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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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I saw some threads saying they were bored of the same topics
So here’s one for y’all;
Lesbianism and masculinity. I consider myself a pretty masculine dyke and have no shame in it. However if you saw me in the street you wouldn’t think that I was a butch dyke; my dress is often masculine but I don’t conform to the standard often outdated visions of butch dykehood.
There’s also the fact that while my gender is lesbian and I was born female; part of me feels so masculinely aligned that I find myself thinking I AM a male of some evenings; prompting a bout of gender dysphoria if it really sets in dead, or just a reminder that no matter how hard I try I’m not Patrick Bateman.
Nonetheless, I think the overlap between lesbianism and masculinity is often forgotten because people automatically assume masculinity = manhood. Lesbians experience masculinity in such a different way to men; the same as how we experience femininity in such a different way to women.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put it down in words, but to quote Lana Del Rey
‘If you’re asking yourself, “how do you know?”
Then that’s your answer, the answer is know.’
Which i think encapsulates everything I wanted to say. |
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"I saw some threads saying they were bored of the same topics
So here’s one for y’all;
Lesbianism and masculinity. I consider myself a pretty masculine dyke and have no shame in it. However if you saw me in the street you wouldn’t think that I was a butch dyke; my dress is often masculine but I don’t conform to the standard often outdated visions of butch dykehood.
There’s also the fact that while my gender is lesbian and I was born female; part of me feels so masculinely aligned that I find myself thinking I AM a male of some evenings; prompting a bout of gender dysphoria if it really sets in dead, or just a reminder that no matter how hard I try I’m not Patrick Bateman.
Nonetheless, I think the overlap between lesbianism and masculinity is often forgotten because people automatically assume masculinity = manhood. Lesbians experience masculinity in such a different way to men; the same as how we experience femininity in such a different way to women.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put it down in words, but to quote Lana Del Rey
‘If you’re asking yourself, “how do you know?”
Then that’s your answer, the answer is know.’
Which i think encapsulates everything I wanted to say."
Isn’t lesbianism your sexuality rather than gender? Or am I miles off the mark?
One of my friends is very laddish. She is more masculine than some men that I know. She is also as straight as an arrow, with a husband and four children.
I know I’m rambling here, but I think what I mean is that the sexuality and the masculinity aren’t always hand in hand. |
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I think at one point it was an affectation wheen people couldn't be as open about it. I dont believe it's true any longer. I'm Cis mostly het and i definitely have traits that could be identified societally as male and others as female. But its all an illusion. |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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Lesbians have a wide range of gender expression - I don't think there's really a strong link between a lesbian sexual identity and a masculine gender identity. Most lesbians I know are much more on the feminine end of the spectrum anyway.
(Although I should clarify that I don't think this means anything in terms of how anyone should self-identify - we get to decide these things for ourselves, so you do you  ) |
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I would say I am your mirror in terms of sexuality (I am only attracted to masculinity) however I have addressed my gender dysphoria by formally transitioning, living full time as female. So I now consider myself "Straight", actually more like "Bi-neutral", I am not offended having sex with women.
Aside from Phalloplasty (surgery to create a penis), all other Female to Male interventions (testosterone injections, top surgery aka removal of breasts, hysterectomy) can be extremely successful. Trans Men, once they get hormone (testosterone) and top surgery can pass very easily.
So is this discussion about being more visible as a Butch Lesbian who is managing their mild to moderate GD (Gender Dysphoria)?
British society is certainly is much more neutral about Butch Women and Fem Boys. |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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Life really is too busy and short to waste your time with gender/identity navel gazing. Most people really don’t mind/care how you identify, your characteristics or traits until it affects them directly.
Be yourself, by yourself, for yourself.
Just like everyone else. |
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"Life really is too busy and short to waste your time with gender/identity navel gazing. Most people really don’t mind/care how you identify, your characteristics or traits until it affects them directly.
Be yourself, by yourself, for yourself.
Just like everyone else. "
So true and I am being myself now.
You say "most people don't care / mind" is certainly true when strangers in the supermarket queue or bus.
But I've had family rejections, have been through many over qualified interviews and unsuccessful; or been in great relationships where in the end he wasn't brave enough to openly declare his love for a trans woman.
It is those people who've had/has issues and has affected my life greatly. |
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"Life really is too busy and short to waste your time with gender/identity navel gazing. Most people really don’t mind/care how you identify, your characteristics or traits until it affects them directly.
Be yourself, by yourself, for yourself.
Just like everyone else. "
Totally agree
7.9 billion people in the world, DNA wise all the same but we are also individually different, we are what we are and labels are not necessary, and please do t ask me to join in as I will refuse. |
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"Life really is too busy and short to waste your time with gender/identity navel gazing. Most people really don’t mind/care how you identify, your characteristics or traits until it affects them directly.
Be yourself, by yourself, for yourself.
Just like everyone else. "
Standard on point answer as ever! |
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"Life really is too busy and short to waste your time with gender/identity navel gazing. Most people really don’t mind/care how you identify, your characteristics or traits until it affects them directly.
Be yourself, by yourself, for yourself.
Just like everyone else. "
Well said |
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