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I don’t give girls flowers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ll give you good wood though.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

But….sunflowers, man!

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

.

But what about splinters?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

Wood works.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Smoooooooth.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Bonus if you have heard the song x

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman over a year ago

Wherever

…I can buy myself flowers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Smoooooooth.

Mrs TMN x"

Smoother than your arsehole x

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

I can buy myself flowers...

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Smoooooooth.

Mrs TMN x

Smoother than your arsehole x"

You're not wrong. Was just away to trim.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

"But what about splinters? "

Just need to make sure you polish it

LvM

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

.

"But what about splinters?

Just need to make sure you polish it

LvM"

Good point. I'm sure a lot of spit will help prevent any in my throat.

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Seduction start's before the wood.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I don't remember the last time I was given flowers. It was probably by a student.

I prefer hugs

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By *2000ManMan over a year ago

Worthing

I don't send or give flowers. I have done but not really appreciated. I also heard both sis in laws reactions to flowers they received from my brothers. Same thing, not really appreciated.

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By *arlot o scaraWoman over a year ago

Hell

They don’t give us flowers any more, they give us anxiety

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I normally offer a box of Milk Tray. Maybe this is where I'm going wrong

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

.

"They don’t give us flowers any more, they give us anxiety

"

They've been doing that for many, many centuries - poor Anne Boleyn for one.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

I leave a little bit of jizz on the curtains.

I like to think that as winter turns to spring and said (fortunate) lady reaches for her curtains to let the turning season in, she spots that little bit of jizz on her curtain, her eyes fire and a whimsical smile forms, with a shake of her head and a mirthful sigh, she whispers “oh DD, you shouldn’t have”

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By *arlot o scaraWoman over a year ago

Hell

"They don’t give us flowers any more, they give us anxiety

They've been doing that for many, many centuries - poor Anne Boleyn for one.

"

Don’t. Everything I learned about her in history was apparently wrong

I’ve been watching a series about her on TikTok.

If I see Henry VIII in Hell, I’m gonna smash him one for our Anne.

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