FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Could you please explain?
Could you please explain?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?"
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl. "
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone. |
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"It was just my question that I've been pondering. What would anyone else like an explanation of?"
Ahhhhh! I think it could have been read wrong. I read it as what do those people who do this need explaining  . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl.
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone. "
Feel better now sweetie? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"Why do things have to change just based on your age? I reckon most people use the same language throughout their lives and if you have always said boys and girls then that is what it is."
I think this is what it is. I've used lads and boys when greeting my mates. I'm 28 but if I use it enough times, I'll use it into my 40s and 50s. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl.
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone.
Feel better now sweetie?"
Absolutely. I’d hate for you to be put off by something. We men must conform |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I’d never describe myself as a lad/boy but would say I’m out with the lads tonight. Never really thought anything of it. "
I've just had a string of messages from guys with lad or boy in their username. Going out with the lads or boys seems normal - but describing yourself as one at 55. Hmm. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl.
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone.
Feel better now sweetie?
Absolutely. I’d hate for you to be put off by something. We men must conform "
I'm so glad you've got my back.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It was just my question that I've been pondering. What would anyone else like an explanation of?
Ahhhhh! I think it could have been read wrong. I read it as what do those people who do this need explaining . "
Oh. Whoops! I didn't want to do a thread just about my daft question. Guess I wasn't clear.  |
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"Why do things have to change just based on your age? I reckon most people use the same language throughout their lives and if you have always said boys and girls then that is what it is.
·
I think this is what it is. I've used lads and boys when greeting my mates. I'm 28 but if I use it enough times, I'll use it into my 40s and 50s."
•
That won't happen for another 1ØØ years you whippersnapper! |
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By *ascaIMan 45 weeks ago
Cheshire Liverpool Manchester |
"It's when they start calling themselves Foetus123 is when you need to start worrying."
I do hope Foetus123 responds to this to defend himself  You can’t just out him like that. |
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"It was just my question that I've been pondering. What would anyone else like an explanation of?
Ahhhhh! I think it could have been read wrong. I read it as what do those people who do this need explaining .
Oh. Whoops! I didn't want to do a thread just about my daft question. Guess I wasn't clear. "
Oh it’ll be me. I’m crap at reading threads properly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"Why do things have to change just based on your age? I reckon most people use the same language throughout their lives and if you have always said boys and girls then that is what it is.
I think this is what it is. I've used lads and boys when greeting my mates. I'm 28 but if I use it enough times, I'll use it into my 40s and 50s."
Omg are you 28?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It's when they start calling themselves Foetus123 is when you need to start worrying.
I do hope Foetus123 responds to this to defend himself You can’t just out him like that. "
Yeah, Nero. And another thing.... |
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"It's when they start calling themselves Foetus123 is when you need to start worrying.
I do hope Foetus123 responds to this to defend himself You can’t just out him like that.
Yeah, Nero. And another thing...."
No, damn it. /I/ am Spartacus! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"Lot's of women on here get really shitty with some guy's if they refer to them as girls."
Do women call themselves girls? Other than "night out with the girls?" |
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To be fair it used to surprise me when someone called themeselves a lad in their 60s but each to their own. It is a bit like when a young person calls a much older one mate. It is a bit strange to me personally but I know is meant well and not disrespectfully so not that bothered anymore. However people in customer services like shop assistants when paying your bill saying thanks mate does sound unprofessional to me but I know they just been friendly so so be it. No harm done really |
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"It's when they start calling themselves Foetus123 is when you need to start worrying.
·
I do hope Foetus123 responds to this to defend himself You can’t just out him like that. "
•
Good grief! There ·is· a Foetus123! And to think there's another 122 of them preceding that. I need a gin! |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Some people find these terms infantalising, others use them to convey a young at heart spirit, others might use them in a more ageless way, others may be in to age play and want to convey that. |
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A customer calls me young fella even though he is 5 years younger than me. I've never spoken the word lad out loud because it's not a word or term I ever use.
More often than not if referring to others I'll say men or guys.
Even when I was a boy I don't remember saying I was going out with the boys.
Lad is a colloquialism here in parts though so I can see why some use it.
It is used when greeting someone as well."All right lad?" but again something I've never said.
Another term is "You're some boy!" which isn't age related either and more to do with pointing out that they have done something out of the ordinary. |
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It's a strange one it bugs me when people are looking for "girls" and I despise being called a "girl" during messages however I'm a bit of a hypocrite because I do say I'm chatting with the girls, girls night out etc it's just what comes to mind.
Mrs |
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I think girls and lads are used quite a bit throughout most people's adults lives. Things like describing someone as a 'girlie girl' or 'one of the girls' paints a picture of femininity or being part of a group.
I think at times it just rolls off the tounge better. I'd like to think I am a good friend and abide by a 'girls code' and would not shit on another woman intentionally. Doesn't sound right as a 'womans code'.
Think the same goes for the fellas. I don't think it's got much to do with age personally but maybe it's just me, Mrs x |
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I know exactly what you mean... Young lad looking for fun etc etc and they're over 35, hate to break it to you mate, you're not a young lad anymore.
I just need an explanation for why men? Just that.. why? |
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl.
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone. "
Bit if a jump there
Evie |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl.
Guys. It’s off putting. Stop doing what you want and listen. Listen carefully. Don’t want to displease anyone.
Bit if a jump there
Evie"
He always likes to interpret what women say that way.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"Some people find these terms infantalising, others use them to convey a young at heart spirit, others might use them in a more ageless way, others may be in to age play and want to convey that."
That's a good explanation. Men who choose to use those words about themselves aren't going to be for me, but I am a bit clearer about why now! |
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"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?
What do you need explaining? "
For me it’s just less formal and I’m usually being daft/playing on lazy stereotypes ie “Because I’m a boy and we can’t multitask” etc.
I’ve been called out many times for referring to someone as a girl instead of a woman. As if I really think they’re 12!! It’s just casual language. |
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Although I do think male profile names like ‘lad4fuknrtnow’ or ‘bigdickboi’ are juvenile at the best of times, let alone if they’re 48.
**these profiles are fictional and any resemblance to any profile living or dead is purely coincidental. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"A customer calls me young fella even though he is 5 years younger than me. I've never spoken the word lad out loud because it's not a word or term I ever use.
More often than not if referring to others I'll say men or guys.
Even when I was a boy I don't remember saying I was going out with the boys.
Lad is a colloquialism here in parts though so I can see why some use it.
It is used when greeting someone as well."All right lad?" but again something I've never said.
Another term is "You're some boy!" which isn't age related either and more to do with pointing out that they have done something out of the ordinary. "
I don't think I've even called my son a lad at any point. I guess it's just what people grow up with, but applying girl/lass to women and boy/lad to men seems infantilising. Don't think I will change my view but I wouldn't say anything to people. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Still need it explaining why older generations hate seeing younger generations happy and enjoying themselves.
-Hate seeing kids making TikToks or talking to/ playing with their friends online for example. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"Although I do think male profile names like ‘lad4fuknrtnow’ or ‘bigdickboi’ are juvenile at the best of times, let alone if they’re 48.
**these profiles are fictional and any resemblance to any profile living or dead is purely coincidental."
Pretty darn close to the profiles that have messaged me! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"To be fair. I still say “I’m going out with the girls”
Completely normal. I call my mates the boys.
Women don’t have to be so frigid all the time.
•
"
Strike Two....  |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I use girls /ladies all the time and see nothing wrong with it... It feels more youthful.. Would you enter a bar and say 'hi women??'...
It makes me feel really old when people say ladies /women... I do think it's maybe an age thing - is it that the younger you are, the less inclined you want to be viewed as young because it implies immaturity /inexperience /less in control +powerful??
Honestly I take zero offence to people using girls,ladies, women, females, males, boys, men.. But there are definitely people on fab who would rip you a new ass hole 
I would hesitate to refer to a man on here as a 'boy' for fear of offending then... Maybe I have double standards!?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"What about women saying they are going out with the girls in their 40s/50s? "
What about them? I commented on men here referring to themselves as lads and boys. Do women have usernames in the same vein? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I use girls /ladies all the time and see nothing wrong with it... It feels more youthful.. Would you enter a bar and say 'hi women??'...
It makes me feel really old when people say ladies /women... I do think it's maybe an age thing - is it that the younger you are, the less inclined you want to be viewed as young because it implies immaturity /inexperience /less in control +powerful??
Honestly I take zero offence to people using girls,ladies, women, females, males, boys, men.. But there are definitely people on fab who would rip you a new ass hole
I would hesitate to refer to a man on here as a 'boy' for fear of offending then... Maybe I have double standards!?! "
I haven't said I take offence at it. It just mystifies me and I find it somewhat infantilising. I don't call my friends girls. More likely "hello ladies". |
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"What about women saying they are going out with the girls in their 40s/50s?
What about them? I commented on men here referring to themselves as lads and boys. Do women have usernames in the same vein?"
Lots of women here in their 40s/50s refer to themselves as girls? Its a very 'mumsnet' type lets have a go at the men type thread. |
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"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?
What do you need explaining? "
Because they can, no need to engage with those who do if it displeases you |
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers"
You've not met one of IT people. She insists on male/female  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"What about women saying they are going out with the girls in their 40s/50s?
What about them? I commented on men here referring to themselves as lads and boys. Do women have usernames in the same vein?
Lots of women here in their 40s/50s refer to themselves as girls? Its a very 'mumsnet' type lets have a go at the men type thread."
Do they? I don't really see women's profiles. Can I remind you of my OP?
"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?"
You can interpret that as having a go, you do you.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?
What do you need explaining?
Because they can, no need to engage with those who do if it displeases you"
Jolly helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers"
‘Females’ is the ultimate red flag |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers"
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal. "
Alright pissface |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?
What do you need explaining?
What do you need explaining? "
What do YOU need explaining? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal.
Alright pissface"
Take me now! |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal.
Alright pissface
Take me now! "
you haven’t seen Friday night dinner have you |
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"I've a question about lads/boys. Why are lots of men referring to themselves like this in their 40s and 50s?
What do you need explaining?
Because they can, no need to engage with those who do if it displeases you
Jolly helpful. "
You're welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal.
Alright pissface
Take me now! you haven’t seen Friday night dinner have you"
I can't cope with that character with the dog! |
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl. "
Just makes me piss myself and I avoid them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 45 weeks ago
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"It’s a mindset not an age thing
Hanging out with the lads/boys
Does it displease you?
I can understand the hanging out bit. Absolutely. But calling yourself Boy73636 or YorkshireLad and sprinkling the word in a profile and message? It's off putting. As I'd expect it would be if I said I was a girl. Just makes me piss myself and I avoid them"
I'm just somewhat bemused. And yes, avoid them too. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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"I use girls /ladies all the time and see nothing wrong with it... It feels more youthful.. Would you enter a bar and say 'hi women??'...
It makes me feel really old when people say ladies /women... I do think it's maybe an age thing - is it that the younger you are, the less inclined you want to be viewed as young because it implies immaturity /inexperience /less in control +powerful??
Honestly I take zero offence to people using girls,ladies, women, females, males, boys, men.. But there are definitely people on fab who would rip you a new ass hole
I would hesitate to refer to a man on here as a 'boy' for fear of offending then... Maybe I have double standards!?! "
That's because calling someone boy is very headmistress... COME HERE, BOYYYYYY! |
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"Why do things have to change just based on your age? I reckon most people use the same language throughout their lives and if you have always said boys and girls then that is what it is."
I agree! |
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"I’d much rather they referred to themselves as lads or boys than to women as FEMALES.
Pusface from Friday Night Dinner was right, it makes them sound like serial killers
Pusface?
Can't say I am keen on that either - I always feel like an animal.
Alright pissface
Take me now! you haven’t seen Friday night dinner have you"
Shit on it |
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I guess if a man says "im off out with the men" it might sound a bit... odd? Much more used to hearing "Im off with the lads" Just sounds more natural to me.
Like I would say out with the girls, not out with the women. |
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