... send cringe worthy first DMs?
There are plenty of examples from man.
Is there a female equivalent?
If so is there a common theme?
If not why is there such a difference between the genders? Any ideas?
Please no naming and shaming and keep it civil.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my experience, women don’t put much effort into messaging on here.
Whether they say ‘hi how are you’ or something detailed, it’s *unlikely* their message to a man will be deleted instantly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not naming and shaming but I recently had a horrific first message from a woman. I read to double check and read it twice because it so WTF?! 
So yeah, some women can be as bad as men  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
On all dating apps, sites, and on here I send the same opening message 90% of the time: "Hey, how's it going?"
I'm not going to spend ages composing a message to a guy if he's never going to reply back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On all dating apps, sites, and on here I send the same opening message 90% of the time: "Hey, how's it going?"
I'm not going to spend ages composing a message to a guy if he's never going to reply back."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Agree with that most women approach with a very short message or just a wink.
I would say probably down to the numbers female Vs male on here.
But does any one understand how a male could think that such first messages could be successful?
My theory is either quite new. Or a mix of desperation and then sending messages in a state of the horn taking over the brain? Any opinions? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I'm not naming and shaming but I recently had a horrific first message from a woman. I read to double check and read it twice because it so WTF?!
So yeah, some women can be as bad as men "
FFS Joe, I’ve apologised!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not naming and shaming but I recently had a horrific first message from a woman. I read to double check and read it twice because it so WTF?!
So yeah, some women can be as bad as men "
Sorry JB  * runs and hides under blanket |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have never had a first message from a woman - barring one, clear obvious scammer 
I imagine it's universal - I've chatted to plenty of women who are just as bad as holding a conversation with one word answers! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Nope. “Hey” is a common one. Nothing cringe, just extremely low effort "
Agreed, I get those kind of messages too; it's as if they are saying "I'm a female on Fab, I don't need to try", which of course is true but I much prefer it when they do put some effort in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
An offer to be pegged by a very large toy and that wasn’t the worst/best depending on your kinks.
Right out of the gate she went there.
I thought it was a guy but after putting my best sleuthing hat on checking multiple verifications and checking their verifications etc it certainly appeared to be a woman.
She would have been my type except for the above suggestions! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've had some... not cringe? But entitled. Telling me what I'm going to do and where I'm going to be and what I'm going to wear.
I suspect they were sad to learn that I would be doing something better than acquiescing to their demands, like scrubbing the toilet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
The messages i receive from women aren't short they are thoughtful or a reply to a thread, I've never received a cringe worthy message, i guess the difference is they don't have an erection to contend with |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most messages I get from women are short and sweet. Usually a polite inquiry as to how I am or more likely a reference to a forum post, photo or status update.
I take my cue from these and structure my (rare) opening messages the same way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do so wish fab had a better way of detecting men on womens accounts.
Hard to moderate.
Anyway, those messages of unwanted refute I just delete persistants get blocked. Move on. Best policy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Should messages be cringe worthy if its your kind of kink.
Each to their.
As to how to start a text on here.
Becs here, just been perusing your profile, fancy a chat? You might find it cringey or low effort but hey, I try my best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve had some one word responses from women - like they have to make no effort.
The more effort people put in suggests the more effort they’ll put in to meeting you or the more effort they’ll put in for sex.
A one word response when you first start chatting screams lazy.
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. “Hey” is a common one. Nothing cringe, just extremely low effort
Hey, you sexy gorgeous beast. Is that low effort"
That’s man effort. Instant block
It’s a lose-lose for women messaging
Either it’s too low effort and we aren’t interested
Or it’s too high effort and we think your a man
Not our fault, you gals made the market |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I’m going to send a message I make sure it is well constructed and thought about first… 
This.
I give the same effort I’d expect."
When you think of a good message to send, send it to me first and I’ll read over it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... send cringe worthy first DMs?
There are plenty of examples from man.
Is there a female equivalent?
If so is there a common theme?
If not why is there such a difference between the genders? Any ideas?
Please no naming and shaming and keep it civil.
"
Dearest Op
What makes a cringey message in the first place.
Mine would be
becs here, just perusing your profile fancy a chat? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. “Hey” is a common one. Nothing cringe, just extremely low effort
Hey, you sexy gorgeous beast. Is that low effort
That’s man effort. Instant block
It’s a lose-lose for women messaging
Either it’s too low effort and we aren’t interested
Or it’s too high effort and we think your a man
Not our fault, you gals made the market "
Bit hard to message so how you getting cringey messages.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We’ve had some one word responses from women - like they have to make no effort.
The more effort people put in suggests the more effort they’ll put in to meeting you or the more effort they’ll put in for sex.
A one word response when you first start chatting screams lazy.
K"
One word replies nearly always end up going nowhere.
If I have to carry the conversation chances are I'm going to have to carry everything else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. “Hey” is a common one. Nothing cringe, just extremely low effort "
Yes. I've had the exact thing happen to me a few times. Although I'm not against women or anyone starting conversation that way with me, it seems very double standard that it's acceptable for women to just say hey, but for a man, it's considered low effort and not worth responding to.
I actually think that's a good way of starting a conversation... especially as a person on the autistic spectrum, as knowing what to say to kick off the conversation can be a minefield to navigate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. “Hey” is a common one. Nothing cringe, just extremely low effort
Yes. I've had the exact thing happen to me a few times. Although I'm not against women or anyone starting conversation that way with me, it seems very double standard that it's acceptable for women to just say hey, but for a man, it's considered low effort and not worth responding to.
I actually think that's a good way of starting a conversation... especially as a person on the autistic spectrum, as knowing what to say to kick off the conversation can be a minefield to navigate."
I think low effort is low effort. I appreciate sending just “hey” is ultra high effort for most women for *reasons* but it’s not the vibe I think people should accept.
But I also recognise many guys aren’t in a position to say no to any opportunity |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No, not in my experience — they've conducted themselves impeccably in their messages to me.
The only exceptions are the monosyllabic messages with photographic attachments of their quim / quinny."
I’ve apologised a thousand times!!! Let it go |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"... send cringe worthy first DMs?
There are plenty of examples from man.
Is there a female equivalent?
If so is there a common theme?
If not why is there such a difference between the genders? Any ideas?
Please no naming and shaming and keep it civil.
Dearest Op
What makes a cringey message in the first place.
Mine would be
becs here, just perusing your profile fancy a chat? "
I think what is cringey is subjective and depends what how your profile reads...
For me it would be detailed sexual scenarios as a first message for example. Or pics of genitals.
For someone specifically asking for such pics that would totally different I guess.
Your message would be fine from my perspective. Not cringey at all.
Could be more detailed but you are way over the average words for messages I receive so all good.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If a woman messages me being 'forward'.....it's an 80% chance it's a man smothered in Lurpak.
He can't believe it's not better ^^^ 
J
Ffs J 
Butter!!!
Does it help them slide into your DMs? 
J"
lube. obviously |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No, not in my experience — they've conducted themselves impeccably in their messages to me.
The only exceptions are the monosyllabic messages with photographic attachments of their quim / quinny.
·
I’ve apologised a thousand times!!! Let it go "
•
I'm more focused on the ·quality· of your apologies than the ·quantity·. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a woman messages me being 'forward'.....it's an 80% chance it's a man smothered in Lurpak.
He can't believe it's not better ^^^
J
Ffs J
Butter!!!
Does it help them slide into your DMs?
J"
Yes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't send messages so every conversation in the last 4 years has been started by a woman.
Most opening messages are ok but there are some I struggle to respond to because of how cringy they are.
I've had all the usual one word messages so if they say hi I say hi back.
Others are just gushing about my pics or telling me how amazing I am despite never having spoken before.
The worst have been repeat efforts where they told me my profile was brilliant and asked where I had been hiding as they had never seen me before.
My response was always to say I had been hiding in plain site and that was the end of the conversation until they sent exactly the same message a few months later and then again a few months after that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cttMan
over a year ago
hatfield & Cannock |
"If I’m going to send a message I make sure it is well constructed and thought about first…
This.
I give the same effort I’d expect.
When you think of a good message to send, send it to me first and I’ll read over it "
Hows it going? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've had one or two "women" (of course... behind a keyboard, it could be anyone...!) send messages to our inbox that caused an eye roll or two.
Makes me wonder what they teach in educational establishments these days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
