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Blood thicker than water
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family"
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones |
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"There are some blood relatives I really could not give a flying shite about. My non blood family are some of the people I care most about in the World"
Ever had to decide between them though? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 42 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
People are people, whether they're blood relatives or not.
Anyone can be deserving of love, care, respect, empathy etc.
Being related to them doesn't always determine that.
Nor does being married to them.
Life is fluid and its perfectly possible for your view on someone to change over time, dependant on many factors. |
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"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones "
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married. |
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I don’t believe in the bloods thicker than water thing. I’m very close to all my family and they would come first but not everyone is. My kids come before anyone. But would my mum and dad have come before my husband? No I don’t think they would have. |
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"I don’t believe in the bloods thicker than water thing. I’m very close to all my family and they would come first but not everyone is. My kids come before anyone. But would my mum and dad have come before my husband? No I don’t think they would have. "
Exactly!
That particular emotional battle has to be fought when parents get very old and need support. |
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"There are some blood relatives I really could not give a flying shite about. My non blood family are some of the people I care most about in the World
Ever had to decide between them though?"
I can only answer from my perspective and experience. The choice would be easy, blood family don't get an automatic pass because of being blood. Actions have consequences as far as my situation is concerned
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"There are some blood relatives I really could not give a flying shite about. My non blood family are some of the people I care most about in the World"
This.
You get to choose your friends, and they you. |
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"I don’t believe in the bloods thicker than water thing. I’m very close to all my family and they would come first but not everyone is. My kids come before anyone. But would my mum and dad have come before my husband? No I don’t think they would have.
Exactly!
That particular emotional battle has to be fought when parents get very old and need support. "
Yes it really does. And it’s not easy. You have to be a very strong couple to get through a lot of what life throws sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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An arsehole is an arsehole, and being family doesn’t change that. I’m not defending a family member who doesn’t deserve defending, just because I happen to be related to them |
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We used to care deeply about lots of people, but some of those people abused our kindness to such an extent that we’ve now pulled away from just about everybody. Our love is reserved for close family only. |
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"I don’t believe in the bloods thicker than water thing. I’m very close to all my family and they would come first but not everyone is. My kids come before anyone. But would my mum and dad have come before my husband? No I don’t think they would have.
Exactly!
That particular emotional battle has to be fought when parents get very old and need support.
Yes it really does. And it’s not easy. You have to be a very strong couple to get through a lot of what life throws sometimes. "
Life eh!  |
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By *a LunaWoman 42 weeks ago
South Wales |
My close family (kids, mum) and before they passed away (Nan, Grampy, step-dad, Uncle) are and were more important to me than friends.
Friends come and go, let you down, move away.
My close family are and were amazing. They have been the backbone of support I have needed when I needed it. Financially (at times) and emotionally.
I still miss my grandparents dreadfully, but I was lucky to have them into my 30’s.
Some of my bestest memories and happiest memories involve my family. I’m quite lucky though in that my family were and are a bit eccentric and kooky. Never a dull moment.
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married. "
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc. |
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"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married.
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc."
How do you feel? |
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I don't necessarily believe blood is thicker than water. And I don't believe all family members are equal. My kids I'd happily give up everything for. However, my best mate means more to me than my Dad. Think it very much depends on different individuals, on how you feel about them. |
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married.
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc.
How do you feel?"
I feel like many people say that it doesn't exist or don't believe in it, as it's easy to say.
My response to that is that it's one of those awful things people don't want to acknowledge is possibility will happen to them, because ignorance is bliss at these times. But I'm not accusing people of cowardice, I've had a view of how ignoring things and hoping they go away happens, not just with myself but people around me, goes down.
I do think there's something in it, I have some family members that aggressively fight anyone who threatens their 'space', but for me I think I've had enough of siding with people based on their own issues so I make it clear to mine that I will only do something if I see value in it. As a result I've definitely lost face with most of them lol |
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"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married.
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc.
How do you feel?
I feel like many people say that it doesn't exist or don't believe in it, as it's easy to say.
My response to that is that it's one of those awful things people don't want to acknowledge is possibility will happen to them, because ignorance is bliss at these times. But I'm not accusing people of cowardice, I've had a view of how ignoring things and hoping they go away happens, not just with myself but people around me, goes down.
I do think there's something in it, I have some family members that aggressively fight anyone who threatens their 'space', but for me I think I've had enough of siding with people based on their own issues so I make it clear to mine that I will only do something if I see value in it. As a result I've definitely lost face with most of them lol"
You're in a situation where your blood relatives feel they should come before your relationship? |
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"On a side, did you know this phrase has switched meaning diametrically.
Originally it was "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".
"
That's fascinating! Basically it now means completely the opposite. |
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married.
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc.
How do you feel?
I feel like many people say that it doesn't exist or don't believe in it, as it's easy to say.
My response to that is that it's one of those awful things people don't want to acknowledge is possibility will happen to them, because ignorance is bliss at these times. But I'm not accusing people of cowardice, I've had a view of how ignoring things and hoping they go away happens, not just with myself but people around me, goes down.
I do think there's something in it, I have some family members that aggressively fight anyone who threatens their 'space', but for me I think I've had enough of siding with people based on their own issues so I make it clear to mine that I will only do something if I see value in it. As a result I've definitely lost face with most of them lol
You're in a situation where your blood relatives feel they should come before your relationship? "
Oh no, ha, I've not got any problems with this, that I know of, but speaking from my experience and how I feel about the notion of it, which is what I think you asked me to answer... |
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"I care more for *some* members of my family (I include my husband in that) than any of my friends. I care more for my friends than some members of my family
Do you think marriage made you feel like you were "blood" relatives or do you think you pretty much always felt that way. Assuming you weren't married within 2 weeks of knowing or it was one of those arranged ones
That's a good question.
I think marriage made other people think of us as the same as 'blood' relatives. You do become someone's next of kin when you marry after all.
I can't say when our relationship began to feel like 'family' but it was long before we got married.
Difficult to remember a point in which your feelings (good or bad etc) towards someone change
I ask because of my own experiences with people in my life and how I feel about them etc.
How do you feel?
I feel like many people say that it doesn't exist or don't believe in it, as it's easy to say.
My response to that is that it's one of those awful things people don't want to acknowledge is possibility will happen to them, because ignorance is bliss at these times. But I'm not accusing people of cowardice, I've had a view of how ignoring things and hoping they go away happens, not just with myself but people around me, goes down.
I do think there's something in it, I have some family members that aggressively fight anyone who threatens their 'space', but for me I think I've had enough of siding with people based on their own issues so I make it clear to mine that I will only do something if I see value in it. As a result I've definitely lost face with most of them lol
You're in a situation where your blood relatives feel they should come before your relationship?
Oh no, ha, I've not got any problems with this, that I know of, but speaking from my experience and how I feel about the notion of it, which is what I think you asked me to answer..."
Oh right, yes I see  .
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"On a side, did you know this phrase has switched meaning diametrically.
Originally it was "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".
That's fascinating! Basically it now means completely the opposite. "
This is.
Rhetorically, I wonder why that happened?!  |
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My remaining few blood relatives have made plain they no longer wish to know me, I can live happily with never seeing them again. Including funerals. My step children and grand children mean an infinite amount more to me, I am proud of who they are and what they achieve with their lives. My closest friends, I give them my love and my life, although I am finding that perhaps I need to reserve enough for myself as the well refills more slowly with age. There are others at distance, including some whom I only know through these forums, who still mean more to me than my blood relatives. |
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There are family members I like. They always come first. Then there are friends I like who always come next. Then come family members who I don't really hate buy I don't care for them either way. They come next. Rest of the world comes after that. |
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By *hirley OP Man 42 weeks ago
somewhere |
"My remaining few blood relatives have made plain they no longer wish to know me, I can live happily with never seeing them again. Including funerals. My step children and grand children mean an infinite amount more to me, I am proud of who they are and what they achieve with their lives. My closest friends, I give them my love and my life, although I am finding that perhaps I need to reserve enough for myself as the well refills more slowly with age. There are others at distance, including some whom I only know through these forums, who still mean more to me than my blood relatives."
That sounds very sad still, even with you having some positivity about it |
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