Not yet but in top of my to do list. I have just sorted both my parents for health & welfare and finance & property. They’ve also paid for their funerals etc..
I work in social services finances & will protect every penny they have.
You do not need to use a solicitor either.
J x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"So when you loose your marbles you’re going to sort your own affairs out?
You know that’s not what’s being said. FFS.
I know it was a joke FFS"
Apologies, I’m narky today. I’ll get over myself  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"I've got one for my dad, still very much compos - but he is 86  "
It’s interesting because the majority of my friends I’ve spoken to about think of it as something for when they’re much older and no one really thinks about the what if you had an accident right now that impacted you angle. Not saying you’re not btw. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not set up officially yet but it's in the pipeline to be done soon. Along with sorting out our mum's will and the guardianship of the kids if ever needed. Their dad has had a battle with his dad, along with losing mine it made us all realise even at our age, we'd rather not leave anything to chance.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My dad point blank refuses to allow me P o A. We're possibly in for an interesting future "
If it comes to it, you can apply for Deputyship but it takes time and it's expensive and you have a much greater level of record keeping to maintain. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?! "
You can split the financial side from healthcare/wellbeing aspects. It is an interesting question who to use if you have no family and don’t feel you have a friend or friends that could take it on. I don’t know, can one organise for a professional to do these things and at least be able to talk through your likely preferred approaches with them rather than just leave it to being a ward of the state as it were…? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?! "
Anyone you trust to look after your best interests. It can cover medical decisions, where you live etc… Look into it if nothing else & make a list of your wishes
J x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?!
You can split the financial side from healthcare/wellbeing aspects. It is an interesting question who to use if you have no family and don’t feel you have a friend or friends that could take it on. I don’t know, can one organise for a professional to do these things and at least be able to talk through your likely preferred approaches with them rather than just leave it to being a ward of the state as it were…?"
I looked, you can choose a solicitor. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My dad point blank refuses to allow me P o A. We're possibly in for an interesting future
Is it the giving up of control per se, or to you specifically? Difficult. "
It's the perceived giving up of once mostly. It's not me specifically.
There are many factors which discretion, server space and the distinct possibility that several readers would die of boredom prevent me from going in to.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My dad point blank refuses to allow me P o A. We're possibly in for an interesting future
If it comes to it, you can apply for Deputyship but it takes time and it's expensive and you have a much greater level of record keeping to maintain. "
Hope it doesn't come to it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?!
You can split the financial side from healthcare/wellbeing aspects. It is an interesting question who to use if you have no family and don’t feel you have a friend or friends that could take it on. I don’t know, can one organise for a professional to do these things and at least be able to talk through your likely preferred approaches with them rather than just leave it to being a ward of the state as it were…?
I looked, you can choose a solicitor. "
Although worth noting - given that professional attorneys charge for their time, it's important to consider the costs carefully before you choose an attorney. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"My dad point blank refuses to allow me P o A. We're possibly in for an interesting future
Is it the giving up of control per se, or to you specifically? Difficult.
It's the perceived giving up of once mostly. It's not me specifically.
There are many factors which discretion, server space and the distinct possibility that several readers would die of boredom prevent me from going in to. "
Fair enough! Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?!
You can split the financial side from healthcare/wellbeing aspects. It is an interesting question who to use if you have no family and don’t feel you have a friend or friends that could take it on. I don’t know, can one organise for a professional to do these things and at least be able to talk through your likely preferred approaches with them rather than just leave it to being a ward of the state as it were…?
I looked, you can choose a solicitor.
Although worth noting - given that professional attorneys charge for their time, it's important to consider the costs carefully before you choose an attorney."
This  Solicitors charge a bloody fortune!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hmmm.... I don't have kids.. Who will I even give POA to!?! "
Maybe a sibling or trusted friend. Mine isn't my kids because they are still young but I also wouldn't ask that of them. I'm lucky enough to have a brother that I trust to make those decisions should he ever need to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Power of Attorny in place.
Will up to date - If anymore grandkids come along tough shit I am not changing it again.
Funeral, well not really a funeral as am having Unattended Cremation which is already paid for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Power of Attorny in place.
Will up to date - If anymore grandkids come along tough shit I am not changing it again.
Funeral, well not really a funeral as am having Unattended Cremation which is already paid for."
Re: Grandkids, assuming you want to leave equal things to them, you just word the Will "I leave X to each of my natural or adopted Grandchildren" and then it doesn't matter how many there are. My Grandad left a sum of X to each of his Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. There were 9 in total by the time he passed away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You can’t do it for yourself it doesn’t work like that "
Yes you can. It’s much easier to do it for yourself while you’re of sound mind. It’s much harder once you lose your capacity and someone else has to do it for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve got no next of kin to bequeath anything to, so I haven’t done a will. Frankly, if I lose capacity I won’t know or care and it doesn’t really matter!"
I'm my Dad's Attorney. I feel like it's completely impossible to live my life, be a Mum and be the Attorney too. I'm erring towards pre paying for a one way ticket to Switzerland for when I can just about still manage the trip. I don't want my kids to have to do as much as I'm having to do right now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve got no next of kin to bequeath anything to, so I haven’t done a will. Frankly, if I lose capacity I won’t know or care and it doesn’t really matter!"
You can lose you capacity to manage your finances and still have control over your health, welfare and affairs.
You have to go back to principle 1 for all other decisions.
So in short, you could know 
If I find you wandering the streets, you can come and live with me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve got no next of kin to bequeath anything to, so I haven’t done a will. Frankly, if I lose capacity I won’t know or care and it doesn’t really matter!
You can lose you capacity to manage your finances and still have control over your health, welfare and affairs.
You have to go back to principle 1 for all other decisions.
So in short, you could know
If I find you wandering the streets, you can come and live with me "
Such a complicated issue. At work I deal with so many cases where we have got Deputyship orders for finances due to no family, family not willing or family stealing the money 
J x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve got no next of kin to bequeath anything to, so I haven’t done a will. Frankly, if I lose capacity I won’t know or care and it doesn’t really matter!
You can lose you capacity to manage your finances and still have control over your health, welfare and affairs.
You have to go back to principle 1 for all other decisions.
So in short, you could know
If I find you wandering the streets, you can come and live with me "
Cheers chick! Things have gotten pretty bad if I’ve wandered as far as Birkenhead in my pyjamas! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve got no next of kin to bequeath anything to, so I haven’t done a will. Frankly, if I lose capacity I won’t know or care and it doesn’t really matter!
You can lose you capacity to manage your finances and still have control over your health, welfare and affairs.
You have to go back to principle 1 for all other decisions.
So in short, you could know
If I find you wandering the streets, you can come and live with me
Cheers chick! Things have gotten pretty bad if I’ve wandered as far as Birkenhead in my pyjamas! "
I probably wouldn’t even notice you to be honest, it’s an everyday occurrence in Birkenhead.
If you do manage to wander up here, just remember not to look the locals in the eye |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s not something I‘be given any thought too.
I’m not even sure what it covers.
"
Basically if you lose the mental capacity to make decisions for yourself, you can appoint up to 2 people (plus a reserve) to make those decisions for you. Can be for finances & property or health & welfare. Worth looking into, you don’t need a solicitors
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *assy69Man
over a year ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"Have you got a Power of Attorney set up for yourself?
"
yes, it's a nightmare trying to get it organised if i lose capacity without one. It is all online and easy to do, just make sure you talk to your prospective attorneys etc before preparing all the forms |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s not something I‘be given any thought too.
I’m not even sure what it covers.
Basically if you lose the mental capacity to make decisions for yourself, you can appoint up to 2 people (plus a reserve) to make those decisions for you. Can be for finances & property or health & welfare. Worth looking into, you don’t need a solicitors
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney"
Whilst it sounds an eminently sensible thing to have in place, the practicality of getting someone to take on what is a massive responsibility could prove problematic.
It’s like the old wedding speech joke, ‘here are some messages, from those who were invited but couldn’t come, and those who could come but weren’t invited’.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you got a Power of Attorney set up for yourself?
"
Not yet but i am going to do it.
I do have a will which is very specific about everything such as the house, possesions, money etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s not something I‘be given any thought too.
I’m not even sure what it covers.
Basically if you lose the mental capacity to make decisions for yourself, you can appoint up to 2 people (plus a reserve) to make those decisions for you. Can be for finances & property or health & welfare. Worth looking into, you don’t need a solicitors
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
Whilst it sounds an eminently sensible thing to have in place, the practicality of getting someone to take on what is a massive responsibility could prove problematic.
It’s like the old wedding speech joke, ‘here are some messages, from those who were invited but couldn’t come, and those who could come but weren’t invited’.
"
As someone currently acting as an Attorney, it IS a massive responsibility and the bodies you have to deal with, such as doctors, expect you to be available at the drop of a hat, failing to understand that you cannot attend appointments 40-odd miles away with next to no notice and no prior discussion of the date/time. Having the responsibility alongside being a parent of small children and working FT is frankly impossible and to be brutally honest, I regret being appointed. However, because my Dad doesn't have anyone else to do it, I do it. It's killing me, though. Physically and mentally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
If you have gotten a will … look out for getting them done in either march or November
In march some organisations take part in a free will month, where instead of paying what they will ask if for a really modest amount to be given to a charitable organisation (like Marie curie or McMillan)
In November solicitors take part in a will month where instead of a set amount, they ask you to give what you can afford (normally around 50-100 pounds) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time."
GP just went to Dad's house, refused to dial me in on the phone in lieu of being physically present and has just accepted at face value a load of total and utter BS from him about his diet and lifestyle etc. And she deems him to have capacity!!!! Three consultants on Monday did NOT. It's enraging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time.
GP just went to Dad's house, refused to dial me in on the phone in lieu of being physically present and has just accepted at face value a load of total and utter BS from him about his diet and lifestyle etc. And she deems him to have capacity!!!! Three consultants on Monday did NOT. It's enraging."
Oh no that's so frustrating.
I hope everyone listens to the consultants and not the GP ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time.
GP just went to Dad's house, refused to dial me in on the phone in lieu of being physically present and has just accepted at face value a load of total and utter BS from him about his diet and lifestyle etc. And she deems him to have capacity!!!! Three consultants on Monday did NOT. It's enraging."
Can you change his GP? I feel angry for you xx
J x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time.
GP just went to Dad's house, refused to dial me in on the phone in lieu of being physically present and has just accepted at face value a load of total and utter BS from him about his diet and lifestyle etc. And she deems him to have capacity!!!! Three consultants on Monday did NOT. It's enraging."
Letter of complaint to GP surgery immediately. Unfortunately capacity comes and goes, so GP could argue that during meeting dad was clear and lucid.
Also you can have up to 4 attorneys and 4 reserve attorneys. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I found it difficult having POA. I had the same issues about appointments/meetings being arranged with no thought to me working etc. Some had to go ahead without me, i always asked for notes to be taken so i could catch up but this rarely happened. Decisions were often made without my knowledge or agreement even though they should always have my agreement.
It was such a stressful time.
GP just went to Dad's house, refused to dial me in on the phone in lieu of being physically present and has just accepted at face value a load of total and utter BS from him about his diet and lifestyle etc. And she deems him to have capacity!!!! Three consultants on Monday did NOT. It's enraging.
Letter of complaint to GP surgery immediately. Unfortunately capacity comes and goes, so GP could argue that during meeting dad was clear and lucid.
Also you can have up to 4 attorneys and 4 reserve attorneys. "
Unless his lucidty almost immediately disappeared, I doubt it. They just don't want the extra work that they actually need to do. They have the attitude that it's a social care problem (they pass the buck back to the family, who consist of me and my brother, that's it).
We can't have 4 Attorneys or reserves because he doesn't have 4 adult people on the Earth either who he's related to or sufficiently close to, who would take it on. He has me (disabled), my brother and our children. That's it.
Both my bro and I are in our 30s, we work FT and we have primary school aged children for whom we are responsible.
Social services and his GP don't care about any of that at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
