FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are winks a waste of time?
Are winks a waste of time?
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Would appreciate your thoughts people. |
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Nah - I always review mine. Useful for starting a convo when there's a mutual attraction / mutual winking. |
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I find them somewhat pointless and perfunctory in their use. I rarely check my winks and I never send them.
I suspect they are more useful to couples to gauge an interest...I think... |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
We only respond to male winks.
We won’t respond to messages as stated. |
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By *xl PoseMan 47 weeks ago
West Lothian |
I've winked in the past & then been blocked!, so i don't bother anymore |
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I don’t look at mine and I don’t send them. I’d rather send a message |
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By *lan157Man 47 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
They are pointless . |
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We use them to show we are interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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I understand why ppl use them but I personally don't really look or respond to winks. |
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I've met a few on here which started from a wink, so I'd say they're definitely not a waste of time |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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They're incredibly important events in my life. |
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They are ok to show an initial interest  |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
No, especially for us introverts |
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I think they had meaning once upon a time but now I can't understand why people send them when they obviously have no intention of following up or expecting a reply. I mostly ignore them now. |
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Thanks everyone - a complete cross section of views , lol. |
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I’ll look very occasionally..
I’ve winked back twice.. got ignored…
Yeah. Pretty much a waste  |
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By *omRachCouple 47 weeks ago
Wirral |
[Removed by poster at 03/02/24 21:53:57] |
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I look at the profiles of winkers but I’d only get in touch with them if they had a decent profile, public pics and they were a good match. |
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By *omRachCouple 47 weeks ago
Wirral |
We tend to ignore winkers, if you want to talk to us then just message us (simples)
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By *bi HaiveMan 47 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
For men to send out? Quite possibly. They'll generally be lost in a large pule.
For men to recieve? Hell no. I've met many that initiated contact via a wink.
But then it's easier for guys to keep tabs on what will be a much lower number, much like messages.  |
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Bit of a strange one most women ignore them, I don't send them for that reason, but at the same time I receive winks from ladies, from some of the same lady's that say they ignore winks. Bit of a strange one really.
Assume it's a volume thing, guys generally get nothing consistently - women's profiles are a different world often with hundreds of messages. |
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I've had meets from them.
Even good chats and friends on the site from them.
So I say wink away |
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Yup! I never remember to check them. Same goes for the random friends requests |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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[Removed by poster at 03/02/24 22:14:20] |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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I don't look at them and I don't think I've sent one either. I'd rather just send a message. |
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I check mine and most are single men which were not looking for but we've had a few conversations start from a wink. I see it as a polite non pushy way of saying were interested in talking to you but no pressure so I don't see why people hate it so much especially when everyone complains about the messages they receive, not everyone reads every profile so seeing someone you like and sending a wink without reading a novel is a great way to start something I think |
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We ignore them, we tell people we ignore them right at the top of our profile in bold writing and they still keep sending them *facepalm* it filters out the people who can’t or won’t read I guess?
Hades
x |
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By *edeWoman 47 weeks ago
the abyss |
Uuhh to me yes as I don't use or look at them |
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By (user no longer on site) 47 weeks ago
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Waste fecking time.
Get real
Send msg
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Blimey it's hard enough to get a reply to a message, never mind a wink.   |
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Pointless to some but not others. We've had winks that have led to a hot meet, 99% lead to nothing. |
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When I first jumped on here I was using them a lot but got nothing back lol. Now I don’t send them but if someone I like the look of winks at me I’ll wink back to show I’m interested |
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We do check ours and message couples if we like how they look |
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I wink just to show im interested in them and hope it will be a icebreaker. |
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I look at them and sometimes wink back.i would rather a wink than a hi. |
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By *r TriomanMan 46 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
I respond to the ones that I received, if if it's a man that's winked; I just send a polite "no thanks" message.
However, winks that I send out to single females or MF couples are mostly ignored; which is why I very, Very rarely send them.
Winks a waste of time? Yes they are when it's me sending them; no, when it's me receiving them. |
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We’d really rather someone just hello than winked at us. |
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I’m beginning to think so, and also think messaging is a waste of time as well |
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I think they're fine, I've been happily winked at now and again |
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If we're interested in the profile we'll send a message.
If the profile isn't complete enough to know if we're interested or not, we'll send a wink on the off-chance. Nothing to lose, and from time to time it pays off.
Must be nice to be so in-demand you don't even bother to look at your winks. We like getting them, even when nothing comes of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Not necessarily
I do look through them time to time and sometimes message a profile that has winked us |
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They are harmless and have worked in the past |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Don’t think they are |
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TRUE - Stopped using them yeeeeaaaars ago
And if a lady Winks me, I ignore it...Coz I’m petty |
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We find them a waste of time. Even if we wink back it doesn't go anywhere. We prefer just to meet face to face.
It's quite possibly a throw back to speed dating. Don't think it's really relevant today. |
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Well said Bellaboo ,a non pushy way of showing an interest in a couple /profile . |
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I send winks to see if there is an interest there. I know I should send a message but couples & females get so many messages, I just feel a wink is better than a quick hi message. Let’s them know you are interested & leads them to my rubbish profile. lol |
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I like em, both giving and recieving. "Hey there, take a look" type of thing. |
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I've had winks from profiles and when I've winked back that's the end of the interaction.
If you send a wink and it is responded to then it's up to you to make the first move in regard to messaging. It's not up to the person you've winked.
In the past I've had people wink and follow it up immediately with a message that just said "Sent you a wink there" or "Just winked you".
Again when I've winked back or replied to say that I had, the conversation doesn't go any further.
If winks are really to gauge interest then who's interest is being gauged?
Your own or the person you are winking?
Some seem to use them as a lazy way to get others to do all the heavy lifting and start the conversation.
I've just looked at my winks now and there are some going back over a year that I've never seen before so that tells you how often I look at them. |
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Still use them great way of starting a conversation. |
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I think they are preferable to a one line cut and paste message. |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
We bulk delete them but do say this in our profile |
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By *incepiesMan 46 weeks ago
Nottingham (ish) |
Well I like a cheeky little wink,
You never know where they might lead |
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Only use them while playing forum games, useless otherwise but I understand how it can work for some. |
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We have had some good meets that started with a wink, so not always a waste of time.
Mrs |
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By *ee VianteWoman 46 weeks ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I check my winks and if someone I find interesting winks at me, I wink back. |
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It’s a shame a lot of people seem to ignore them. We will wink back if interested in who sends us winks then usually wait for them to message. If we wink first and get a wink back we will send a message introducing ourselves. If we aren’t interested we just delete the wink. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Yes sad to say |
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By *TG3Man 46 weeks ago
Dorchester |
They are the bees knees to me |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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We look at them but very rarely wink back. We prefer a message. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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It's another thing to keep track of, so I don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Utterly pointless. Our profile asks people not to send them, message instead. We get plenty of winks but very few messages..  |
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TBH winks wouldn't be pointless if people understood how to use them correctly.
Sent wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it, I/we would appreciate it if you would look at ours to see if you like it, are return a wink if you do."
Returned wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it too, and I am/we are signalling now that a private message would be welcome."
It's a very good and simple way of facilitating introductions while avoiding too much embarrassment or disappointment for either party. The British are after all reputed internationally for their expertise in social etiquette. Clearly that reputation is somewhat ill-founded, but the fact remains that good manners work well as long as everyone has them. |
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By *riel13Woman 46 weeks ago
Northampton |
Depends who you're winking, I think |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Doesn’t matter. I’m gon send them anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I send more winks than messages and quite often get a response. I also always check mine and respond if I'm interested.
I hate sending a bunch of well thought out messages and getting no response for some other reason, just feels like I've wasted so much time and effort.
So winks only take a second and don't waste anyone's time, better than just saying "Hi!" |
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Apparently so. I try them anyway, though. Just in case there's anyone who doesn't ignore them. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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They’ve been the starting point of a few conversations for me … seems loads don’t even look at them but clearly some do |
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Yes absolutely
Very rare so people reply, and yes I know I’m not for everyone but yeah I don’t think they work much at all.
Saying that I always reply to winks  |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Thanks everyone - a complete cross section of views , lol. "
What else did you expect from a forum made up of different people from different walks if life |
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I believe it’s subjective as they can be used to represent flirtation, playfulness, or a sign of agreement. However, mainly they’re widely accepted as a not very useful. |
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No. I use them and meets have resulted from them. |
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"TBH winks wouldn't be pointless if people understood how to use them correctly.
Sent wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it, I/we would appreciate it if you would look at ours to see if you like it, are return a wink if you do."
Returned wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it too, and I am/we are signalling now that a private message would be welcome."
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^^ This. We send a wink back if we've received one and checked out the profile of the one who initiated it. That's as it were the opening gambit. However, that's where the trail stops.
So why did the person send the first wink; are they then expecting us to do all the arranging, chasing up, messages?? |
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I'm sorry but I don't fully agree.
"...winks wouldn't be pointless if people understood how to use them correctly."
What is there to understand? It's a simple click and not an apparatus of levers and pulleys. The end result is still the same even if your whimsical method below is applied...
"Sent wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it, I/we would appreciate it if you would look at ours to see if you like it, are return a wink if you do.""
"Returned wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it too, and I am/we are signalling now that a private message would be welcome."."
Obviously.
As previously mentioned it's a perfunctory action; I don't send winks. Indeed I haven't sent one for over three years, other than those which are part of a forum game or a challenge (an equally pointless exercise).
I've sat next to 'women friends' at a social who have shown me their 'wink tally', with the number varying between 350 and 600++ winks. A wink from a single man - no matter how well-intentioned with all the airs and graces - will simply languish like a forgotten waif in some obscure orphanage.
No woman of substance has the time or the wherewithal to sift through an ever-increasing mountain of winks. Hence their limited use. In fairness they are useful to a small minority. |
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By *na64Woman 46 weeks ago
Manchester |
"Yup! I never remember to check them. Same goes for the random friends requests "
This!
Never remember to look and random friend request are ignored
I do check my “who’s looking at you” though |
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I've mentioned on here before that I haven't sent a first contact message or wink in 4 years but I have tested a theory once in regard to fabs and winks.
I took part in a fabathon and a winkathon that were both taking place at the same time.
I winked and fabbed every single woman and couple that said they were in on both threads and that filters allowed.
It was a few years ago so I can't remember the combined total but it was somewhere in the region of 35-40.
I didn't get a single wink or fab in return.
It proved a point that so many take part in those threads for the validation alone but have zero intention of ever reciprocating.
It's a little like the ask in private answer in public threads.
I've probably taken part in 25-30 of those and asked 100 questions, most of which have been answered.
In return I've had about half a dozen questions from people who aren't on my friends list.
Many things are said on the forums to gauge reactions or garner interest but are no more than lipservice. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"
I've sat next to 'women friends' at a social who have shown me their 'wink tally', with the number varying between 350 and 600++ winks. A wink from a single man - no matter how well-intentioned with all the airs and graces - will simply languish like a forgotten waif in some obscure orphanage.
No woman of substance has the time or the wherewithal to sift through an ever-increasing mountain of winks. Hence their limited use. In fairness they are useful to a small minority."
Hadn't really thought of that
...before, I would of said "wink" is a useful tool that's been rendered useless by people's attitude towards it. It's a harmless why of showing interest, that's treated with a strange distain by many fabbers
Having said that...women have to "sift through an ever- increasing mountain" of messages too
GULP!
Does that mean messaging is also only useful to a small minority? |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
Totally |
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I reckon they work sometimes if you’re lucky |
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Yes because then you have to wink with the other eye, so you're better off just blinking and saving time
(How many people are now sat there winking with both eyes intermittently?  .)
Mr H |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
Yes very much would much prefer a good message and face picture if the person is genuine. If they are not for us we message back letting them know politely. |
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We think it’s a good way to say hi, if you don’t get one back or a message you know they aren’t interested.
Shame most people don’t seem to like them |
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No, they’re not a waste of time. |
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We look at winks, if there is mutual interest we will make contact.
If not then we delete them
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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I look at them and I like profile find them attractive I wink back but not that often thou |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Sometimes a wink is the start of something fabulous.
Other times I miss them first time around, but if I'm checking out the profile at a later date and notice they have winked before, it could make me more inclined to drop a message.
They are definitely a useful tool  |
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Speaking as a 'single' male I'd say yes, largely a waste of time but so is writing a lot of nice personalised messages. It's a question of spending my precious time targeting specific couples with a nice message and then doing lots of winks to anyone else in the hope that it gets some sort of response in the form of a wink, message or follow up viewing. |
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"Sometimes a wink is the start of something fabulous.
Other times I miss them first time around, but if I'm checking out the profile at a later date and notice they have winked before, it could make me more inclined to drop a message.
They are definitely a useful tool "
Was just about to type this
We're the same
S xxx |
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I don’t think anything has come from a wink. |
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Correction. It did. I met a lady from one. Just before Christmas. She was lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Never sent one. Never responded to one. I just delete without looking at the sender |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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we review them, see if were interested, and also send them if were interested but unsure if were someones type |
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Had a few fuck meets off back of winks |
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Winks are a good way to see that someone is interested without the pressure. If the feeling is mutual then you can start a chat |
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No, I don't think so. For all those that delete or never check them, there's some that do, so what's to lose.
I think they're a good way of letting someone know you've noticed them. I like them. |
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Another thing that bugs me about winks is when you actually wink back and never hear from them again. Its like they wink and then want you to put all the effort in by composing a message back. |
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I posted above that i thought winks were a waste of time then almost immediately afterwards received a wink, followed by a message from the winker. They (couple) hadn't seen the forum thread and actually do want to meet, so I'll have to change my view - winks are great! |
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All great answers people - so I still don’t know if to bother winking or not |
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By *mf123Man 46 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
No they once changed my life |
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By *ascaIMan 46 weeks ago
Cheshire Liverpool Manchester |
If it means I get fully erect when I see one then it’s surely not a waste of time. |
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"All great answers people - so I still don’t know if to bother winking or not "
Try it and find out for yourself, what you got to lose? But what have you to gain. You'll only know if you try instead of asking random ppl on the forums...
Mr |
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I think of them more as a time saving thing.
It saves me the time to write a message, it also saves the time of the person gets my message not read it and just delete it. |
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By *urora1912Woman 46 weeks ago
Norfolk East anglia |
I use a wink to show interest and I check mine to see if anyone peeks an interest for me too |
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In my case if i am lucky i get 1 wink a month so it is not a bad idea for me to reply to it. |
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For me personally, yeah I never check em |
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I like a wink, don’t usually respond with a message, but wink back |
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After over 10 years of being in Fab, I cannot remember receiving a first time message from a solo female, but I’ve received winks aplenty, which have lead to bigger things
Ergo, from my perspective/experience; how would the ladies contact guys, it there was no wink option available……? |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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Lots of people use them as a first sign of interest - in honesty i forget they are there
Its interesting when you click on a profile and it says xx winked at you xx weeks ago .. I'm like ohhh they might be interested!! |
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It won’t let me wink for some reason. And I I always forget to look at winks anyway so yeah waste of time for me |
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Never had a problem with them, it's the polite way of just saying your interested without the ladies/couples freaking out with a message there probably never gonna read either and lost in there 100s of so called messages they receive, if they reciprocate they do if they don't they don't
I've had more great times starting from just a wink then anything else here
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"TBH winks wouldn't be pointless if people understood how to use them correctly.
Sent wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it, I/we would appreciate it if you would look at ours to see if you like it, are return a wink if you do."
Returned wink: "I/We have seen your profile and like it too, and I am/we are signalling now that a private message would be welcome."
It's a very good and simple way of facilitating introductions while avoiding too much embarrassment or disappointment for either party. The British are after all reputed internationally for their expertise in social etiquette. Clearly that reputation is somewhat ill-founded, but the fact remains that good manners work well as long as everyone has them."
Very much this. |
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We use them sometimes to show interest.
It’s usually someone who’s either a little younger than our norm or not the standard person we usually meet.
It’s a ‘hi, we like you, so have a look at our profile and see if you like us back’
If we get one back we’ll send a message. It’s sometimes better than sending a message and it being unread.
K
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Yes much prefer a nice message and face pic. We delete anyone who sends dick pics |
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We think winks are good and will wink back accordingly if someone takes our fancy. They work well as initial nod and an expression of interest. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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For me. No, I like a wink, it shows me if so sone had seen me and likes me enough to get my attention.
For them, yes. I’ve sent a few wink (don’t get me started on first messages) and nothing happened with them. |
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They serve a purpose to those who use them.
As expressed they are a possible sign of mutual attraction and possible starting point for open conversation.
Think of them as a simple swap left or right, if you match, we'll then you can take it to the next level.
Some will like it others won't.
But it's an additional feature which the site provides which allows the start of member interaction, like forums, chatrooms and messaging services do. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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I dont really check them, if i do they are usually from guys with no profile pic and blank profile, i mean how am i supposed to know if im interested? So never usually bother with winks |
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Interesting read .. I do finding getting winks nice as its just a oh hello .... as the impression I get is that couples and females get bombarded with messages so just a wi k to say have a quick look there's some info on my profile and if you like wink back .
If I send a message and I don't get a reply it's more of a slap in my ugly face than an ignored wink |
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We love winks, we use them if we find a profile we are attracted to, then if we get a wink bank we’ll open a conversation |
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So I’ll wink back at profiles if they wink me and I’m Interested. But I’ve noticed about half then don’t message.
I think it’s unwritten law that the first winker in a winking pair event sends the first message , keeps things fair & going in turns etc |
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I Never look at them or check who has visited my profile. Just Fabs immediately, and messages days later. |
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I just don’t get why people from far away would ? It’s not likely your ever going to meet as there miles away & even if they say they would travel to you been there with some & it never happens |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I love them! |
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"Nah - I always review mine. Useful for starting a convo when there's a mutual attraction / mutual winking. "
Same as...if its someone we like the look of! |
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By *iz78Woman 35 weeks ago
wirral |
I use them because I'm shy |
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I like giving them because I get tongue tied |
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Prefer message saying you read the profile and there something that interested you .but winks are good
Are oK you can look at the other person profile and respond or not . |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"Nah - I always review mine. Useful for starting a convo when there's a mutual attraction / mutual winking. "
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Each to our own. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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We have used winks in the past to see if their is interest. |
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I think they have a place and they mean more to some than others. Surely a wink is testing the water and letting people know you are intrigued.
A message is always better but again, some on here are inundated with those aswell, you could be a Shakespeare in waiting and your message will fall by the wayside.
A wink must mean you would like to know more an dif the recipient does not respond, you have your answer.
There may be a better alternative but for now that's what we have in this site so go with it. |
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I rarely look at winks and the last time I did there were some from 6 months previously that I'd never seen.
I didn't realise I had email notifications turned on for winks because I've never had an email when I got a wink until yesterday.
When I clicked on the link in the email it took me to my wink page but there was no wink from said profile.
The last wink showing was from months ago.
I searched for the person and it says on their profile that they winked me yesterday but there is nothing showing at my end.
I didn't wink back for numerous reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I just got winked by another cock pic! This thread has been worthwhile after all! |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Those who enjoy receiving them are the least likely to receive them and those who find them pointless are the most likely to receive them I believe, I'd be the former |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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By *hitney NeilWoman 35 weeks ago
Hiding in a marmite jar near you. |
"I just got winked by another cock pic! This thread has been worthwhile after all!
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Which direction? "
Hello stranger |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I just got winked by another cock pic! This thread has been worthwhile after all!
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Which direction?
Hello stranger "
I still keep getting marketing emails from that damn passage house hotel!  |
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"Would appreciate your thoughts people."
we look at them and sometimes respond
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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"I don’t look at them. "
I can’t wink. |
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By *eah BabyCouple 35 weeks ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Can’t say we pay any or much attention, I’d say better to message if wanting a response |
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Depends- if I get a wink and there isn't much on the profile and no public pictures, I don't respond.
Sometimes I will wink back if I've liked what's on the profile and pictures.
Winks from hidden profiles- don't understand that one. |
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"I don’t look at them.
I can’t wink. "
Autocorrect? |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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Yes they're lazy. I delete them all. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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I think when you get a wink from someone you really fancy it’s the best thing ever! When it's from someone you don’t then it can be awkward…  |
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Sometimes. A message would be better |
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Yeaa. I’ve kinda concluded they are… |
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By *ony MannMan 35 weeks ago
Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura |
I don't use winks, but alway check them, once I met a shy peep, she was divine. |
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By (user no longer on site) 35 weeks ago
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We always look at our winks
Mrs |
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By *omscoCouple 35 weeks ago
wembley |
We check ours & wink back if interested x |
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Winks are great to show interest. We use them for this purpose, if we don't get one back take it as a no thank you and we move on x |
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