FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Stop messaging first
Stop messaging first
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"I might try it. I'd like to think not but I'll report back next weekend.  Bet
Oh. 
You saying I don't have friends?
Cool. Cool. Cool. Coool."
No sorry I’m saying like bet. Do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel. "
Yeah you’re mad boring |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"And do the conversations stop?"
Do you mean message them first like first message of the day?
I only message once they have messaged back. Its reply for reply.
If their message is low effort or something I can't respond to I assume they are busy or lost interest so I don't reply unless they hit me up again.
But I don't double message people, unless it's someone that I've spoken to for a while and consider a mate kinda. In that case I might reach out to see if they are OK.
If I've messaged them and keep seeing them online and they havnt replied for a while and normally they reply in good time i take that as a hint and I delete the chat and leave em be.
I wernt quite sure what you meant so you have my full chat guideline.
There's rules to this shit  |
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"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "
That’s how I tend to play it as well. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 46 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"And do the conversations stop?"
Sometimes.
But thats to be expected. Especially if you have testicle because inboxes if you have tits fill up quite quickly apparently and it's easy for someone to get sidetracked or just bulk delete. Which, assuming you don't want to be seen to message twice without a response, means you'll left be sat wondering.  |
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"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel.
Yeah you’re mad boring"
Totally am, plus I have a massive tendency to go off on tangents. Which on here, I appreciate can be annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel.
Yeah you’re mad boring
Totally am, plus I have a massive tendency to go off on tangents. Which on here, I appreciate can be annoying. "
You’re welcome to annoy me Frida. |
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If they message I'll usually reply and maintain the momentum (and interest) of messaging. If they are expecting me to keep the conversation flowing, with little or no reciprocal chat, then I lose interest. |
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I sometimes leave a little land mine, where they can either just stop chatting or have to think to keep the conversation going themselves. If they do keep the conversation going at that point, then I'm happy to keep driving it. |
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As a guy I'd guess mostly they do, unless you've built up a rapport with the person. If they do I don't take no offence, conversing a woman on fab, you're competing with millions of other guys, it's often not even deliberate just over stimulated with messages to wade through. Personally I don't message through fab any longer I go to organised socials and interact in person, not so many single blokes there to have to compete with. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do
That’s how I tend to play it as well."
Yip works well |
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By *aizyWoman 46 weeks ago
west midlands |
"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "
This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them! |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do
This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them!"
Yip same always feel it’s better to leave the ball in they court |
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"And do the conversations stop?"
Sadly yes in most cases !, we'd hope for something more equal, mutual interest and effort... Strange how most of them claim great interest in us, probably just pic collectors or simply want to be 'chased'. |
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By *stellaWoman 46 weeks ago
London |
"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.
Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off "
You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.
Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off
You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful. "
I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky  |
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By *stellaWoman 46 weeks ago
London |
"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.
Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off
You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.
I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky "
You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.
Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off
You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.
I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky
You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work? "
Girl
I BEEN messaging you |
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By *stellaWoman 46 weeks ago
London |
"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.
Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off
You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.
I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky
You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work?
Girl
I BEEN messaging you"
Oh my bad. |
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"Eh ? If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?"
Nope. Most men seem to either keep messaging (even if you've never replied to them) different messages or go into a loop with the same ones. It's quite scary to see how many messages they can send with both replies. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 46 weeks ago
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"Eh ? If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?
Nope. Most men seem to either keep messaging (even if you've never replied to them) different messages or go into a loop with the same ones. It's quite scary to see how many messages they can send with both replies. "
I don’t mean just on fab. Sorry |
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Ive got a friend like this, I won't send her anymore messages, as it's always me making contact.
It generally takes her days to respond, she doesn't work anymore or have any caring responsibilities.
I last texted about 5 weeks ago, it took her 5 days to respond and she didn't even really refer to anything I'd said.
I appreciate people have their own lives and stuff going on, but it feels pretty much like a total lack of interest in me, so I've deleted her number.
I can't be arsed with one sided friendships anymore. |
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"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "
I do same on here  |
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By *ags73Man 46 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court
So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do
This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them!"
This.
I try to keep messaging if it goes back and forward, but if it feels that I’ve messaged and they’re not responding then I leave it with them.
Only so much of the time, you should have to carry the ball and if someone’s not bothered then they won’t answer |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"And do the conversations stop?"
It’s very transactional here. I’m done here in many ways, and maybe a bad fit for me.
most conversations which have value in life are not transactional. If I end up in a transactional convo I quickly lose the inertia to speak. Someone who wants to chat, chats off piste and just goes for it, is a winner in my eyes.
The only person doing all the talking is you Stephen.
Your turn…
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"If the conversation stops I'll probably send one more message if I like them.
If it stops again I'll leave it alone, don't want to be on the receiving end of like Mrs Shiv said.
Em x"
Ooooh you and Mrs Shiv on the same bed... Page! I meant page!  |
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Depends.
There's people I chat to on fab in what I think of as open ended conversations. There's lulls in the chat and no pressure to reply. I like those. It's a nice way to keep in touch with someone I know id like to meet but time and circumstances push that possibility into the future.
If don't get a reply I don't over think it. I might send a follow up after another little while and would leave it there. It the chat dies all that means is that there wasn't enough collective energy there to keep a chat going. |
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