So I saw a thread this afternoon asking to send a compliment to a man and that really got me thinking.
I can remember that in last "real" relationship I had brought this up as an issue. It all started when I was speaking to a councillor and she said "you are a good dad and it's commendable for all the hard work you do for your family". I can remember starting well up, and I hadn't cried for years, the last time before then was when my mother died.
On the drive home I was reflecting on why I had that sudden strong emotion that brought me to tears and it dawned on me that I had not been complimented like that for years. Just a few simple words or recognition felt so good.
So I have a question for both the ladies and gents in the forum
Gents - how often do you receive compliments and what is your reaction to them?
Ladies - do you compliment men knowing how much it might actually mean to do so? |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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I don't have a man in my life, but I compliment my son knowing that he might tell me to sod off but he's internalising the good vibes. I'm not a natural compliment giver but I try to give them out to men and women. |
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"I don't have a man in my life, but I compliment my son knowing that he might tell me to sod off but he's internalising the good vibes. I'm not a natural compliment giver but I try to give them out to men and women."
I always had a rule to compliment my ex in something everyday. Something genuine as a hate hollow gestures. The way I see it a simple compliment can go a long way. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 41 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I get a lot from my partner and they know how much I appreciate them, as well as having a sixth sense as to when I need one. They really do give you a warm and fuzzy feeling. 
On here? I've had the odd one or two. But if out of the blue from someone I don't know then it's different than if from someone I've met face to face. It's nice to get them of course and I'm not talking about the kind that relate to anything sexual, just those from people I've met socially.
A lot of compliments thrown around on here are intended to curry favour and encourage meets, so the source and motivation is important.
I'd rather a nice compliment about my character or personality from someone who has no intention of ever getting physical with me, than one from someone blowing smoke up my arse because it might encourage me to want to meet them any day of the week and twice on a Sunday.  |
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In _real_ life I think the only female who has given me a compliment in the last ten years is my daughter and she isn’t exactly unbiased
Fab is actually better for positive female interactions and I have to say I do feel a slight tinge of pride when I get a compliment from a wife or a couple. |
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I do compliment. If I think something nice I say it, because I would like to hear the nice things people think about me. Sadly I do the relationship cliche where I date Avoidants and they hate it when I say nice things |
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I love getting compliments when they're genuine, they reaffirm that I'm doing the best I can and in the right way.
I squirm at compliments that I feel like I don't deserve or don't recognise as being me.
I get complimented quite often,but I also give out compliments too. If you want to feel appreciated by anyone you have to show you appreciate them too. |
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I rarely if ever get compliments from strangers.
On here I might get compliments about my pics but if they are from people I've never spoken to before I'll thank them but I'm never sure how sincere they actually are.
I used to get compliments about what I was wearing more than how I looked so even now when someone compliments me I'm not entirely sure how to react.
If I receive a compliment for something I've done I'm much more comfortable with those because I know I've done something worthy.
I don't remember a compliment making me emotional though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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I compliment my partners daily. I try to make sure it’s not always something physical. I don’t do it because I feel it means something to them. I do it because whatever I am complimenting them on is genuinely something I am grateful for in my life and having them be attached to that thing that I am grateful for makes me appreciate them.
Also because words of affirmation is one way I give love to others in terms of love languages. Ironically, it’s not of my love languages when it comes to filling my own love tanks and I’m horrible at receiving compliments. |
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