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Cultural Differences in FWB Relationships
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Hey everyone, I wanted to start a discussion about how cultural differences can impact FWB relationships. Have any of you encountered someone from a different cultural background with whom you had a great hookup but found it difficult to maintain a stable FWB dynamic due to those differences? I'm interested in hearing your experiences and how you navigated these challenges. Being an italian living in Uk i am directly involved with this matter.
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I don't think the cultural differences between the UK/London and most of Western Europe are so different it would cause problems for me.
I have a Moroccan friend who I'm learning from about his culture, but I'm not a total noob to the Islamic culture.
What problems are you encountering? |
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I think if you're culturally aware and don't try to foist your culture on someone new you can overcome any differences.
I think most of my issues would be how they treated women, and how they expect women to behave.
The problems I have come across with men online is they assume as I'm British I'll be a slut in bed for them.
That's not men from here, either.
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I wrote about this before on a post and perhaps it was one of yours.
I used to only seek others with a culture similar to mine until last year. For me, it was simply easier to be understood and to understand others as FWB when we shared similar cultures. That’s not to say that’s always true.
I have been open to experiences with those outside of my culture. It has been a different experience but what I’ve discovered is that there are those who are willing to listen, learn, understand, and discover that which is outside of their own ‘normalcy’ and that’s a gain for myself as well as them. |
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Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions. |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions."
Can you give us some examples?
I know we aren't supposed to drink cappuccino after breakfast time.
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By *ay9971Man 45 weeks ago
Manchester |
"When/if I visit my friend I'm fully prepared to wear modest clothing and a head scarf when needed.
He'll keep me safe, and direct me."
Don’t know why but I really find this attractive….and I’m Muslim  |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions."
As in put your head down and carry on versus directly addressing the issue that is bothersome straight on and sorting it? |
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I can relate. I had a long term relationship with a continental European woman.
Irish people don't really talk about our feelings and avoid confrontation on a genetic level.
After years in a relationship learning to do the opposite, the effect on my now single life liaisons with Irish women is notable.
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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With FWBs it has no impact but with relationships I think it can. Particularly around things like food. But also for me around the culture I consume. I want to be able to be watch the shows and films I like, listen to the music I listen to, talk the way I talk etc. and with a partner it’s important to be able to do that without judgement but also I want to do those things WITH my partner.
I think food, music, language, film and references are the ones that I notice most and sometimes that make me consider fit in a partner.
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions."
Of course. You forgot to write that Italians do everything "better" To tell the truth, Italian exceptionalism is quite similar to British exceptionalism |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Of course. You forgot to write that Italians do everything "better" To tell the truth, Italian exceptionalism is quite similar to British exceptionalism"
But with better food |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Of course. You forgot to write that Italians do everything "better" To tell the truth, Italian exceptionalism is quite similar to British exceptionalism
But with better food"
Naturally |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I think what’s really interesting is for example, though my fiancé is white, there’s lots of cultural similarities with us. Language we speak. Culture we consume. Foods we enjoy. If there wasn’t an embracing of CULTURE then it wouldn’t work. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Hey everyone, I wanted to start a discussion about how cultural differences can impact FWB relationships. Have any of you encountered someone from a different cultural background with whom you had a great hookup but found it difficult to maintain a stable FWB dynamic due to those differences? I'm interested in hearing your experiences and how you navigated these challenges. Being an italian living in Uk i am directly involved with this matter.
"
I did experience prejudice when dating ladies from different countries/cultures. Some couples were even slightly offended when they learned where I was born. I'd say it was a typical experience of a foreigner living in a foreign country even if that country is very much my home. |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Of course. You forgot to write that Italians do everything "better" To tell the truth, Italian exceptionalism is quite similar to British exceptionalism"
I’m not sure that’s what he was saying at all! Perfect example of jumping to conclusions perhaps…?
E |
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"When/if I visit my friend I'm fully prepared to wear modest clothing and a head scarf when needed.
He'll keep me safe, and direct me.
Don’t know why but I really find this attractive….and I’m Muslim "
Me in a headscarf? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"When/if I visit my friend I'm fully prepared to wear modest clothing and a head scarf when needed.
He'll keep me safe, and direct me.
Don’t know why but I really find this attractive….and I’m Muslim
Me in a headscarf? "
I have very good memories of local ladies from mg visits to the Middle East. I haven't had a chance to play with one in London for the last 12 years. Not sure what to make of it. I see it as challenge I suppose |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Can you give us some examples?
I know we aren't supposed to drink cappuccino after breakfast time.
"
I thought you can drink cappuccino at any time, but espresso is a breakfast drink and requires sugar, preferably standing up at a counter
G |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions."
Are you sating that it's uk culture to jump to conclusions? That's definitely one I haven't heard before. |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Can you give us some examples?
I know we aren't supposed to drink cappuccino after breakfast time.
I thought you can drink cappuccino at any time, but espresso is a breakfast drink and requires sugar, preferably standing up at a counter
G"
I would never have espresso with sugar and I sometimes have it sitting down but of course keeping an eye out to make sure nobody sees me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Can you give us some examples?
I know we aren't supposed to drink cappuccino after breakfast time.
I thought you can drink cappuccino at any time, but espresso is a breakfast drink and requires sugar, preferably standing up at a counter
G
I would never have espresso with sugar and I sometimes have it sitting down but of course keeping an eye out to make sure nobody sees me. "
There are two espresso drinking rituals I manged to observe in Italy. One is done sitting down at a table, alone or with mates and it involves taking half a day to drink a tiny cup of espresso; the other can be seen in a side street in Rome at a cafe where the locals go, mostly young women rushing to get to work. There is no sitting down, they are all standing up. It is pure chaos of baristas and young women flirting and I have no idea how they manage to keep track of ordrers, but I love it. |
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By *ay9971Man 45 weeks ago
Manchester |
"When/if I visit my friend I'm fully prepared to wear modest clothing and a head scarf when needed.
He'll keep me safe, and direct me.
Don’t know why but I really find this attractive….and I’m Muslim
Me in a headscarf? "
Yeah, you in a headscarf would give me an instant hard on xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Can you give us some examples?
I know we aren't supposed to drink cappuccino after breakfast time.
I thought you can drink cappuccino at any time, but espresso is a breakfast drink and requires sugar, preferably standing up at a counter
G
I would never have espresso with sugar and I sometimes have it sitting down but of course keeping an eye out to make sure nobody sees me.
There are two espresso drinking rituals I manged to observe in Italy. One is done sitting down at a table, alone or with mates and it involves taking half a day to drink a tiny cup of espresso; the other can be seen in a side street in Rome at a cafe where the locals go, mostly young women rushing to get to work. There is no sitting down, they are all standing up. It is pure chaos of baristas and young women flirting and I have no idea how they manage to keep track of ordrers, but I love it. "
Not many will sit down for an espresso or a group drinking espressis because there would be a cover charge for sitting.
Most people will drink an espresso at the counter, not in a takeaway cup, with or without sugar, with or without milk staining it (some cold, others hot). The only takeaway coffees I have seen in Italy, during my years living there, were frozen coffees out of corner shops like an ice cream.
The one rule about cappuccino is never after breakfast. It gives you a bad stomach/impedes digestion. |
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I don’t think so. I’ve dated a lot of Asian & Black women & people who are liberated sexually tend to be mostly free of those kind of cultural things. South Asian often less so, I’ve been told I was fine for dating or FWB, but anything more I was the wrong colour and wrong religion !
I found they place more value on traditional and socio-economic rather than cultural values. They generally want men to be men and treat them like women. Strange that hey
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"With FWBs it has no impact but with relationships I think it can. Particularly around things like food. But also for me around the culture I consume. I want to be able to be watch the shows and films I like, listen to the music I listen to, talk the way I talk etc. and with a partner it’s important to be able to do that without judgement but also I want to do those things WITH my partner.
I think food, music, language, film and references are the ones that I notice most and sometimes that make me consider fit in a partner.
"
That can be an issue with people from the same culture though. I find age and personality much more important for matching media and food than culture.
One of the things I really enjoy is cooking with partners of different culture, you really learn how to cook and they take the piss out what you think is your expertise in Indian or Thai cooking
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"With FWBs it has no impact but with relationships I think it can. Particularly around things like food. But also for me around the culture I consume. I want to be able to be watch the shows and films I like, listen to the music I listen to, talk the way I talk etc. and with a partner it’s important to be able to do that without judgement but also I want to do those things WITH my partner.
I think food, music, language, film and references are the ones that I notice most and sometimes that make me consider fit in a partner.
That can be an issue with people from the same culture though. I find age and personality much more important for matching media and food than culture.
One of the things I really enjoy is cooking with partners of different culture, you really learn how to cook and they take the piss out what you think is your expertise in Indian or Thai cooking
"
It is culture though. More subculture I suppose but I’m counting it |
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"With FWBs it has no impact but with relationships I think it can. Particularly around things like food. But also for me around the culture I consume. I want to be able to be watch the shows and films I like, listen to the music I listen to, talk the way I talk etc. and with a partner it’s important to be able to do that without judgement but also I want to do those things WITH my partner.
I think food, music, language, film and references are the ones that I notice most and sometimes that make me consider fit in a partner.
That can be an issue with people from the same culture though. I find age and personality much more important for matching media and food than culture.
One of the things I really enjoy is cooking with partners of different culture, you really learn how to cook and they take the piss out what you think is your expertise in Indian or Thai cooking
It is culture though. More subculture I suppose but I’m counting it "
Yeah I guess so , op never mentioned different races or nationality, you are right it can cultural sometimes - Sunday dinners, KFC ,Instant Coffee, Eastenders, Coronation st or it can just be tastes , it’s a tricky one…. |
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"Maybe i have just been unlucky to meet the wrong women"
I don’t know what the actual problem is because you’ve not said.
But if you keep having the same problem over and over in your dating life, then the odds are that it’s not them, it’s you. |
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"Maybe i have just been unlucky to meet the wrong women
I don’t know what the actual problem is because you’ve not said.
But if you keep having the same problem over and over in your dating life, then the odds are that it’s not them, it’s you."
Have i said i am having the same problem over and over? Second i am not talking about romantic dating but friend with benefit. I only have these issues with few women. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"…..
I don’t know what the actual problem is because you’ve not said.
But if you keep having the same problem over and over in your dating life, then the odds are that it’s not them, it’s you."
Wow. That’s an assumption.
So it’s me!
*Woody forgets about ever dating again, and deletes every app from his phone. …. |
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"…..
I don’t know what the actual problem is because you’ve not said.
But if you keep having the same problem over and over in your dating life, then the odds are that it’s not them, it’s you.
Wow. That’s an assumption.
So it’s me!
*Woody forgets about ever dating again, and deletes every app from his phone. …. "
If the same thing keeps happening with multiple different women in your life then the problem is likely to be you. That’s not nice to hear, but honesty therapy is life-changing.
Got a mate who always moans that all his ex’s are “crazy”? Well, he’s the one selecting them, he’s the one treating them in particular ways, and he’s the one who has the problem - I bet they’re all fine in their other relationships.
When all your partners seem to have the same or a similar flaws perhaps the problem is you, not them. |
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"Maybe i have just been unlucky to meet the wrong women
I don’t know what the actual problem is because you’ve not said.
But if you keep having the same problem over and over in your dating life, then the odds are that it’s not them, it’s you.
Have i said i am having the same problem over and over? Second i am not talking about romantic dating but friend with benefit. I only have these issues with few women."
Apologies if I misunderstood - your OP sounded to me like you were having the same problem with multiple partners. Having reread it, I see that you don’t specify how many partners you’ve had this problem with. |
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"Italian culture is so so different than british one that it cannot be denied. Everything we do in Italy is different and inevitably those differences, at least in my case, have had an inpact on someone causing issues because instead of working things out it is much easier to jump into conclusions.
Are you sating that it's uk culture to jump to conclusions? That's definitely one I haven't heard before. "
Jumping to conclusions is definitely a culture on fab forums |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Oh boy do I have some things to say on this. But Fab isn’t the space.
But you said it in the very next message anyway? Indecision is alive and well in all cultures! Hooray! "
I didn’t say actually. I said some stuff. Obviously not the things my post refers to.
Like what even is this rn? |
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