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Being Disabled in 2024
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"Im up an alley "Fify | |||
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"Im up an alley
Fify "I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight  | |||
"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight "You’re right of course. Apologies | |||
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"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight "Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!  | |||
"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!! "Maybe they mean the handrails on ramps. That some people argue make buildings look ugly and should be done away with. I say do away with ugly people (with ugly souls, not aesthetically unfortunate) first | |||
"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!! "I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you | |||
"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!
I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you "I'm carrying out a sit in protest | |||
"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!
I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you
I'm carrying out a sit in protest " | |||
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"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!
I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you "Jesus | |||
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"Even something as simple as kerbs can be deadly when you're a wheelchair user. And people just walking into you, not looking where they're going. I only had to use wheelchair for a short time, after I broke my knee, but it opened my eyes even more to the difficulties disabled people face (they were already quite open due to my job). " Yep! Pavements and kerbs are a menace, an absolute menace. Pavement parking is a menace. Wheelie bins and industrial bins left on dropped kerbs or just blocking the pavement - menace. Potholes between pavement and roadway - menace. Coconut mats used in many businesses as foot wipers - absolute fucking menace! Phone zombies - menace. Lots of other things are too. | |||
"I get ya. Watching my Grandma wheely chair as she liked to be called suffer with a smile on her face back during my infrequent trips to the Uk still resonate with me. Having to use the service lift in big shops and not able to visit the upstairs at all in some buildings. Things have come a long way but more needed. My disability does not show so having to explain it everywhere I go even when I have booked the addtional assistance sucks. I really love the whole you don’t look disabled comments. "Non-visible disabilities are definitely misunderstood and inadequately supported. Mr KC falls into this category too, we sometimes experience the shittiness of both our visible and our less visible disabilities not being catered for. | |||
"It's a bit better than being disabled in 1974, but there's still a LONG way to go! I can't use all forms of public transport in the same way an able bodied person can. When I find an accessible railway station, I can't just turn up and get on a train, like an able bodied person. Even if I pre book assistance 48hrs in advance, they won't guarantee I get on a specific train. Assistance is often not there or delayed. Disabled people are woefully under employed compared to able bodied people. Of working age people, the disability employment rate was 53.6% in Q2 2023, compared to 82.5% for non-disabled people. There are many reasons for the under employment of disabled people, but the biggest factors are a lack of understanding from employers and either outright or subliminal discrimination. There is also a massive waiting time for the Government Access to Work scheme, which funds certain things that disabled people might require, to enable them to work. The initial wait for an assessment is now more than 6 months. It used to be 6 weeks. Loads of places are totally inaccessible. I can't just decide to go for a day or night out or a holiday without military level pre planning and even then, broken lifts, inaccurate reports from businesses and various other things will mean plans are ruined. This is a great way to disappoint your children, when Mum can't get into the place she should be able to get into. What's the solution? Mum stays outside/in the café and Dad takes her. I am therefore excluded. Getting a Blue Badge is akin to intergovernmental negotiations on nuclear weapons or something. It's really NOT easy to get a Blue Badge. And then when you have one, you have people using the limited number of parking bays because "they're just nipping in for a sandwich" or "they're collecting something big from Argos". Fuck off! Most kids birthday party venues are not accessible to either disabled parents or children. I could go on. I will if people are interested. But most people actually aren't interested "My dear late wife suffered with extremely limited mobility for the last 10 years before she passed away 18 months ago. We had an even bigger problem because her wheelchair was a bariatric one, and so a fair bit larger than most. Even a trip to the hospital, or dentist became a logistical headache. And don't get me started on the sodding blue badge! She stopped going anywhere, partly because of her health, and partly because it was such a nightmare. I would take our daughter to everything on my own, unless it was school-related, in which case it was a known quantity and we could get the school to prepare places and access for us. She missed out on so many things, and it upsets me no end. I feel guilty that I should have been able to do more for her, but I know how impossible it was. I totally empathise with you. I'm so sorry things aren't better and more sympathetically organised in society. And it seems to me that they are getting worse again as the money isn't there to do things like fix pavements or have staff available to assist. All my love.  | |||
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"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!
I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you
I'm carrying out a sit in protest "Probably for the best xx | |||
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"I get ya. Watching my Grandma wheely chair as she liked to be called suffer with a smile on her face back during my infrequent trips to the Uk still resonate with me. Having to use the service lift in big shops and not able to visit the upstairs at all in some buildings. Things have come a long way but more needed. My disability does not show so having to explain it everywhere I go even when I have booked the addtional assistance sucks. I really love the whole you don’t look disabled comments.
Non-visible disabilities are definitely misunderstood and inadequately supported. Mr KC falls into this category too, we sometimes experience the shittiness of both our visible and our less visible disabilities not being catered for. "I had a former friend, when I was diagnosed with autism, tell me I'd get over it and grow out of it. I tried to be gracious in the moment - I was stunned - but comments like that fucking burn. I don't need to be neurotypical to be acceptable as a fully mature adult, and my type of brain isn't something to "get over". See also: don't look autistic, not a numbers geek, etc. People with autism are just as individual as people who don't have autism. Jesus fucking wept. | |||
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"By the way, my lived experience is as a wheelchair user but the spectrum of disability is massive. I can't speak about the experience of blind /partially sighted people or hearing impaired people or people with ASD etc. as I don't have PERSONAL experience (I do as a wife/friend/daughter). Please, other people contribute your experience of living with disability, if you wish. " In  | |||
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"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either!" I've been my Dad's "ears" from about age 13, due to his one sided deafness. He struggles now for different reasons, but he really found it hard to hear people through those kiosks at transport hubs and banks, he couldn't hear staff in bars and restaurants, he struggled on the phone if people didn't speak into the receiver properly etc. Hearing loss is such a broad spectrum too, isn't it? So individual to each person and the adaptations /accommodations equally individual. At least if a venue is flat access and has wide enough doors, all wheelchairs can get in. That's less individualised. | |||
"My son is disabled. Getting his, rightful, benefits is akin to being interrogated by the KGB. There is more help these days, and understanding, but I certainly worry about him, and his welfare, when I'm gone "I can fully understand why you would worry about your lad, Fife. The benefits system is just a fucking joke. | |||
"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either! I've been my Dad's "ears" from about age 13, due to his one sided deafness. He struggles now for different reasons, but he really found it hard to hear people through those kiosks at transport hubs and banks, he couldn't hear staff in bars and restaurants, he struggled on the phone if people didn't speak into the receiver properly etc. Hearing loss is such a broad spectrum too, isn't it? So individual to each person and the adaptations /accommodations equally individual. At least if a venue is flat access and has wide enough doors, all wheelchairs can get in. That's less individualised. " I could help myself by putting new batteries in my hearing aids. But then I hear too much | |||
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"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either! I've been my Dad's "ears" from about age 13, due to his one sided deafness. He struggles now for different reasons, but he really found it hard to hear people through those kiosks at transport hubs and banks, he couldn't hear staff in bars and restaurants, he struggled on the phone if people didn't speak into the receiver properly etc. Hearing loss is such a broad spectrum too, isn't it? So individual to each person and the adaptations /accommodations equally individual. At least if a venue is flat access and has wide enough doors, all wheelchairs can get in. That's less individualised. I could help myself by putting new batteries in my hearing aids. But then I hear too much "My Dad never wears his now, despite encouragement. He stopped wearing his BAHA regularly some years ago, which really didn't help | |||
"It's a bit better than being disabled in 1974, but there's still a LONG way to go! I can't use all forms of public transport in the same way an able bodied person can. When I find an accessible railway station, I can't just turn up and get on a train, like an able bodied person. Even if I pre book assistance 48hrs in advance, they won't guarantee I get on a specific train. Assistance is often not there or delayed. Disabled people are woefully under employed compared to able bodied people. Of working age people, the disability employment rate was 53.6% in Q2 2023, compared to 82.5% for non-disabled people. There are many reasons for the under employment of disabled people, but the biggest factors are a lack of understanding from employers and either outright or subliminal discrimination. There is also a massive waiting time for the Government Access to Work scheme, which funds certain things that disabled people might require, to enable them to work. The initial wait for an assessment is now more than 6 months. It used to be 6 weeks. Loads of places are totally inaccessible. I can't just decide to go for a day or night out or a holiday without military level pre planning and even then, broken lifts, inaccurate reports from businesses and various other things will mean plans are ruined. This is a great way to disappoint your children, when Mum can't get into the place she should be able to get into. What's the solution? Mum stays outside/in the café and Dad takes her. I am therefore excluded. Getting a Blue Badge is akin to intergovernmental negotiations on nuclear weapons or something. It's really NOT easy to get a Blue Badge. And then when you have one, you have people using the limited number of parking bays because "they're just nipping in for a sandwich" or "they're collecting something big from Argos". Fuck off! Most kids birthday party venues are not accessible to either disabled parents or children. I could go on. I will if people are interested. But most people actually aren't interested "Agree 100%! I’ve had ‘yeah we are accessible, we only have four steps and we can carry you’. No thank you. | |||
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" Agree 100%! I’ve had ‘yeah we are accessible, we only have four steps and we can carry you’. No thank you. " Oh, if we had a pound for everyone who said that, we'd be rich! If it wasn't so ridiculous, it'd be funny, right? "And how did your front-of-house supervisor rupture his shoulder and have a spinal disc prolapse?" "Errrr, he tried to carry *that* wheelchair user up four steps at our restaurant" Employment tribunal/HSE person - | |||
"Accessible toilets: Oh. My. Goodness. How many of them are NOT accessible for many disabled people?! Too small. Heavy doors. No grab rails. No/cut emergency cords. Hand driers too high up to reach. Disgusting and dirty. Hospitals are some of the worst too! URGH "Years ago when I was on crutches, the disabled toilets were invariably flooded where I went. OK, so my choices are falling or wetting myself. cool. (temporary impairment not quite the same, but, solidarity) | |||
" "And how did your front-of-house supervisor rupture his shoulder and have a spinal disc prolapse?" "Errrr, he tried to carry *that* wheelchair user up four steps at our restaurant" Employment tribunal/HSE person - "Oh and we have a lift. Oh no, our lift can’t manage your electric wheelchair it’s far too heavy. | |||
" "And how did your front-of-house supervisor rupture his shoulder and have a spinal disc prolapse?" "Errrr, he tried to carry *that* wheelchair user up four steps at our restaurant" Employment tribunal/HSE person -
Oh and we have a lift. Oh no, our lift can’t manage your electric wheelchair it’s far too heavy. "Same thing for many folding/portable ramps, isn't it? This is why temporary solutions are unacceptable, in lieu of properly building accessible entrances. | |||
"Accessible toilets: Oh. My. Goodness. How many of them are NOT accessible for many disabled people?! Too small. Heavy doors. No grab rails. No/cut emergency cords. Hand driers too high up to reach. Disgusting and dirty. Hospitals are some of the worst too! URGH "On a more positive note, regarding accessible toilets, more and more places have Changing Places, a wet room with a changing bench big enough to fit an adult, a hoist with the tracking that goes around most of the room, and even a sink that can go up and down. I remember my jaw dropping when I walked into a disabled toilet at Wetherspoons in Bedford and seeing all that amazing equipment. That was a few years ago, since then I discovered those in a few more places. One of those being Compton near Matlock Bath, that almost looks like a mini Airbnb | |||
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"My experience is more with the parents of disabled children. Not being invited to parties, unable to access enrichment, respite and wraparound because of lack of accessibility and funding. J" | |||
"My experience is more with the parents of disabled children. Not being invited to parties, unable to access enrichment, respite and wraparound because of lack of accessibility and funding. J" Absolutely, this is a huge, HUGE issue. A lady on my team has two children, for whom she cannot find suitable out of school care. It's a dreadful situation and no Governmental body or individual seems to care or be doing anything about it. And for disabled children being excluded, not only at birthday parties but school trips and all sorts too. It's so wrong!! | |||
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"I'm definitely interested for obvious reasons if you check my profile out "Contributions on the thread from fellow disabled people are very welcome! Please feel free to chip in with anything you wish. | |||
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"Why aren’t more clubs accessible either? I’ve been to a couple where it would be easy to install a stair lift or have a ground floor play room. " I agree. As far as I'm aware, there is only one fully accessible club in UK. But you know, disabled people having sex or attending swingers clubs??? That's gross!!! | |||
"Why aren’t more clubs accessible either? I’ve been to a couple where it would be easy to install a stair lift or have a ground floor play room. I agree. As far as I'm aware, there is only one fully accessible club in UK. But you know, disabled people having sex or attending swingers clubs??? That's gross!!! "Do disabled people have sex?! *Shocked face* How? Why? | |||
"Why aren’t more clubs accessible either? I’ve been to a couple where it would be easy to install a stair lift or have a ground floor play room. I agree. As far as I'm aware, there is only one fully accessible club in UK. But you know, disabled people having sex or attending swingers clubs??? That's gross!!!
Do disabled people have sex?! *Shocked face*
How?
Why?
"Disabled people are like teachers. They don't have lives. They go back into the cupboard after we're done with them. (Apparently some children are shocked to see teachers at the supermarket etc, like they only come out of the school cupboard to teach them) | |||
"I'm definitely interested for obvious reasons if you check my profile out
Contributions on the thread from fellow disabled people are very welcome! Please feel free to chip in with anything you wish. "Access big problem places advertising disabled access but you turn up and sometimes no it's not! Or I booked for a meal at a restaurant that claimed to have disabled access, only to turn up and no there wasn't challenging one of the staff just for him to point to the curb, and say that is the access yeah that would be fine for some that are able to bump up a curb in their wheelchair, but not a chance In a wheelchair like mine! Places should by law be accessible. And if you need to buy anything with a disability use you have to pay a fortune. I have care staff, but I can speak talk ect and I know my body and care better than anyone, but I will go to places where I need help, support or something medical and even in a hospital (unless a Spinal unit) they won't look or talk to me they will start by asking my staff, luckily my staff just say "ask him " meaning me and most of the time I don't even get an apology! | |||
"Accessible toilets: Oh. My. Goodness. How many of them are NOT accessible for many disabled people?! Too small. Heavy doors. No grab rails. No/cut emergency cords. Hand driers too high up to reach. Disgusting and dirty. Hospitals are some of the worst too! URGH "And they get used as storage/dumping grounds. | |||
"I'm definitely interested for obvious reasons if you check my profile out
Contributions on the thread from fellow disabled people are very welcome! Please feel free to chip in with anything you wish.
Access big problem places advertising disabled access but you turn up and sometimes no it's not! Or I booked for a meal at a restaurant that claimed to have disabled access, only to turn up and no there wasn't challenging one of the staff just for him to point to the curb, and say that is the access yeah that would be fine for some that are able to bump up a curb in their wheelchair, but not a chance In a wheelchair like mine!
Places should by law be accessible.
And if you need to buy anything with a disability use you have to pay a fortune.
I have care staff, but I can speak talk ect and I know my body and care better than anyone, but I will go to places where I need help, support or something medical and even in a hospital (unless a Spinal unit) they won't look or talk to me they will start by asking my staff, luckily my staff just say "ask him " meaning me and most of the time I don't even get an apology!"I don't think many people recognise the extra costs of being disabled, even for the most routine things. For example, my adapted car recently broke down (I had a hand clutch in a manual car). I had to hire a car to continue to go to work. I can't drive a manual unless adapted, but as soon as you select "auto gearbox" on the hire car sites, the price goes up. I need to get my wheelchair in the boot. It's a rigid frame active lifestyle chair, so it doesn't fold aside the back folding down. That means I can't hire a small car like a Toyota Aygo or whatever. I also have a child so I need at least one rear seat up. I've ended up with a Mini Countryman but that's costing me a small fortune AND the hirer has given it to me at a slight discount. And I still have to put half the rear seats down (I don't in my own car). Hiring a suitable car for my disability needs is expensive. Many hotels only have disability access rooms at the same price as the "deluxe" double or twin rooms, not the basic ones (if there's a differential). Most "accessible" hotel bathrooms are nothing of the sort and when you offer feedback to the hotel, staff tell you "but it meets minimum legal requirements" or "but no-one else has complained". I've had two hotels where shower seats have fallen off the wall with me sat on them and how much of a crap did the hotels give? None. Not a sausage. One offer half the cost back (half!) The other didn't even bother to respond to my complaint. | |||
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"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either!" Oh my god I soooooo get this! Having to apologise to people (I have single sided deafness) on your deaf side, because you didn't hear them and you do the comedical 'pardon, what did you say', they say it again, so you say 'sorry I didn't hear that' as you turn your good ear to them and your effectively looking in the opposite direction. Or you have to figure out where you are going to sit in social situations, either not hearing a thing or getting people to swap with you and this can feel rude and embarrassing depending on the situation. Or sometimes just being sick of it all, but happy being out and just content giving nods at random times because you really really can't be arsed getting people to move or constantly turning your good side to where the conversation is and then someone throws in a curve ball and joins on the convo and they are in a different direction. I TOTALLY get you on that one | |||
"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either! Oh my god I soooooo get this! Having to apologise to people (I have single sided deafness) on your deaf side, because you didn't hear them and you do the comedical 'pardon, what did you say', they say it again, so you say 'sorry I didn't hear that' as you turn your good ear to them and your effectively looking in the opposite direction. Or you have to figure out where you are going to sit in social situations, either not hearing a thing or getting people to swap with you and this can feel rude and embarrassing depending on the situation. Or sometimes just being sick of it all, but happy being out and just content giving nods at random times because you really really can't be arsed getting people to move or constantly turning your good side to where the conversation is and then someone throws in a curve ball and joins on the convo and they are in a different direction. I TOTALLY get you on that one "Of course as well as all the other stuff | |||
" My disability does not show so having to explain it everywhere I go even when I have booked the additional assistance sucks. " NOT ALL DISABILITYS ARE VISABLE ! | |||
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"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. " And these people took our claps and will happily be called an angel. | |||
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"I’ll chip in with hearing loss. Manageable 90% of the time with lip reading, having people on my good side and yelling WHAT??? A lot. Covid masks rendered me pretty fucked because not only could I not hear fuck all but I couldn’t lip read either! Oh my god I soooooo get this! Having to apologise to people (I have single sided deafness) on your deaf side, because you didn't hear them and you do the comedical 'pardon, what did you say', they say it again, so you say 'sorry I didn't hear that' as you turn your good ear to them and your effectively looking in the opposite direction. Or you have to figure out where you are going to sit in social situations, either not hearing a thing or getting people to swap with you and this can feel rude and embarrassing depending on the situation. Or sometimes just being sick of it all, but happy being out and just content giving nods at random times because you really really can't be arsed getting people to move or constantly turning your good side to where the conversation is and then someone throws in a curve ball and joins on the convo and they are in a different direction. I TOTALLY get you on that one "And nodding and smiling and saying ‘that’s great!’ When someone’s just told you their hamster died….. | |||
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" My disability does not show so having to explain it everywhere I go even when I have booked the additional assistance sucks. NOT ALL DISABILITYS ARE VISABLE ! "Totally agree. At least locally a fair amount of disabled toilets and quite a few parking spaces have notices stating 'Not all disabilities are visible' (about bloody time too). Cardiac, pulmonary and nervous system diseases aren't ususlly physically visible. | |||
"We aren’t help by a government that scrapped the Minister of State role for Disabled People recently after the current holder was moved, only to reinstate after public outcry but only as a merged role with DWP duties (what about all the focus for those disabled people unable to work, can you see that slipping down the to do list for this role if merged with DWP duties?) and downgraded from a Minister of State level." But Estella. We must all work! Heaven forbid the "freeloaders". Are there no workhouses? Etc. | |||
"We aren’t help by a government that scrapped the Minister of State role for Disabled People recently after the current holder was moved, only to reinstate after public outcry but only as a merged role with DWP duties (what about all the focus for those disabled people unable to work, can you see that slipping down the to do list for this role if merged with DWP duties?) and downgraded from a Minister of State level. But Estella. We must all work! Heaven forbid the "freeloaders". Are there no workhouses? Etc. "It’s insane isn’t it? I could talk disability all day long too - it’s a key area of my work focus, beyond my personal experience, so if we ever meet Mrs KC - I am in! | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. " Wow that's bad the biggest issue I have is can't really do much myself, so when needing a drink etc. I would always get the answer "in a minute" and all that they would be doing is sat with the other nurses talking crap. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Wow that's bad the biggest issue I have is can't really do much myself, so when needing a drink etc. I would always get the answer "in a minute" and all that they would be doing is sat with the other nurses talking crap. " Had to take my daughter to the kids hospital urgent care, sent via GP for suspected appendicitis. The triage required her to pee in a pot, so went to the toilet with a wheelchair symbol on it. I couldn't even get inside it and close the door by myself, let alone with the child too. Mr KC wasn't allowed in (one parent only and he doesn't drive, I do). I had to ask staff to go into the toilet with her, which although they did fairly willingly, it took the triage person away from their role. They didn't have any kind of assistant or similar to help with children's personal care, that was assumed to be the role of parents or guardians. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Wow that's bad the biggest issue I have is can't really do much myself, so when needing a drink etc. I would always get the answer "in a minute" and all that they would be doing is sat with the other nurses talking crap. Had to take my daughter to the kids hospital urgent care, sent via GP for suspected appendicitis. The triage required her to pee in a pot, so went to the toilet with a wheelchair symbol on it. I couldn't even get inside it and close the door by myself, let alone with the child too. Mr KC wasn't allowed in (one parent only and he doesn't drive, I do). I had to ask staff to go into the toilet with her, which although they did fairly willingly, it took the triage person away from their role. They didn't have any kind of assistant or similar to help with children's personal care, that was assumed to be the role of parents or guardians. " You would think "health professionals" would be able to accommodate but NO! It's an absolute joke isn't it | |||
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"A thing that always intrigues me and I've just been reminded. Why do hotels put their accessible rooms on the higher floors? And why don't they do proper evacuation assessments? Oh well. If this shit burns, it's been nice knowing you all!" I've only stayed in two hotels in this country, both premier inn's both times I was on the ground floor and they were very helpful and accommodating, but I didn't require a wet room | |||
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"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too." Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture | |||
"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too. Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture "Thank you
Independent and prem inns. There's a lovely hotel in Troon that's one of my favs. | |||
"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too. Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture
Thank you
Independent and prem inns. There's a lovely hotel in Troon that's one of my favs."You're more than welcome
It's great that you've found one that you like, it probably makes it much easier if you're a regular | |||
"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too. Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture
Thank you
Independent and prem inns. There's a lovely hotel in Troon that's one of my favs.
You're more than welcome
It's great that you've found one that you like, it probably makes it much easier if you're a regular "We were a regular as my other half worked up there a few times a year, i coped in ordinary rooms then (just about) but we havn't been for a few years, next time (in spring) i need a room with a shower i can easily get into, hopefully it has a seat too or we will take one with us | |||
"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too. Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture
Thank you
Independent and prem inns. There's a lovely hotel in Troon that's one of my favs.
You're more than welcome
It's great that you've found one that you like, it probably makes it much easier if you're a regular
We were a regular as my other half worked up there a few times a year, i coped in ordinary rooms then (just about) but we havn't been for a few years, next time (in spring) i need a room with a shower i can easily get into, hopefully it has a seat too or we will take one with us "If the only issue is a shower seat then you can't complain | |||
"I've been on the ground floor in hotels too. Independent hotels? Great profile btw nice picture
Thank you
Independent and prem inns. There's a lovely hotel in Troon that's one of my favs.
You're more than welcome
It's great that you've found one that you like, it probably makes it much easier if you're a regular
We were a regular as my other half worked up there a few times a year, i coped in ordinary rooms then (just about) but we havn't been for a few years, next time (in spring) i need a room with a shower i can easily get into, hopefully it has a seat too or we will take one with us
If the only issue is a shower seat then you can't complain "No complaints from me, it's a great hotel | |||
"A thing that always intrigues me and I've just been reminded. Why do hotels put their accessible rooms on the higher floors? And why don't they do proper evacuation assessments? Oh well. If this shit burns, it's been nice knowing you all! I've only stayed in two hotels in this country, both premier inn's both times I was on the ground floor and they were very helpful and accommodating, but I didn't require a wet room " It was a Premier Inn and I was on the 4th floor of 4, in a wheelchair accessible room with wet room shower. I need the shower wet room and enough space for the wheelchair. To get from Reception to the room required opening 3x heavy doors that had to be pushed or pulled. 2 to get from Reception to the lift and another to get from the lift to the room. | |||
"A thing that always intrigues me and I've just been reminded. Why do hotels put their accessible rooms on the higher floors? And why don't they do proper evacuation assessments? Oh well. If this shit burns, it's been nice knowing you all! I've only stayed in two hotels in this country, both premier inn's both times I was on the ground floor and they were very helpful and accommodating, but I didn't require a wet room It was a Premier Inn and I was on the 4th floor of 4, in a wheelchair accessible room with wet room shower. I need the shower wet room and enough space for the wheelchair. To get from Reception to the room required opening 3x heavy doors that had to be pushed or pulled. 2 to get from Reception to the lift and another to get from the lift to the room. " That's not good fortunately I've not really had any bad experiences yet!!! | |||
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"Im up an alley
Fify
I won’t derail an important and meaningful thread in order to set you straight
Please stop talking about rails!! Railways are very inaccessible places and you joke about them! The cheek!!
I wouldn’t stand for it if I was you
Jesus "Nailed it. | |||
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"Today we pulled into a side street to look for parking. People were parked half on half off the kerb. My friend followed suit and parked half on half off. I said....... I won't park on the pavement because of ( insert daughters name ) It registered with him and he pulled off the side and parked on the road. My daughter has progressive M.S. and would never have got her wheelchair through the gap that motorists leave for pedestrians. With her one hand, no leg use , collapsing chest and brain frazzle ( not to mention the bad bits ) You'd think she'd try a bit harder not to take up drivers precious space wouldn't you ?" Granny, you would indeed. You really would. Such is my annoyance with Blue Badge bay abuse, I absolutely refuse to park in one if I am not getting out, e.g. waiting to collect Mr KC. I will park somewhere else, even if it means harder work for him in walking further. He's got healthy legs etc, you see. I would hope disabled people would understand the reality for others, but disabled people are as human, and potentially selfish, as the next, unfortunately. I'm sure your daughter finds the pavement parking and other pavement related shenanigans an absolute pain in the proverbial places | |||
I hope it gets better sooner rather that later | |||
"OP, have you posted before and having a bad day and being tipped out of your wheelchair in the wet and no one helped you? It may have been someone else but my heart went out you that day I hope it gets better sooner rather that later "I've tipped out multiple times. Most times, people try to help (if there's anyone there). I generally don't want help but if face down in a puddle, I usually have to consent
The last time was on Deansgate in Manchester. A pavement pothole. I ended up with wet everything, right down to my knickers and had to sit in a sopping wet wheelchair for ages, until the football traffic fooked off. I wasn't a happy bunny that time. But a guy did try to help by tipping my chair back up the right way. I had to help myself off the floor because frankly, that's safest for everyone concerned. I'd hate to cause an injury to someone else and that's highly likely if your the weight I am. I crawled through the puddles to my newly-upright chair and climbed back in.
I hate falling out in public. People panic and get all flappy. Much better on a basketball court where everyone ignores you and nicks the ball | |||
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"The absolutely hardest part for those with chronic conditions needing additional care and support is not the condition itself, as perverse as that may sound. . It's the impact on those they love around them. . For example, a friend of mine has M.E. and needs full time care. As she said to me, "It's not just me that has M.E. I can handle that and I'm used to it. It's my whole family too. They have M.E. by proxy. My diagnosis was essentially for the whole family. I may be "Patient Zero", but they have it too." " God yes, I absolutely feel this. | |||
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, the embaresment caused to others when I catch them parking on the path, tying my dog to the chair for a long walk and his joy when I switch to full speed. I also am part of the wonky brained club and this is really difficult because folks cant see this one and Im often called rude, inappropriate, odd, obsessed and weird. WHat really freaks folks out about the ASD is that Im not a train spotter, I dont count cards and 'look normal'.
I hadnt before stated these on my profile but today Im going to own it and further reduce my chances of meets | |||
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"So, some joys of using a wheelchair for me are: Being at boob level and getting a good perv in, watching other peple move out of the way in case I 'infect them', seeing kids faces when I stick my tounge out , the embaresment caused to others when I catch them parking on the path, tying my dog to the chair for a long walk and his joy when I switch to full speed. I also am part of the wonky brained club and this is really difficult because folks cant see this one and Im often called rude, inappropriate, odd, obsessed and weird. WHat really freaks folks out about the ASD is that Im not a train spotter, I dont count cards and 'look normal'.
I hadnt before stated these on my profile but today Im going to own it and further reduce my chances of meets "Wow, people get out of your way, lucky you! When I was a wheelchair user, people ignored the fact I needed a bit of space to move and the fact I couldn't stop fast if some tw*t decided to walk right onto my path. Also, I had a guy trip over my footplate when he rushed to the newly opened check out without looking. I really wished I had a snow plough attached to my wheelchair or similar | |||
"So, some joys of using a wheelchair for me are: Being at boob level and getting a good perv in, watching other peple move out of the way in case I 'infect them', seeing kids faces when I stick my tounge out , the embaresment caused to others when I catch them parking on the path, tying my dog to the chair for a long walk and his joy when I switch to full speed. I also am part of the wonky brained club and this is really difficult because folks cant see this one and Im often called rude, inappropriate, odd, obsessed and weird. WHat really freaks folks out about the ASD is that Im not a train spotter, I dont count cards and 'look normal'.
I hadnt before stated these on my profile but today Im going to own it and further reduce my chances of meets "If you were closer, I'd happily meet with you! You have a great SOH. | |||
"So, some joys of using a wheelchair for me are: Being at boob level and getting a good perv in, watching other peple move out of the way in case I 'infect them', seeing kids faces when I stick my tounge out , the embaresment caused to others when I catch them parking on the path, tying my dog to the chair for a long walk and his joy when I switch to full speed. I also am part of the wonky brained club and this is really difficult because folks cant see this one and Im often called rude, inappropriate, odd, obsessed and weird. WHat really freaks folks out about the ASD is that Im not a train spotter, I dont count cards and 'look normal'.
I hadnt before stated these on my profile but today Im going to own it and further reduce my chances of meets
If you were closer, I'd happily meet with you! You have a great SOH."xx | |||
"So, some joys of using a wheelchair for me are: Being at boob level and getting a good perv in, watching other peple move out of the way in case I 'infect them', seeing kids faces when I stick my tounge out , the embaresment caused to others when I catch them parking on the path, tying my dog to the chair for a long walk and his joy when I switch to full speed. I also am part of the wonky brained club and this is really difficult because folks cant see this one and Im often called rude, inappropriate, odd, obsessed and weird. WHat really freaks folks out about the ASD is that Im not a train spotter, I dont count cards and 'look normal'.
I hadnt before stated these on my profile but today Im going to own it and further reduce my chances of meets
Wow, people get out of your way, lucky you! When I was a wheelchair user, people ignored the fact I needed a bit of space to move and the fact I couldn't stop fast if some tw*t decided to walk right onto my path. Also, I had a guy trip over my footplate when he rushed to the newly opened check out without looking. I really wished I had a snow plough attached to my wheelchair or similar "I gave up being subtle a long time ago. When Im using my scooter Im your average hairy biker looking type of guy (still ride today) and stocky as well. I guess when folks see me up and about they get confused as I dont look like I should be getting back into the scooter and I think this doesnt help a lot of the time because as others have said I 'dont look disabled' | |||
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"The absolutely hardest part for those with chronic conditions needing additional care and support is not the condition itself, as perverse as that may sound. . It's the impact on those they love around them. . For example, a friend of mine has M.E. and needs full time care. As she said to me, "It's not just me that has M.E. I can handle that and I'm used to it. It's my whole family too. They have M.E. by proxy. My diagnosis was essentially for the whole family. I may be "Patient Zero", but they have it too." " I feel this so much today, in the snow and ice. I have been so reliant on Mr KC and our 6yo daughter and work colleagues, to the point I am typing this through tears. I hate it. I hate being dependent on other people. I hate making them have to change their plans or perform tasks that 6yos normally don't do. I feel like such a burden to everyone around me and I really and truly abhor it. I also feel like such a twat sitting in hysterics in my home office. | |||
"The absolutely hardest part for those with chronic conditions needing additional care and support is not the condition itself, as perverse as that may sound. . It's the impact on those they love around them. . For example, a friend of mine has M.E. and needs full time care. As she said to me, "It's not just me that has M.E. I can handle that and I'm used to it. It's my whole family too. They have M.E. by proxy. My diagnosis was essentially for the whole family. I may be "Patient Zero", but they have it too." I feel this so much today, in the snow and ice. I have been so reliant on Mr KC and our 6yo daughter and work colleagues, to the point I am typing this through tears. I hate it. I hate being dependent on other people. I hate making them have to change their plans or perform tasks that 6yos normally don't do. I feel like such a burden to everyone around me and I really and truly abhor it. I also feel like such a twat sitting in hysterics in my home office. " I hear you. I'm sorry. | |||
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"The absolutely hardest part for those with chronic conditions needing additional care and support is not the condition itself, as perverse as that may sound. . It's the impact on those they love around them. . For example, a friend of mine has M.E. and needs full time care. As she said to me, "It's not just me that has M.E. I can handle that and I'm used to it. It's my whole family too. They have M.E. by proxy. My diagnosis was essentially for the whole family. I may be "Patient Zero", but they have it too." I feel this so much today, in the snow and ice. I have been so reliant on Mr KC and our 6yo daughter and work colleagues, to the point I am typing this through tears. I hate it. I hate being dependent on other people. I hate making them have to change their plans or perform tasks that 6yos normally don't do. I feel like such a burden to everyone around me and I really and truly abhor it. I also feel like such a twat sitting in hysterics in my home office. " Sending you a big hug and lots of love. When I’m able to support and be there for someone it’s such a privilege and I adore it (albeit I also hate being or feeling I’m a burden) so do remember that it is for those giving support an opportunity to express and tangibly demonstrate their love. But I get it and I’m sorry you’re having a tough time today. | |||
"We are all stuck with the abilities that we have & some people for some reason did not receive all the abilities available. Some seem to have not been given enthusiasm, or concern just apathy & see disabled people as none productive We must appreciate that as long as we measure UK success in terms of GDP Rather than homelessness,health and wellbeing, education poverty. Then I don't expect things to change for the less able people in our society " Some of us disableds were born with everything (pretty much) intact and swanned around the world in an able bodied way for many years. 31, in my case. I don't like what I've become or what the world relegates me too because I'm no different to the able bodied person I was in 2016 and earlier. And people born with disabilities are also people with abilities. We just have to enable them to be demonstrated. And if GDP is the measure, then my contributions in the form of FT work, NI, tax, purchasing and consumption should go someway. Mistake #1 is to assume that disabled people are not economically active. Everyone is economically active in some way - if you spend your PIP money on a new set of tyres for your wheelchair, you just spent money in a business. You are economically active in that transaction. | |||
"It's a bit better than being disabled in 1974, but there's still a LONG way to go! I can't use all forms of public transport in the same way an able bodied person can. When I find an accessible railway station, I can't just turn up and get on a train, like an able bodied person. Even if I pre book assistance 48hrs in advance, they won't guarantee I get on a specific train. Assistance is often not there or delayed. Disabled people are woefully under employed compared to able bodied people. Of working age people, the disability employment rate was 53.6% in Q2 2023, compared to 82.5% for non-disabled people. There are many reasons for the under employment of disabled people, but the biggest factors are a lack of understanding from employers and either outright or subliminal discrimination. There is also a massive waiting time for the Government Access to Work scheme, which funds certain things that disabled people might require, to enable them to work. The initial wait for an assessment is now more than 6 months. It used to be 6 weeks. Loads of places are totally inaccessible. I can't just decide to go for a day or night out or a holiday without military level pre planning and even then, broken lifts, inaccurate reports from businesses and various other things will mean plans are ruined. This is a great way to disappoint your children, when Mum can't get into the place she should be able to get into. What's the solution? Mum stays outside/in the café and Dad takes her. I am therefore excluded. Getting a Blue Badge is akin to intergovernmental negotiations on nuclear weapons or something. It's really NOT easy to get a Blue Badge. And then when you have one, you have people using the limited number of parking bays because "they're just nipping in for a sandwich" or "they're collecting something big from Argos". Fuck off! Most kids birthday party venues are not accessible to either disabled parents or children. I could go on. I will if people are interested. But most people actually aren't interested "Totally agree with everything you say, I could also add that despite raising the pension age no improvement in age discrimination law pertaining to work, so you can't retire and can't work - our government is not fit for purpose | |||
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"And now, even better, from my DAD'S GP: "The doctor will visit him at home tomorrow. Please can you or your brother be there" Errrrrrrrr. No. No, we can't at less than 24h notice and with a vague "afternoon" time, whilst we work. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" That used to happen a lot when my mum was being assessed for dementia and care associated with it. They just changed appointment times with no notice. It often meant that neither my siblings or me could go despite it being important for us to be there. | |||
"And now, even better, from my DAD'S GP: "The doctor will visit him at home tomorrow. Please can you or your brother be there" Errrrrrrrr. No. No, we can't at less than 24h notice and with a vague "afternoon" time, whilst we work. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" I hope you're able to sort something out for tomorrow. | |||
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"Shout out to the lurker who has sent an unpleasant message about me looking like Andy from Little Britain. Be more creative "Seriously! I mean that's a rather basic insult. Maybe they should try reading more books or something rather than spending time insulting people. | |||
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"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. " Would love to hear the Nurses version of events. | |||
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"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events." You mean the healthcare assistant who was "spoken to" (aka disciplined) by the ward manager, who whom I complained? I think she understands that she shouldn't do things like that now. Getting PALS involved was very helpful. | |||
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"I lost a leg a few years ago due to diabetes but cant get anything as Im not classed as disabled because Im making the effort to try and life my life to the full with my prosthetic leg. I have a blue badge but that is all. The hubby had to change my car himself when my license was down graded to only automatic car. He paid for my mobility scooter himself which I ended up making a tit of myself the second day I was out in it as at the bottom of our high street crossing the road someone had parked in front of the lowered kerb crossing of the road. I tried going down of the kerb, scooter grounded and I was stuck. Luckily a couple of guys in shining armour came to my rescue and lifted the front end clear to get back on the pavement but ended up going about 500 yards back up the street and coming back down on the road facing on coming traffic" Your story is very familiar, I have a friend who is an amputee following a motorcycle accident and he too struggles to get any kind of support. He had his PIP removed as soon as he was given a prosthetic, despite serious ongoing issues with his stump and being unable to use it fairly often. His experience is the reason I haven't ever bothered applying for PIP. I don't have the mental fortitude to beg the Government to give me a few quid. I didn't qualify for NHS wheelchair services either, so I have paid for all my own mobility equipment as well. I'm currently in the process of buying an automatic car because the clutch adaptation on my manual car has broken (again) and I've had to hire a car for the past 6 weeks, which we can ill afford. It's incredibly expensive being disabled, isn't it? | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events." Nurses have plenty of other things to do. The personal care side etc has been bumped onto health care assistants, who, a lot of the times, just do this job because it's easy to get into (like most care work), does not require any particular qualifications and basic training is given. What you can't train, however, is basic humanity and empathy. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events. You mean the healthcare assistant who was "spoken to" (aka disciplined) by the ward manager, who whom I complained? I think she understands that she shouldn't do things like that now. Getting PALS involved was very helpful. " I mean the Nurses,which is why I said Nurses,not healthcare assistant.Funnily enough non disabled people know the difference too,but I would like to hear the Healthcare Assistants version of events now you mention it.Interpretation of patient language and attitude for example.When people throw coffee grinds into the low level sink they are not being inconsiderate,they are making a statement,sending a message."spoken too" is not discipline,no matter how much you want it to be. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events. Nurses have plenty of other things to do. The personal care side etc has been bumped onto health care assistants, who, a lot of the times, just do this job because it's easy to get into (like most care work), does not require any particular qualifications and basic training is given. What you can't train, however, is basic humanity and empathy. " I have a few good friends who are long serving Nurses,the attitude and language they are exposed to by people wanting to be helped is incredible,hardly encourages you to help,and we are not talking about people smashed up in an RTA or seriously stabbed,frightened and in pain. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events. Nurses have plenty of other things to do. The personal care side etc has been bumped onto health care assistants, who, a lot of the times, just do this job because it's easy to get into (like most care work), does not require any particular qualifications and basic training is given. What you can't train, however, is basic humanity and empathy. I have a few good friends who are long serving Nurses,the attitude and language they are exposed to by people wanting to be helped is incredible,hardly encourages you to help,and we are not talking about people smashed up in an RTA or seriously stabbed,frightened and in pain." Have you got any friends who were bed-bound patients relying on others with all (or most) aspects of their care? As I don't think you have experienced it personally. If you did, the tone of your posts would have been different. | |||
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"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. " This thread has been great in the whole especially for us that do have disability, and I don't think that it's right or appropriate to question or challenge the OP. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. " After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. | |||
"Also, hospitals are THE shittest places to be disabled. When I was an inpatient last year, I was treated as if I was a complete pain in the arse, including right within my earshot. Staff complained about having to aid me in the shower (had there been a properly accessible shower, they could have fucked off and done something else). They kept asking why my husband wasn't visiting to help me (I dunno. Something about working and having a young child on his own at home?) I was told by one healthcare assistant that there were no clean nightshirts when I needed one, so was sat in a soiled one. There WERE clean nightshirts. The person told me that out of spite. They found it funny. Stuff like that. Would love to hear the Nurses version of events. Nurses have plenty of other things to do. The personal care side etc has been bumped onto health care assistants, who, a lot of the times, just do this job because it's easy to get into (like most care work), does not require any particular qualifications and basic training is given. What you can't train, however, is basic humanity and empathy. I have a few good friends who are long serving Nurses,the attitude and language they are exposed to by people wanting to be helped is incredible,hardly encourages you to help,and we are not talking about people smashed up in an RTA or seriously stabbed,frightened and in pain. Have you got any friends who were bed-bound patients relying on others with all (or most) aspects of their care? As I don't think you have experienced it personally. If you did, the tone of your posts would have been different. " 22 years ago I was the victim in a 'Driving without due care and attention" RTA,which left me virtually paralysed from the waist down for ten days,unable to walk unaided for a few months after that and still feeling the consequences today.Dont assume..... | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. This thread has been great in the whole especially for us that do have disability, and I don't think that it's right or appropriate to question or challenge the OP." If we don't question or challenge we don't learn.Should all science therefore be stopped?. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor." Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. " Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP." To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. " I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. | |||
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"Hope it gets better for ya when labour get in " If I could care less I would.Who is 'ya'? Someone you know who is a friend of Howard Molson? | |||
"Hope it gets better for ya when labour get in If I could care less I would.Who is 'ya'? Someone you know who is a friend of Howard Molson?" no clue what that means but thank you for your cooperation | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like." I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included | |||
"Hope it gets better for ya when labour get in If I could care less I would.Who is 'ya'? Someone you know who is a friend of Howard Molson?" I like the term ‘ya’ I just used it in my reply to ya.  | |||
"Hope it gets better for ya when labour get in If I could care less I would.Who is 'ya'? Someone you know who is a friend of Howard Molson?no clue what that means but thank you for your cooperation" On the contrary,thank you.Without 'ya'valuable insight none of this would have been possible.Whats the rain gauge reading? | |||
"Hope it gets better for ya when labour get in If I could care less I would.Who is 'ya'? Someone you know who is a friend of Howard Molson?no clue what that means but thank you for your cooperation On the contrary,thank you.Without 'ya'valuable insight none of this would have been possible.Whats the rain gauge reading?" its true its true your welcome finally recognition for me greatness | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included " one of the most coherent responses I have read on FAB,and that's not me being patronising if any of the usual suspects are around.I requested (not ordered demanded etc) no engagement because the replies to my posts were getting tiresome and predictable.When the request wasn't respected and the comments kept coming I let it go,no reporting to Mods.As you say 'public space'.But if I reply to OP I'm the villain.Consistency? | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included
one of the most coherent responses I have read on FAB,and that's not me being patronising if any of the usual suspects are around.I requested (not ordered demanded etc) no engagement because the replies to my posts were getting tiresome and predictable.When the request wasn't respected and the comments kept coming I let it go,no reporting to Mods.As you say 'public space'.But if I reply to OP I'm the villain.Consistency?"I’ve not called you or implied you’re a villain. Just wondering if tit for twat is worthwhile? | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included
one of the most coherent responses I have read on FAB,and that's not me being patronising if any of the usual suspects are around.I requested (not ordered demanded etc) no engagement because the replies to my posts were getting tiresome and predictable.When the request wasn't respected and the comments kept coming I let it go,no reporting to Mods.As you say 'public space'.But if I reply to OP I'm the villain.Consistency?
I’ve not called you or implied you’re a villain. Just wondering if tit for twat is worthwhile?"Never said you had or implied it.Just making an observation of responses from many threads going back months and months.Another interesting observation is that if I was female and received those responses the reaction would be somewhat different once we had got past the inevitable 'white knights' to something less shallow. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included
one of the most coherent responses I have read on FAB,and that's not me being patronising if any of the usual suspects are around.I requested (not ordered demanded etc) no engagement because the replies to my posts were getting tiresome and predictable.When the request wasn't respected and the comments kept coming I let it go,no reporting to Mods.As you say 'public space'.But if I reply to OP I'm the villain.Consistency?
I’ve not called you or implied you’re a villain. Just wondering if tit for twat is worthwhile?
Never said you had or implied it.Just making an observation of responses from many threads going back months and months.Another interesting observation is that if I was female and received those responses the reaction would be somewhat different once we had got past the inevitable 'white knights' to something less shallow."Ah well that’s the problem with “debating” on a site where people predominantly are looking to fuck each other and where there are more men looking than women. There’s another agenda going on. Well if consistency is what’s key, have at it. If not feeling aggrieved or a reduction to being misread and feeling got yourself at or upsetting someone else is more important maybe don’t post on her threads or reply to her. It’s completely your choice. Which is a good thing. Each to their own. Right I really must concentrate on Saltburn which I’m watching. | |||
"Mr. Coins, previously, you have specifically stated you do not wish me to engage with you or comment on your threads. I have respected that, even if I have no respect whatsoever for you. Yet, here you are. Questioning my experience. We've received so many private messages from people who are disabled, but don't feel able to contribute to the thread or mention their disability openly here. The thread has been useful and interesting to various people and has been, despite some difficult content, broadly positive. I would kindly request that your evident dislike of me, Mrs KC, does not start to drive this thread down an argumentative and negative route. Perhaps taking your own advice/request would be best for all concerned? Have a lovely day. After politely requesting (not stating or demanding) you not to engage with me you have repeatedly done so time after time in many threads,with quoted replies of a 'snarky',argumentative, patronising,condescending and provocative nature,even employing (misinterpreted) Wikipedia information to try and provoke an argument.I have seen similar comments/replies to other people in threads I haven't posted into. In other words you deliberately ignored my request.You have therefore NOT respected that request in the slightest.I doubt you would know respect if you fell over it.Expressing an interest in "the other side of the story" is not questioning someone's experience,it's getting another perspective,or is that not allowed?I have no dislike of anyone.As far as negative and argumentative is concerned,pot kettle black.Physician heal thyself.Now,tell us of the shovels to be found on Denley Moor. Mmmm. She’s not said demanded. There feels to be an agenda here methinks. Never said she 'demanded',I was clarifying and being specific(bearing in mind past experience of deliberate misquoting/misunderstanding).I never 'stated',just politely asked and was ignored,even on that same day.The only agenda is trying to provoke argument and confrontation.From private messages I have received from other forum users they have a similar experience of OP. To state is to clearly express which is neutral so I feel perfectly fair to have said when you prefer the term politely asked. Your reference to the phrase she uses (stated) and then supplementary use of the term demanding, infers you feel that was what she was meaning or had specifically used as a phrase. Provoking argument and confrontation? Are you saying you are? Those words have negative connotation unlike the word debate or providing another perspective; from that I feel even more that you have a more personal agenda. Globalising that others feel the same in private messages is provocative and (IMO) again reads “I feel righteous about being argumentative and provocative with the OP. I don’t like that. It isn’t in the spirit of real debate and discussion. Anyway that’s how I read you. I have never been provocative or confrontational to OP.I have tried to engage in debate before but have just been met with non engagement of the point,distraction,deflection and accusations of things i haven't said or implied.Provoking and confrontational are my many experiences of OP.Experinces you clearly aren't aware of.Read what you like. I asked if you meant you, you’ve now clarified you didn’t. That’s fair: but read how your reply can and was read by me. Perhaps bear in mind that your reply isn’t as clear as you intend and Thant can lead to people misunderstanding - it’s very easy on the internet. Which is why I asked the question and explained how I thought it read - I accept that you didn’t mean you, which explains further to me. But even here you go on to be dismissive of me just because it was unclear and I gave my opinion on the (now clarified) wrong reading. I wonder if there’s been misinterpretation from you and perhaps from the OP at times? With both perhaps jumping to conclusions, that could easily explain it. Text can read bluntly too. Although I do read your “discussion” points further up the thread and wonder if by saying you’d like to be hearing the other person’s perspective in a scenario where the OP has felt aggrieved isn’t a little deliberately “provocative” given this history with the OP you feel exists. It reads bluntly and is about her specific experience again can imply rightly or wrongly that you’re disbelieving her experience. Re this asking people not to comment and need to police someone’s adherence to or not, it’s a public space. There’s no right or wrong if someone does or doesn’t adhere to it, and perhaps life would be easier (for both parties) to not feel so aggrieved by the fact. But ya know, if you asked for it, whether it was followed or not, why not demonstrate how one does respect the request rather than resorting to a “you didn’t so I shan’t”, I mean jeez. Shrugs. Keyboard warriorism - myself included
one of the most coherent responses I have read on FAB,and that's not me being patronising if any of the usual suspects are around.I requested (not ordered demanded etc) no engagement because the replies to my posts were getting tiresome and predictable.When the request wasn't respected and the comments kept coming I let it go,no reporting to Mods.As you say 'public space'.But if I reply to OP I'm the villain.Consistency?
I’ve not called you or implied you’re a villain. Just wondering if tit for twat is worthwhile?
Never said you had or implied it.Just making an observation of responses from many threads going back months and months.Another interesting observation is that if I was female and received those responses the reaction would be somewhat different once we had got past the inevitable 'white knights' to something less shallow."bro bro bro based on the shady way you just went after my comment with you fake backhanded passive aggressive bullshit praise Dude you could have had 3 tits a face like angelina and a quim tighter than jam jar lid it would take a desperate bloke to back that kind of play but il take it cos im not the guy i used to be im trying real hard to be better but that shit dont make it easy thank you for your cooperation | |||
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"It's nice to see that a fairly productive discussion about disability in 2024 went to shit, anyway. We can't have anything nice round here, can we?! *Rolls away sadly*" It was a great post but people tend to ruin positive things | |||
" 22 years ago I was the victim in a 'Driving without due care and attention" RTA,which left me virtually paralysed from the waist down for ten days,unable to walk unaided for a few months after that and still feeling the consequences today.Dont assume....." 22 years ago was a different world. Even 5 years ago, when my experience comes from. Sadly, the change is not for the better as hospital staff are understaffed and overworked, and patients have less and less patience and more and more demands. However, basic human rights to privacy and dignity, even when you're bed-bound, need to be respected. | |||
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"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?" I can't open it. Can you give us the just please | |||
"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?" Wow, this is terrible! Where is dignity and person-centred care? I guess it all goes out of the window once the accountants take over! | |||
"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?I can't open it. Can you give us the just please" Due to the lack of funds for social care, Bristol council intends to move younger disabled people, who currently live in their own, adapted home, sometimes with support/care input, into care homes. They would have no choice because their current package would no longer be available, so the "choice" would be to cope without adaptation/support or move into an institution. This includes disabled people who are currently able to work, because if they need social care to assist them in getting ready and out to work, that might get cut too. Basically it's potentially going back to the good old days when disabled people were institutionalised, with no agency to make their own choices about their lives, and isolated from wider society. | |||
"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?I can't open it. Can you give us the just please Due to the lack of funds for social care, Bristol council intends to move younger disabled people, who currently live in their own, adapted home, sometimes with support/care input, into care homes. They would have no choice because their current package would no longer be available, so the "choice" would be to cope without adaptation/support or move into an institution. This includes disabled people who are currently able to work, because if they need social care to assist them in getting ready and out to work, that might get cut too. Basically it's potentially going back to the good old days when disabled people were institutionalised, with no agency to make their own choices about their lives, and isolated from wider society." That is disgusting. We have quite a few adapted homes here and for very disabled people they live two to a big house with full time careers. We're very lucky here. I only got my bungalow because I'm disabled | |||
"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?I can't open it. Can you give us the just please Due to the lack of funds for social care, Bristol council intends to move younger disabled people, who currently live in their own, adapted home, sometimes with support/care input, into care homes. They would have no choice because their current package would no longer be available, so the "choice" would be to cope without adaptation/support or move into an institution. This includes disabled people who are currently able to work, because if they need social care to assist them in getting ready and out to work, that might get cut too. Basically it's potentially going back to the good old days when disabled people were institutionalised, with no agency to make their own choices about their lives, and isolated from wider society." Sounds horrific I’m going to be honest and you can judge me for this but I never believed how bad things were until I was living with a disabled person.Know it’s nowhere near as severe but even going for a night out feels like we’re locked out if so many places This all sounds supremely selfish I know | |||
"Oh. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/25/warehouse-disabled-people-bristol-city-council It IS the 21st century, right? Or is my timeline wrong?I can't open it. Can you give us the just please Due to the lack of funds for social care, Bristol council intends to move younger disabled people, who currently live in their own, adapted home, sometimes with support/care input, into care homes. They would have no choice because their current package would no longer be available, so the "choice" would be to cope without adaptation/support or move into an institution. This includes disabled people who are currently able to work, because if they need social care to assist them in getting ready and out to work, that might get cut too. Basically it's potentially going back to the good old days when disabled people were institutionalised, with no agency to make their own choices about their lives, and isolated from wider society. Sounds horrific I’m going to be honest and you can judge me for this but I never believed how bad things were until I was living with a disabled person.Know it’s nowhere near as severe but even going for a night out feels like we’re locked out if so many places This all sounds supremely selfish I know" It's not selfish at all. It's how things are for disabled people and their families. Spontaneous decisions are often impossible and even careful planning can be completely KO'd by a broken lift or something similar. | |||
"On the Blue Badge thing, one of the reasons it's so hard to get one is due to abuses by people and the narrative that a majority of people are faking disability to get "better" parking. It always makes me smile ironically that the fakers who do fake disability to get benefits and/or a Blue Badge stop faking it when they think no one is looking. They cast aside the crutches and stop asking a relative to push them in a cheap wheelchair. Why? Because ACTUALLY living as a disabled person is fucking hard work. It's often really unpleasant, actually. Hardly anyone fakes disability but actually continues the fakery (there are a vanishingly small number of people with something like Münchhausen syndrome, but they are so few as to be irrelevant). " After seeing a guy park outside of Hove library in his ferrari, put a disabled badge in the window, when the guy got out of his car, he looked like he spent most of his time in the gym. | |||
"On the Blue Badge thing, one of the reasons it's so hard to get one is due to abuses by people and the narrative that a majority of people are faking disability to get "better" parking. It always makes me smile ironically that the fakers who do fake disability to get benefits and/or a Blue Badge stop faking it when they think no one is looking. They cast aside the crutches and stop asking a relative to push them in a cheap wheelchair. Why? Because ACTUALLY living as a disabled person is fucking hard work. It's often really unpleasant, actually. Hardly anyone fakes disability but actually continues the fakery (there are a vanishingly small number of people with something like Münchhausen syndrome, but they are so few as to be irrelevant). After seeing a guy park outside of Hove library in his ferrari, put a disabled badge in the window, when the guy got out of his car, he looked like he spent most of his time in the gym." Do disabled people not go to the gym too? There's some very buff disabled people in the world (I am not one of them). Disabled people may also drive fancy cars. I get people rushing over to berate me about using Blue Badge spaces (I am a Blue Badge holder). I think it's because I am relatively young and when I'm parking, they can only see the "healthy looking" torso of a young person. They shut up when they realise my wheelchair is in the boot (actually, some don't, but that's another story). TL:DR - looks aren't everything. He might have been genuine. He might not have been. | |||
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"On the Blue Badge thing, one of the reasons it's so hard to get one is due to abuses by people and the narrative that a majority of people are faking disability to get "better" parking. It always makes me smile ironically that the fakers who do fake disability to get benefits and/or a Blue Badge stop faking it when they think no one is looking. They cast aside the crutches and stop asking a relative to push them in a cheap wheelchair. Why? Because ACTUALLY living as a disabled person is fucking hard work. It's often really unpleasant, actually. Hardly anyone fakes disability but actually continues the fakery (there are a vanishingly small number of people with something like Münchhausen syndrome, but they are so few as to be irrelevant). After seeing a guy park outside of Hove library in his ferrari, put a disabled badge in the window, when the guy got out of his car, he looked like he spent most of his time in the gym. Do disabled people not go to the gym too? There's some very buff disabled people in the world (I am not one of them). Disabled people may also drive fancy cars. I get people rushing over to berate me about using Blue Badge spaces (I am a Blue Badge holder). I think it's because I am relatively young and when I'm parking, they can only see the "healthy looking" torso of a young person. They shut up when they realise my wheelchair is in the boot (actually, some don't, but that's another story). TL:DR - looks aren't everything. He might have been genuine. He might not have been. " I have suffered in the past with debilitating mental illness and physical illness, I have jumped through hoops just to get pip, after suffering for over a decade of fighting I finally scored enough to get a blue badge. I use it when I'm having a bad day. I've lost count of all the times I've had arguments with people over my right to park there even though I've got my badge on display. Some people can get very aggressive just because I'm driving a Mercedes. I've worked hard my adult life, I've worked when most would of given up through the pain and strain of it all. | |||
"I'm fortunate that I don't have mobility issues. But I am disabled and honestly, the biggest problem I've had is people. People don't accept you're disabled if you "don't look disabled". I need lots of rests (dysautonomia causes me to have a massively high heart rate... just standing uses 4x more energy than a person with these problems), need to sit etc. So I sit on the floor as there are rarely benchs then stand back up and trigger myself again! It'd be funny if it didn't cause me to pass out fairly often (I'm averaging 10-12 pass outs a week if I don't leave the house). Where did all the benchs go? I'd never noticed they seem to be in decline until I had these problems " I'm sorry you're experiencing that, it sounds really difficult to cope with
I do wonder what the "town planners" are thinking when they do things like remove seating or lock/close public loos or fail to install ramps or whatever other daft decisions that result in challenges for disabled people.
Would a lightweight folding camping-type chair be something you could take around with you, as a possible suggestion? I have a friend who suffered terribly with ME in her teens and she took to doing that.
No-one believes my gym PT is disabled either. Over 6ft, very muscular etc. But definitely disabled. He gets very funny looks or outright challenge when he uses his disabled rail card....., | |||
