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Getting pregnant to young in life.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 41 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
I was watching a movie called grandma and in the movie, there was a scene in the car where the granddaughter talked to her grandma of how she wanted an abortion, she was in her mid 20s or so.
Her grandma wondered why she wanted to get an abortion, she replied with, because I am still too young to go through with it. I still want to live life, to explore, travel and go to the university, she added that some people can do it at her age and some dont snd I cant do it.
Whilst I understand that she might of been too young and wanted to do many things before hand. I hink that in their 20s is a good age, because you would have your parents for a longer time.
What is your view about it, is there such a thing as the perfect time to get pregnant where you feel nothing gets in the way of it?  |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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Yip I am not touching this thread I have no opinion on this subject
All I will say it’s they body it’s up to them when they feel right to no one should hold that against them |
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By *edeWoman 41 weeks ago
the abyss |
I do not think there is ever a perfect time to have children but I also do not judge someone who makes the incredibly hard choice to not bring a child into the world because they do not feel ready. It is not a selfish choice in my opinion, it is a brave choice that they have to live with forever.
I had my son at 15. I was too young but I made a choice. I do not regret it but I often wish I could have been a better mum for him and think I would have been if I had been older  |
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By *sWyldWoman 41 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
I had my boys very young. I was 17. It was hard. It was lonely. It was has been tough for many years. I missed out on life in so many ways.
However I worked my ass off to still build a career and now, my youngest is 16 and it's my time to live for me more. It's great. I'm loving life and still young enough to.
I wouldn't recommend the path I took to anyone really but equally it's made me who I am and I've got 3 amazing sons.
My middle son is almost 18 and in quite a serious relationship. I'm hoping there are no children anytime soon as I want them to live and enjoy their lives first.
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By *hrimper36Couple 41 weeks ago
Central France dept 36 |
"Yip I am not touching this thread I have no opinion on this subject
All I will say it’s they body it’s up to them when they feel right to no one should hold that against them "
That’s very strange because you did indeed just touch this thread.
A baby is a gift from your god Shag is how some people would view this topic even if it is film related but my opinion is as a father of five that a child is the best thing that can happen to any one at any time of life after a certain age.
Obviously certain criteria comes in to play with certain situations such as abuse cases and underage accidents but I’m all for parenthood and the joys it brings.
T |
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I wanted the career the home etc before I had kids and that's what I did, I was 33 with my 1st and 36 with my 2nd - now my health went bad during pregnancy and the newborn stage broke me both times.
If I could choose I'd do it when I was younger, you can't plan and account for everything things go wrong etc, I wish I had a little more energy with the kids but I'm slightly broken.
I struggle to see a time I can be me again, when the kids are older I'll be in my 50's
Don't get me wrong I love my kids to bits I just wish I could do more with them, I feel like a failure 90% of the time & I'll be honest I miss me....the me that wasn't just mum I don't really know who I am anymore it's hard, it's been a huge change & I don't do change well, not just the kids but my body, my mental health and my whole life.
Personally I think I'd have adapted better if I'd done it younger I can't say for certain though.
Mrs
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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We had our children very young, fortunately I had a career I could keeping working in but did involve me being away a lot.
I look back at some of them missed moments with sadness, but I also look back with a big smile because we created some awesome memories. A lot of it was due to still being young and so energetic.
Plus now, we get to live your typical naughty teenage/twenties life now in our 30s but with all the knowledge gained. |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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"Yip I am not touching this thread I have no opinion on this subject
All I will say it’s they body it’s up to them when they feel right to no one should hold that against them
That’s very strange because you did indeed just touch this thread.
A baby is a gift from your god Shag is how some people would view this topic even if it is film related but my opinion is as a father of five that a child is the best thing that can happen to any one at any time of life after a certain age.
Obviously certain criteria comes in to play with certain situations such as abuse cases and underage accidents but I’m all for parenthood and the joys it brings.
T"
Not exactly |
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There isn’t a perfect time but one thing I find sad sometimes is the fact they could miss out on grandparents having kids late. My parents were 48 when I had my eldest. At 27 years old she still has all 4 grandparents and has an amazing relationship with all of them. That is so special. |
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"I was watching a movie called grandma and in the movie, there was a scene in the car where the granddaughter talked to her grandma of how she wanted an abortion, she was in her mid 20s or so.
Her grandma wondered why she wanted to get an abortion, she replied with, because I am still too young to go through with it. I still want to live life, to explore, travel and go to the university, she added that some people can do it at her age and some dont snd I cant do it.
Whilst I understand that she might of been too young and wanted to do many things before hand. I hink that in their 20s is a good age, because you would have your parents for a longer time.
What is your view about it, is there such a thing as the perfect time to get pregnant where you feel nothing gets in the way of it? "
You can't say you've ruined your life having a child that you will love and will love you back unconditionally but if you have aspirations and goals in life at a young age thats a good thing to but if you have them aspirations maybe she should have thought more about protecting against pregnancy its not difficult is it  |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 41 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I think the perfect time is when the person decides she is ready to have a child. It's not up to anyone else go make that decision for them. "
Yes, you are right there, the perfect time is when one is ready to have a child too |
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By *a LunaWoman 41 weeks ago
South Wales |
Having a baby at any age brings challenges and lessons to be learned.
I don’t think there is a “right” age to have children. The right age is an individual thing for that person and what has been going on in their life.
And people can be great or shit parents at any age. |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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I don’t think there’s a right age to have children. Nothing can prepare you for how much it changes your life.
I also wouldn’t judge anyone for deciding what is best for them when it comes to it. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 41 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I do not think there is ever a perfect time to have children but I also do not judge someone who makes the incredibly hard choice to not bring a child into the world because they do not feel ready. It is not a selfish choice in my opinion, it is a brave choice that they have to live with forever.
I had my son at 15. I was too young but I made a choice. I do not regret it but I often wish I could have been a better mum for him and think I would have been if I had been older "
Yes, you are right there, there isnt a perfect time to have have children, it depends on the situation one finds themselves in |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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Financial situation good
Loving marriage
Still stigma for children out of wedlock.
Both want a child
Lose all freedom because a child needs to be nurtured. Going out. Holidays. Lots of support needed as it is different times. Difficult times, sleepless nights, illness, stressful.
I've studied children at university stage and, had friends children, looked after my cousins.
Too old now to have them. Women have menopause where we cannot get pregnant.
Men can impregnate for many years. David Jason had a baby late in age.
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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"Financial situation good
Loving marriage
Still stigma for children out of wedlock.
Both want a child
Lose all freedom because a child needs to be nurtured. Going out. Holidays. Lots of support needed as it is different times. Difficult times, sleepless nights, illness, stressful.
I've studied children at university stage and, had friends children, looked after my cousins.
Too old now to have them. Women have menopause where we cannot get pregnant.
Men can impregnate for many years. David Jason had a baby late in age.
"
I know of many people who fell pregnant at teenage years. They got married, still are married so it does work. |
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People are surprised sometimes when I say I have teenagers. Some colleagues my age have 30-year-old kids and grandchildren…. 
Children never figured in my life plan and I took every possible step to prevent that in my early youth. I was too busy studying, travelling and working and children wouldn’t fit. I also come from a very traditional and to an extent “macho” family/culture so the fear was instilled quite early on…
Then I met and married my husband and he wanted children. We had our first at 31, which I think is still quite young! Generations now are having their first kids at 35+ so they will be older parents/grandparents… |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 41 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
No judgements on anyone for when they have kids.
I've seen it at both ends of the scale.
One person I went to school with, I thought he lived with his grandparents, but he was just a late baby. Funnily enough, even at 14, he was an old man in waiting and hasn't changed since then.
Another friend had a kid at 16 and when we were all together making our plans for Friday night, he had to go and get some bread. It felt like we were in very different worlds back then.
Now, though, his kid will be 32 and he'll have had years with them and many more to come.
 |
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I don't think theirs ever a right time to have kids it don't matter how old you are nothing can prepare you.
We had our kids very young our eldest is almost 30 we were told at the time we would regret it and it would ruin our lives but it definitely didn't.
We might not have been able to go out when we were younger but we are definitely making up for lost time now.
We have made mistakes over the years but I think we would have made those mistakes regardless of our ages.
We are still together and very happy and our kids are well rounded young adults so we must have done some things right and we definitely wouldn't change anything. |
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It's very personal decision I'd say shag.
I never wanted kids and knew this from a young age and so I've never had them.
People had all sorts of opinions on that and weren't shy about asking me why I didn't want or have kids.
Each to their own, I can understand why some people make the hard choice not to continue a pregnancy. Some will feel they're too young/too old maybe if they've had other children. |
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By *ornycougaWoman 41 weeks ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
There are pros and cons of having children earlier or later and as others have said, each to their own. I had my first realtively young. At the time I wasn"t ready - but you never really are. When - or whether - to have children is a personal decision but I now enjoy having an adult relationship with my children and having them off my hands whilst I'm young enough to really enjoy it. |
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"I was watching a movie called grandma and in the movie, there was a scene in the car where the granddaughter talked to her grandma of how she wanted an abortion, she was in her mid 20s or so.
Her grandma wondered why she wanted to get an abortion, she replied with, because I am still too young to go through with it. I still want to live life, to explore, travel and go to the university, she added that some people can do it at her age and some dont snd I cant do it.
Whilst I understand that she might of been too young and wanted to do many things before hand. I hink that in their 20s is a good age, because you would have your parents for a longer time.
What is your view about it, is there such a thing as the perfect time to get pregnant where you feel nothing gets in the way of it? "
Pregnancy at a younger age carries less likely hood of chromosomal abnormalities. The risk of trisomy 21 at age 25 is 1/1250 and at age 40 is 1/100. So from a biological perspective younger is better. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 41 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Financial situation good
Loving marriage
Still stigma for children out of wedlock.
Both want a child
Lose all freedom because a child needs to be nurtured. Going out. Holidays. Lots of support needed as it is different times. Difficult times, sleepless nights, illness, stressful.
I've studied children at university stage and, had friends children, looked after my cousins.
Too old now to have them. Women have menopause where we cannot get pregnant.
Men can impregnate for many years. David Jason had a baby late in age.
I know of many people who fell pregnant at teenage years. They got married, still are married so it does work. "
Hi becs, those are good points too and yes, you are right there, men can wait longer than women can, the longer a woman waits, the chances of getting pregnant gets harder as well.
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I had my third and last child at the age of 21.
I used to think I'd be child-free while I'm still young, then my grandchildren came along; who I babysat as they got older.
Then, when the last one could walk to a from school, and look after himself after school my heart said freedom! and I said that's it, no more child minding, I'm not doing the great-grandchildren.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow |
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There is never a right time I had my oldest children in my early 20s and it was hard.
I worked I got a career and then in my 40s thought I was going through the change and nope I had what I call my menopause baby.
Wasn't ideal but I don't regret him for a minute it's hard I still work I'm more tired but he's worth it. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 41 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Having a baby at any age brings challenges and lessons to be learned.
I don’t think there is a “right” age to have children. The right age is an individual thing for that person and what has been going on in their life.
And people can be great or shit parents at any age."
Yes, you are right there, having a baby bring challenges and lessons to be learned at any age too |
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I've seen women in their 30s struggling with newborns in hospital.
It doesn't come naturally to everyone and with so much literature and new ways of doing things out there, I'm not surprised new mother's feel overwhelmed.
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By *hagTonight OP Man 40 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I wanted the career the home etc before I had kids and that's what I did, I was 33 with my 1st and 36 with my 2nd - now my health went bad during pregnancy and the newborn stage broke me both times.
If I could choose I'd do it when I was younger, you can't plan and account for everything things go wrong etc, I wish I had a little more energy with the kids but I'm slightly broken.
I struggle to see a time I can be me again, when the kids are older I'll be in my 50's
Don't get me wrong I love my kids to bits I just wish I could do more with them, I feel like a failure 90% of the time & I'll be honest I miss me....the me that wasn't just mum I don't really know who I am anymore it's hard, it's been a huge change & I don't do change well, not just the kids but my body, my mental health and my whole life.
Personally I think I'd have adapted better if I'd done it younger I can't say for certain though.
Mrs
"
Yes, you are right there, as you wanted the career and home first too |
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Mum and Dad were in their 20s when they had me and 2 brothers. They are still around unlike a lot of my friends who have lost one or both. Much appreciated what Mum and Dad did. They are here to see grandkids all grow up. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 40 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Mum and Dad were in their 20s when they had me and 2 brothers. They are still around unlike a lot of my friends who have lost one or both. Much appreciated what Mum and Dad did. They are here to see grandkids all grow up."
It is the same here, my parents had me in their early 20s too.
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I was 19 when my eldest was born. Yes I was young, insecure and probably too immature, never one for going out anyway so I never felt I missed out on anything. I loved raising my boys and I love that now they are adults I am still youngish enough to enjoy them. We have similar interests and into the same stuff so it's awesome to hang out with them now. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man 38 weeks ago
From the land of haribos. |
"There isn’t a perfect time but one thing I find sad sometimes is the fact they could miss out on grandparents having kids late. My parents were 48 when I had my eldest. At 27 years old she still has all 4 grandparents and has an amazing relationship with all of them. That is so special. "
You are right there, there isnt a perfect time, but yes, they could miss out on grandparents having kids late, yes, that is special as she has all 4 grandparents too |
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