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Why are people choosing a pet over parenthood?
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.
I also looked at a servey about it and in there it said that 67% of surveys respondent ages was 18 to 26 said that they chose getting a dog instead of having a child and 74% of people surveyed would choose a pet over parenthood say cost was a major factor and there was a 3rd option too and that was how nearly 50% would consider their dog when making a career.
Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bringing a child into this shit show, especially when it costs so much you can’t give then everything they need. Children just don’t seem like a good idea |
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Because the costs of bringing a child up far outweigh the perceived benefits of such.
Most children are born into a household that can't provide the emotional or financial support a human requires to thrive.
Dogs are cuter, less susceptible to the nihilism and resentment, won't grow up to be disappointments or with the weight of unrealistic parental expectations, and are much easier to work around a career without destroying my body.
I don't think of my dog as a surrogate child. She's just a cute mutt. And something I'd much rather have in my life than a child  |
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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago
Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston |
My children are grown up. I’ve always had some kind of pet. Now have 2 rescue dogs who are wonderful companions. They adore each other too. Funny thing is I got them thinking I’d have empty nest syndrome but my kids keep boomeranging back home plus partners.
OP - they asked 18-26 year olds , still plenty of time to change their mind and have children. I thought the initial age to have children was on average a lot later than it used to be.
Red |
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The way we have let this world go, how can you even ask why people wouldnt want to bring children into it.
Constant war, corruption, poverty, pollution, increasing costs, etc etc we have really let this place go.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone |
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone "
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because the costs of bringing a child up far outweigh the perceived benefits of such.
Most children are born into a household that can't provide the emotional or financial support a human requires to thrive.
"
What do you base this on, out of interest? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what. "
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him? |
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"I have 3 dogs and 2 kids.
The dogs are cheaper. Nobody tells you how many pairs of shoes kids go through in a year!!  "
This!! Youngest daughter is already on her second pair of school shoes since September! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him? "
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now |
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him? "
I’m sure people do but he said unless you’re willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone. Never crossed my mind. Maybe it does cross other peoples minds. I don’t know
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Bringing a child into this shit show, especially when it costs so much you can’t give then everything they need. Children just don’t seem like a good idea "
Yes. I also think it is about the cost too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now "
I didn't rush into having kids, and I wouldn't have had multiple kids if I'd known I'd end up doing all the parenting. I still think that having kids has added so much more to my life than I can calculate. |
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now "
Co parenting or the lads just disappeared? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now
Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?"
Not something I’ve dived into with them so probably a bit of both, can’t say for sure though. Although for the most part, no one we know mutually knows who the dad is so I can only assume they aren’t in the picture |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
We live in a time where it’s hard for one parent to stay at home to care for their children. Mums on maternity leave are rushed back to work when they have barely had time to pour their time and love into kids. Never mind if they need time to recover from any related health issues. Dads get two weeks (somewhat fair enough if you go off traditional gender roles) but how can they support their partner effectively. People have to earn money to send their babies to someone else to look after, for hundreds of pounds a month.
Then you have social media flooded with “live your best life”, and telling parents they’re not enough, it’s relentless. I know these things existed before but now for people who do not have time away from social media, it’s just constant.
I mean thats just one or two thoughts. It’s a much bigger systemic discussion really.
I do hate it though when people say “I don’t have a child but I do have a (insert pet animal)”. Pleaseeeeeeee do not compare this it’s nowhere near the same. |
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now
Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?
Not something I’ve dived into with them so probably a bit of both, can’t say for sure though. Although for the most part, no one we know mutually knows who the dad is so I can only assume they aren’t in the picture "
I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this |
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I think the percentages are much higher today because of the first time women actually have both education and choice.
Young women are more educated than ever about what kind of a life they can have, and they have the ability to make choices to have the kind of lifestyle they want.
Even twenty years ago it was very much taught that a woman's proper role in society was to have a family, that it was completely normal to sacrifice your career, and that men being shit was just something you should accept in your relationships.
These days young women have learned that they don't have to perform the role of caregiver, that they don't have to birth a child to be valid, that they don't have to sacrifice parts of their life that they don't want to, and that they don't have to accept men being shit in relationships. |
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now
Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?
Not something I’ve dived into with them so probably a bit of both, can’t say for sure though. Although for the most part, no one we know mutually knows who the dad is so I can only assume they aren’t in the picture
I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably something to be said about the fickleness of relationships these days
They come and go fast, people are disposable and even a hint of things getting tough, people leave
With that in mind, it’s gotta be hard to choose to have a kid unless you willing to accept you’ll be raising them alone
That never even crossed my mind. Although I knew I married a man who would never ever abandon his kids no matter what.
But we all think that when we get together with a man and consider having kids with him?
That’s what I was thinking
I don’t think any of the girls I knew in school got with their lad thinking anything less. All single mums now
Co parenting or the lads just disappeared?
Not something I’ve dived into with them so probably a bit of both, can’t say for sure though. Although for the most part, no one we know mutually knows who the dad is so I can only assume they aren’t in the picture
I guarantee the lad who can fart on demand, has something to with all of this"
To be fair, he’s got a beautiful wife, 2 happy kids, and a great barber shop.
Weirdly enough, all the great guys that I know that would make great dads, aren’t dads, for many of the reasons in this thread
All the biggest pieces of shit I know have kids they don’t see, some of them multiple kids to different mums
Weird |
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It's easier.
The biological drive to have children still exists but people are able to choose now.
I worry for my children and support their choice to not have any of their own as much as I'd love grandchildren.
I don't like the anthropormorphism of animals though.
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Cos cats are funny, friendly, awesome creatures and great company.
Children are expensive, noisy, germ filled snot bags that people seem to want to report you to the police for, when you leave them in the porch all day with a plate of meat and a door flap so they can go outside to crap on the neighbours garden  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel like having children wasn't really a choice years ago. I think it was just what a woman was expected to do. I think now, women are more aware of themselves and the responsibility that comes with having a child. Parenting is ugly a lot of the time. And I think people are pretty wise now knowing the toll it takes on you as a woman. And the way your life will never be the same. If you've not got a village, your life is turned upside down. And not to mention the cost of living because having a baby is ridiculously expensive.
I've had pets all my life and they are so much easier than children. And they really do become a part of your family I don't see an issue with someone loving their dog as much as I love my child. But they are so different I don’t think you can compare the two. |
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Who knows. I might have a human child or several, out there in the world. There are a few years in the past that are a giant blackout.
I no longer have pets. I made one cat into slippers this morning after he woke me up at stupid o’clock. The other will make a nice pair of gloves.
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I've known I didn't want kids from a young age.
I love most animals and like having my pets to come home to & snuggle with.
They're not surrogate children as I never wanted the whole kid thing, I just love having them around and they are so loving and amusing at times. |
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I costs me about £500 a month for the dog, vet bills, insurance, food, day care, pet sitter is extra.
I have to say seeing how my nephew is turning into a prize little shit, I would go for a dog over him anyday. |
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By *pandjMan
over a year ago
Sparkford |
Had 3 dogs between my ex and current partner. 2 are around 10 years old and once they are gone that's it. Felt like they limit your life more than anyone cares to admit compared to my son who I can enjoy more things with as he's an actual human who is also allowed more places.
Plus pet insurance is eye watering once theyve got to a certain age and had a few illnesses that the insurance companies try to get out of. With the first dog I had was a grim but practical decision to spend 7k treatment that may not have worked or had him PTS. That would've fucked me financially so the hard option it was and I will likely have to mull that over another two times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its simple really when you break it all down -
Kids (or people in general) are assholes,
Dogs aren’t."
My kids are 
Don't know what you're talking about mate.
My dog is an asshole to be fair |
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By *assy69Man
over a year ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.
I also looked at a servey about it and in there it said that 67% of surveys respondent ages was 18 to 26 said that they chose getting a dog instead of having a child and 74% of people surveyed would choose a pet over parenthood say cost was a major factor and there was a 3rd option too and that was how nearly 50% would consider their dog when making a career.
Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it? "
Have a family member that didn’t have a choice re: having children, so their pets are very much the surrogate family that couldn’t be had. They don’t understand why people would not choose pets  |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I have 3 dogs and 2 kids.
The dogs are cheaper. Nobody tells you how many pairs of shoes kids go through in a year!! "
That is good and yes, you are right there, dogs would be cheaper as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As everyone else has mentioned, it's most probably down to the cost of living and how much time is spent within that earning enough to pay for everything needed/necessary to live as happy a life as you can as a single or couple. I'd love to raise a little family of my own some day, but need to find a way to overcome the current and relative challenges that make doing that difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 2 brothers (10 and 14 years younger) and a sister (11 years younger). All 3 of them, I’ve changed their nappies, walked them to and from school, had the sleepless nights, helped with home work, etc. They alone were enough to put me off having my own kids. Instead I volunteer and then I get to go back home and have peace and quiet. |
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"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.
I also looked at a servey about it and in there it said that 67% of surveys respondent ages was 18 to 26 said that they chose getting a dog instead of having a child and 74% of people surveyed would choose a pet over parenthood say cost was a major factor and there was a 3rd option too and that was how nearly 50% would consider their dog when making a career.
Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it? "
I like kids.
Pets are just better though.
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"If I was in my early 20s now I wouldn't have kids. Who would want to bring kids into this world?. I have two cats and I adore them"
Hi diamondsmiles, yes, you are right there, age comes into play too, that is good that you adore them as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have 2 brothers (10 and 14 years younger) and a sister (11 years younger). All 3 of them, I’ve changed their nappies, walked them to and from school, had the sleepless nights, helped with home work, etc. They alone were enough to put me off having my own kids. Instead I volunteer and then I get to go back home and have peace and quiet. "
I had a similar experience but with neices and nephews. I saw the reality vs the happy families lie we're sold. I also never had any maternal urges or instincts, those babies were never exciting cute dolls to play with for me.
Pass me a kitten, dog or bunny however and my heart fills with joy at their fluffy cuteness.
Pets are cute, babies are gross, stinky, noisy poop machines and I've never wanted any. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I love kids, I have 3 would have liked many more, it may still happen. Never been keen on animals in houses although cats are quite interesting.
One reason with young people is the therapy it provides is very very beneficial and a lot of young people in the uk do have mental health issues - so are probably unsuitable for the responsibilities, hard work and sacrifices if parenting.
In other cultures they are still hanging out lots of kids, even in the uk I think the natives are the only ones stopping
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It is more common now days for people splitting up so when the is doubts an the baby conversation comes up next best thing is a dog and years ago woman weren't expected to go to work like they do now they were stay at home look after the kids but not case no more
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What put me off having children was when my father asked me if my wife and I were going to have any, and when I replied I don’t know he said you will need somebody to look after you when you are older. I never wanted anybody to feel they should be put in that position. If that was my only purpose, then gee thanks Dad!
As an only child, and now single after my wife passed away, you can probably guess pressure that puts me under now with two parents still around.
Plus I wouldn’t have wanted to have teenagers as bad as me! |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I was reading and interesting article about it and it mentioned of how a growing number of people tend to regard their pets as their surrogate children.
I also looked at a servey about it and in there it said that 67% of surveys respondent ages was 18 to 26 said that they chose getting a dog instead of having a child and 74% of people surveyed would choose a pet over parenthood say cost was a major factor and there was a 3rd option too and that was how nearly 50% would consider their dog when making a career.
Why do you think that the percentages are so high today and also, why do you think that they regard their pets as children, do you have a pet and how do you consider it?
Have a family member that didn’t have a choice re: having children, so their pets are very much the surrogate family that couldn’t be had. They don’t understand why people would not choose pets "
Yes. I see, so they didnt have a choice about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why are people banging on about bringing kids into 'this mess'?
It's literally the easiest time to be alive in all of history. Some folks are determined to see the worst I suppose.
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It's easier.
The biological drive to have children still exists but people are able to choose now.
I worry for my children and support their choice to not have any of their own as much as I'd love grandchildren.
I don't like the anthropormorphism of animals though.
"
Yes, you are right there too, it is easier as well and yes. I can see your worry there for them. I havent heard the word anthropormorphism before, so I looked it up and I agree with that definition of it |
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Simple answer: Time, money and security.
Firstly meeting a partner is less likely now because, People are skint so dont go out as much. they work long hours, you're not supposed to flirt in the workplace any more (literally saw this in one companies policy document)so your chances of meeting a partner are lower than they once were.
Jobs are no longer as secure as they used to be so there is less sense of long term security.
Pay is low compared to the cost of living, a lot of people can't afford savings now. (Also just take a moment to appreciate the horror of the phrase "cost of living". It's literally becoming too expensive to just stay alive, wtf?!)
More people in the childbaring age group (20-35 ish) rent and have insecure tenancies.
Working 9 to 5 and taking kids to school is literally impossible unless you pay for breakfast club and after school club or childcare.
Which could cost around 150 quid per child per week (good luck if you have twins! Which is incidentally becoming more likely due to women having kids at an older age on average and dropping double yolkers)
So to sum it up, low income, precarious employment, long hours, insecure short term housing and a high cost of childcare means the maths just doesn't work out.
A pet is less of a burden. They need less of your time and money and its a relatively short term commitment at around 12 years; and ultimately you can give it away if its too much without the social stigma and psychological trauma of doing the same with your child.
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Lol
