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How dominant do you like...
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By *iasubTV/TS 42 weeks ago
Ilkeston |
Not very to begin with as i like to be able to really understand how each other likes things and see what works. After a few meets and we get more confident with each other the dial turns all the way up |
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In the nicest possible way I really wish people would not use the words "Dominant" and " submissive" in a hedonist situation. The phrases rely on the stereotypes of D/s but have nothing to do with it as hedonists seek only bedroom play.
In D/s a "Dominant" is largely someone who accepts a transfer of authority or power and a "submissive" gives a transfer of authority or power.
As others have pointed what is usually meant in a sexual/hedonist situation is confidence in the bedroom and or willingness to lead or take control in the bedroom. This still does not make someone a Dominant.
There is nothing wrong in being a Dominant as there are people who seek to be submissive in a relationship. But there are different styles of submission and different types of Dominance and therefore the parties need to discuss whether they have matching styles (amongst other matters).
There is far more to D/s and BDSM dynamics than is generally understood on Fab or permitted to be discussed on Fab.
For years people in the know have suggested read books like "Screw the roses send the thorns" or SM 101 by Jay Wiseman to understand BDSM.
Unfortunately the same wrong things are still stated by those who claim to be "Dominants" or who are against "Dominants".
I leave with my usual plea of people to get educated.
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Anyone trying to dominate me on a first meet is going straight in the bin.
If that dynamic develops naturally over the course of our interactions, amazing.
But someone trying to push it on me without foundation? They can fuck off  |
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By *ruceyy OP Man 42 weeks ago
London |
"In the nicest possible way I really wish people would not use the words "Dominant" and " submissive" in a hedonist situation. The phrases rely on the stereotypes of D/s but have nothing to do with it as hedonists seek only bedroom play.
In D/s a "Dominant" is largely someone who accepts a transfer of authority or power and a "submissive" gives a transfer of authority or power.
As others have pointed what is usually meant in a sexual/hedonist situation is confidence in the bedroom and or willingness to lead or take control in the bedroom. This still does not make someone a Dominant.
There is nothing wrong in being a Dominant as there are people who seek to be submissive in a relationship. But there are different styles of submission and different types of Dominance and therefore the parties need to discuss whether they have matching styles (amongst other matters).
There is far more to D/s and BDSM dynamics than is generally understood on Fab or permitted to be discussed on Fab.
For years people in the know have suggested read books like "Screw the roses send the thorns" or SM 101 by Jay Wiseman to understand BDSM.
Unfortunately the same wrong things are still stated by those who claim to be "Dominants" or who are against "Dominants".
I leave with my usual plea of people to get educated.
"
It is still being 'dominant' if the girl is submissive sexually and wants a guy to take control of her and treat her how she wants to be treated (somewhat rough)
Dominant and submissive relationship dynamics are entirely different true, but it is still 'dominating' the woman |
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"In the nicest possible way I really wish people would not use the words "Dominant" and " submissive" in a hedonist situation. The phrases rely on the stereotypes of D/s but have nothing to do with it as hedonists seek only bedroom play.
In D/s a "Dominant" is largely someone who accepts a transfer of authority or power and a "submissive" gives a transfer of authority or power.
As others have pointed what is usually meant in a sexual/hedonist situation is confidence in the bedroom and or willingness to lead or take control in the bedroom. This still does not make someone a Dominant.
There is nothing wrong in being a Dominant as there are people who seek to be submissive in a relationship. But there are different styles of submission and different types of Dominance and therefore the parties need to discuss whether they have matching styles (amongst other matters).
There is far more to D/s and BDSM dynamics than is generally understood on Fab or permitted to be discussed on Fab.
For years people in the know have suggested read books like "Screw the roses send the thorns" or SM 101 by Jay Wiseman to understand BDSM.
Unfortunately the same wrong things are still stated by those who claim to be "Dominants" or who are against "Dominants".
I leave with my usual plea of people to get educated.
It is still being 'dominant' if the girl is submissive sexually and wants a guy to take control of her and treat her how she wants to be treated (somewhat rough)
Dominant and submissive relationship dynamics are entirely different true, but it is still 'dominating' the woman "
I think we are largely in agreement on the basis there is a difference between D/s and bedroom activity.
Sexual submission can be part of D/s but usually as part of a D/s relationship.
However I would suggest that although using the dictionary definition of dominance may be correct English, it is still really trying to take on the mantle of the D/s use of the "Dominant' and get around having to say "rough sex". It is similar to people using "shibari" and leaning into Japanese mystique/fetishisation when they mean "rope bondage". |
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"Others to be to you on a first meet? Considering you have spoken about what you like?"
Most men don’t know what dominant actually means. In most cases it can be replaced with the word arsehole.
We always avoid it and we are a power dynamic couple. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I like it when the 23 year old masters bring their paddles to Costa so I can admire them and offer my arse. Pics of all the toys on the bedspread is so 2020. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I like it when the 23 year old masters bring their paddles to Costa so I can admire them and offer my arse. Pics of all the toys on the bedspread is so 2020. "
TWENTY THREE?! |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I like it when the 23 year old masters bring their paddles to Costa so I can admire them and offer my arse. Pics of all the toys on the bedspread is so 2020.
TWENTY THREE?!"
Yeah. They're always 23 and more dominant than anyone I've ever had. Paraphrasing, obvs.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I really like people who know what they want, but are also socially fun - its a curious mix - charisma i guess is what I'm looking for - but someone who doesn't compromise themselves |
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"In the nicest possible way I really wish people would not use the words "Dominant" and " submissive" in a hedonist situation. The phrases rely on the stereotypes of D/s but have nothing to do with it as hedonists seek only bedroom play.
In D/s a "Dominant" is largely someone who accepts a transfer of authority or power and a "submissive" gives a transfer of authority or power.
As others have pointed what is usually meant in a sexual/hedonist situation is confidence in the bedroom and or willingness to lead or take control in the bedroom. This still does not make someone a Dominant.
There is nothing wrong in being a Dominant as there are people who seek to be submissive in a relationship. But there are different styles of submission and different types of Dominance and therefore the parties need to discuss whether they have matching styles (amongst other matters).
There is far more to D/s and BDSM dynamics than is generally understood on Fab or permitted to be discussed on Fab.
For years people in the know have suggested read books like "Screw the roses send the thorns" or SM 101 by Jay Wiseman to understand BDSM.
Unfortunately the same wrong things are still stated by those who claim to be "Dominants" or who are against "Dominants".
I leave with my usual plea of people to get educated.
Nicely written.
...not that I understand the D/s scene, doesn't appeal to me, but I do somewhat dislike all the "I am a bull" business on some profiles.Somehow sounds a bit pompous and almost degrading towards females....
No offence meant to anyone, just my opinion or gut reaction !
"
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I actually met someone this first time and was surprised …. By something…. I leave that there. 
But, I just want to meet someone and explore where we find ourselves to be comfortable.  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Others to be to you on a first meet? Considering you have spoken about what you like?"
I'm easy, its nice for a women to make their intentions known, im pretty malleable so I like playing/dealing with all types of personalities.
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Surprising I quite like assertive, even dominant women. It makes planning and getting on with things far easier if there’s two of you. No beating around the bush or delays
It’s never an issue or feels like a battle either, most dominant people I know - male & female - are good at listening and will agree and go along with what other suggest , there seems to be this myth that dons need to be in control and making all the decisions, it’s not true, they are comfortable doing so but don’t need to be
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Fake Dominance or submission is an absolute turn off
It’s a state of mind. Not all can bring it out from the same person and nor should they.
It’s a connection of the minds that may or may not lead to more |
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I'm looking for dominant people so fine with people being dominant on a first meet.
Not everyone is capable of being dominant though. Emotionally immature people often mistake arrogance or a child like "I want this" as dominant.
Confident, gentle but firm dominance is very sexy though. |
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I appreciate someone who can express what they want and can show me how to pleasure them.
While I found that within the D/s dynamic it was all a bit too much for me after a while and now I prefer to opt out of the power plays and stick with finding good communicators. |
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