FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Therapy

Therapy

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London

Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)?

Talk to me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ilsaGeorgeCouple 31 weeks ago

kent

I have tried it twice. The first (a man) was so flabbergasted by what had happened to me he simply didn’t know what to say. The second, a woman, responded a little better, but something about her seemed off, and so I only saw her twice. I didn’t bother trying with anyone else. I have spoken to a couple of others, friends I thought I could trust who have some empathy. Turns out I was wrong about that too, so now my story just stays buttoned up. Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London


"I have tried it twice. The first (a man) was so flabbergasted by what had happened to me he simply didn’t know what to say. The second, a woman, responded a little better, but something about her seemed off, and so I only saw her twice. I didn’t bother trying with anyone else. I have spoken to a couple of others, friends I thought I could trust who have some empathy. Turns out I was wrong about that too, so now my story just stays buttoned up. Xx"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London

Finding the right therapist for yourself can be as hard as trying to date.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 31 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I have talk therapy on a regular basis.

Opposite sex therapist. I did a lot of research and reading on the available options local to me before having a trial session and seemed to find a good fit first try for that.

I tried online and phone sessions prior to that but I couldn't connect with the person on the other side that way. I tried CBT but it was all things I already do and at the time I needed help there wasn't anything in that that could help me.

Some days feel like hitting my head against a brick wall. Some rare days there's an immediate clarity. Most times I take away the questions and external view point and let them gestate and progress in the peripherals until I'm ready to deal with the questions they raise.

I find it very helpful overall. I would recommend it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *angerouslemaisonsMan 31 weeks ago

Peterborough

I went once via the NHS unloaded about my past the therapist cried and I never went back. Privately I found one that matched me well, opposite sex and no transference as such and was a good experience. Thought about her fucking me but I’ve thought that about 90% of women I’ve met and 20% of men haha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *andadbodMan 31 weeks ago

Liverpool

i was going to group therapy with other men, it’s called andy’s man club, but due to personal circumstances I can’t make the sessions now so i’m looking for a 1-2-1 therapist, this is to help me deal with bereavement and suicidal thoughts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London


"I have talk therapy on a regular basis.

Opposite sex therapist. I did a lot of research and reading on the available options local to me before having a trial session and seemed to find a good fit first try for that.

I tried online and phone sessions prior to that but I couldn't connect with the person on the other side that way. I tried CBT but it was all things I already do and at the time I needed help there wasn't anything in that that could help me.

Some days feel like hitting my head against a brick wall. Some rare days there's an immediate clarity. Most times I take away the questions and external view point and let them gestate and progress in the peripherals until I'm ready to deal with the questions they raise.

I find it very helpful overall. I would recommend it "

I’ve only ever done therapy with a same sex therapist, but think I’d like a male therapist knowing I would definitely get overly attached but hoping it would be safely and in a way I could get some breakthrough clarity. If that makes sense!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ophieslutTV/TS 31 weeks ago

Central

I think it's really valuable to investigate and learn about the types of therapy that exist. You can narrow down your search for the types that seem right for you, before finding the person.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London


"I think it's really valuable to investigate and learn about the types of therapy that exist. You can narrow down your search for the types that seem right for you, before finding the person. "

I’ve always had a tendency towards transactional analysis.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *olfandtazCouple 31 weeks ago

Bristol

I do therapy once a month so I can unload work, it's really helpful and stops me from taking to much on

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago

I am going to London next month to learn about complex trauma and ptsd.. Most of it is about bereavement. Work related though.

Always a good idea to contact your GP who can direct you to right therapist.

I am also trained in cognitive behaviour therapy which talks about anxieties.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *apiomanMan 31 weeks ago

Shipley

The most effective thing I have had for trauma recovery is EMDR. About 6 sessions which I paid for privately.

I did have some psychotherapy for a year, which I didn't find as effective. I think it is in part level of trust in the therapist.

Good luck in your journey OP.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *cflirtyMan 31 weeks ago

hants/ w sussex border

I have had therapy in the past the first a male although understood wasnt that helpful, the second a lady.. seemed to relate better and gave me more positives. I recently spoke to her after one of my service buddies died and she helped and reinforced previous advice

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman 31 weeks ago

Essex

No

I haven’t

I wouldn’t

But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago

I’ve had therapy in the past 12 months, through work. Sadly it was only 8 sessions and money is a bit too tight to take it on myself. I found it very helpful, even as an opportunity to talk and release the pressure valve.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *cflirtyMan 31 weeks ago

hants/ w sussex border


"No

I haven’t

I wouldn’t

But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it."

Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman 31 weeks ago

Essex


"No

I haven’t

I wouldn’t

But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it.

Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx"

Professionally speaking…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *cflirtyMan 31 weeks ago

hants/ w sussex border


"No

I haven’t

I wouldn’t

But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it.

Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx

Professionally speaking…

"

Visually

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *xfordjohnMan 31 weeks ago

Oxford


"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)?

Talk to me. "

Yes, I've had talking therapy twice.

Twenty years ago I went through a bad time with my second wife and we went to Relate who, as part of their advice, said psychotherapy might be useful for me. I did some online research and found a lady local to me who I saw for four years during which time my wife and I were divorced. I never did get to the bottom of my obsession with threesomes!

That series ended when I met my third wife. After some years, it was obvious that our sexual appetites were mis-matched and so we sought help from a therapist specialising in couples'sexual problems. That ended up with me joining Fab with my wife's consent, and the rest as they say is history

I'm a great believer in talking as therapy. I also think women are naturally more empathetic than most men so would always prefer a woman.

I did not have any transference experience.

Co-incidentally, I'm currently planning to take bereavement counselling which is basically the same sort of thing but for a specific purpose.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *o_yeur_eyes_onlyMan 31 weeks ago

Londontown

I have done "workshops" which can be very much like therapy. Not 1-2-1 therapy though, which I really need to look into..... I dated a psychotherapist for a while, which was tough, as I found that the divide between the relationship Vs therapy was very thin.....I didnt want to, or feel, "analysed" in a relationship ......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *sWyldWoman 31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I actually trained in counselling many years ago and as part of that had a few sessions. At the time I really didn't open up, it was a tick box exercise for me really.

I've never looked at it again, I sometimes think it would be helpful as I'd certainly recommend it to others, but in reality I'm too scared to start unpacking my stuff, so it's best left alone.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ady LickWoman 31 weeks ago

Northampton Somewhere

I had 2 cbt sessions with a male when I was in my 20's through the NHS which was supposed to help me deal with the sudden loss of my father. Unfortunately I didn't really click with the guy and I didn't engage well in the sessions so I binned it off. In hindsight I should of stuck with it.

Ahhhh well....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lasphemousGirlWoman 31 weeks ago

Cambs

Therapy and meditation have been very beneficial for me, I think you have to try our a few things to find what works for you, but I respect anyone doing the work on themselves.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oodmessMan 31 weeks ago

yumsville

Had CBT twice. The first swore constant and I'm pretty sure was d*unk. The second was as I cut the first short; he decided I'd said a word 4 times in 15 mins and would give treatment based on it. I can't remember the word but it wasn't something in my everyday vocabulary. I asked him how long he'd been a counsellor and it was only a couple of years, so again cut that short too. Waited 18 months for the first and another few months more for the second.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ad NannaWoman 31 weeks ago

East London

I had group therapy after seeing psychiatrists a few times.

I started to feel worse so I stopped going and wasn't happy divulging my personal life to strangers; even though I was told we wouldn't be asked.

I did come away with a useful exercise for bringing myself out of a panic attack, and relaxation techniques.

I didn't tell the psychiatrists or counsellor about my relationship with my husband.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *mf123Man 31 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Probly should have by this worlds standards maybe but never know now i got thru by myself anyway

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *VineMan 31 weeks ago

The right place

I have had therapy in the past. It was CBT focused.

If I was to go again I think I would seek out an IFS practitioner.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *VineMan 31 weeks ago

The right place


"I have had therapy in the past. It was CBT focused.

If I was to go again I think I would seek out an IFS practitioner. "

Oh! And to answer the rest of the question, my counsellor was an older man, I don’t believe there was any transference. I have also had couples counselling with a woman, but that wasn’t very helpful.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estarossa.Woman 31 weeks ago

Flagrante

[Removed by poster at 11/02/24 23:30:53]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *estarossa.Woman 31 weeks ago

Flagrante

Yes. Most recently was after the death of my father 2017 and breakdown of a relationship at the same time.

It was helpful.

The therapist was male, and very good, there were no problems with remaining professional, although I thought we got on well.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London

Interesting reads. Thanks to those that reached out on DM too. Appreciated.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *atnip make me purrWoman 31 weeks ago

Reading

I have had EFT sessions which really helped me overcome ptsd. They sound weird but for me they really worked. The us military use the technique for veterans with severe ptsd.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 31 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes

No

None

No

Wasn't helpful for me.

Mrs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *agerMorganMan 31 weeks ago

Canvey Island

Yes, it’s working for me and helped me escape major anxiety problems.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple 31 weeks ago

in Lancashire


"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)?

Talk to me. "

Years ago yes, was reluctant to go as i thought I was ok. But found it really helpful, after each session I felt a little less like I was carrying a big rock or maybe it was eroded by the tears during ..

One to one with a fantastic lady and something like transference just never entered my head..

It was a bit of a Rubicon moment as previously my mindset was rufty tufty ex military blokes working in one of the emergency services just got on with shit..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ophieslutTV/TS 31 weeks ago

Central


"I think it's really valuable to investigate and learn about the types of therapy that exist. You can narrow down your search for the types that seem right for you, before finding the person.

I’ve always had a tendency towards transactional analysis. "

Transactional Analysis is interesting and I like the Berne's Games People Play book, which I have gifted to quite a few friends

The various therapies are so different, it's amazing that we have such choice

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman 31 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've had a lot of therapy. CBT was a bit... plaster on a gunshot wound (I'm not saying it doesn't work for anyone. I'm saying it didn't work for *me*). What did work... I don't know exactly what my therapists used apart from the ones that used CBT - I know internal family systems played a role, and variations on body based therapy with a heavy emphasis on mindfulness meditation. But I'm neurospicy and have (have had?) some complex needs. It's been a journey and then some.

I've had predominantly same sex but some opposite sex therapists, and it makes no difference to me. I don't think I've ever had any transference issues

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alcon77Man 31 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

Talk therapy is something I need to do / look into.

Speaking to folks I know that have had cbt therapy, I don't think it will work as well as talk therapy for my issues.

I've diagnosed myself with arrested development..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stella OP   Woman 31 weeks ago

London


"Talk therapy is something I need to do / look into.

Speaking to folks I know that have had cbt therapy, I don't think it will work as well as talk therapy for my issues.

I've diagnosed myself with arrested development.."

I. Am. Resisting. The. Urge.

*…everyday people!

Damn. Apologies.

I all seriousness, hope you find someone that works for you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *alcon77Man 31 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *carlett 44Woman 31 weeks ago

bootle

More counselling for me. The first time a lady must be about 20 yrs ago now. I wld sit there and cry for the whole appointment. Was goin throu a terrible time with my youngest son. This time cbd counselling a man over the phone. He had a very calming voice which kept me calm.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 12/02/24 20:38:10]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 31 weeks ago


"I've had a truckload of therapy. Several different counsellors and two psychologists who provided CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). CBT is what's stayed with me over the years but counselling has helped me cope with particular situations eg PND. "

I've worked with men and women and have no preference. There's only one person who was quite combative with me. I just didn't return and asked for someone else.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eavilMan 31 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Tried CBT but my cock was sore for a week afterwards.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *r_PinkMan 31 weeks ago

london stratford

I am in therapy at the moment.

once a week for 30 weeks,

I am a third of the way through and am seeing no results what so ever

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *andyman4uanddiscreetMan 12 weeks ago

oxford

I am in need of a therapist, someone i can chat and talk openly with as my life is a mess

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ittlemissmistressKCouple 12 weeks ago

Southampton


"I am in need of a therapist, someone i can chat and talk openly with as my life is a mess "

Hugs ... feel free to message if you need a chat x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ot to giggleWoman 12 weeks ago

Coventry


"I am in need of a therapist, someone i can chat and talk openly with as my life is a mess "

You have taken the 1st step xxx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *luehairedcumslutCouple 12 weeks ago

St Neots

Currently doing CBT, not sure if it's for me or not but therapist (female) is really nice

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iker JackMan 12 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Before some massive surgeries I was told to have therapy as there would be changes to my life post it.

As with anything you have to believe it is of value. Not just pay lip service to it. You also, in my opinion, have the right to challenge what they are saying in return. Sometimes I found it a bit of a text book answer and they were not really listening to me.

That said did it work? When I learnt that it was of benefit to me I would say it did but it’s what you do and the mechanisms you have in place once it’s all finished. That’s the challenge

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ealitybitesMan 12 weeks ago

Belfast

I had 10 weeks of CBT about 6 years ago and couldn't understand any of it.

I had been spinning in circles for a decade and the only thing that therapy taught me was that being stuck in a cycle of talking about past experiences was doing more harm than good.

I made a vow afterwards that I would never go to therapy again and I would just get out and live my life.

I've stuck to that vow and changed my life and entire outlook around.

The counsellor was male and probably perfectly good at his job but it wasn't for me.

I have been asked if maybe he was so good that he pointed me in the right direction without my being aware.

That is possible but I left each session feeling more frustrated than when I entered and couldn't wait for it all to be over so I didn't feel I could relate to him at all.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ansoffateMan 12 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I've had therapy of various forms. Some modalities are designed for specific issues like EMDR for PTSD.

In a general sense I can recommend a therapist whose core training is person-centred. They understand that counselling is primarily about listening rather than being directive. Gestalt therapists also have a very similar approach. They can both be particularly good for people who didn't find CBT helpful. Therapy should leave one feeling self-empowered and able to say I don't need this relationship anymore, as a goal. Issues like transference occur and a therapist ought to be able to manage it effectively and create a space where a client can talk about it openly. It can become a tool rather than a barrier then.

I've had good male and female therapists. If you are on here it may be worth looking for one who is kink or enm/poly aware.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *essiCouple 12 weeks ago

suffolk

I have a few times..CBT and counselling..never felt it really worked for me,always more questions than answers.so things stay unresolved..but it's certainly worth trying to see if it helps you..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS 12 weeks ago

chichester

i helped a few people years ago with some NLP sessions ... though NLP is one of those debatable therapies as it can be open for abuse and does get some bad press. i have found it has been pretty useful with getting some people on the right track though over the years

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *mf123Man 12 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Kind of i tried once until i was told i need to change how i think about things at that point i left i dont like being told what to do and dont like the thought of changing how i think you ask me thats like brain washing trying to turn me into someone else so i actively steer clear of things like that now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uri00620Woman 12 weeks ago

Croydon

I wouldn't.

Whatever it is, I don't want to talk about it with anyone.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *andi da ThrushTV/TS 12 weeks ago

Round the Corner

I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions.

Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male.

.

I woukd recommend it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *allandathleticMan 12 weeks ago

Asgard


"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions.

Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male.

.

I woukd recommend it. "

Is this the eye movement therapy?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *r.Vice GuyMan 12 weeks ago

bristol/london


"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)?

I've had emdr and brain spotting therapy for my childhood traumas.

I find it easier to talk to a female therapist, due to the nature of my childhood traumas.

I haven't developed feeling for them past I like them for the person they are and admire the role they have taken on, as it's an intense and draining role to burden. It takes a very special soul to be able to listen to others burdens and help them find their way through it.

At least that's my opinion of the matter

Talk to me. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *r.Vice GuyMan 12 weeks ago

bristol/london


"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions.

Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male.

.

I woukd recommend it.

Is this the eye movement therapy?"

Yes. The body keeps the score is a good book to read of you wish to understand more in this process

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oleene HoneybeeWoman 12 weeks ago

on the naughty side of the street


"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions.

Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male.

.

I woukd recommend it. "

I would recommend this too.

Amazing for PTSD or any kind of trauma as we carry it in our bodies without even realising it.

I've seen amazing results with help the hero's veterans, long covid patient and in hospice care,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman 12 weeks ago

somewhere

I'm currently undergoing CBT trauma therapy, for stuff that has happened in the past and to try and stop it happening in the future. In the scheme of things my trauma isn't massive but it's MY trauma.

I was skeptical at first and had taken alot of sessions for me to start believing in it and I'm still not sure it's doing me any good but I'm about 16 weeks in (have a session every 2 weeks via zoom) and my therapist still doesn't think I'm ready to be let go yet (probably thinking of the money tbh lol). I'm very lucky to have private health care so got a referral pretty quickly.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *26StitchMan 12 weeks ago

Hucknall


"i was going to group therapy with other men, it’s called andy’s man club, but due to personal circumstances I can’t make the sessions now so i’m looking for a 1-2-1 therapist, this is to help me deal with bereavement and suicidal thoughts."

Self refer to your local IAPT service, look online for cruise, the good grief project or sue ryder.

Hope you get the help that you need. Hang in there, it gets easier.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *untsCrossMan 12 weeks ago

Horsforth

Ive been having a psychotherapy session every week for a couple of months now - it’s completely changed my life, helped me get a new job, new car, given me more confidence - would 100% recommend anyone to try it.

It can be a bit ‘out there’, but with an open mind it’s really powerful.

I do spend half of my time in the sessions fantasizing about fucking my older female therapist though

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickyKlungespeareMan 12 weeks ago

St Leonards

All therapists are not created equal.

Find the right therapist that works for you = life-changing.

Find one that doesn't work for you = no real gains. Minor ones, slow and frustrating.

Transference - go with it. It's part of the process, and you'll learn from it. Don't be afraid of it (what are you afraid of? Usually, it's only "revealing yourself" because you've been hiding for years).

Once you've got the therapy into your good habits, then take up meditation.

They complement each other.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman 12 weeks ago

King's Crustacean


"Ive been having a psychotherapy session every week for a couple of months now - it’s completely changed my life, helped me get a new job, new car, given me more confidence - would 100% recommend anyone to try it.

It can be a bit ‘out there’, but with an open mind it’s really powerful.

I do spend half of my time in the sessions fantasizing about fucking my older female therapist though "

Then get a new therapist. I am not joking. Her safety is as important as anyone elses. She is a professional giving you help and will have worked to build a professional therapeutic relationship - maybe keep your mind on your own self improvement.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickyKlungespeareMan 12 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Ive been having a psychotherapy session every week for a couple of months now - it’s completely changed my life, helped me get a new job, new car, given me more confidence - would 100% recommend anyone to try it.

It can be a bit ‘out there’, but with an open mind it’s really powerful.

I do spend half of my time in the sessions fantasizing about fucking my older female therapist though

Then get a new therapist. I am not joking. Her safety is as important as anyone elses. She is a professional giving you help and will have worked to build a professional therapeutic relationship - maybe keep your mind on your own self improvement."

I'll disagree with this.

Telling my therapist when I was 25 that I had sexual fantasies about her was the biggest single key to unlocking my heavily repressed sexuality.

A good therapist welcomes this as material to explore, whilst still maintaining a distance, and probing what you are thinking and feeling.

I gained insights that were beyond the intellectual, and moved into a "lived incorporation" of desire into my life.

Understanding a client will form sexual attachments to therapists is part of the training, and moving through that release of desire is positive.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *unchalMan 12 weeks ago

Dartford


"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)?

Talk to me. "

Yes. 7 years, 3 times a week. I am now cured!

I would suggest some kind of longer term, more frequent, probably psychoanalytic based therapy. There are no quick cures, despite what some therapies would have you believe. If you choose the therapist with care (experience, qualifications, registered with professional bodies, insurance etc) then you trust that they will help you manage the relationship. Including any feelings of transference (by the way, this is managed by the therapist. You just have to experience it). The hardest part of ‘therapy’ is committing to it and sticking with the uncomfortable feelings. Your anxieties about the sex of the therapist might be a communication that you could share with your therapist.

I assume you already know that it is fucking expensive.

Good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *andi da ThrushTV/TS 12 weeks ago

Round the Corner


"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions.

Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male.

.

I woukd recommend it.

Is this the eye movement therapy?"

Yes it is

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple 12 weeks ago

North West


"I've had therapy of various forms. Some modalities are designed for specific issues like EMDR for PTSD.

In a general sense I can recommend a therapist whose core training is person-centred. They understand that counselling is primarily about listening rather than being directive. Gestalt therapists also have a very similar approach. They can both be particularly good for people who didn't find CBT helpful. Therapy should leave one feeling self-empowered and able to say I don't need this relationship anymore, as a goal. Issues like transference occur and a therapist ought to be able to manage it effectively and create a space where a client can talk about it openly. It can become a tool rather than a barrier then.

I've had good male and female therapists. If you are on here it may be worth looking for one who is kink or enm/poly aware. "

The counsellor I'm seeing is a person centred practitioner and she seems very open minded and understanding about our lifestyle, not that that is the object of the sessions. I'm about 3/4 sessions in. She'd the second person I've seen, the first left the organisation after two sessions, having cancelled and rearranged the second session in any case. I nearly gave up because I'd just opened the brain-box labelled "do not touch", Pandora's box had flowed out and then at the end of session 2, she said "this is our last session and you'll have to go back on the waiting list."

Thankfully, the second therapist became available reasonably quickly, quickly enough for me not to make a rash decision to quit it and actually, she seems to be a much better fit for me anyway and the venue is easier to get to, and into! It even has a wheelchair accessible toilet, which the other did not

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickyKlungespeareMan 12 weeks ago

St Leonards

OP - There are some extremely useful replies on here.

As ever, there's a lot of data to sift through (which, ironically, is what a good therapist helps you do, amongst other things).

Take the step (it can be bloody expensive), if it doesn't work with therapist 1, find the strength if you can for therapist 2, and if that doesn't work, then therapist 3.

The hardest part (as Kinkies said) is once you've opened up that Pandora's Box, being able to keep letting those things out for the therapist, and you, to assimilate their multifaceted meanings.

That's harder if you have to go through 2 or 3 before finding the best fit.

Not only will a good fit work with transference, sexual attachments/fantasies, but also "psychic violence" towards them.

If you've been told, from birth, for example - never to be "angry", your therapist will help you find ways of bringing everything associated with that (everything!) into a space to be worked with.

So, JFDI (if you can afford it).

Break a leg x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickyKlungespeareMan 12 weeks ago

St Leonards

And finally finally (for now OP), MIND often offer low-cost (around £15 per hour) 2nd and 3rd year psychotherapy undergrads, depending on where you live.

Cost is a major barrier for therapy, and I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago


" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation. "

Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rHotNottsMan 12 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps.

I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days.

Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy.

Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse.

So it’s great to see the cycle being broken

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *unchalMan 12 weeks ago

Dartford


" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation.

Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships?"

Metaphorical fit, I think.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *unchalMan 12 weeks ago

Dartford


"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps.

I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days.

Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy.

Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse.

So it’s great to see the cycle being broken "

I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) 12 weeks ago


" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation.

Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships?

Metaphorical fit, I think. "

I was being an arse

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ansoffateMan 12 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"I've had therapy of various forms. Some modalities are designed for specific issues like EMDR for PTSD.

In a general sense I can recommend a therapist whose core training is person-centred. They understand that counselling is primarily about listening rather than being directive. Gestalt therapists also have a very similar approach. They can both be particularly good for people who didn't find CBT helpful. Therapy should leave one feeling self-empowered and able to say I don't need this relationship anymore, as a goal. Issues like transference occur and a therapist ought to be able to manage it effectively and create a space where a client can talk about it openly. It can become a tool rather than a barrier then.

I've had good male and female therapists. If you are on here it may be worth looking for one who is kink or enm/poly aware.

The counsellor I'm seeing is a person centred practitioner and she seems very open minded and understanding about our lifestyle, not that that is the object of the sessions. I'm about 3/4 sessions in. She'd the second person I've seen, the first left the organisation after two sessions, having cancelled and rearranged the second session in any case. I nearly gave up because I'd just opened the brain-box labelled "do not touch", Pandora's box had flowed out and then at the end of session 2, she said "this is our last session and you'll have to go back on the waiting list."

Thankfully, the second therapist became available reasonably quickly, quickly enough for me not to make a rash decision to quit it and actually, she seems to be a much better fit for me anyway and the venue is easier to get to, and into! It even has a wheelchair accessible toilet, which the other did not "

Sounds peculiar the first experience, I am glad it didn't put you off. I found it helped me greatly and my wife (who'd pretty much had the works) said it was by far the best modality for her. The relationship with the counsellor is important - so getting the right fit for you is ideal.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple 12 weeks ago

North West


"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps.

I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days.

Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy.

Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse.

So it’s great to see the cycle being broken

I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII. "

Bloody nora. We agree on something

I think some of my family trauma stems from the lack of processing and dealing with the Holocaust impact. My Grandma never spoke about it. My Dad only learned more about it after she died (post 1998) and I've done more research and found out loads. Grandma must have been harbouring a LOT of trauma. In addition to family being murdered, her sister committed suicide and she had a baby who died as an infant, all within the same 8 years.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eronicaExplorerWoman 12 weeks ago

London

I carried a trauma from my childhood when I lost both parents. I tried several times during my life but never worked until three years ago. The transference was unreal. Honestly Voodoo. Maybe because we talked in English and I didn't use my mother tongue, and the therapist was a genius. It changed my life. I'm able to be here and feel sexy and self-confident about my body for the first time in my life just after and because of the therapy. Maybe wasn't so good for me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *eronicaExplorerWoman 12 weeks ago

London


"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps.

I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days.

Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy.

Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse.

So it’s great to see the cycle being broken

I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII.

Bloody nora. We agree on something

I think some of my family trauma stems from the lack of processing and dealing with the Holocaust impact. My Grandma never spoke about it. My Dad only learned more about it after she died (post 1998) and I've done more research and found out loads. Grandma must have been harbouring a LOT of trauma. In addition to the family being murdered, her sister committed suicide and she had a baby who died as an infant, all within the same 8 years. "

Amazing story of life. Did you travel to find your roots? Where?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.1249

0