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Textual energy v the real deal.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 42 weeks ago
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Do you think you can really pick up on someone’s textual energy. What I mean by that is, you can have a really good flirting, heated relationship online or by text, but does that then carry through to when you meet up?
Has anyone experienced a time when you’ve met somebody, after talking for so long and the buildup was better than main event?
I kind of get why people would want to meet quickly rather than letting something build up to something it might not become. If that makes sense.
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Yes, I think you can. Words — and the sentiments that they underpin — can be very powerful and compelling. 'Textual energy' isn't absolute and it's just a warm up or a precursor to a (social) meet. At least for me anyway. |
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I've been caught out a few times. I’ve interacted with people online who appear to have really big personalities and be wallflowers in person. I much prefer saving judgment until I’ve met them in person as it’s too hard to predict. I think being online/texting gives people security to be more expressive. I just wish they had a warning sign that they don’t match it in person |
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I struggle with text I've zero idea until meeting if I'm interested so I try not to build things up too much just to be the disappointment when we finally meet.
I can sometimes guage if we'll get on, have enough in common but I need more than text for attraction.
Mrs |
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By *eliWoman 42 weeks ago
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"I've been caught out a few times. I’ve interacted with people online who appear to have really big personalities and be wallflowers in person. I much prefer saving judgment until I’ve met them in person as it’s too hard to predict. I think being online/texting gives people security to be more expressive. I just wish they had a warning sign that they don’t match it in person "
Yes; I've experienced similar and I tend to now hold back a little bit until I've met them in person. Sure, textual relationships can be great but it's a little bit disappointing when it doesn't translate to real life. When that "whatever" isn't there.
I think everyone should come equipped with a warning sign, myself included. |
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By *sWyldWoman 42 weeks ago
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It can be great on text /phone but still not there in person. I've had that before and I felt awful about it.
I think it's why I can be a bit reserved on the whole texting chatting front until we meet as I really don't want to feel that uncomfortable again. |
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I have no idea if I’m interested in someone until I’ve met them. I find too many things can be taken the wrong way via text.
I do also find people who are hard to talk with via messenger are less likely to be someone who I have an interest in. So for that reason I do like to have a face to face social with them sooner rather than later.
Kink (mrs) |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I tend not to do 'socials' but I do talk a lot before meeting. I don't think I've ever not felt the same once we meet, if I get on with someone by text/phone I get on with them in person. I can't speak for the guy though. |
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There isn't always a correlation, especially with me. I'm good with the written word, but in person it depends how comfortable I feel with the person and whether we establish a rapport quickly. Otherwise I can be too shy to carry on the virtual flirting because I need to feel sure they want me to, and it's got to be spontaneous instead of having time to think of flirty responses.
So I've probably disappointed quite a few people I've met up with  |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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Not fully no, I don't think. You may pick up hints as to some of the personality quirks, traits
People are mostly not what you build them up to be...so yeah flirt away but reserve opinions till you meet in person..which is hard if you've communicated online over a lengthy period |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 42 weeks ago
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"Yes, people can get a bit carried away over text and build things up in their heads... This is exactly why I don't chat for weeks/months."
Do you prefer to meet quickly? Or do you just set a date and then go quiet until the date arrives? |
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"Yes, people can get a bit carried away over text and build things up in their heads... This is exactly why I don't chat for weeks/months.
Do you prefer to meet quickly? Or do you just set a date and then go quiet until the date arrives? "
I prefer to meet quickly, the ones who arrange a date and go quiet, it never happens! Had exactly that last week. I always like to chat and arrange a social within the first couple of weeks. |
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I find the whole textual energy thing a bit draining - I would much rather meet in person and take it from there.
In my experience the people who like a lot of texting/chatting/bantering almost invariably don’t meet. That might be what some on here are looking for but not me. |
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"I've been caught out a few times. I’ve interacted with people online who appear to have really big personalities and be wallflowers in person. I much prefer saving judgment until I’ve met them in person as it’s too hard to predict. I think being online/texting gives people security to be more expressive. I just wish they had a warning sign that they don’t match it in person
Yes; I've experienced similar and I tend to now hold back a little bit until I've met them in person. Sure, textual relationships can be great but it's a little bit disappointing when it doesn't translate to real life. When that "whatever" isn't there.
I think everyone should come equipped with a warning sign, myself included."
This is pretty much my approach. Better to reserve judgement and keep the investment of energy for those who click in person.
It can be draining otherwise |
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I just talk / vid chat then meet asap 
