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By *eli OP Woman 42 weeks ago
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A conversation the other day had me thinking about the way we interact, communicate with each other.
On a site like this, or any relationships really, is it important to have similar energy when talking? If you don't have that, are not getting what you'd like, are you quick to walk away? In terms of frequency, content, whatever.
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Yes, I'm happy to have lengthy conversations that back and forth quickly, and I'm happy to share an aside every couple of weeks. But that match in energy is important. If it feels like it's all me or all them then that's uncomfortable and I'll withdraw.
J |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I definitely think it's important to a degree and in different ways OP. I'm an open minded person and not closed off or live in a tiny bubble, so exploring and learning about things is always interesting. I enjoy chatting with people and getting to know them, but it depends on the way both of us interact I feel. But I won't just cut off social ties with others just because I'm/we're not interested in the same things or sexually compatible. If we have similar interests and resonate well it's for sure a bonus but that wouldn't put me off chatting with others that are different to me. |
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By *sWyldWoman 42 weeks ago
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I need that "good match" energy in my relationships. I need the chemistry, the mutual desire, respect and matched effort.
I'm now at a point in my life where I won't settle for mediocre.
Its probably why I'm single really |
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By *eli OP Woman 42 weeks ago
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"I’m historically not quick enough to walk away. Too forgiving..
I’m changing that though recently."
How would (oh I'm going to have to type this but let's go with it) one go about that? How do you become quicker at it if you're quite a soft sort? |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I need someone as aloof as me. Someone that classes regular as once or twice a year. Someone I can go weeks without talking to. Someone that doesn't get all jealous if I talk about another guy.
Too keen and I'm gone. |
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This one is difficult to gauge, especially with Fab. I do enjoy talking to people, and sometimes I get a sense of that energy, but I’m also very quick to completely disengage. Part of that is my own trust issues and general cynicism, part of it is my ad hoc engagement with fab. It’s not easy sustaining a conversation when I might disappear for a few weeks. There are a few people here who I have spoken to in the past, who I would love to talk more to, and I’m not really sure why we don’t, so perhaps they didn’t feel the same energy? I don’t really know. I’m not much help on this one OP Xx |
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You can be a good match in many ways but, the energy levels are very important. If you feel you are putting much more in and it’s not reciprocated then, I find it best to slowly walk away. It can be hard though |
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I like a blend of different personalities. I’d get bored if everyone was like me. Way too unorganised and chaotic.
I dint need consistency in frequency of communication but I do need consistency with energy. If someone is a yo-yo and I don’t know if I’m coming or going I would walk away |
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"Exploring compatibility in sexuality and energy is a fascinating journey, as it delves into the intricate dynamics of physical attraction, emotional connection, and the alignment of desires, creating a harmonious and passionate experience between potential partners." |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I need the conversation to feel easy and not like a task. If I’m struggling to find things to talk about or purposefully putting off replying to someone, then we just aren’t compatible. No matter how attracted to them I am, I find it easy enough to walk away.
That being said I have days where I just don’t have the energy to talk to anyone and they probably think that I’m not matching their energy or whatever, so its nice when I find someone that can understand that and be patient with me. |
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"This one is difficult to gauge, especially with Fab. I do enjoy talking to people, and sometimes I get a sense of that energy, but I’m also very quick to completely disengage. Part of that is my own trust issues and general cynicism, part of it is my ad hoc engagement with fab. It’s not easy sustaining a conversation when I might disappear for a few weeks. There are a few people here who I have spoken to in the past, who I would love to talk more to, and I’m not really sure why we don’t, so perhaps they didn’t feel the same energy? I don’t really know. I’m not much help on this one OP Xx"
I like it when you pop into the inbox, even though it's sporadic 
J |
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By *eli OP Woman 42 weeks ago
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"Yes, I'm happy to have lengthy conversations that back and forth quickly, and I'm happy to share an aside every couple of weeks. But that match in energy is important. If it feels like it's all me or all them then that's uncomfortable and I'll withdraw.
J"
Yes. One sided can happen naturally at times, people have lives going on. Sometimes I don't have the spoons to reply to private messages but I do to post crap on here. It's not that I don't want to talk. Constantly that way though? It's uncomfortable and a tad unfair to both. |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I text and message and talk to people like an adult.
I’ve got loads of energy when I like you and I will want to talk with you, and often. But it’s up to you if you text back or not.
People excite me, and I like the excitement of chatting, and I like to feel you’re excited too. So as soon as I feel you’re not….. it will make my good vibe die. And that’s not great is it?
So I think it’s important match, or at least be on the same level to be able to understand when somebody might not be feeling at that time. That’s all about good communication.
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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"I like a blend of different personalities. I’d get bored if everyone was like me. Way too unorganised and chaotic.
I dint need consistency in frequency of communication but I do need consistency with energy. If someone is a yo-yo and I don’t know if I’m coming or going I would walk away"
This ^
I don't have set expectations for communication frequency. Hey, we all have lives and commitments that far outweigh fab, but blowing hot and cold is most confusing. If it's someone who I'm having sex with, or the potential to have sex is there, it can feel like I'm a plan B, being kept on the back-burner in case the more appealing plan A falls through. Fortunately, this has only happened a couple of times over the years as most people are decent and give a heads-up if they're going to be quiet for a while. |
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"I’m historically not quick enough to walk away. Too forgiving..
I’m changing that though recently.
How would (oh I'm going to have to type this but let's go with it) one go about that? How do you become quicker at it if you're quite a soft sort?"
I’m not 100% sure. But I’m starting on the block & delete & think no more of them route… |
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"This one is difficult to gauge, especially with Fab. I do enjoy talking to people, and sometimes I get a sense of that energy, but I’m also very quick to completely disengage. Part of that is my own trust issues and general cynicism, part of it is my ad hoc engagement with fab. It’s not easy sustaining a conversation when I might disappear for a few weeks. There are a few people here who I have spoken to in the past, who I would love to talk more to, and I’m not really sure why we don’t, so perhaps they didn’t feel the same energy? I don’t really know. I’m not much help on this one OP Xx
I like it when you pop into the inbox, even though it's sporadic
J"
Poppin’ in your box is always pleasure  |
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I think you can find an individual way of interacting with people. So, sometimes I've had quite intense conversations where there's a new reply every few minutes. Then there are others where you check in and see how people are doing and know that the response will come when it comes. I've also had interactions where the dynamic has been more about one of us writing scenarios and erotic pieces for the other, so inevitably they will come when the next section is finished.
I am a bit rubbish though. I'm a bit up and down at the moment so sometimes I'm on Fab a lot, then maybe I'll not be in the mood for sexy chat for a bit. I feel bad about that because I worry that the other person won't understand or accept that, and then when I am back in the right mind-set I'm not sure whether to contact them again in case it's no longer welcome.
So...er...the answer is 'it depends'  I suppose matching energies is the most likely to sustain because it'll be the most comfortable 'fit' - neither will be waiting for a response or feeling pressured into responding more quickly than they're comfortable with. |
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By *eli OP Woman 42 weeks ago
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"I need that "good match" energy in my relationships. I need the chemistry, the mutual desire, respect and matched effort.
I'm now at a point in my life where I won't settle for mediocre.
Its probably why I'm single really "
Mediocre sounds a tad harsh but yes, I know what you mean. Why settle? You've a romantic soul and I think when you possess one you're more likely to hold on to the idea that you can find mutual desire and chemistry and all those things that are important to you. |
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Matched energy is important although I think many expect more than I can give, I'm not one for small talk and easy conversation is most important to me, I'd rather chat once a month and it flow than an awkward "how's your day" every single day....my days don't vastly change & it becomes tedious quickly.
The issue I find on here is some people assume your horny 24/7 and jump straight in with the sex talk, it does nothing for me I'm probably trying to work or wash the pots or you know family stuff, fab is down the list of priorities and I don't think some like that much, my energy is probably less than many want.
I don't mind that at all they just aren't my people.
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If someone leaves me feeling I'm not getting what I like, I have a word with myself first of all to decide if my expectations are perhaps a tad unrealistic and if I'm comfortable shifting them.
If I'm still left feeling dissatisfied, I'd withdraw. |
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I'm happy to chat to anyone. If the conversation flows, great. If not then why continue?
I like that I have people on here that I chat to often and others infrequently. If we have that connection then the frequency doesn't always matter. I have no hidden agenda, I'm not trying to get a meet out of the conversation. I'm not disappointed if that's the result but it's not my ultimate goal.
But a question I posed in an earlier thread still stands. When does chatting become flirting and can you tell?
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"I'm happy to chat to anyone. If the conversation flows, great. If not then why continue?
I like that I have people on here that I chat to often and others infrequently. If we have that connection then the frequency doesn't always matter. I have no hidden agenda, I'm not trying to get a meet out of the conversation. I'm not disappointed if that's the result but it's not my ultimate goal.
But a question I posed in an earlier thread still stands. When does chatting become flirting and can you tell?
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I can never tell!
Mrs |
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"I'm happy to chat to anyone. If the conversation flows, great. If not then why continue?
I like that I have people on here that I chat to often and others infrequently. If we have that connection then the frequency doesn't always matter. I have no hidden agenda, I'm not trying to get a meet out of the conversation. I'm not disappointed if that's the result but it's not my ultimate goal.
But a question I posed in an earlier thread still stands. When does chatting become flirting and can you tell?
I can never tell!
Mrs "
That makes two of us.
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