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Best female friend
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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Here it goes she fall out with this lad as he can't accept her having male best friend but they stayed friends she I said I see you om Saturday thwts tonight I call you at lunch time today she didn't then I found out she having meal with him tonight. If she told me I would have been OK with it but she doesn't tell me I felt I been pushed out since xmas just because she got man in her life she doesn't have to push me out
I ask her about this she said she is not pushing me out but I feel she is I want her to be happy. I feel like I wanna give her piece of my mind next time I speak to her whqt do you guys think |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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Hi OP
My opinion only, but, maybe its time to put yourself out there to make new friends or mates. For me there's a big difference in friends and mates.
For me, there's friends that will stick with you through thick and thin, and then theres mates, people you have some interests with and have a laugh with.
Your friend sounds like she wants to be a mate, not a friend anymore. it's good that you are happy if she's happy but I think maybe you are asking to much of her now. And you are only upsetting yourself.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, we all don't know what it's like to be in your position and can only offer what we'd do.
But it sounds like a one sided friendship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Hi OP
My opinion only, but, maybe its time to put yourself out there to make new friends or mates. For me there's a big difference in friends and mates.
For me, there's friends that will stick with you through thick and thin, and then theres mates, people you have some interests with and have a laugh with.
Your friend sounds like she wants to be a mate, not a friend anymore. it's good that you are happy if she's happy but I think maybe you are asking to much of her now. And you are only upsetting yourself.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, we all don't know what it's like to be in your position and can only offer what we'd do.
But it sounds like a one sided friendship"
if she called me I would have been fine with her going for meal with him to sort things out but she not connected med thqts why am sad and feel pushed out
Whqt do you meqn one sided friendship |
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People shouldn't say they'll do something then not do it
The way I see things is that you'll either have to speak to her as we suggested before or accept that she's going to be a bit flakey.
This has been upsetting you for a while hasn't it |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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"Not sure whqt you meqn when you said 1 sided friendship"
You are invested in the friendship. From previous posts you've wrote it seems that you chase her for the friendship and she doesn't exactly seem bothered to keep the friendship with you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Are you sure you don’t want more than friendship from her being as you got upset that she was meeting him ? Let her be as it sounds as though you want more from her "
am happy for her I wish she connected me to let me know
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Are you sure you don’t want more than friendship from her being as you got upset that she was meeting him ? Let her be as it sounds as though you want more from her "
I am happy for her I just want best firend but I wish she called me
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"People shouldn't say they'll do something then not do it
The way I see things is that you'll either have to speak to her as we suggested before or accept that she's going to be a bit flakey.
This has been upsetting you for a while hasn't it"
u try to speqk to her she been treating me like mug but she say she hasn't |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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Also, you wrote that you feel pushed out that she has a man and you are her best friend. Some people cannot juggle with having a man, and a male best friend. Some people will choose the man and if that's the case then wish her well and move on.
You deserve a friendship returned equally |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Don't be a door mat, call her and call her out, absolutely give her the piece of your mind."
been trying but she not answering am gonna let her call me I hqve sent her some messages telling her how I feel
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Also, you wrote that you feel pushed out that she has a man and you are her best friend. Some people cannot juggle with having a man, and a male best friend. Some people will choose the man and if that's the case then wish her well and move on.
You deserve a friendship returned equally"
he said he couldn't accept her having male best friend I wouldn't have minded if she said am going for meal with him tonight when she was pose to come round here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Hi OP
My opinion only, but, maybe its time to put yourself out there to make new friends or mates. For me there's a big difference in friends and mates.
For me, there's friends that will stick with you through thick and thin, and then theres mates, people you have some interests with and have a laugh with.
Your friend sounds like she wants to be a mate, not a friend anymore. it's good that you are happy if she's happy but I think maybe you are asking to much of her now. And you are only upsetting yourself.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, we all don't know what it's like to be in your position and can only offer what we'd do.
But it sounds like a one sided friendship"
whqt you meqn 1 sided friendship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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If she called me saying am going for meal with this lad and I see you next time I wouldn't have minded
But 1 post said she seems she doesn't want best friend anymore I am thinking that right now |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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I match someone else's energy, if they seem off I check in with them to see if they are ok in general as sometimes people go through shit that makes them seem off. If they say they are fine and are still off with me I leave them to it.
I'm not chasing anyone.
If its like a real friend that I know I can trust ill always be there for them but I'm still not gonna chase them, they can chat to me when they are ready to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"I match someone else's energy, if they seem off I check in with them to see if they are ok in general as sometimes people go through shit that makes them seem off. If they say they are fine and are still off with me I leave them to it.
I'm not chasing anyone.
If its like a real friend that I know I can trust ill always be there for them but I'm still not gonna chase them, they can chat to me when they are ready to."
thanks for thwt |
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I think you’ve talked about her on the forums before and it sounds like she takes advantage of your good nature from the things you’ve described. Don’t let people take advantage of you, you are allowed boundaries, even with best friends. I hope things work out whatever way you want them to  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"I think you’ve talked about her on the forums before and it sounds like she takes advantage of your good nature from the things you’ve described. Don’t let people take advantage of you, you are allowed boundaries, even with best friends. I hope things work out whatever way you want them to "
thanks same here I wish she called me when she said but she didn't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"I know someone. She feels pushed out by her friend, that has just got a new boyfriend. The dynamic always changes. Sorry. "
how is she acting to it
She felt pushed put when her best friend was seeing new guy she ended it but I don't really wanna end this friendship |
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"I think you’ve talked about her on the forums before and it sounds like she takes advantage of your good nature from the things you’ve described. Don’t let people take advantage of you, you are allowed boundaries, even with best friends. I hope things work out whatever way you want them to thanks same here I wish she called me when she said but she didn't "
I can understand how you feel, I’ve made that mistake before, trying to be the best friend but putting too much emotion into the situation. I think a few others have said it already, and I saw you don’t drive so it makes it difficult, but you should think about yourself more and try and make new friendships. It doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends with her but it’ll give you more in life to see other friends. I live a long way from you so I don’t know if there’s any local clubs or group social meets you could sign up for? Try something like that to take your mind off your feelings about your friend. Good luck!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"I think you’ve talked about her on the forums before and it sounds like she takes advantage of your good nature from the things you’ve described. Don’t let people take advantage of you, you are allowed boundaries, even with best friends. I hope things work out whatever way you want them to thanks same here I wish she called me when she said but she didn't
I can understand how you feel, I’ve made that mistake before, trying to be the best friend but putting too much emotion into the situation. I think a few others have said it already, and I saw you don’t drive so it makes it difficult, but you should think about yourself more and try and make new friendships. It doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends with her but it’ll give you more in life to see other friends. I live a long way from you so I don’t know if there’s any local clubs or group social meets you could sign up for? Try something like that to take your mind off your feelings about your friend. Good luck! "
:I would have sent you privet le message reassert ckub to me ifs Clib f in Durham but on night time it's hard to get there and it would cost £30 or £40 in taxi |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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"People shouldn't say they'll do something then not do it
The way I see things is that you'll either have to speak to her as we suggested before or accept that she's going to be a bit flakey.
This has been upsetting you for a while hasn't it u try to speqk to her she been treating me like mug but she say she hasn't "
At times, when someone’s actions don’t match their words you have to ask yourself if you stick around or walk away. Actions typically speak louder than words.
You don’t have to feel like a mug of you have a friend in her. If you can’t talk to her about this, ask yourself if you are finding joy in the friendship as it it and if not, find other ways to bring joy into your life without her in it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"People shouldn't say they'll do something then not do it
The way I see things is that you'll either have to speak to her as we suggested before or accept that she's going to be a bit flakey.
This has been upsetting you for a while hasn't it u try to speqk to her she been treating me like mug but she say she hasn't
At times, when someone’s actions don’t match their words you have to ask yourself if you stick around or walk away. Actions typically speak louder than words.
You don’t have to feel like a mug of you have a friend in her. If you can’t talk to her about this, ask yourself if you are finding joy in the friendship as it it and if not, find other ways to bring joy into your life without her in it. "
thqnkw I been asking myself thwt but I cant walk away been friends for so long and she said same thing to me while ago now am not sure
Last time she sent me texts to say she was meeting him but I didn't gwt them till next day that what might have happened but I wish she would had called me |
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By *mf123Man 41 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is "
sorry am struggling to work out what your saying |
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By *mf123Man 41 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is sorry am struggling to work out what your saying "
friends are like cats one minute there rubbing your legs or licking your face with sand paper tongues the next minute there out of the door never to be seen again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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"Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is sorry am struggling to work out what your saying friends are like cats one minute there rubbing your legs or licking your face with sand paper tongues the next minute there out of the door never to be seen again "
that is whqt am feeling noe mate |
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By *mf123Man 41 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
"Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is sorry am struggling to work out what your saying friends are like cats one minute there rubbing your legs or licking your face with sand paper tongues the next minute there out of the door never to be seen again that is whqt am feeling noe mate"
i know bud its a shitty feeling to experience but you can only control whats in your control showing your upset will likely push her away faster in my experience and that road leads to insanity hell why am i giving advice im insane  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 40 weeks ago
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"Friendships are a hardship to sail when the world is full of storms
Reality is you can only control what you can control and thats you be who you are if she wants to run from that fighting it will only make her push you away faster probly the truest truth there is sorry am struggling to work out what your saying friends are like cats one minute there rubbing your legs or licking your face with sand paper tongues the next minute there out of the door never to be seen again that is whqt am feeling noe matei know bud its a shitty feeling to experience but you can only control whats in your control showing your upset will likely push her away faster in my experience and that road leads to insanity hell why am i giving advice im insane "
thanks |
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