considering a Meetup.
But in terms of a discussion, it should be on the content rather than the author. But that’s life. The bright side is you will in time start messaging someone who finds that what you have to say is interesting.
I agree, I read that certain people will only respond to certain profiles, so I can see how being skipped over can be frustrating
Such a shame that sometimes a whole thread can be unread because people go after popularity "
It's easy to take it personally but best not to, i.e. no expectation of a response. Sometimes it's because of the content of the post rather than who's posting it. Happens to me a lot when replying to threads so I don't take it personally but also don't often post my own threads.
Also depends what is meant by invisible. I'd hope that the responses to this thread reaffirm to the op that he's not invisible?
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The more you post the more people get to know you & the more replies you'll get.
Waiting 10mins at 1.30am wasn't really a great start - maybe try when most are awake and active it kinda seemed a little overly sulky given the time and expected response timeframe.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Welcome to fab
It might look like you are ignored, but what I will say is people read a lot, and take it in if they like someone, they just don’t need to answer every post as someone else probably has said what they were going to.
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"you wont get anywere until you get in the clique  "
Agreed.
But I for one don’t like being part of a clique. Limited views. More people participating = more variety = more ideas. |
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By *oxy jWoman 40 weeks ago
somerset |
"op do you know the ratios of the site if you do then you'll realize to most you will be invisible just because of the ratio's
then add in to that that most people are not compactable full stop
then add into that alot are not even looking for men they are here just for couples and women then you'll realise that not many if any will be interested 95% of men get nowhere ever 4% will get bits and the 1% will have a freat time
people will tell you dont worry theres someone for everyone but the blunt truth is there not ..the simple truth is its a very very hard scene for men how far you get will depend on how much you put into it .... good luck
Thats relevant to the entire site. But the OP is about the forums and being skipped over."
yes i realise that now  oh well
these forums can be a funny place and theres a reason they are so small compared to the whole site .. i use them because i can i have my opinions others have theirs some cant handle others opinion some will ignore newbies or men in general but dont let that put anyone off just keep osting as and when you want alot of people dont like my bluntness in the forums but i dont care what others think im not here to be part of thier little groups ...but at the same time you can't make people take notice of you ...
what i said earlier about how hard it is for men that applies for the whole scene from meeting to chatting to the forums or the chat rooms but why let it bother you it a tiny part of fab 1% or 2% us it |
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Try getting involved in other topics at more sociable hours, creating a post at silly o’clock then replying ten mins later just comes across all wrong, best way to start a convo is by just voicing your opinions on other people’s topics, help someone else first not be all about yourself,, better to give than to get dude, once you start chatting to people they can see what type of person you are not all about pics |
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By *archelCouple 40 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
We've participated in forum threads and said threads have been hijacked by clique members where they've basically turned the thread into a general conversation between themselves which was totally off topic of said threads...rude af on their part, should have taken the conversation to pm instead of ruining what was meant to be a fun thread. This happened directly after we posted, and not just on one occasion either.
Is that the type of behaviour you're getting at? I'm presuming that is what this post is about.
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By *avexxMan 40 weeks ago
cheshire |
"We've participated in forum threads and said threads have been hijacked by clique members where they've basically turned the thread into a general conversation between themselves which was totally off topic of said threads...rude af on their part, should have taken the conversation to pm instead of ruining what was meant to be a fun thread. This happened directly after we posted, and not just on one occasion either.
Is that the type of behaviour you're getting at? I'm presuming that is what this post is about.
"
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By *eplerMan 40 weeks ago
Weybridge |
I don’t use Fab for the Forum. I post once in a while because I feel like it. Whether someone reads it or not is irrelevant.
If you want to engage with others, this is the way to do it, by posting a topic of discussion but you might want to try something less disparaging about yourself. |
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"Hahaha so I’m just wondering if I’m invisible or am I just not to the regular person commenting on these threads as I seem to be overlooked by most when commenting on posts "
It's happened to everyone at some point. Your face needs to fit with some people. Keep posting though, you'll find your tribe |
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"We've participated in forum threads and said threads have been hijacked by clique members where they've basically turned the thread into a general conversation between themselves which was totally off topic of said threads...rude af on their part, should have taken the conversation to pm instead of ruining what was meant to be a fun thread. This happened directly after we posted, and not just on one occasion either.
Is that the type of behaviour you're getting at? I'm presuming that is what this post is about.
"
Sorry that happened. People can be so rude, I guess they think they're being funny or edgy. Report it next time because the rules are clear about not derailing threads |
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This place can be a tough crowd. I've started what I thought were interesting threads before and received 0 replies. Not sure if that's worse than a thread being hijacked or not. I think as long as you're nice/funny and show some personality, people will start to notice and include you more. It's tough when you're not known here, as there are so many that have been here chatting to each other for years |
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"The more you post the more people get to know you & the more replies you'll get.
Waiting 10mins at 1.30am wasn't really a great start - maybe try when most are awake and active it kinda seemed a little overly sulky given the time and expected response timeframe.
Mrs "
^ this |
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By *eliWoman 40 weeks ago
. |
Op, there are certain threads and times where you're more likely to get a response.
I do think sometimes it can be difficult for people to be acknowledged if their face isn't known. Maybe post what you want to, when you want to because you want to without expecting a reply? I'm not always acknowledged. It happens, deliberately or otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I'm rarely acknowledged but I don't post on here to be noticed.
People form friendships on here and away from here which spill over into the forums, which is quite natural. You just keep being you. |
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By *ustBoWoman 40 weeks ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I doubt you are invisible but it can feel like that quite often on here for a lot of people.
Especially if you go against the grain and don't follow popular opinions all the time just because it's the expected.
Also if you are posting so late at night then the chances are most people will be asleep.
But at the end of the day it's just a forum on fab and not really something to be bothered about.The majority of people on fab don't even look on the forums and don't give a toss about the popularity of people on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"When you hear a sound
That you just can't place
Feel something move
That you just can't trace
I'm the invisible man, I'm the invisible man.... "
*
Shouts in the style of Freddy - “DirtyDevil!…” |
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The forums are just random people all over the place posting their thoughts.
It isn't a reflection on you if you have no replies. It is just the way it is that day.
Post whatever makes you happy and toodle on about your day. It is the best way to view it.
MrsAbz |
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We all want to be seen…after all the reason we post pics or comment on forums is because there is an exhibitionist side in all of us.
The challenge for a single bloke is that it isn’t really possible to stand out unless you have an amazing profile.
So it is really just a case of being patient and hope to find occasional connections.
I may be wrong…but it’s a theory. |
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Fab is like a carnival mirror. What it's reflecting back isn't really a reflection on you.
There's lot familiarity in any online forum. Regulars often talk amongst themselves in any thread they like and will often ignore newbies as they come go quickly.
That's just the way forums work. It's not unique to fab and I wouldn't take it personally.
You can get stuck in and you'll find that it doesn't take long to become a familiar face and people will be calling you a part of the 'clique' in no time at all! |
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By *TG3Man 40 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I just meant in general making a post about being invisible or not getting replies etc. it comes up abit childish. I did have a read of your profile that part is great. You have described what you want. Which a lot of people leave blank lacking the interesting parts x
I understand what you mean about the needy post! But it was a genuine question that is all "
many huys on here get their comments /threads ignored at some point secret is don't worry about it at some point you'll say something controversial and you'll get all the attention you need |
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By *TG3Man 40 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"I just meant in general making a post about being invisible or not getting replies etc. it comes up abit childish. I did have a read of your profile that part is great. You have described what you want. Which a lot of people leave blank lacking the interesting parts x
I understand what you mean about the needy post! But it was a genuine question that is all many guys on here get their comments /threads ignored at some point secret is don't worry about it at some point you'll say something controversial and you'll get all the attention you need "
guys |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Many folk are already sexed up.
Dry patches hit some of us. To be expected.
Go to a club meet perhaps.
Company is hard to catch the last few years.
It is quiet for many on fab.. You are not alone op. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"We've participated in forum threads and said threads have been hijacked by clique members where they've basically turned the thread into a general conversation between themselves which was totally off topic of said threads...rude af on their part, should have taken the conversation to pm instead of ruining what was meant to be a fun thread. This happened directly after we posted, and not just on one occasion either.
Is that the type of behaviour you're getting at? I'm presuming that is what this post is about.
"
I have noticed what you mentioned. Often the OP’s views are attacked or a spin put in order to steer the narrative.
In this post, the main topic is the OP being invisible over a period of time. Most single men experience it. Many women experience too.
However, his one comment 10min after original post, is taken out of context and twisted to steer the narrative.
The narrative is now that he is invisible because he posted at night hours.
(Thousands work night hours, once again silent majority view is suppressed by vocal minority)
This subtle twisting of words to comandeer the narrative is seen often.
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I'm rarely acknowledged but I don't post on here to be noticed.
People form friendships on here and away from here which spill over into the forums, which is quite natural. You just keep being you."
That’s a good attitude.
There are many that appreciate your post,but don’t reply. But each one is equally important, whether acknowledged or not. |
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"Hahaha so I’m just wondering if I’m invisible or am I just not to the regular person commenting on these threads as I seem to be overlooked by most when commenting on posts "
I think a lot of us men feel invisible most of the time. It's so easy to get lost in the wash as there are so many of us on here.
I've been on and off this site for, I don't know... at least 10 years and the only person I've met on here, I knew anyway and we didn't hook up as a result of us being on here.
I'm still here though and I'm still hopeful! I guess you could call me a blind optimist (which anyone who knows me personally would wet themselves laughing at!)
Try not to let that invisible feeling crush your spirits. As long as you're visible to yourself, that's ultimately what matters. |
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