FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > If Fabbers behaved like that in real life…
If Fabbers behaved like that in real life…
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Don’t pass them by’ everywhere you go someone stops and hounds you in the street.
‘Sucks like a Dyson’ randomly people sucking shit up like a Dyson everywhere.
‘Treat them with respect’ people curtsying you as you pass.
‘Fab to fuck me’ someone offering a fab lolly and proceeding to get their bits out.
What other Fab cringe cliche’s in there and what would it mean in the real world?
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"manners cost nothing" shouted at people who ignored you smiling and winking at them |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Great thread OP  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I want these to be made into mini scenes |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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My truck is parked up over there, fancy giving me a blow job? |
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Shouting “Not my first rodeo!” while doing whatever people on rodeo are doing. |
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Standing outside their hotel and offering random women "faf". |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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The queue of men in public toilets to take their selfies would be ridiculous... |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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You know that scene in Get Out where they’re doing the silent auction over Chris? That’s a great depiction of racial fetishisers on here. And great- the scene already exists |
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Misinterpreting someone in the street and getting on your high horse to correct them, others join in and the person wonders WTF is going on. |
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Professional people unable to show their faces in public |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Shouting ‘Treat her nice’ to the queue outside the hotel room after you leave. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Professional people unable to show their faces in public"
People wearing suits with balaclavas |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Professional people unable to show their faces in public"
Spat out my Diet Coke  |
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Men hiding behind the cutouts of a couple. |
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Some of you don't get out often.
They already walk among us.  |
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Naked guys walking around with lynx cans and sky remotes |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Men screaming their penis size at you as an introduction. |
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Getting turned down in the pub.
"I'm a nice guy who was just giving you a chance, you disgusting fat slag. No man will ever want you!" *throws drink in her face* |
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Loads of people walking around in monochrome with boom operators holding clever lighting following them in tow. |
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"Men screaming their penis size at you as an introduction. "
*leans in to shout in your ear*
“ACTUALLY IT’S ABOVE AVERAGE SIZE IF YOU CHECK THE NATIONAL DATA.” |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Men in the streets shouting out when they'll be at the dogging site |
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Someone actually pissing on women
K |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Men screaming their penis size at you as an introduction.
*leans in to shout in your ear*
“ACTUALLY IT’S ABOVE AVERAGE SIZE IF YOU CHECK THE NATIONAL DATA.”"
*removes measuring tape from pocket*
Let’s see. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Approaching people and saying hello as an introduction, getting a response of ‘is that it?’ |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Fancy a beej, im discreet" |
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Say hi to a woman at the bar and she looks you up and down then says “Do you have any verifications from people you’ve fucked in the last two weeks?” |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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‘You kinda open yourself up to me flashing by being outside’ |
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A guy standing on his own asking why no females will talk to him.
The camera pans out to intriguing music and realises there are fuck loads of single men crying like this not too far apart. |
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Women walking away from men that have never measured their penis, mid convo. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"A guy standing on his own asking why no females will talk to him.
The camera pans out to intriguing music and realises there are fuck loads of single men crying like this not too far apart. "
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Announcing the next day that you had sex |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Someone's talking loudly about a list of physical traits they are extremely attracted to, you walk up to them with all off those, try to talk to them and they look past you blankly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Women eyeing up butternut squash at Tesco  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Getting on really well with someone and then they just get up and walk away after finally looking up at your face |
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Using a can of lynx as a measuring device |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Getting on really well with someone and then they just get up and walk away after finally looking up at your face"
(Can’t relate) |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Using a can of lynx as a measuring device"
School kids bringing cans of lynx to their maths tests |
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"Using a can of lynx as a measuring device
School kids bringing cans of lynx to their maths tests"
Teacher getting flustered |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Watching a group discussion and pulling people aside privately throughout to share your opinions with them |
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Saying they are sociable but aggressive AF |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Ask someone a simple question, and they can answer yes ……,or ignore you for a ‘polite’ NO answer.. .. 
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Having random adults say ‘hi daddy’ to you  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Eminem blaring guess who's back to announce someone's return |
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“Right, I’m going to the bar. Who wants another drink?”
"First!"
"In."
"IN."
"I’m in."
"IN!"
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Women wandering around with their tits out, mostly on Tuesdays. |
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"Women wandering around with their tits out, mostly on Tuesdays."
Mmm if only |
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Yup, I've definitely fucked at work... uh, sorry boss, didn't know you could hear me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Someone walks up to you in the street and points over at his friend “my handsome mate wants you to know…”
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Asking a random stranger to tell another random stranger that I fancy them.
Waiting at the bar for a drink, when a random cock is flipped down beside me. “-Hey stunner. WUU2” |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Someone walking up to you to chat you up with their cock out and in your face as close as possible to have such a zoomed in view it looks massive. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Just guys walking around making microwave noises.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm" |
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Best thread in a long time. Lets hear it for the OP |
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By *TG3Man 40 weeks ago
Dorchester |
Men with their penis avatars trying to poke your eye out |
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Between 10pm and midnight on Fridays lots of people knocking on your door and asking "wuu2?"
B |
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Random men walking up to you in the street with their cocks out |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Between 10pm and midnight on Fridays lots of people knocking on your door and asking "wuu2?"
B"
A big fat sweaty old man rolling on a condom and saying can I fuck your Mrs, you wouldn’t get that in your normal cinema! Grim |
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Finding yourself laughing out loud when people innocently use abbreviations such as - bbw, bbc, |
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"Between 10pm and midnight on Fridays lots of people knocking on your door and asking "wuu2?"
B
A big fat sweaty old man rolling on a condom and saying can I fuck your Mrs, you wouldn’t get that in your normal cinema! Grim"
They must think if youre a couple on here you're just on the site to pimp out your wife for free |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Strangers asking to be friends |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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So so funny.
This thread definitely evolved into something wonderfully different.
They need to make a mini series of all of these suggestions! |
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"Strangers asking to be friends"
Strangers are basically Newbies .we were all in that position to start with. |
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By *stellaWoman 40 weeks ago
London |
In the queue for the public toilet discussing if you’re about to squirt or piss. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Strangers asking to be friends
Strangers are basically Newbies .we were all in that position to start with. "
I was referring to friend requests from people who've never messaged me. It's rude and I block them |
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Literally just read someone write this on a forum convo thread
"Love your pics send more of tits and arse "
The thread wasn't even anything relating to this. Totally out of context
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Husband offering aloud their naked wives on all fours in every corner of the Island.
People approaching you to ask “Please, verify me” or saying randomly “You are stunning”
People saying “Happy Fabbing” instead of “Have a nice day” |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Chatting with people for a while and then they suddenly get up and walk off without saying a word. |
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"Naked guys walking around with lynx cans and sky remotes"
Amd Ruby balls |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Dominant Bull’, proceeds to run round on all fours head bumping people |
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"Naked guys walking around with lynx cans and sky remotes
Amd Ruby balls "
Unfortunately that's standard on tour...and Cardiff |
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"‘Dominant Bull’, proceeds to run round on all fours head bumping people "
I actually lol'd at that |
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"saying randomly “You are stunning”"
When they haven't even seen your face!
People hiding themselves every now and then
People leaving society but then coming back because they couldn't stay away
'Don't pass them by', so you have to avoid walking past them |
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Someone saying hello to you you say hi back, how's your day going, then they blank you.. |
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Ladies walking round with a bag on their heads saying 'fab me for a face pic' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Discreet’, men dressed like the Milk Tray man in old school shop door ways peering over |
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By *stellaWoman 40 weeks ago
London |
[Removed by poster at 20/02/24 17:27:12] |
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By *stellaWoman 40 weeks ago
London |
Writing up a little Trip Advisor-esque account of your interaction with everyone you’ve ever met or Zoom called with for them to display like a trophy.
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Asking a woman on a date but she wants to know if you've shaved your balls first. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Asking a woman on a date but she wants to know if you've shaved your balls first."
Asking a woman on a date but she demands you shave your beard off |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"saying randomly “You are stunning”
When they haven't even seen your face!
"
Somebody told me they got 100's of messages like this up with no pics up at all |
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Love this thread haha
People regenerating in the street announcing 'BEEN HERE BEFORE, I KNOW HOW IT WORKS ' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Looking for a Sub’, men near water with a big magnifying glass |
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By *stellaWoman 40 weeks ago
London |
Men standing outside a Travelodge shouting at random women “I’ve booked a hotel room…” |
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A man putting notes through every door in the road letting them know that he's in the area. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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After having a shag.…. Hours later they leave a pile of flyers outside their house describing everything they got up to that night for everyone to read if they want to.  |
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Overweight guy stood next to a ripped Adonis. The chubster is looking worried and the Adonis has a smile.
An attractive lady passes by and chats to them both but walks away with the tubby little munchkin.
The bronzed God looks perplexed and scratches head. He asks all around him WTF is going on.
He doesn't realise the other two just had a quiet chat and she said goodbye to him around the corner.
* Delete chubby and Adonis, insert skinny/small/tall/clean shaven/bearded/bald/tattooed anywhere in the story. Same result. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Men frozen in random poses all over the town waiting for the continuation of the conversation that was going so well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Block list is growing’, Ladies holding scrolls up and pointing at this growing list! |
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By *34jayMan 40 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Introducing someone with "well what can I say" |
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"‘Dominant Bull’, proceeds to run round on all fours head bumping people
I actually lol'd at that "
Me too. I even snort-laughed |
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By *aizyWoman 40 weeks ago
west midlands |
A man stopping a woman in the street and saying, hi, nice to meet you, I'm just passing through, only here for a couple of days for work. FAF back at my hotel? I can lick for hours! |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Strangers asking to be friends
Strangers are basically Newbies .we were all in that position to start with. "
thought this was random adds |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Opening your window and shouting ‘who’s awake?’ At 1 am |
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‘Send face pic with first message or you’ll get blocked’
Men standing there with a Polaroid in hand.
Women carrying around a No-Entry sign |
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Women everywhere distinctly unimpressed by men saying "Hi" to them  |
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Been here before- feelings of deja vu. |
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Standing in the queue for a Greggs sausage roll, bloke behind flops his cock out.
Woman turns around, pulls her top and bra down and says are these big enough for ya  |
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By *batMan 40 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
People walking around town saying they will prosecute anyone who takes their picture.
Gbat |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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People asking women if they’re interested because they looked at them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"People asking women if they’re interested because they looked at them. "
Wait  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Everyone dressing in black and white on Mondays |
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All those people - they know who they are. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Man walking up to woman
“Hey do you want to see me cum”
Woman ignoring
Man walking up to same woman again
“Hey do you want to see me cum”
Woman ignoring
Man….: |
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Many couples would only have the female out and about, because the male is shy or doesn't have any outfits to wear.
Someone you've just met would start telling you in graphic detail what they'd like to do to you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Heavy cummer’, men with their semi-see-through white mess on digital scales everywhere with ridiculous weights being displayed!
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Men wondering why women don't drop their knickers at a 'great tits' or 'amazing body' opening line. |
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Men would ask other men they meet, if they want to see their wife's naked pics or swap their knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Man approaches woman.
"Hi, you're stunning, love your pics, would you like to meet?"
"Thank you but not interested"
"Thanks for letting me know"
5 days later same man approaches same woman.
"Hi, you're stunning, love your pics, would you like to meet?"
Woman walks off.
Man stands there bemoaning how rude women are. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Wandering round asda pulling cucumbers out of a woman vag |
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Men who could actually breath through their ears. |
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By *l3106Man 40 weeks ago
London |
"‘Heavy cummer’, men with their semi-see-through white mess on digital scales everywhere with ridiculous weights being displayed!
"
this one is halarious |
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"Professional people unable to show their faces in public"
That’s so me |
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There’s deffo some Fab Straight and Sydney University puns to be thrown about here |
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
People sitting in Costa drinking skinny soya lattes with extra cream pointing at everyone in the queue whilst shouting 'kiss', 'fuck' or 'pass'. |
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Someone liking your comment in the work teams chat and wondering why you didn’t realise that was them shooting their shot |
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"There’s deffo some Fab Straight and Sydney University puns to be thrown about here"
Sydney university is really not that interesting |
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Walk up to you say hi with a kiss, walk away come back 3 weeks later and do it again
Approach a total stranger say hey hun/babes/gorgeous and ask them to be best friends
Walk up to you dick out and walk off
Stroll past asking have you had any fun lately and keep on walking.
Tell you their girlfriend really likes you too but she’s very shy, so if you could just wait there and talk to them she’ll come out to chat later too; honest |
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"There’s deffo some Fab Straight and Sydney University puns to be thrown about here
Sydney university is really not that interesting "
That’s where I got my degree from as far as my employer is concerned |
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A group of people chatting away blissfully having a good craic. Someone comes in, throws a 'shit grenade' then leaves.
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"A group of people chatting away blissfully having a good craic. Someone comes in, throws a 'shit grenade' then leaves.
"
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A female winks from across the road. The bloke gets a raging hard on. Winks back. He tries to play it cool and doesn't follow up. She does the same. The guy waits the mandated 30 days, sees the woman again and winks... |
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By *yzykMan 40 weeks ago
Stirlingshire |
Folk wandering around at late o'clock carrying skis looking for snow |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"There’s deffo some Fab Straight and Sydney University puns to be thrown about here
Sydney university is really not that interesting
That’s where I got my degree from as far as my employer is concerned "
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"There’s deffo some Fab Straight and Sydney University puns to be thrown about here
Sydney university is really not that interesting
That’s where I got my degree from as far as my employer is concerned "
I got 15 GCSEs all A*-A according to my CV |
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Man walks up to woman "Scuse me luv, have you got the ti..."
Woman: "BLOCKED!!" |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Blind fella walks around the city full off nothing but women telling each one how stunning they are. |
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3 people are stood there on the corner discussing dad jokes...
One guy says to the other two people
"Did you hear the one about the Englishman, then Irishman and the Scotsm...."
Suddenly from out of nowhere someone appears and takes offense that there wasn't a Welshman involved.
As if this wasn't bad enough, 4 gentlemen on horses wearing gleaming white robes gallop in and say that actually there are no women mentioned either.
The people at the sides, roll their eyes and take a few backward steps. Some go to the nearby sweetshop and buy popcorn. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Asking a woman at the gym how many sets they have left on a machine and them lecturing me on how Asian men are always pushy. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 40 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
While sitting reading your post in a coffee shop, a young guy clearly 30 years younger than you walks up, whips out their penis, waves it in your face and says "daddy's gunna ruin you, baby girl".
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Half the brickies and construction workers would vanish every week.
*think about it....... |
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"Asking a woman at the gym how many sets they have left on a machine and them lecturing me on how Asian men are always pushy."
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 40 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Politely declining a request to go to their place with a guy results in him shining a bright light in your face and interrogating you about why you're not meeting, and what a shame it is. |
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The local postman/woman getting fed up with having to post 200 plus envelopes through each of the woman's letterboxes in the village |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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A lot have tickled me, but this is a killer! |
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Sydney University’s student at the supermarket's front door asking: Could you answer a short survey for research? |
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Before it closes OP. Wonderful thread.
There have been some crackers recently. Yours #1 for me. Even beating TOT |
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The guy who insists he is completely straight looking at my groin constantly. |
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By *mf123Man 40 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
God no it would test my self control to the limit its hard enough in real life with all the come ons |
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I would be stuffed as I actually can't wink! |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Not being able to say "Hello, how are you?" to someone you first meet because they are just bored of that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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"Folk wandering around at late o'clock carrying skis looking for snow"
A lot have tickled me, but this is a killer!
My previous reply didn’t quote! |
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Lad standing in a room delivering the same C&P message to 20 women. |
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Hubs offering their wives to bulls market/auction style |
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By *batMan 40 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Seeing people in the market place, but when you try to talk to them they can’t hear you as you’ve been filtered out.
The filtering seems worse after your birthday.
Gbat |
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People actually got degrees in research from sydney University |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Thirsty |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Walk past a wall and a shadow asks to suck me dry. |
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A bunch of men sat in the same room, holding out their phones
"Anyone for a phone call?!"
"My call now"
"Anyone horny right now?!"
"GET IN TOUCH!'
"ANYTHING GOES, MY CALL!!" |
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"Using a can of lynx as a measuring device"
Or a can of monster or a banana had both
The banana and the monster were both bigger than the … |
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By *lueLotusWoman 40 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"Half the brickies and construction workers would vanish every week.
*think about it....... "
Turning up to work and announcing loudly "I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK THE WHOLE SITE" |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Having to explain in a restaurant why the specials aren't for you . |
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Half the brickies and construction workers would vanish every week.
*think about it.......
Turning up to work and announcing loudly "I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK THE WHOLE SITE" "
No.
Half are leaving.
'User No Longer On Site' |
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By *mf123Man 40 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"I would be stuffed as I actually can't wink!"
as long as you can do the mcds eyebrow thing you will be ok
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By *lueLotusWoman 40 weeks ago
the wilderness |
"Half the brickies and construction workers would vanish every week.
*think about it.......
Turning up to work and announcing loudly "I'M NOT HERE TO FUCK THE WHOLE SITE"
No.
Half are leaving.
'User No Longer On Site' "
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Imagine a real world where the word 'come' is constantly misspelt. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Loads of people stood outside Broadcasting House seeking bbc |
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Women shouting rules about who can and can't speak to them
Masked men with their cocks out approach them anyway |
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"The local postman/woman getting fed up with having to post 200 plus envelopes through each of the woman's letterboxes in the village "
Hahaha |
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Minding your own business when a guy walks up and cums on you whilst proudly informing you that they've tributed you
Em x |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Sydney University’s student at the supermarket's front door asking: Could you answer a short survey for research? "
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By *bi HaiveMan 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
You're sat having a heated discussion over something completely pointless in Starbucks with a complete stranger.
And then someone dressed as an extra from Quadrophenia walks up, stops you from saying anything further and sends you off to sit on the fire exit steps round the back for two days to consider your actions........
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By *stellaWoman 40 weeks ago
London |
Only opening your post if someone has put your specially requested word/phrase on the envelope. |
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I think we are going to need a compilation of the choicest gems from this thread, which should then be available as what other websites know as a 'Sticky'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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"I think we are going to need a compilation of the choicest gems from this thread, which should then be available as what other websites know as a 'Sticky'."
Agree, been some proper laugh out loud belters! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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‘Cum dump’, a new section at the Household waste recycling centres where there is a new container filled to the brim cum with women swimming in it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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[Removed by poster at 21/02/24 13:48:01] |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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Hung and accommodating’, person hung in a noose with families occupying their property!
‘Love bareback’, people riding horse or ponies with no saddle everywhere!
‘Fill me up’, a line at the petrol pump from people begging to be filled up!
Apologies, I know the thread has run its course - but just saw these three and now can’t stop visualising most statuses as if it was a sketch show!
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A group of people are talking and it looks interesting...someone is desperate to join it but there have been 173 comments made already... |
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....he braces himself and walks up. He is just about to open his mouth and add value when... |
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Someone else comes in and starts to talk instead... |
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...the thread closes and he remains silent. |
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UK news. The National Trust starts a new fundraising campaign, to help to prolong a new ruin, appearing at a rate of several each day. . Not buildings, these are people who have been ruined
DIY chains report record profits, from the numbers of back doors smashed in.
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