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Rejection sensitivity dysphoria
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‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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"‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. "
I’ve not come across this, but I feel it, big time. I’m not sure I can support, but I know what you’re going through.
The last message I sent her was a goodbye (after 18 months of her getting d*unk and telling me she loves me and can’t be without me, followed by sobering up and apologising for being ‘over emotional’) - and now a week later all I want to do is let her know that I’m still here, and I’m still going to be here for the rest of her life.
I’m an over-emotional idiot who’s been used. And still I need her. |
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"I suspect this is part of my neurodivergence. It's less of a problem for me in terms of relationships than other areas, but I hear you."
It’s super annoying, I have a ridiculous 3 week period with 5 sexy things planned in with people I know I’m good to play with and I’m stressing over someone I’ve never met being slightly off with me. I just don’t get my brain sometimes. |
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"I suspect this is part of my neurodivergence. It's less of a problem for me in terms of relationships than other areas, but I hear you.
It’s super annoying, I have a ridiculous 3 week period with 5 sexy things planned in with people I know I’m good to play with and I’m stressing over someone I’ve never met being slightly off with me. I just don’t get my brain sometimes. "
The good thing about it (!) in my context is that it's an autism thing, and the backstory behind my rejection sensitivity makes *way* more sense. |
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"‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. "
I personally think that if you can't take rejection then this isn't the place for you, rejection is the main theme of fab  |
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There are loads of specifically focused worksheets for us ND people to reflect when RSD is getting the best of us. A quick google search is your friend. I keep copies around the house and at work in case I’m ever feeling like this, which is quite often lately. Also I’ve found that symptoms have improved since I started my ADHD medication 
Whatever works for you, I hope you find your own way, I know is the worst feeling in the world |
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"‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. I personally think that if you can't take rejection then this isn't the place for you, rejection is the main theme of fab "
I think you have totally missed the point of this post.
This isn’t someone saying no and me not accepting it.
It’s me perceiving something as rejection that isn’t due to neurodivergence. |
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"There are loads of specifically focused worksheets for us ND people to reflect when RSD is getting the best of us. A quick google search is your friend. I keep copies around the house and at work in case I’m ever feeling like this, which is quite often lately. Also I’ve found that symptoms have improved since I started my ADHD medication
Whatever works for you, I hope you find your own way, I know is the worst feeling in the world "
My wife and NP is helping and I think I’ve got over the himp of it today. |
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By *eliWoman 42 weeks ago
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Ah I don't have this so my solutions won't be a direct help.
I am, however, neurodiverse and prone to overthinking at certain times. I do worry about rejection so I actively avoid scenarios where that could be the case. Healthy I know. :D
Things that have really helped me...
One, matching energies. If I feel that the conversation/desire is waning, I don't put my heart and soul in to something. I make it less of a priority, whether that's replying energy and frequency or making time for it. It helps prevent me from overthinking, being disappointed when I don't really receive anything back.
Two, archiving conversations. Whether physically or mentally, not thinking about or looking back on things. Going for a swim, having sex, a long walk, all things that occupy my time and mind and make me feel good about myself help. I can sometimes get overexcited about something and if that's not returned in my mind, finding other things helps my mind.
Three - I remember it's not about me. That sounds harsh. It is. Useful as well. People go through things and the minutiae? It could be that. Challenge the daft thoughts.
Four is the most important - I try to live mindfully. Thinking about all the what ifs etc doesn't serve me. Taking that time to be in the moment helps a lot. So things might not be, they might be different? So what. Living in that moment really helps. |
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"Ah I don't have this so my solutions won't be a direct help.
I am, however, neurodiverse and prone to overthinking at certain times. I do worry about rejection so I actively avoid scenarios where that could be the case. Healthy I know. :D
Things that have really helped me...
One, matching energies. If I feel that the conversation/desire is waning, I don't put my heart and soul in to something. I make it less of a priority, whether that's replying energy and frequency or making time for it. It helps prevent me from overthinking, being disappointed when I don't really receive anything back.
Two, archiving conversations. Whether physically or mentally, not thinking about or looking back on things. Going for a swim, having sex, a long walk, all things that occupy my time and mind and make me feel good about myself help. I can sometimes get overexcited about something and if that's not returned in my mind, finding other things helps my mind.
Three - I remember it's not about me. That sounds harsh. It is. Useful as well. People go through things and the minutiae? It could be that. Challenge the daft thoughts.
Four is the most important - I try to live mindfully. Thinking about all the what ifs etc doesn't serve me. Taking that time to be in the moment helps a lot. So things might not be, they might be different? So what. Living in that moment really helps."
Thank you my dear, you are absolutely 100% correct about living in the moment and about it, not being about me. My sensible rational part of my brain is saying that it’s either just the way they handle this and nothing to do with me. All the person that I don’t need to talk to. However, as of all these things the negative thought derails the rational thought.
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"‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. I personally think that if you can't take rejection then this isn't the place for you, rejection is the main theme of fab
I think you have totally missed the point of this post.
This isn’t someone saying no and me not accepting it.
It’s me perceiving something as rejection that isn’t due to neurodivergence. "
exactly, so when they are actually rejecting you. It can be a very negative place for many  |
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"There are loads of specifically focused worksheets for us ND people to reflect when RSD is getting the best of us. A quick google search is your friend. I keep copies around the house and at work in case I’m ever feeling like this, which is quite often lately. Also I’ve found that symptoms have improved since I started my ADHD medication
Glad you are feeling better, is nice when you have supportive people that understands you
Whatever works for you, I hope you find your own way, I know is the worst feeling in the world
My wife and NP is helping and I think I’ve got over the himp of it today. "
|
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"‘Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure.’
This affects me quite a bit, I really need to work out how I can stop over analysing everything involved in messaging other people.
Today it’s really fucked with my head.
I know you lovely people will suggest solutions and I thank you for that. But I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my head round it. I personally think that if you can't take rejection then this isn't the place for you, rejection is the main theme of fab
I think you have totally missed the point of this post.
This isn’t someone saying no and me not accepting it.
It’s me perceiving something as rejection that isn’t due to neurodivergence. exactly, so when they are actually rejecting you. It can be a very negative place for many "
You’re not understanding this at all. |
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By *eliWoman 42 weeks ago
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"Thank you my dear, you are absolutely 100% correct about living in the moment and about it, not being about me. My sensible rational part of my brain is saying that it’s either just the way they handle this and nothing to do with me. All the person that I don’t need to talk to. However, as of all these things the negative thought derails the rational thought.
"
Negativity can definitely eat in to rationality but you can try and change that. I believe so anyway.
A few months ago I had a rather upsetting and difficult conversation with someone. Little things can remind me of those feelings - like this morning. So I try and do things that stop a thought becoming A Big Thing.
It's so much easier said than done but I hope you get there OP, x |
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 for anyone who needs it... when I first joined fab I was really affected by rejection....it used to get me found but I'm a little more ok with it these days... not 100 % by any stretch but getting there |
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Having met you OP you seem like a genuinely nice person who interacts well with people and can genuinely put them at ease in social situations.
I'm reading that you put a lot of pressure on yourself and overly concern yourself with a perception that you will fail to meet that person's expectations or indeed place your worries on something over which you have no control.
Your belief that you did something to illicit a negative response from someone you are yet to meet seems to be what concerns you. Don't forget that in the world of fab it can be easy to misconstrue what a person means as we are restricted to purely text based communication.
I hope that you can put your mind at ease and all goes well with the next few weeks.
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I have ADHD ,used to be super bad with it at school (kicked out at 13) , no one knew what ADHD was then ,but I've never had a problem with rejection , maybe it's coz I grapple a lot and it's humbling to get beat over and over again lol , I dunno if it shows up in my posts but some days I'm manic some days I'm fine |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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I have this and what’s helped me is having a God complex, I hope this helps x
Lol I’m joking don’t do that it’s not the best idea, however one thing that’s helped me is just accepting that people are their own people and I’m not the centre of everyone’s worlds. It’s a very very very hard pill to swallow alas it’s helped a lot. |
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