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(Just for fun) Worst opening message to send
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now."
How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"It puts the lotion in the basket.
Woosh over my head. 
Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket! 
(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP) "
Time for a re-watch next movie night. Obviously with chianti and fava beans to snack on. |
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Your bins are really boring! Anyway, I’ve got the knickers I stole from your washing line on my head and my cock is currently in your letterbox. Will you please pop the hoover on the old chap while my dog licks my bumhole?
Ps sorry about the bird table. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Your bins are really boring! Anyway, I’ve got the knickers I stole from your washing line on my head and my cock is currently in your letterbox. Will you please pop the hoover on the old chap while my dog licks my bumhole?
Ps sorry about the bird table."
And this didn't work out for you! What is wrong with this place! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Apparently your dad will let me out of the closet if I tell him your mum's middle name and why I have her knickers. Can you help?"
She doesn't have a middle name....You're going to be in there a while I'm afraid. |
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"I wasn't really looking for a fuck
But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .
You free Now? "
Never been into men it was a joke
Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"I wasn't really looking for a fuck
But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .
You free Now?
Never been into men it was a joke
Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love ."
You mean in love?.... Congrats mate, hope it works out. |
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"I wasn't really looking for a fuck
But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .
You free Now?
Never been into men it was a joke
Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love .
You mean in love?.... Congrats mate, hope it works out. "
Thanks yep in . fat finger syndrome sorry . |
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By *orny PTMan 43 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.
How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me? "
Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.
How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?
Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!"
Ah, so it was choclates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"Actual fab message from yesterday;
“Let me shit in your mouth”
Indeed. 
Indeed? Should that say Kinked in, instead?"
No. Just agreeing someone recieving such a message is |
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By *aizyWoman 43 weeks ago
west midlands |
"It puts the lotion in the basket.
Woosh over my head.
Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!
(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)
We so need to go to the cinema Xx"
We do!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 43 weeks ago
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"It puts the lotion in the basket.
Woosh over my head.
Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!
(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)
We so need to go to the cinema Xx
We do!! "
Are we all going together in costume? |
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By *orny PTMan 43 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Actual fab message from yesterday;
“Let me shit in your mouth”
Indeed.
Indeed? Should that say Kinked in, instead?
No. Just agreeing someone recieving such a message is "
I know, it was purely a play on words at lousy agencies expense. |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.
How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?
Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!
Ah, so it was choclates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder. "
If the seagulls took everything, it was a few bags of cold chips |
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By *orny PTMan 43 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.
How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?
Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!
Ah, so it was chocolates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder.
If the seagulls took everything, it was a few bags of cold chips "
Keehar and his friends didn't take the hint, when I told them to "Piss off", as I was flaying my arms at them, whilst hanging on to the TV ariel.
Chocolate chip shortbreads an'all.
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