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Dad jokes

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By *en Jerkinoff OP Man 42 weeks ago

whitehaven

Come on people, let's make this evening a little better by sharing your best dad jokes.

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By *oupleus30Couple 42 weeks ago

Minster

Knock knock

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

Who’s there ?

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By *oupleus30Couple 42 weeks ago

Minster

Smellmyp

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

Nah I’m having a cuppa

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By *oupleus30Couple 42 weeks ago

Minster

I have 6 kids they love my dad jokes .... not

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

"I have 6 kids they love my dad jokes .... not"

I did smile tbf

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan 42 weeks ago

Sussex

What goes from green to red as quick as a flash?

(Not traffic lights)

A frog in a food blender

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By *oupleus30Couple 42 weeks ago

Minster

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

How do you make a Swiss roll?

Push him down a mountain

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By *aomilatteCouple 42 weeks ago

Midlands

It's a sad day as a good friend passed away with severe indigestion. We can't believe Gav is gone.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

"It's a sad day as a good friend passed away with severe indigestion. We can't believe Gav is gone."

... bet his death was hard to stomach....

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By *he turned me GreyCouple 42 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Dogs can't operate a MRI machine

But catscan

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

"Dogs can't operate a MRI machine

But catscan

Mr "

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By *he turned me GreyCouple 42 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Why are cats better than dogs???..

They don't show the police where your dr@gs are at

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

I never used to be a fan of auctions. Then I changed my mind after going once... going twice...

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

"I never used to be a fan of auctions. Then I changed my mind after going once... going twice..."

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other " how do you drive this thing? "

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

My wife kicked me out the house because I kept incorrectly quoting the Terminator films. But don't worry, I will return...

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By *alleysBoiMan 42 weeks ago

Newbridge

What's better than eating a mandarin?

Eating Amanda out

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By *he turned me GreyCouple 42 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament...

Live stream

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

"My wife kicked me out the house because I kept incorrectly quoting the Terminator films. But don't worry, I will return..."

Lol

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By *adbod2godbodMan 42 weeks ago

Manchester

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken.

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By *urvaceousVioletWoman 42 weeks ago

RCT/South Wales

What's pink and hard.....

A pig with a flick knife

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple 42 weeks ago

Southampton

"What's pink and hard.....

A pig with a flick knife

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By *orthmanMan 42 weeks ago

Kendal

There's a suspicious man in the campground. I think he's loitering with intent.

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By *orksRockerMan 42 weeks ago

Bradford

"Two fish in a tank, one says to the other " how do you drive this thing? ""

Reminds me of this one...

Two sausages in a pan.

One says to the other "Hot in here isn't it"

The other goes "OMG, a talking sausage"

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By *tormchasingCouple 42 weeks ago

Billericay

Whats invisible and smells of bananas?

Monkey farts

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By *ig_eric_tionMan 42 weeks ago

IPSWICH

Two snowmen stood in a field. One says to the other. Can you smell carrots?

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By *ig_eric_tionMan 42 weeks ago

IPSWICH

A hole has been discovered in the fence surrounding a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago

Whats green and smells of pork?

Kermits finger

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By *olfandtazCouple 42 weeks ago

Bristol

What's wrinkly and hangs out your boxers?

Your mum

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By *adbod2godbodMan 42 weeks ago

Manchester

Why did sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Not Sally

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By *ge_load_ladMan 42 weeks ago

NW & Mids

Whats the difference between light and hard?

You can get to sleep with a light on

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By *adbod2godbodMan 42 weeks ago

Manchester

"Whats the difference between light and hard?

You can get to sleep with a light on

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

Ones really heavy, the others a little lighter.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan 42 weeks ago

Sussex

How does old McDonald spell the name of his farm?.

E..I..E..I..O

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By *ullyMan 42 weeks ago

Near Clacton

The police station was broken into and the thieves stole the lavatory pan. The police say they have nothing to go on.

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By *aughtyTwo8488Couple 42 weeks ago

derby

Little known fact about Elton John, he doesn't like lettuce in his salad. No, because he's more of a ROCKET MAN.....

Mr Naughty

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By * and fCouple 42 weeks ago

Salford

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She's starting to sound like my wife.

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By *eacupsbearCouple 41 weeks ago

York

"What's pink and hard.....

A pig with a flick knife

What's white and blue and hard?

A fridge in a denim jacket with a flick knife

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By *eacupsbearCouple 41 weeks ago

York

"Two fish in a tank, one says to the other " how do you drive this thing? "

Reminds me of this one...

Two sausages in a pan.

One says to the other "Hot in here isn't it"

The other goes "OMG, a talking sausage"

Or two horses grazing in a field.

A sheepdog walks by and says morning.

One horse turns to the other and says " fuck me! A talking dog"

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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago

You invite a lady on Fab out for dinner.

"What would you like to eat?"

"Oh just a salad for me please, I don't eat meat."

...... "Waiter, bill please!"

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By *exysquaddieMan 41 weeks ago

derby

What do the cucumber say to the vibrator? Don't know why your shaking for as she is going eat me after

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By *ristol100Man 41 weeks ago

Bristol

Why do Adele cross the road??

To say Hello from the other side!!

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By *ristol100Man 41 weeks ago

Bristol

What’s pink and wrinkled and hangs out your trousers?

Your mum!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 41 weeks ago

Leeds

Why did the hedgehog cross the road ?

To see his flatmate.

The mr

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By * inch tongueMan 41 weeks ago

visiting

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Chickens hadn't been invented yet.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan 41 weeks ago

Willenhall

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Chickens hadn't been invented yet."

Chickens are dinosaurs...

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan 41 weeks ago

Willenhall

His Majesty's cancer diagnosis has certainly raised my awareness...

I'm now fully aware I'll never get diagnosed nor treated that fucking quickly...

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By * inch tongueMan 41 weeks ago

visiting

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Chickens hadn't been invented yet.

Chickens are dinosaurs..."

So, are chickens dinosaurs? No – the birds are a distinct group of animals, but they did descend from the dinosaurs, and it’s not too much of a twist of facts to call them modern dinosaurs.

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan 41 weeks ago

Willenhall

"Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Chickens hadn't been invented yet.

Chickens are dinosaurs...

So, are chickens dinosaurs? No – the birds are a distinct group of animals, but they did descend from the dinosaurs, and it’s not too much of a twist of facts to call them modern dinosaurs."

Only non-avian dinosaurs are extinct...

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By *eavenNhellCouple 41 weeks ago

carrbrook stalybridge

You injure yourself playing peekaboo with a baby where do you go for treatment ?

I c u of course

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan 41 weeks ago

Willenhall

My grandfather could never bring himself to throw anything away.

That probably explains why he died holding a hand grenade.

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By *olfandtazCouple 41 weeks ago

Bristol

You should always wash your sex toys after use, that is why preists invented baptism

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