FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Surprised by people that've never been with black person (deleted early post cos of typos)
Surprised by people that've never been with black person (deleted early post cos of typos)
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"The only thing uncomfortable, is this thread. " Why? | |||
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"And if it states I'm looking for men where does that discount any that aren't Caucasian? Surely men are men?" Obviously, this doesn't apply to you then. LOL, I have seen a couple of accounts that come off as fetishizing. There's nothing wrong with having a fetish, but it can get pretty uncomfortable at some point for the fetishized person. | |||
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"I’ve never fucked a black woman, that was pretty easy to say. " I’ve also never fucked a black man, just to make it clear, I’m not being sexist. …….. ……. | |||
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"I’ve never fucked a black woman, that was pretty easy to say. I’ve also never fucked a black man, just to make it clear, I’m not being sexist. …….. ……. "  | |||
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"The only thing uncomfortable, is this thread. "  I do admit it's an comfortable conversation. I kinda love comfortable conversations, it's really the only way we can interrogate these beliefs (if they exist). Public discourse if filled with people trying to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
But, tbf, you don't have to partake if you don't want to | |||
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"I’ve never fucked a black woman, that was pretty easy to say. I’ve also never fucked a black man, just to make it clear, I’m not being sexist. …….. ……. " | |||
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"I am surprised by the number white women who have never been with a nonwhite man before…" I am not sure why, given that non whites only make up 12-15% of the population, there are huge areas of the country with no non whites. Part of the reason I am on fab is to interact with people that I would not meet otherwise. Vive la difference | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit"." I imagine this thread will be deleted at some point by a moderator. Some of the replies are already quite apprehensive. I guess it's one of those conversations you're not expected to have out loud. LOL | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit"." And fwiw I've slept with black/mixed race men. | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? " Or a black person that's never been with a white person... I can feel a truth table coming on | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". I imagine this thread will be deleted at some point by a moderator. Some of the replies are already quite apprehensive. I guess it's one of those conversations you're not expected to have out loud. LOL" It usually becomes a bun fight. Usual bollocks. | |||
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"The only thing uncomfortable, is this thread. I do admit it's an comfortable conversation. I kinda love comfortable conversations, it's really the only way we can interrogate these beliefs (if they exist). Public discourse if filled with people trying to avoid uncomfortable conversations.
But, tbf, you don't have to partake if you don't want to"Meant *UNcomfortable  | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". · And fwiw I've slept with black/mixed race men." • Yes, but did you make love to them? I mean, we all need a multicultural nap every once in a while.  | |||
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"Living in London, and for all the time I've been on Fab, the significant (but not all) majority of caucasian women within my locale are mostly/exclusively only interested in "black" men. Indeed they will go as far as to say that they are not interested in sleeping with white men. I won't even tell you what they say about the 'asian' men." LOL, that is kinda my experience tbf. It's always one extreme or another. But a lot of the replies feels quite apprehensive. | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". · And fwiw I've slept with black/mixed race men. • Yes, but did you make love to them? I mean, we all need a multicultural nap every once in a while. "I know what you want to hear and I will not give you the satisfaction. Perv. | |||
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"There are no winners here." Should have listened to you | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". I imagine this thread will be deleted at some point by a moderator. Some of the replies are already quite apprehensive. I guess it's one of those conversations you're not expected to have out loud. LOL It usually becomes a bun fight. Usual bollocks. " Yep! | |||
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"I am surprised by the number white women who have never been with a nonwhite man before. Even on this platform, it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation. Because of how uncomfortable the conversation generally is, people avoid even talking about it, I imagine nobody wants to feel like they're being discriminatory, but it's such a staggering experience from a lot of people I have talked to. I wonder what your experience has been? " It’s something like an 80% white county so I dunno what else you’d expect | |||
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"Why are you so surprised? Why should they have to? I can’t even see why this is even a discussion. Whether they choose not to or haven’t had the chance to I don’t think it’s a problem. " I didn't say it was a problem. Just read the message again and relax a bit. It's not a civil court. | |||
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"I am surprised by the number white women who have never been with a nonwhite man before. Even on this platform, it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation. Because of how uncomfortable the conversation generally is, people avoid even talking about it, I imagine nobody wants to feel like they're being discriminatory, but it's such a staggering experience from a lot of people I have talked to. I wonder what your experience has been? It’s something like an 80% white county so I dunno what else you’d expect " Fair enough | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". · And fwiw I've slept with black/mixed race men. • Yes, but did you make love to them? I mean, we all need a multicultural nap every once in a while.
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I know what you want to hear and I will not give you the satisfaction. Perv. "• I'm more interested in knowing whether YOU gave THEM the satisfaction.   | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? " Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known | |||
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"I have not been with a black or coloured person of either gender, they simply don't "rock my boat"!" Man, this post is a lifesaver. Cos the kumbaya session of "I don't see colour" was making it feel like I am out of my mind for talking about something I HAVE experienced a few times. | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known" Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. " If you know people are quite fixated on it, your earlier message was kinda weird to be honest, and obviously it's something I have experienced, that is why I made the post. | |||
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People like what they like & it’s fine | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. " And it's actually OKAY to discuss race, sexuality, etc with people. People see it, people have feelings about it. I dislike that in public discourse it's become almost criminal to talk about race, because everyone is scared of being touchy. | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? " That would be more surprising | |||
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"I didn't go with a black guy until I was 22 as there where very very few black guys where I live I was even older when I first went with an Asian guy" Oh, that's nice. It's something that I didn't consider. I live in the city center, so you don't get that perspective that we're actually very few around | |||
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"Sheesh this thread is going well. #Fire #Manlike" LOL, it was about to go downhill at some point. Might still go downhill eventually
Unless you were being sarcastic. LOL | |||
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"Given that 82% of the population are white, and the percentage increases the further away you get from major cities, why are you surprised?" It's something that I didn't consider. I live in the city center, so I did't get that perspective that we're actually very few around | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. And it's actually OKAY to discuss race, sexuality, etc with people. People see it, people have feelings about it. I dislike that in public discourse it's become almost criminal to talk about race, because everyone is scared of being touchy. " I'm happy enough to talk about race etc. It's the talking about people's sexual histories I'm not, unless it's relevant to meeting on here. | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. One of my experiences with racism was a bunch of white people grilling me asking me various stereotypes. ‘What’s it like being Black?’ ‘Is it true what they say about Black guys?’ ‘How big is your penis?’ ‘Can you get it out and show us?’ ‘Do you wish you were white?’ I laugh about it now after all the therapy "That's just wrong in epic proportions. | |||
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"I'm.suprised by the amount of profile names that include BBC. I am comfortable with all races it's all about the person for me." LOL, to be fair I see a lot of accounts going "Black guys only" too, so I guess eventually, it may become helpful to put the BBC somewhere in there. Even if on average there's no significant difference that suggests black men have a larger dick. Porn just did a major damage contributing to these things. | |||
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"I haven’t. I’m saving myself for Hondo " who is hondo please?!!! | |||
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"I haven’t. I’m saving myself for Hondo
who is hondo please?!!!"Shemar Moore. He’s beautiful  | |||
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"I haven’t. I’m saving myself for Hondo
who is hondo please?!!!
Shemar Moore. He’s beautiful "Oh yeah? He's dope. He's in Motives, beautiful movie with lots of 'bodies' if you want to be naughty | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... When people learn/educate themselves properly with history.. The Romans’ vikings Egyptians and Alexandra the great etc etc didn’t care what colour your were.. Life is bloody hard.. Stop the bleeting and moaning.. People don’t like people for many reasons doesn’t matter what religion or nationality or colour they are... People need to get there head out the clouds and stop thinking there saving the world sitting on there sofa on social media..." Okay Boss! Cheers! | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. And it's actually OKAY to discuss race, sexuality, etc with people. People see it, people have feelings about it. I dislike that in public discourse it's become almost criminal to talk about race, because everyone is scared of being touchy. " I couldn’t agree with you more. It appears ok to discuss race, as long as you’re not black because it then apparently makes others uncomfortable! You asked a genuine question and the sh*t show that followed speaks volumes. You’re not talking about racism, just asking a general question from your perspective of being a black person on this site but apparently your point or question is invalid, as it involves race! We all have preferences and should (especially on what is supposed to be an open forum) be able to discuss these in an adult manner, but I won’t hold my breathe on that happening anytime soon. It becomes exhausting even trying to discuss race with others. It’s just not their lived experience, and makes a lot of people who are not affected by frequent micro aggressions, being ignored or belittled, uncomfortable as they seriously don’t want to acknowledge that it actually happens; often. It’s not an every day occurrence or even an every week thing but once in a while it WILL happen. I’ve been here for a few years and generally lurk in the forums and every so often, something like this occurs and it’s another eye opener and great use for the block button. | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. One of my experiences with racism was a bunch of white people grilling me asking me various stereotypes. ‘What’s it like being Black?’ ‘Is it true what they say about Black guys?’ ‘How big is your penis?’ ‘Can you get it out and show us?’ ‘Do you wish you were white?’ I laugh about it now after all the therapy
That's just wrong in epic proportions. "It sounds sad but it is what it is. I took a leave of absence from uni after my second year and when I told the uni they were actually really supportive. But it definitely affected me. But also made me decide to do my disso research (only undergrad but still) on racism at uni and I read and learned lots and lots about the stuff that’s been written on it. And that helped me understand who I am and make sense of my experiences. Everything for a reason and that. | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... When people learn/educate themselves properly with history.. The Romans’ vikings Egyptians and Alexandra the great etc etc didn’t care what colour your were.. Life is bloody hard.. Stop the bleeting and moaning.. People don’t like people for many reasons doesn’t matter what religion or nationality or colour they are... People need to get there head out the clouds and stop thinking there saving the world sitting on there sofa on social media..." This tweet, in response to people sharing their experiences is peak Britain. Fairs | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. One of my experiences with racism was a bunch of white people grilling me asking me various stereotypes. ‘What’s it like being Black?’ ‘Is it true what they say about Black guys?’ ‘How big is your penis?’ ‘Can you get it out and show us?’ ‘Do you wish you were white?’ I laugh about it now after all the therapy
That's just wrong in epic proportions.
It sounds sad but it is what it is. I took a leave of absence from uni after my second year and when I told the uni they were actually really supportive. But it definitely affected me. But also made me decide to do my disso research (only undergrad but still) on racism at uni and I read and learned lots and lots about the stuff that’s been written on it. And that helped me understand who I am and make sense of my experiences. Everything for a reason and that. "Undergrad research projects are just as valid as others, don't put yourself down Mr. Making sense of things does help understand context. But tbh that's just dumb a lazy stereotypic by those you described. | |||
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"Why are you surprised OP? And how would you know they haven't? Or do you ask all white women what ethnicities they've been with in the past? Maybe because they say it. Maybe because they post it on their wall. Maybe because I ask. There are so many ways that information can be known Then maybe it's the people you interact with? I've never discussed the race, sexual orientation or anything else come to it of who other people have met with. It seems irrelevant to me, though I know some people are quite fixated on these things, from the messages we get. And it's actually OKAY to discuss race, sexuality, etc with people. People see it, people have feelings about it. I dislike that in public discourse it's become almost criminal to talk about race, because everyone is scared of being touchy. I couldn’t agree with you more. It appears ok to discuss race, as long as you’re not black because it then apparently makes others uncomfortable! You asked a genuine question and the sh*t show that followed speaks volumes. You’re not talking about racism, just asking a general question from your perspective of being a black person on this site but apparently your point or question is invalid, as it involves race! We all have preferences and should (especially on what is supposed to be an open forum) be able to discuss these in an adult manner, but I won’t hold my breathe on that happening anytime soon. It becomes exhausting even trying to discuss race with others. It’s just not their lived experience, and makes a lot of people who are not affected by frequent micro aggressions, being ignored or belittled, uncomfortable as they seriously don’t want to acknowledge that it actually happens; often. It’s not an every day occurrence or even an every week thing but once in a while it WILL happen. I’ve been here for a few years and generally lurk in the forums and every so often, something like this occurs and it’s another eye opener and great use for the block button." The dude I just called "Boss" just wanted to dismiss the conversation because he doesn't like it. Very funny lad Like I initially said, it wasn't about race. People steer it in that direction and then get offended thinking you may have some notions about them. It's so hilarious. If not for the accounts that said they have never been with black people (as it was a deliberate decision) or that they didn't because there was non they found attractive where they lived. the Originally Post would have been totally invalidated as me being whiny and looking for a pity party. | |||
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"I have not been with a black or coloured person of either gender, they simply don't "rock my boat"!" . | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too." . | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... When people learn/educate themselves properly with history.. The Romans’ vikings Egyptians and Alexandra the great etc etc didn’t care what colour your were.. Life is bloody hard.. Stop the bleeting and moaning.. People don’t like people for many reasons doesn’t matter what religion or nationality or colour they are... People need to get there head out the clouds and stop thinking there saving the world sitting on there sofa on social media..." Kindly educate me What it is that black people want? What are they not getting to bring it back to being black and racism? I'm perplexed as no where in his question did he mention racism but it's apparently now at the top of the agenda because he dared to be a black man asking a question about HIS lived experience? | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... When people learn/educate themselves properly with history.. The Romans’ vikings Egyptians and Alexandra the great etc etc didn’t care what colour your were.. Life is bloody hard.. Stop the bleeting and moaning.. People don’t like people for many reasons doesn’t matter what religion or nationality or colour they are... People need to get there head out the clouds and stop thinking there saving the world sitting on there sofa on social media..." And here we have the obligatory white male, aged 18-49, educating us all about a prejudice he has never experienced. What took you so long?! | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? That would be more surprising" A Black person that’s not been with another Black person is surprising but factors like where they live etc are relevant. But not finding other Black people attractive.. that’s surprising IN MY OPINION. | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. " I'm so confused by this. How do you mean this?, genuinely question. | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. I'm so confused by this. How do you mean this?, genuinely question." Plenty of white people in this country haven’t met a Black person. When you interact with them (online or you’re the first Black person they’ve met) you can immediately tell that they’ve never met a Black person before. Because of how they proceed to act. What they say. And I went on in that post to give an example of my own experiences. | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? That would be more surprising A Black person that’s not been with another Black person is surprising but factors like where they live etc are relevant. But not finding other Black people attractive.. that’s surprising IN MY OPINION. " It is! But I am glad he posted and got a few other replies as well. Because, frankly I was getting tired by the kumbaya, almost patronizing replies and the apprehensive replies. Like dude, I don't care if you only sleep with a multi-coloured rainbow species from space. I just wanted to know if it was a shared experience and why. Obviously not having lived with other people for a long while would affect who you're attracted to and that is a very valid reason. I moved to to UK not long ago, it took me a while too to get comfortable around an entirely different looking people. I just wish these types of conversations aren't this demonized everywhere. | |||
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"Plenty of white people in this country have never even met a Black person and when you interact with them you can tell. I'm so confused by this. How do you mean this?, genuinely question." So my home country was colonized by Britain, English is our official language, asides our many other local languages. I have been "complimented" twice by colleagues at work that I speak very good English, and they asked how long I have been in the UK. Obviously they aren't being racist, they genuinely did not know. But with that I can fairly deduce that they haven't had that many interactions with black people, particularly immigrants. | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? That would be more surprising A Black person that’s not been with another Black person is surprising but factors like where they live etc are relevant. But not finding other Black people attractive.. that’s surprising IN MY OPINION. It is! But I am glad he posted and got a few other replies as well. Because, frankly I was getting tired by the kumbaya, almost patronizing replies and the apprehensive replies. Like dude, I don't care if you only sleep with a multi-coloured rainbow species from space. I just wanted to know if it was a shared experience and why. Obviously not having lived with other people for a long while would affect who you're attracted to and that is a very valid reason. I moved to to UK not long ago, it took me a while too to get comfortable around an entirely different looking people. I just wish these types of conversations aren't this demonized everywhere. " It’s part of the gaslighting. Almost like a ‘I’m a good person so your experiences don’t seem likely’ kinda vibe. It is patronising and it’s why I generally don’t engage with certain topics on race unless I have the patience 
Don’t worry bro, you’re not going mad. But I do think, like I said, you just reach a point where you don’t even care anymore man. Like I don’t even care if White people don’t think Black people are attractive. Because we are. | |||
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"Does seem weird that race is the one thing that’s considered controversial to have a preference on Fat/thin, tall/short, male/female, big boobs/small boobs, hung/not hung, all no problem You can even say “no tories”. No one bats an eyelid I find black women and eastern Asian women far less attractive than white women. Just like I’m not into slim women. But one of those is controversial and the other is just my preference. Weird. Especially since both those preferences are based on how those people make me feel in terms of sexual attraction" I can’t speak for the people on here but I can say I’m consistently going to tell people that their preferences come from things. Usually (NOT ALWAYS) from dominant ideas. I’t is what it is man | |||
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"Does seem weird that race is the one thing that’s considered controversial to have a preference on Fat/thin, tall/short, male/female, big boobs/small boobs, hung/not hung, all no problem You can even say “no tories”. No one bats an eyelid I find black women and eastern Asian women far less attractive than white women. Just like I’m not into slim women. But one of those is controversial and the other is just my preference. Weird. Especially since both those preferences are based on how those people make me feel in terms of sexual attraction I can’t speak for the people on here but I can say I’m consistently going to tell people that their preferences come from things. Usually (NOT ALWAYS) from dominant ideas. I’t is what it is man" True true. Seems like a pointless battle since you’ll never changes someone’s preferences but keep fighting the fight | |||
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"Is it equally surprising if a black person has never been with a black person? Or a white person has only ever been with black people? What exactly is the surprise? That would be more surprising A Black person that’s not been with another Black person is surprising but factors like where they live etc are relevant. But not finding other Black people attractive.. that’s surprising IN MY OPINION. " I’m Black Caribbean and have never been with a black man in my life. I can appreciate there are attractive black people but I’m not attracted to black men, and never have been. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . " And what's wrong with what I've said?? | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said??" Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but | |||
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"Statistically speaking there is no surprise." Shock horror, there's a lot of white people here in Blighty. I've never had a black neighbour and I've had 30 addresses. What does that say? Nowt: it's pure trivia. As Mark Twain is oft quoted "There are lies, damned lies and statistics" | |||
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"Knew it would go this way although hoping it wouldn't for you. All the hostile replies without even reading your OP properly. It's ridiculous. I find plenty of non-white men attractive, not just black guys. There are some very sexy men of all skin colours here. " LMAOOOO . Now I am just waiting for the moderator to delete it. Cos I am tired. Constantly swinging from "I don't see colour" to "Why are you whining, it's a personal preference". Luckily there are a few inbetweens who just share their experiences without fixating on the tags that triggers everyone apparently | |||
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"Knew it would go this way although hoping it wouldn't for you. All the hostile replies without even reading your OP properly. It's ridiculous. I find plenty of non-white men attractive, not just black guys. There are some very sexy men of all skin colours here. LMAOOOO . Now I am just waiting for the moderator to delete it. Cos I am tired. Constantly swinging from "I don't see colour" to "Why are you whining, it's a personal preference". Luckily there are a few inbetweens who just share their experiences without fixating on the tags that triggers everyone apparently "did you ask for it to be deleted? | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but "And personally I don't like using the term "black". Each to their own and all that! | |||
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"I haven’t. I’m saving myself for Hondo
who is hondo please?!!!
Shemar Moore. He’s beautiful "Anyone who thinks otherwise is just wrong. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!"A black man has just told you that black is the preferred term. But you will use the term you want?  | |||
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"Ive not read the full thread, however I'm not surprised at all. Where I live, it's rare to see a non white person. It wasn't until I started going to clubs in the Midlands that I had that pleasure." Yeah. Like I said, it was a perspective I didn't realize till people mentioned it. I once visited a fairly remote area around the outskirts of Whitby, I think it's called Castleton Moor, mostly farms and stables. Was in the tiny village/town for about 3.5 hours and walked around, I was the only non-white person in the entire place, got a few stares when I went to the nearby coffee shop for a hot chocolate. A weird but fun experience | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... " I'm white British/Irish and I'm calling this out as a racist statement. How could you possibly know or predict what ALL black people have done or will do? Gbat | |||
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"I haven’t. I’m saving myself for Hondo
who is hondo please?!!!
Shemar Moore. He’s beautiful
Anyone who thinks otherwise is just wrong."Oh I didn't know who he was but now I do. He's lovely. | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T"  my god that's so patronising | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T" Alright Ma'am! | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
A black man has just told you that black is the preferred term. But you will use the term you want? "Yes because I find using the term "black" to describe someone as being racist. | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... I'm white British/Irish and I'm calling this out as a racist statement. How could you possibly know or predict what ALL black people have done or will do? Gbat " 'Cos history, apparently... | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T my god that's so patronising "I dunno, OP seemed completely unaware he was in an 80% white majority country I dunno how you miss that without having extremely limited horizons | |||
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"I've not slept with a black woman, probably won't, I don't seem to find them attractive, I prefer pale complexions. Perhaps a lot of people find attraction with those more closely matched skin tone wise? " Jeezz, I'm attracted to Casper the ghost then | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... I'm white British/Irish and I'm calling this out as a racist statement. How could you possibly know or predict what ALL black people have done or will do? Gbat 'Cos history, apparently... "Yeah the Romans and Egyptians you know.... he's so well read | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T Alright Ma'am!" That’s so sexist because I’m actually a man but it’s ok. T | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T Alright Ma'am! That’s so sexist because I’m actually a man but it’s ok. T" Alright Ma'am | |||
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"I'm outraged shocked angry and just outraged. I dunno what I'm outraged by but as everyone else seems to be going berserk I thought I'd join in. It's disgusting and shocking " | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
A black man has just told you that black is the preferred term. But you will use the term you want?
Yes because I find using the term "black" to describe someone as being racist. "...despite the fact that someone has told you "black" is preferred by them, and despite the fact that "coloured" is an outdated (and to me, off-key) term from the colonial, apartheid and Jim Crow eras? Okeydoke... ...I'd genuinely like to know and understand your reasoning, Sparkle? | |||
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"Personally speaking op I think you may need to get out more and broaden your horizons. T Alright Ma'am! That’s so sexist because I’m actually a man but it’s ok. T Alright Ma'am" Ouch touché!!!!! Good retort. T | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
A black man has just told you that black is the preferred term. But you will use the term you want?
Yes because I find using the term "black" to describe someone as being racist.
...despite the fact that someone has told you "black" is preferred by them, and despite the fact that "coloured" is an outdated (and to me, off-key) term from the colonial, apartheid and Jim Crow eras? Okeydoke...
...I'd genuinely like to know and understand your reasoning, Sparkle?"It's simple really. My parents brought me up to never use the term "black" as it was seen as disrespectful. At the end of the day not everyone is going to use terms to suit all. If someone I'm speaking to refers themselves to whatever then obviously I would use whatever. | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... I'm white British/Irish and I'm calling this out as a racist statement. How could you possibly know or predict what ALL black people have done or will do? Gbat 'Cos history, apparently...
Yeah the Romans and Egyptians you know.... he's so well read "...and "Alexandra (sic) The Great", which will come as a surprise to more than a few historians, I reckon... | |||
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"one thing is for sure. I find people with ugly attitudes to be very unattractive." Nicely put! Gbat | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
A black man has just told you that black is the preferred term. But you will use the term you want?
Yes because I find using the term "black" to describe someone as being racist.
...despite the fact that someone has told you "black" is preferred by them, and despite the fact that "coloured" is an outdated (and to me, off-key) term from the colonial, apartheid and Jim Crow eras? Okeydoke...
...I'd genuinely like to know and understand your reasoning, Sparkle?
It's simple really. My parents brought me up to never use the term "black" as it was seen as disrespectful.
At the end of the day not everyone is going to use terms to suit all. If someone I'm speaking to refers themselves to whatever then obviously I would use whatever."Thanks - appreciate the explanation. | |||
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"It's simple really. My parents brought me up to never use the term "black" as it was seen as disrespectful. " Do you think maybe they got that wrong? Either way, it's out of date now isn't it? Gbat | |||
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"It's simple really. My parents brought me up to never use the term "black" as it was seen as disrespectful. Do you think maybe they got that wrong? Either way, it's out of date now isn't it? Gbat " No idea as I tend not to get involved in any race threads...now I know why. At the end of the day, we are all human beings whatever skin colour we have. | |||
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"Knew it would go this way although hoping it wouldn't for you. All the hostile replies without even reading your OP properly. It's ridiculous. I find plenty of non-white men attractive, not just black guys. There are some very sexy men of all skin colours here. LMAOOOO . Now I am just waiting for the moderator to delete it. Cos I am tired. Constantly swinging from "I don't see colour" to "Why are you whining, it's a personal preference". Luckily there are a few inbetweens who just share their experiences without fixating on the tags that triggers everyone apparently "Respect to you for talking your things | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!"
Bffr please | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please"I am | |||
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"I'm honestly not sure that a lot of people on Fab care if they're being discriminatory or fetishising. It gets dismissed any time someone brings up this topic. "Preference innit". I imagine this thread will be deleted at some point by a moderator. Some of the replies are already quite apprehensive. I guess it's one of those conversations you're not expected to have out loud. LOL" I hope not, it's a necessary discussion, it's interesting to see peoples insights...don't let anyone let you think that your viewpoint isn't valid, it is valid because that's your viewpoint, based on your experiences. Some just won't 'get it' Ooh dare I say white privilege? Or is that too close to the bone What a shame we shouldn't have 'that discussion' because it makes others feel uncomfortable... As for me yes, I have been with men of different races and nationalities....because I liked those men for who they are not their skin colour. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am "Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... " Quite the generalisation. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this"Man said each to their own to justify calling people coloured. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this"As I've said, which you obviously have clearly missed. If someone I were chatting to said to me "I like to be called x,y or z" then I would call them that. | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... Quite the generalisation. " Listen. People always show themselves. ALWAYS. | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... Quite the generalisation. Listen. People always show themselves. ALWAYS. " In your humble opinion of course. T | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
Man said each to their own to justify calling people coloured. "BTW you'll find that some people (just because you don't) in my experience don't like the term "black" either! Seems when it comes to skintone people can't do right for doing wrong! | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this"I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way. It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it. I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
As I've said, which you obviously have clearly missed.
If someone I were chatting to said to me "I like to be called x,y or z" then I would call them that. "You used the term coloured to describe (I can deduce) Black people (maybe non white people) and when challenged you said it’s because YOU don’t like the term Black and YOU think it’s racist. The term coloured in this country has not been appropriate for a long time. But that you doubled down here just speaks volumes. | |||
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"Yes i have. But its because i fancy that person...nothing to do with black, white or any other skin colour. It doesn't even cross my mind." Well said | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
Man said each to their own to justify calling people coloured.
BTW you'll find that some people (just because you don't) in my experience don't like the term "black" either!
Seems when it comes to skintone people can't do right for doing wrong! "Oh come on. How can you not know that word is offensive? Is it beyond you to admit you’re wrong and maybe apologise. I sure as hell would | |||
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"I think the whole thread says it all.. Black people always have and always will bring it back to black and white and racism if they don’t get what they want... Quite the generalisation. Listen. People always show themselves. ALWAYS. In your humble opinion of course. T" Anyways | |||
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"I’ve never fucked a black woman, that was pretty easy to say. I’ve also never fucked a black man, just to make it clear, I’m not being sexist. …….. ……. " Thanks for clearing up. Would hated to have made any wrong assumptions | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way.
It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it.
I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice"You say things aren't binary ^ but your own OP is. "it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation." | |||
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"I’ve never fucked a black woman, that was pretty easy to say. I’ve also never fucked a black man, just to make it clear, I’m not being sexist. …….. ……. Thanks for clearing up. Would hated to have made any wrong assumptions "LMAOOOOOOOOO. This thread is gold. In a weird way, but f*cking hilarious! | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
Man said each to their own to justify calling people coloured.
BTW you'll find that some people (just because you don't) in my experience don't like the term "black" either!
Seems when it comes to skintone people can't do right for doing wrong!
Oh come on. How can you not know that word is offensive? Is it beyond you to admit you’re wrong and maybe apologise. I sure as hell would "In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a black gentleman that I've been attracted too......is that better??? | |||
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"Suppose if I really think about it, I can get why it’s annoying It’s like the 6ft thing. Social media is telling everyone 6ft is the standard, it’s not really the standard. People are just getting told it is. So if your 5’9 your kinda like “I’m still a valid person” and it’s kind of an annoying thing Now expand that to like 200 years of western, white majority media and cultures pushing white as the standard of beauty and it’s gotta be pretty annoying too. It might be a real preference, but it’s a preference that’s been pushed hard and been successful due to the power structure behind it At least I thing that’s what it is? I dunno. Try to see things from both sides " I don’t think it’s shocking that people haven’t slept with people outside their race, especially not white people in a white majority country. But I do think that the standards of beauty that have placed White/ European features as more desirable and have depicted Black people and others as unattractive and undesirable for our features AND our skin tone… have an impact on whether someone finds Black people attractive or not. Will people change? Absolutely fucking not. And fab has taught me that they won’t even hear you out. But also, the self love stuff helps. Black is beautiful to me. And I don’t care if people can’t realise that. That’s not my problem. Of that makes sense. Same with, If someone doesn’t like fat/ bigger bodies or my fat/bigger body, I don’t care anymore because there’s beauty in all body types. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way.
It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it.
I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice
You say things aren't binary ^ but your own OP is.
"it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation."
"Read the statement again, and I am not trying to be a smartass, read it slowly, then try and imagine if I'm positing that IT IS a binary choice. Or AM I COMPLAINING that is seems like a binary choice when it shouldn't be? | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way.
It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it.
I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice
You say things aren't binary ^ but your own OP is.
"it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation."
"That’s his experience though? That’s not the same I don’t think. It’s also the experience of others. I expressed further down the thread some similar feelings about desirability on this site as a Black man. I would imagine that though not every Black person will have the same experience these are valid and important experiences to consider. From a particular perspective. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way.
It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it.
I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice"I don’t think people of colour is a particularly problematic term given it has mostly come from those racialised as not white. But I do think that it has been largely misused as a synonym for specific races. Just like BAME. I am Black. I am a person of colour/ BAME but if you’re talking about say a group of Black people’s experiences with racism we should say Black people’s experiences of racism. Because it’s specific. It only makes sense to talk about BAME/ POC as a collective imo. Two people of different races that are both not white might be referred to as POC/ BAME as a collective. It’s useful for many things in this sense especially because saying things like ‘people racialised as not white’ is long. | |||
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"In all honesty, the reason I haven't is because I've never seen a coloured gentleman that I've been attracted too. . And what's wrong with what I've said?? Personally, I’m not with the term ‘coloured’ but
And personally I don't like using the term "black".
Each to their own and all that!
Bffr please
I am
Ngl, I think it’s crazy that you’d willingly call someone coloured in Britain like this is the 60s. I’m actually creasing at this
I totally avoided that. LOL, because I didn't want to drive the conversation back to racism, hated that it went that way.
It's the same patronizing language that made everyone start saying "people of colour" as a "better" version of "coloured people" when they are just forms of the same thing. Black people also adopted it.
I don't blame anyone anymore, it's the state of the sociopolitical discourse, everything must be viewed under the prism of oppressed vs oppressor. When in reality, people are very multifaceted and rarely can things be ever boxed into a binary choice
You say things aren't binary ^ but your own OP is.
"it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation."
That’s his experience though? That’s not the same I don’t think.
It’s also the experience of others. I expressed further down the thread some similar feelings about desirability on this site as a Black man. I would imagine that though not every Black person will have the same experience these are valid and important experiences to consider. From a particular perspective. "Yeah I get where you are coming from. But I think the OP was written in a very binary way, which is fine. But there is no acknowledgement that others experiences may vary and that there may be other factors that result in those experiences. And when people questioned that they were kind of shot down a bit. There are bias galore in this thread. I for example could say that in my experience messages from black men I do not know are either 1) have you ever been with a black man or 2) down the route of me being a snowbunny. But I wouldn't start a thread saying how black men either objectify themselves or me. Because I know that isn't reality for everyone even if it is my experience, and hence not a binary choice. If that makes sense? | |||
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"I am surprised by the number white women who have never been with a nonwhite man before. Even on this platform, it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation. Because of how uncomfortable the conversation generally is, people avoid even talking about it, I imagine nobody wants to feel like they're being discriminatory, but it's such a staggering experience from a lot of people I have talked to. I wonder what your experience has been? " Double edged sword….. It only stops becoming if: a) black guys stop playing it up because they see it as some sort of an advantage B) people can see that specific wording of preferences can turn off as many of the people they are trying to attract as it does Unless people see disadvantages… nothing will change If you think it’s an issue…. Look at your own profile and see if you think you are part of the problem, or part of the solution If you are part of the problems… change it If you are part of the solution…. Advocate | |||
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"Well that was shit show. Cannot believe that people still think its ok to say 'coloured'. Even my old Mum has been able to be educated out of using that phrase. " Mine can’t be  | |||
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"I am surprised by the number white women who have never been with a nonwhite man before. Even on this platform, it's almost always a case of choosing between someone who has a black man fetish(which can be very uncomfortable) or chatting with someone who's never been with a black man (even as friends) and quite unwilling to even consider having a conversation. Because of how uncomfortable the conversation generally is, people avoid even talking about it, I imagine nobody wants to feel like they're being discriminatory, but it's such a staggering experience from a lot of people I have talked to. I wonder what your experience has been? Double edged sword….. It only stops becoming if: a) black guys stop playing it up because they see it as some sort of an advantage B) people can see that specific wording of preferences can turn off as many of the people they are trying to attract as it does Unless people see disadvantages… nothing will change If you think it’s an issue…. Look at your own profile and see if you think you are part of the problem, or part of the solution If you are part of the problems… change it If you are part of the solution…. Advocate " | |||
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"Well that was shit show. Cannot believe that people still think its ok to say 'coloured'. Even my old Mum has been able to be educated out of using that phrase. Mine can’t be "I just told her it was unacceptable and that I wouldn't have her say things like that around me or my child. She used the term 'Mongoloid' in public and I flipped out too. | |||
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