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By *r_reus OP Man 40 weeks ago
Coventry |
I recently heard about the case of Ashlynn Black on Youtube.
I know not everyone has sex on a first meet on here, but those who do, how much focus do you ever place on your safety, and consider the risks of who you may be going home alone with? |
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I'm assuming you mean personal safety as to safe sex.
We have safe words which we can use discreetly if we feel something isn't right. If we are back home I do have cctv. Other than that I'm not sure how safe I can make things |
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By *r_reus OP Man 40 weeks ago
Coventry |
"I'm assuming you mean personal safety as to safe sex.
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Yes I mean personal, I doubt a condom would be much of a deterrent against a dangerous partner unless you were able to thwap them in the eye or something? |
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I don't have sex on first meets but everyone has a different interpretation of what personal safety actually means to them.
Over the years I've had a number of well verified women insist that we could only meet in their homes.
I refused every one of those because I couldn't see how giving their address to me and other complete strangers and allowing us into their homes could be safe.
I also refused because on my very first fab meet 8 years ago I was physically attacked in an hotel room by a woman I had already met socially on two previous occasions.
I didn't feel physically threatened by her and she did it as part of her particular kink and wanted me to retaliate but there was the possibility of all sorts of consequences even though I told her I had no interest in shit like that and walked out.
My personal safety is equally as important as that of anyone I meet and because of that experience I don't meet anyone without at least one social and even then only after weeks or sometimes months of chatting.
I am also aware of people being removed from chatgroups for predatory behaviour and following women home from socials.
The thing that amazes me is that some women who were also in those groups and fully aware of this behaviour have still invited these men into their homes sometimes in a professional capacity to carry out repairs etc and sometimes for sex.
I genuinely don't get it. |
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I think any man worth his salt would insist his partner had safety nets in place.
First off a social drink, in public, during the daylight. She’ll have someone who knows where she is, and to check in every few hours. I never touch or impose myself unless invited to do so.
Something and anything that makes them safe, even when trust has been established.
Good discussion for the forum this. I’m flippant on most posts, but this has to be seriously taken. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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It's mutual to both sexes, but to different degrees. Women understandably need to be careful about their safety in terms of physical harm and abuse. Men need to be safe, not just in terms of physical safety, but future wellbeing. Living in this day and age, one false accusation from a woman you don't 100% trust, will end your career, your life, your wellbeing.
Everyone needs to be safe and trusting of those they meet. |
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By *iasubTV/TS 40 weeks ago
Ilkeston |
It’s definitely applies to everyone. The number of times i have been touched unwanted is more than i can count. Thats why predominantly i only meet people in clubs that way its probably the safest place to be as everyone tends to have the same view of inappropriate behaviour. If someone doesnt want to meet in a club they are not for me unfortunately. My safety is way more important than any sex. |
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"I'm not sharing my tactics.
But yes, of course I've thought about it. I'm female, I engage in the world, and I'm older than about five. Anyone in that category thinks about it a fair bit."
I don't blame you, and as for posting red flags on here, that just goes anyone with nefarious intensions a list of things not to do or say. |
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If I'm going somewhere, even just a social, I'll send my location on WhatsApp to friends and a photo of who I'm with. Then check in and let them know when I'm home. Possibly even their car reg, not that I get into cars very often, for exactly those safety reasons! |
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I never have sex on the first meet.
I never meet for alcohol the first time, only coffee (harder to spike a coffee).
I only meet at his place, not a hotel or similar.
I set up an email to the address and his photo to a friend a few hours after I’m supposed to be back along with my login details for pretty much everything relevant. If I don’t get home in time to cancel the email then they know what I’ve done.
I never agree to be tied up until I know them well.
I never get in a car with a man until I know them well. |
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