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Being a man in 2024
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy. |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
I've grown into a man who is confident in his abilities to get by in life and work. My lack of confidence is based souly on my looks and my appeal to women.
I don't believe I have poor mental health, I just get on with things and don't let my lack of confidence in some areas affect the other parts of my life that I feel confident in. I'm generally a happy guy, the negative feeling do not win over the positive. I'm a good person and I find much of my strength from this. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
"
Absolutely agree. The negative role models are so much louder these days than the positive ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose?
I’m avoiding over stretching my point from in the workplace/body image/money etc as it’s a competitive world if you fall for all that, and very very very few can be at the top of their game, or if we all were, nobody would be.  |
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Being a man means embodying qualities of integrity, compassion, and responsibility, while actively working towards personal growth and positively impacting the lives of those around you. Stuff those social media posts that promote negative values we are better than that. |
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Being a man in 2024 isn't a whole lot different from being a man in 2014 or 2004.
I can't say I've ever felt pressure to behave in a certain way but then again I've been a caregiver from the age of 12 and as such I treat everyone around me as an equal.
I don't drink or smoke and never have done because I have never been influenced by my peers.
It therefore follows that if my close friends couldn't influence my decisions over the years it's unlikely I'm ever going to do "manly" things in order to keep up with the latest trend or follow in the very shallow footsteps left by social media influencers.
Twenty plus years ago I watched a man who would have been about the same age I am now, despair, because a young girl tripped and faceplanted into the pavement and all he could do was stand 6 feet away and ask if she was ok before shouting for help.
He apologised numerous times for not doing more but he knew the risks of actually touching her or helping her up. His first reaction was to do exactly that but he pulled back.
There has always been stigma attached to mental health regardless of gender.
Less so in more recent times but some men still feel it's seen as a sign of weakness to admit any issues.
It took me until 7 years ago to admit mine to myself and another 6 months to admit it out loud to anyone else.
That was only partially to do with being a man.
It also had a lot to do with geography and where I grew up and the belief that living in a war zone for so many years had hardened me to a degree where I didn't need anyone else's help.
It also had a lot to do with experience of the NHS over the years and a lack of faith in the services available.
So to answer the question of what it means to be a man in 2024, for me personally it means exactly the same as it did in 2014 and 2004 because all these issues that modern men are experiencing are not new.
Neither is the unwillingness of some to listen to their concerns or the usual suspects who want to put everything in a box and stick a label on it.
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It’s all driven by the messages received from your various media platforms and interests.
It’s no different from being a woman in 2024.
Stop watching television and ditch all media and very quickly feel totally different.
I went through it in my early 30’s, I am compassionate about your post but it really is completely driven by what we now accept as societal norms.
Fuck it all off and simply live |
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"It’s all driven by the messages received from your various media platforms and interests.
It’s no different from being a woman in 2024.
Stop watching television and ditch all media and very quickly feel totally different.
I went through it in my early 30’s, I am compassionate about your post but it really is completely driven by what we now accept as societal norms.
Fuck it all off and simply live "
Totally agree with this. Outsourcing autonomy to apps and algorithms- letting them decide what you see- will mess you up eventually. The kind of porn you watch can also have an adverse effect on mood and self esteem. I kicked the SM habit - I talk about it like a drug because that's what it is, it's why the SM platforms call you "users" - 6 years ago and been far healthier in the mind since.
TV too with its constant advertising and product placement is increasingly made by people who have never lived in the real world or had a real job. Writers, actors, directors - so many are nepo babies or born into upper middle class privilege - they don't have a clue what a boots-on-the-ground life is really like.
There is no defined role for men in the 21st century. we're told it's a good thing because it frees us from stereotypical norms. But freedom...Well its the revolutionaries' curse - not everyone knows what to do with freedom. Some people, most probably, were happy with their gender assigned roles. There are so few things you can count on growing up, so few dependable constants, removing or questioning something foundational like gender will inevitably lead to identity issues. From what many others have said and written, it is clearly tremendously liberating to be gender fluid but, like it or not, our species is less akin to higher apes - because they know what to do with their freedom - and closer to the lions in the safari park: happy living in a free-range illusion but completely lost and probably doomed without the electric fence.
Mr.W |
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose? "
That thinking bothers me.
Find a purpose.
I don't exist to give men a purpose.
I'm a whole person, with my own wants and needs and drive, and sense of purpose.
By not wanting to breed I'm not depriving men of their only purpose. And if I am, they need to find something else they can make their purpose in life  |
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose?
That thinking bothers me.
Find a purpose.
I don't exist to give men a purpose.
I'm a whole person, with my own wants and needs and drive, and sense of purpose.
By not wanting to breed I'm not depriving men of their only purpose. And if I am, they need to find something else they can make their purpose in life "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose?
That thinking bothers me.
Find a purpose.
I don't exist to give men a purpose.
I'm a whole person, with my own wants and needs and drive, and sense of purpose.
By not wanting to breed I'm not depriving men of their only purpose. And if I am, they need to find something else they can make their purpose in life "
I think if your life revolves around making someone else happy all the time you’re bound to end up being unhappy yourself. You have to find purpose and happiness in yourself before looking outwards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose?
That thinking bothers me.
Find a purpose.
I don't exist to give men a purpose.
I'm a whole person, with my own wants and needs and drive, and sense of purpose.
By not wanting to breed I'm not depriving men of their only purpose. And if I am, they need to find something else they can make their purpose in life "
A family didn’t need to include children. my point wasn’t realy about bearing children.
I know my value as a person, but it’s a thought of, my experience (which is personal admittedly) where if I’m not giving a woman absolutely everything she wants, regardless of my wants and needs (which I’m fluid with because that’s how I see a good solid relationship), I’m not fit to be loved.
….So far.  I’m still swiping right and hoping for the best.  |
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This whole diminishing of men thing, I do not subscribe to. I believe in the individual. The individual, regardless of sex, is who we are. We are all different and categorising almost half the population in saying they should be this or that is not how it works.
Confidence or even belief in who you are is what I subscribe to. Knowing that you don't have self confidence, or you're not like him/her over there is what makes the individual interesting. The day we stop saying people should be this or that is the day we achieve.
I'm comfortable (ISH) in me and I go with it, I'm too far into this life to change my being to suit a stereotype or perception of sex. |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy.
I've grown into a man who is confident in his abilities to get by in life and work. My lack of confidence is based souly on my looks and my appeal to women.
I don't believe I have poor mental health, I just get on with things and don't let my lack of confidence in some areas affect the other parts of my life that I feel confident in. I'm generally a happy guy, the negative feeling do not win over the positive. I'm a good person and I find much of my strength from this."
But it is definately in the eye of the beholder. All the other stuff you mentioned are more important to people with some 'depth' than just looks. You will be surprised how many people find good looks totally unattractive. Only have to look around you to see that ofhen one half of a couple (either sex) often does not conform to stereotypically 'good looks'. Attraction is often found in other characteristics rather than looks imo. Shed the lack of confidence in your looks (which is probably not based on anything rationale or even factual) and you will probably find it was the lack of confidence stemming from your perception rather than anything else that was the issue. Though to be fair there have been many a times on and off that many of us have felt the same, even the 'good looking' ones. It takes a very arrogant, rather than a confident person to ever say 'I am good looking' when that is such a subjective opinion. Keep posting lovely pics of your travel and have fun |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy.
I've grown into a man who is confident in his abilities to get by in life and work. My lack of confidence is based souly on my looks and my appeal to women.
I don't believe I have poor mental health, I just get on with things and don't let my lack of confidence in some areas affect the other parts of my life that I feel confident in. I'm generally a happy guy, the negative feeling do not win over the positive. I'm a good person and I find much of my strength from this."
From what I can see of your face you're a good looking guy , great body pics and from the interactions we've had on some of the forms I think youre a decent guy x |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
I'm not affected by outside influences ' The media' I've lived a life thats full and travelled each and every bye way and now the end is nearer, could somebody please shut the door |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
"
I think the problem with these sorts of articles is people forget that someone is being paid to fill space somewhere which is very similar to influencers telling you what you should and shouldn't be. People should just be the person that makes themselves happy without the need for any comparisons. It's a much better way to live your life surely. |
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I am not sure this is specifically so for men. It applies to some women, to some children and young adults, to parents, to all sorts of groups of people. You will never be good enough or feel you have a purpose unless you feel happy within yourself and surround yourself with people who care and love you for who you are rather than what they wish you were. The rest are just passers by that tolerate you and you them for some sort of convenience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting post OP and not something I've really thought about.
It's a cliche but being a decent human is all that matters, the right people will enter/ leave your circle. Who cares what some random person on social media tells us what we should be doing, who the hell are they?
If you're going to be anything as a man, do some work on yourself (if you have to) and stop blaming others for shit. Take some accountability, be vulnerable.
Slightly off topic but the amount of damage that's caused by men/ dad's not being in their childrens life is what sickens/ saddens me. If you can be anything as a man - regardless of social standing, be a decent and present parent.
I guess that's what makes a man. Being open, accountable, present, real. |
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Try reading “the subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson it helped me focus on what’s important and that’s about 2% of what we tend think is important, find your own way, not someone else’s
H xx |
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It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a Man - By Tsleevesless
Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers, and some of us don't even get that.
Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions.
We don't know what it sounds to hear:
I see you.
I am proud of you.
I am glad you are here.
You really make a difference.
Yet, the expectation is to constantly be displaying the strength and love the world is hesitant in conveying.
We are expected to have a thick skin, but be judged if it turns into a hard shell.
The first step in being a man is ignoring the hunger, because, yes boy, you are going to be starving.
Starved of attention.
Starved of affirmation.
Starved of love.
Starved of being told that you are enough.
Step 2 in being a man is comfortability with replaceability. You are only good as you are useful. You are only as valuable as you are needed by others.
Should there ever come a day, boy, where you fail to provide to everybody with a smiling face, then do not be surprised when they say that all men do is take out space.” |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there"
I’ve got a pink job for you man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a Man - By Tsleevesless
Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers, and some of us don't even get that.
Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions.
..,"
That actually touches on something I’ve learned, and I think a lot of men will agree.
As a rule, We don’t receive compliments. |
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"Being a Man - By Tsleevesless
Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers, and some of us don't even get that.
Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions.
..,
That actually touches on something I’ve learned, and I think a lot of men will agree.
As a rule, We don’t receive compliments. "
If you (or anyone) needs to receive compliments to feel a sense of worth, it's probably worth exploring why that is |
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff. "
This
I think that substance use has played a huge part in changing the norm, through taking away stable childhoods. Stable upbringings with support vs dv homes with neglect, Is a huge void. I thought for a long time that abuse was normal in a family. It wasn't until 18 that I experienced life in a stable family that my eyes were opened to what had happened to me. Many people don't recover from that and take that abuse into future relationships and the cycle remains  |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I’ve got a pink job for you man "
Let me finish chopping the wood first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a man means to me is pretty ok. I feel like I’m doing all at deconstructing what masculinity has traditionally meant in the culture I’ve grown up in and challenging those ideas. I am mostly pretty confident challenging those ideas amongst family and friends. I think I’d be crazy not to acknowledge my race here. Being a Black man comes with its own set of challenges and stereotypes. But I think I enjoy challenging those things. I’m soft and I’m emotional. I’m enjoying challenging these ideas with the young men and boys in my life and encouraging them to not feel held back by traditional ideas of masculinity. I think, it’s tough for men who have grown up believing these ideas of masculinity that are being challenged by society but it being tough doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen. I hope that those men are able to positively recognise that challenging those ideas of masculinity will allow men to be more free and open about who we really are as individuals. |
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By *9alMan
over a year ago
Bridgend |
its not easy being a man, many of us feel we have been a failure in one way or another, but what are the alternatives? kill yourself? painful surgery? or just get on with life & try to enjoy it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also think a huge problem is the disconnect between mostly men. Men need to challenge these ideas amongst ourselves rather than seeking it from women. We are mad because of what we think women might think of us. Because we worry about not getting sex. Because women don’t say nice things about us. But men supporting men, loving other men, giving other men the space to be who they really are without judgement, without violence and with abuse will be the biggest factor imo. The space to be emotional doesn’t have to come from women. Men need to provide it amongst ourselves. Dads need to provide it to their sons. Brothers for their brothers. Friends for their friends. That’s where it starts. I think a huge problem for men is that they blame women for this crisis or expect women to solve it for them. This is our issue. And we can support one another to be better men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a Man - By Tsleevesless
Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers, and some of us don't even get that.
Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions.
..,
That actually touches on something I’ve learned, and I think a lot of men will agree.
As a rule, We don’t receive compliments.
If you (or anyone) needs to receive compliments to feel a sense of worth, it's probably worth exploring why that is"
Okay.
That’s not my point though.  …but thanks for confirming why you do t give them out. |
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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago
Chessington/epsom |
I don't have any social media stuff and don't read any magazine's or watch reality TV shows so I basically don't care what people say about men but as long as I know I'm good to my fellow men or women I'm happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me, it's to bear responsibility. For what is up to the individual but for me it's my daughter. Her mother can't work at the moment so I provide them with a little extra money to allow them to get by a little easier. that plus it's up to me to build a nest egg for her for when she grows.
My daughter doesn't have too many men in her life either so I spend as much time with her as I can and try to be a an excellent dad and as good a role model as I can be whilst still being a guiding hand.
Juggling this plus the general life stuff, progression in work, keeping a home etc is what keeps me content.
There's a real glow of happiness when shouldering responsibly and expecting nothing in return. Bearing the weight you know you should and just quietly watching the positive effects it has ripple out into the world is my warm golden patch of sunlight I could bask in all day.
That plus I like to trap, hunt, occasionally fish, grow what food I can on the space I have and that always keeps me feeling quite blokey. I have fires, use tools a lot, tell and laugh at very 'ist' jokes with my colleagues at work, I'm quite stoic in real life, I like 4x4's and diesel engines, generally i'm a very outdated version of what a man should be and that's what works for me and a lot of the men around me. Very much a pull yourself up by the bootstraps kind of person. It works, there's a satisfaction in getting yourself up and not needing someone to help you up and kiss your boo boo better.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others. "
And destructive to all! To men and to women (and other genders) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
And destructive to all! To men and to women (and other genders)"
Exactly. Everyone suffers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2 "
This comes from other men mostly.
And the stuff you describe for women definitely comes from other women.
If we want to fix this issue as men we have to look inwards for once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2 "
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life."
If the algorithm provides people what they are looking for, isn’t it fair to assume that is how people think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2 "
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men. |
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
This comes from other men mostly.
And the stuff you describe for women definitely comes from other women.
If we want to fix this issue as men we have to look inwards for once"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men."
Toxic potentially, but untrue? In today’s society? I’m not sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men.
Toxic potentially, but untrue? In today’s society? I’m not sure "
Untrue as in that's what motivates men? |
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By *ags73Man
over a year ago
glasgow-ish |
I don’t do the motivational stuff, was recommended the men’s positivity groups after my wife died. ‘Strong men’ and things like that. Gym, meet ups hillwalking.
All well and good, but I’ve my kids to look after and I’ve not really time for gym twice a day and whole weekend activities in countryside. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men.
Toxic potentially, but untrue? In today’s society? I’m not sure
Untrue as in that's what motivates men? "
Yes, untrue about that being how men and women are. That’s just two extremes from social media. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men.
Toxic potentially, but untrue? In today’s society? I’m not sure
Untrue as in that's what motivates men? "
That, and untrue as in currently men’s value in society is based on what they can provide, how successful they are.
We can all say it isn’t, or we can pretend it’s not, but I don’t think that’s reality |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life.
If the algorithm provides people what they are looking for, isn’t it fair to assume that is how people think? "
No not at all. As I said, algorithms aren’t what people think. It’s about provocation. So it’s basically do the opposite of what people think and annoy them, to get the most responses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life.
If the algorithm provides people what they are looking for, isn’t it fair to assume that is how people think?
No not at all. As I said, algorithms aren’t what people think. It’s about provocation. So it’s basically do the opposite of what people think and annoy them, to get the most responses."
Fair enough, can’t say I agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life.
If the algorithm provides people what they are looking for, isn’t it fair to assume that is how people think?
No not at all. As I said, algorithms aren’t what people think. It’s about provocation. So it’s basically do the opposite of what people think and annoy them, to get the most responses.
Fair enough, can’t say I agree. "
Cool, well it’s my job so I definitely know what I’m talking about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
That’s just on certain corners of the internet, and it gets perpetuated by algorithms because it generates a lot of engagement due to the controversy each approach generates (rather than it being a true reflection of people’s actions or feelings). People aren’t like that in real life.
If the algorithm provides people what they are looking for, isn’t it fair to assume that is how people think?
No not at all. As I said, algorithms aren’t what people think. It’s about provocation. So it’s basically do the opposite of what people think and annoy them, to get the most responses."
That's not how the algorithms work for the social media platforms I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve always noticed a big difference in what’s considered “motivational” stuff between men and women
Men’s motivational materials consists around “get up and work.” - it’s almost an attack - “your lazy and your shit, get up and make something of yourself”
Women’s seems to be “your already perfect, don’t change” “your a 10 slay queen”.
Dunno what that means, just noticed a very different approach between the 2
Men's stuff is MUCH more aggressive isn't it? I've noticed that. I don't like the women's stuff either but the whole Gary Vee approach is really toxic for men.
Toxic potentially, but untrue? In today’s society? I’m not sure
Untrue as in that's what motivates men?
That, and untrue as in currently men’s value in society is based on what they can provide, how successful they are.
We can all say it isn’t, or we can pretend it’s not, but I don’t think that’s reality "
I agree with you. I hope my son doesn't see himself that way though. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
Men are expected in 2024 to look at the winds of change, reflect on the winds and their current course and steer away from the storm. Those that are incapable of adapting, because their combo of upbringing, environment and life-skills set to enable change, or those unwilling to change because they disagree with the storm and try to argue the storm away, are the ones that end up shipwrecked. |
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To me, it means just being a decent individual to everyone and all. As well as being honest.
The problem these days is that a lot of men, especially younger men, are influenced by individuals who promote extremely toxic masculinity or promote views on women, LGBT, money etc that are just damaging.
On top of that, as someone who’s recently recovered from mental health, the whole idea of “manning up” and carrying on without talking about it or showing emotion is horrific. Gents, it’s ok to talk. It’s ok to reach out for help.
The final part, there is an ongoing view from 0.00001% of women who say “all men are shit”, “they’re useless” etc if they haven’t got a career, money etc and yet they’re the most vocal on social media for points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
That quote was probably paid for by one of the mental health apps trying to get you into the mental health care racket. Do not worry about it, enjoy life. Life has always been hard we just pretend it is not. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
Where is the quote from? |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
I haven't read the entire thread sorry.
Interesting subject OP.
I think being a man today is very difficult whilst on one hand most of us strive to be enlighten modern men who embrace change and equality I think that many men have to repress their natural nature and are not allowed to be a masculine man's man for fear of upsetting the vocal majority.
It's odd that in a time when Trans are encouraged to be open and as "trans" as they want.
Women are also encouraged to be as feminine or not as they like "you go girl" mentality.
Yet men are now expected to shut up ,sit down, don't you dare tell me what to do or have an opinion you've repressed us for so long now it's your turn...
Lot's of lads growing up with no strong male role models.
I agree with your analogy about a caged tiger it's very accurate.
Men have feelings as well people. |
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I lean more towards, and have done for a long time, what does it mean to be a human person?
I feel like defining what being a man means,just separates us. As does being a woman, trans, non binary, etc.
Can't we all decide just what it means to be human? |
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"It’s all driven by the messages received from your various media platforms and interests.
It’s no different from being a woman in 2024.
Stop watching television and ditch all media and very quickly feel totally different.
I went through it in my early 30’s, I am compassionate about your post but it really is completely driven by what we now accept as societal norms.
Fuck it all off and simply live "
Sam, you are a wise man indeed. Exactly this. |
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"I lean more towards, and have done for a long time, what does it mean to be a human person?
I feel like defining what being a man means,just separates us. As does being a woman, trans, non binary, etc.....
And wouldn't THAT be a great start, acceptance of our own 'human-ness' next to the 'human-ness' of our fellow humans.
Can't we all decide just what it means to be human? "
Mr. |
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Being human. Compassionate, caring, understanding and just being decent.
The days of being a knuckledragging neanderthal, who has to down ten pints of lager, beat people to a pulp, and demand different things to a woman, are over |
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"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
And destructive to all! To men and to women (and other genders)
Exactly. Everyone suffers! "
I've often wondered why "we" (royal we) believe that the changing societal roles of men are causing negative issues, yet it seems to be the case that it's believed women are not negatively affected by changing societal roles. How can that be so? |
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I'm very aware that there's a growth in poor mental health among men, the younger ones especially. Until they begin to speak up the sort of quote mentioned in the op will be taken by many to be the reason. However if men are staying silent we won't know.
Personally painting men as downtrodden creatures who have their spirits broken by modern society will just prevent getting to the actual problem.
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"I lean more towards, and have done for a long time, what does it mean to be a human person?
I feel like defining what being a man means,just separates us. As does being a woman, trans, non binary, etc.....
And wouldn't THAT be a great start, acceptance of our own 'human-ness' next to the 'human-ness' of our fellow humans.
Can't we all decide just what it means to be human? Mr."
This..
Him |
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"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
And destructive to all! To men and to women (and other genders)
Exactly. Everyone suffers!
I've often wondered why "we" (royal we) believe that the changing societal roles of men are causing negative issues, yet it seems to be the case that it's believed women are not negatively affected by changing societal roles. How can that be so?"
I think it's because the narrative is that changing societal roles benefit women.
I agree there are benefits but there are also huge disadvantages |
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My definition of being a man.
Honest trustworthy reliable polite a provider and a partner sharing responsibility chivalrous when required but not in a patronising condescending way.
Sensitive and understanding,a good listener and able to give good advice when needed.
I mean really this isn't about being a man it's just being a decent human being respecting others.
But mostly knowing when to shut up  |
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"Being a man in 2024
Everything has changed as it had to men doing all that women used to do and women being the main breadwinner
 "
Utter tosh it's a shared role these days and has been for a long time. |
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"It’s all driven by the messages received from your various media platforms and interests.
It’s no different from being a woman in 2024.
Stop watching television and ditch all media and very quickly feel totally different.
I went through it in my early 30’s, I am compassionate about your post but it really is completely driven by what we now accept as societal norms.
Fuck it all off and simply live "
Couldn’t agree more with this. So true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
I relate to this completely. I feel like there is no place in this world for me. I’m not wanted. I have purpose but not in any sustainable way. I’m completely lost but I still climb the mountain in front of me, blindly |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy.
I relate to this completely. I feel like there is no place in this world for me. I’m not wanted. I have purpose but not in any sustainable way. I’m completely lost but I still climb the mountain in front of me, blindly "
Everyone has a place, everyone has a purpose, find your tribe, find yourself x |
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"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
"
I feel this is mostly an american thing.
where they women say they have unrealsitic goals for what their partner should be, often a 0.0001% man
i think it the UK we have more realsitic ideas of things like that.
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Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx |
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"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
Absolutely agree. The negative role models are so much louder these days than the positive ones. "
can you point us in the direction of influencers you believe have a positive message? |
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"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
I feel this is mostly an american thing.
where they women say they have unrealsitic goals for what their partner should be, often a 0.0001% man
i think it the UK we have more realsitic ideas of things like that.
"
Go to any high school or college in the UK and you see it....and believe me, it's rarely women influences who spout this shit and it's on the increase. The Incel movement is increasing and it's scary. Young men and teens are a prime target because they are still trying to make sense if their place and role in society |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People always talk about suicide rates for men (which are important) but nobody ever talks about the health issues, the health issues that could be prevented or at least treated earlier, but because of society and how men of a certain age were raised it often leads to death or serious illness.
People like my Dad who thought telling us about his symptoms would “burden” us, he died of cancer three years ago aged 76 or like my sisters godfather who suffered with health issues and didn’t tell anybody and when he finally did it was too late, he died last month aged 60. |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx "
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up. |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up."
Why because society says men shouldn't cry? But it's ok to cry, men should be allowed to cry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up."
This is true, which is why I keep that stuff away from partners
Save that for your close friends and your family
Every time I’ve let it out around a partner, it’s been a negative |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
This is true, which is why I keep that stuff away from partners
Save that for your close friends and your family
Every time I’ve let it out around a partner, it’s been a negative "
It's so wrong. Your partner should be supportive when you cry, it should be taken positively not negatively. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
This is true, which is why I keep that stuff away from partners
Save that for your close friends and your family
Every time I’ve let it out around a partner, it’s been a negative "
I think your partners have let you down there |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
This is true, which is why I keep that stuff away from partners
Save that for your close friends and your family
Every time I’ve let it out around a partner, it’s been a negative "
How can you have a romantic partner that you can't be 100% open with?!?! |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
Why because society says men shouldn't cry? But it's ok to cry, men should be allowed to cry. "
Because it is more often than mot used against us in a belittling, and confidence crushing way. yes because society at large says it is kor ok, you say it is. but you are not the majority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
Why because society says men shouldn't cry? But it's ok to cry, men should be allowed to cry.
Because it is more often than mot used against us in a belittling, and confidence crushing way. yes because society at large says it is kor ok, you say it is. but you are not the majority. "
That says more about the people who use it against you than it does anyone else.
I saw my Dad cry three times in my whole life, I never saw him as anything less and nor did my mom, quite the opposite actually.
If your partner are using your vulnerability against you, then they’re the problem, not being 100% open with your partner because of get of who they will view you isn’t a great basis for a long term relationship. |
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"I think men don’t know what’s expected of them anymore. It used to be as simple as provide a woman with happy life. A home. A family, you know all the wholesome old fashioned stuff.
It it’s been drilled into us over years that they don’t need us for that.
So what’s my purpose?
I’m avoiding over stretching my point from in the workplace/body image/money etc as it’s a competitive world if you fall for all that, and very very very few can be at the top of their game, or if we all were, nobody would be. "
But woody, isn't this the same for women? Couldn't you argue a woman who hasn't settled down and had a family....what is her purpose in life? I really don't think this is just a man thing. Unless you feel that men need their roles and identify with them far more than women do? |
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I can't say I've never been afraid to shown vulnerability but all those times I've been physically unable to cry or to grieve so many family losses over the years did not involve conscious thought or a voice in my head telling me to be strong.
That was just my default position from a very young age and having to become a carer when I was still a child so I became stoic and reassuring and supportive to those around me.
Yes I've bottled things up for years which wasn't healthy but even in my darkest moments I've never once considered self harm so to those saying there are only two choices, wind your neck in and give your fucked up head a wobble.
It's typical of these forums that when a question is asked about how it feels to be something regardless of what that something is, the debate always descends into a them and us argument filled with one-upmanship and whataboutery.
To be a man in 2024 is to be loved and admired by some for what you do and how you do it and despised and dismissed by others for those exact same words and actions.
If anyone is genuinely interested in my opinion rather than just waiting their opportunity to jump in with an "ah but.." response then here it is.
I have fuck all time for any individual regardless of race, creed, colour, gender or sexual preference who can't get through their day without telling others what they are doing wrong and how they should be doing it.
I have zero respect for those who invade every debate about "rights" by highlighting everyone else's "wrongs" and I refuse to listen to or engage with the one trick pony brigade on here who are only interested in hammering home their own agenda.
Grow the fuck up and talk to each other as human beings and you might find that those men and women that many on here obviously dislike so much might actually have an opinion worth listening to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can't say I've never been afraid to shown vulnerability but all those times I've been physically unable to cry or to grieve so many family losses over the years did not involve conscious thought or a voice in my head telling me to be strong.
That was just my default position from a very young age and having to become a carer when I was still a child so I became stoic and reassuring and supportive to those around me.
Yes I've bottled things up for years which wasn't healthy but even in my darkest moments I've never once considered self harm so to those saying there are only two choices, wind your neck in and give your fucked up head a wobble.
It's typical of these forums that when a question is asked about how it feels to be something regardless of what that something is, the debate always descends into a them and us argument filled with one-upmanship and whataboutery.
To be a man in 2024 is to be loved and admired by some for what you do and how you do it and despised and dismissed by others for those exact same words and actions.
If anyone is genuinely interested in my opinion rather than just waiting their opportunity to jump in with an "ah but.." response then here it is.
I have fuck all time for any individual regardless of race, creed, colour, gender or sexual preference who can't get through their day without telling others what they are doing wrong and how they should be doing it.
I have zero respect for those who invade every debate about "rights" by highlighting everyone else's "wrongs" and I refuse to listen to or engage with the one trick pony brigade on here who are only interested in hammering home their own agenda.
Grow the fuck up and talk to each other as human beings and you might find that those men and women that many on here obviously dislike so much might actually have an opinion worth listening to."
Such a great post. |
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"I can't say I've never been afraid to shown vulnerability but all those times I've been physically unable to cry or to grieve so many family losses over the years did not involve conscious thought or a voice in my head telling me to be strong.
That was just my default position from a very young age and having to become a carer when I was still a child so I became stoic and reassuring and supportive to those around me.
Yes I've bottled things up for years which wasn't healthy but even in my darkest moments I've never once considered self harm so to those saying there are only two choices, wind your neck in and give your fucked up head a wobble.
It's typical of these forums that when a question is asked about how it feels to be something regardless of what that something is, the debate always descends into a them and us argument filled with one-upmanship and whataboutery.
To be a man in 2024 is to be loved and admired by some for what you do and how you do it and despised and dismissed by others for those exact same words and actions.
If anyone is genuinely interested in my opinion rather than just waiting their opportunity to jump in with an "ah but.." response then here it is.
I have fuck all time for any individual regardless of race, creed, colour, gender or sexual preference who can't get through their day without telling others what they are doing wrong and how they should be doing it.
I have zero respect for those who invade every debate about "rights" by highlighting everyone else's "wrongs" and I refuse to listen to or engage with the one trick pony brigade on here who are only interested in hammering home their own agenda.
Grow the fuck up and talk to each other as human beings and you might find that those men and women that many on here obviously dislike so much might actually have an opinion worth listening to."
|
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
Although i agree with most of this. the irs good to cry part is not 100% true as often as not it is usef against men especially by partners when they have an issue, and in front of friends/famkly/strangers. This is a big part of the reason why men, do bottle things up.
Why because society says men shouldn't cry? But it's ok to cry, men should be allowed to cry.
Because it is more often than mot used against us in a belittling, and confidence crushing way. yes because society at large says it is kor ok, you say it is. but you are not the majority.
That says more about the people who use it against you than it does anyone else.
I saw my Dad cry three times in my whole life, I never saw him as anything less and nor did my mom, quite the opposite actually.
If your partner are using your vulnerability against you, then they’re the problem, not being 100% open with your partner because of get of who they will view you isn’t a great basis for a long term relationship. "
Its a twisted situation, at the ti.e they say its food yoj let your feeling be known, i am happy and lroud you trust me enkugh to do so.
then use it against the men when it suits them..yes it is 100% the failt of the people abusing that trust. i am not disputing that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
"
Social influencers?? Pfft
You mean the sad sacks who insist that everyone else should look up to them and try to follow their shallow and empty lifestyle?
I don't need some botox'd, collagen implanted wannabe reality tv star telling me how to live my life.
I think my own values have stood me in good stead for the last half century  |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
And destructive to all! To men and to women (and other genders)
Exactly. Everyone suffers!
I've often wondered why "we" (royal we) believe that the changing societal roles of men are causing negative issues, yet it seems to be the case that it's believed women are not negatively affected by changing societal roles. How can that be so?"
__
Maybe I misread you but it sounded like a zero sum. To me, any change is subject to impacts. Positive or negative. In societal roles there will be impacts on men, women, children, etc. both positive and negative. Nothing wrong with change, same as nothing wrong with discussing and trying to minimise the negative impacts on everyone and magnifying the positive ones. |
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I would say from my own personal view/experience as a Man is....
life is always continuously changing and adapting or moving in different directions..
sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst or in a general split in the middle depending on the outcome which would be revealed over time if it was beneficial or disastrous
I would say as the years have gone by I have gone more closed off/reserved tbh compared to how I used to be in the past...
I just threw myself into my job these past few years which despite at the times being stressful I am at peace with as I respect the industry I am in..
In my spare time I rarely go out except hitting the gym a few times a week and pushing my body to its limits...
there are hobbies which I partake at home in my spare time but outside off work/training or looking after close relatives not much else...
I Don't even take holidays as much anymore but I've started to make an effort to take a week off here and there once or twice a year? I do still meet up with family from time to time to stay in touch..
occasionally I see an old friend I used to work with to hang out but that's every other month or so
would I change some things about my life? sure I would but despite past failures it's better to learn from them and move on after all who knows what the future holds? what would I have learned with no set backs in life?
When I throw myself into work and training and my usual routine I find I have less time to think or dwell on such things as it becomes almost an obsession to stick to the routine and keep you're mind clear from bad or empty thoughts..
it's only when I slow things down a bit or have some more free time then usual or reflect on things in life that doubt or negative mindset creeps up into my mind like an uninvited stranger..
being introverted by nature sometimes I think too much but eventually I snap out of it and pick myself up and carry on as I have responsibilities to attend to in life and people to look after..
There was a time where anger was my most dominant or relatable emotion as I felt I related to it the most and it gave me a drive or ambition which becomes an obsession to overcome the odds and a set goal or that I had more off a guard up around people...
nothing else really gave me that peace off mind in the past but I realised its not always the best to be like that and is sometimes self destructive..
only problem is that Anger at times was the only thing keeping my mind clear off all sorts off other not so pleasant thoughts in my mind..
gradually over the years I learned and continue to do so to become less angry and be more observant/calculating but at the same time I felt more empty then ever at times as well.....
life is unpredictable but I guess one has to endure the odds to continue moving forward... |
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According to the samatitans males are 4 times more likely to self delete than females. It's a very sad statistic, males being put under great pressure to achieve. I think society sees males as more disposable than females. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others. "
You’re right of course but unfortunately it’s not that easy to just ignore 9000 years of male domination!
Men still rule the world through politics, business, war and religions and that does have consequences.
What’s the first question most people ask when hearing someone is pregnant or has given birth ? Maybe you’re guilty of this too without even realising ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
You’re right of course but unfortunately it’s not that easy to just ignore 9000 years of male domination!
Men still rule the world through politics, business, war and religions and that does have consequences.
What’s the first question most people ask when hearing someone is pregnant or has given birth ? Maybe you’re guilty of this too without even realising ? "
Boy or girl? Is that question the pressing issue of 2024 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
Though attitudes change if you change with them you can make the best of it. |
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"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
To me it means consciously choosing, each and every day, to be less of a dickhead than every other man.
I don't feel shrivelled or confused or numb, but then I also don't have "huge untapped energy".
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does this this mean to you ?
Work is changing, culture is changing and roles of men and women are changing.
Many men report feeling a failure, unfulfilled, suffering in silence and there is a growing mental health crisis.
I just read this quote - do you relate to it at all ?
A boys spirit begins to shrivel very early in life until he loses touch with it completely. By the time he becomes a man he is like a tiger raised in a zoo - confused and numb with huge untapped energy."
I could really go into this deeply, but only if you want to hear. It's probably quite controversial too, but I feel it makes total sense.
Simple answer though, it's surprising how easily people of both genders can be secretly influenced to change who they are and how they act and what their relationship to one another is, by certain external things. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
You’re right of course but unfortunately it’s not that easy to just ignore 9000 years of male domination!
Men still rule the world through politics, business, war and religions and that does have consequences.
What’s the first question most people ask when hearing someone is pregnant or has given birth ? Maybe you’re guilty of this too without even realising ?
Boy or girl? Is that question the pressing issue of 2024 "
Exactly. As much as modern culture teaches gender is irrelevant & other than the obvious there is no difference anymore between men & women, it’s still the the first thing most people ask. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx "
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it."
This is true.
It needs to be normalised, I think it would help. |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it."
I don't go to the pub or stag nights and until 6 years ago when I met my best male friend through a fab hiking group neither of us had another man in our lives that we could discuss mental health or other personal issues with.
Despite the general consensus that men spend their time discussing women and sex I can honestly say I've never once had a conversation with a friend or colleague about either and as such there was even less chance of discussing my mental health. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"What does this this mean to you ?
"
It means just being me, because I'm a man.
I don't need anyone else to define/dictate what I should do, how I should behave or how I should interact with others.
Because that shouldn't be dependant on my gender.
Be nice. Don't be a dick. Respect others. That's pretty much it whether you have tits or testicles or both.
|
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it.
I don't go to the pub or stag nights and until 6 years ago when I met my best male friend through a fab hiking group neither of us had another man in our lives that we could discuss mental health or other personal issues with.
Despite the general consensus that men spend their time discussing women and sex I can honestly say I've never once had a conversation with a friend or colleague about either and as such there was even less chance of discussing my mental health. "
Hiking is a perfect setting. One of the main reasons I hike & Wildcamp is for the conversations. I don’t actually care too much where we go anymore |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it."
It doesn't have to be just a male that they talk to, it can be with a woman too. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
You’re right of course but unfortunately it’s not that easy to just ignore 9000 years of male domination!
Men still rule the world through politics, business, war and religions and that does have consequences.
What’s the first question most people ask when hearing someone is pregnant or has given birth ? Maybe you’re guilty of this too without even realising ?
Boy or girl? Is that question the pressing issue of 2024
Exactly. As much as modern culture teaches gender is irrelevant & other than the obvious there is no difference anymore between men & women, it’s still the the first thing most people ask."
That’s such a weird mindset to take
Clearly it’s the most prominent thing you’ll ask
You can’t ask what colour eyes they have or what their favourite colour is |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it.
It doesn't have to be just a male that they talk to, it can be with a woman too. Xx"
I'll have to disagree with this.
I didn't have any male role models most of my life and was surrounded by women.
I was able to talk to some of those when I was having difficulty but I can honestly say it was only when I was able to talk to another man who had a lot in common with me in regard to age and experience that I was able to truly understand my own issues.
None of the women I spoke to over the years could give me the answers I needed so I was just going around in circles.
Another man who had walked in similar shoes to my own had all the answers just as I had some for him. |
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"Men need to talk more, don't bottle everything in, it's not good for your mental health. Don't be afraid to talk to someone! Even if you can't talk to a friend or a family member, contact the Samaritans and talk to them, get it off your chest. It's also good to cry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's ok to not be ok. Xx
How many men do you know that have the kind of male friendships and the time for them that many women have? To regularly share the joys & problems of life over a coffee or just pick up the phone for a matter ?
Many men I know go to pub, stag nights, play sport/gym but it’s much rarer for them to just hang out & talk over a coffee. Some do of course, but more in settings where it’s encouraged & they’ve come to realise how vital it is to be accountable to each other. Women just naturally do it.
It doesn't have to be just a male that they talk to, it can be with a woman too. Xx
I'll have to disagree with this.
I didn't have any male role models most of my life and was surrounded by women.
I was able to talk to some of those when I was having difficulty but I can honestly say it was only when I was able to talk to another man who had a lot in common with me in regard to age and experience that I was able to truly understand my own issues.
None of the women I spoke to over the years could give me the answers I needed so I was just going around in circles.
Another man who had walked in similar shoes to my own had all the answers just as I had some for him. "
I see, I get you now! Never thought about that tbh. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Masculinity has long been one of the most destructive social constructs.
Be hard, don’t cry, provide for your family. Don’t show weakness. Anger is masculine. Be successful. Make people fear you.
Fuck that.
Be human. Be decent. Be you. Stop looking at social media. Stop comparing yourself to others who have had different life opportunities and choices than you. Be accountable. Stop blaming others.
You’re right of course but unfortunately it’s not that easy to just ignore 9000 years of male domination!
Men still rule the world through politics, business, war and religions and that does have consequences.
What’s the first question most people ask when hearing someone is pregnant or has given birth ? Maybe you’re guilty of this too without even realising ?
Boy or girl? Is that question the pressing issue of 2024
Exactly. As much as modern culture teaches gender is irrelevant & other than the obvious there is no difference anymore between men & women, it’s still the the first thing most people ask.
That’s such a weird mindset to take
Clearly it’s the most prominent thing you’ll ask
You can’t ask what colour eyes they have or what their favourite colour is "
Clearly ? Why?
A wierd mindset is being conditioned and not even realising |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Many here seem to be saying there’s no difference between men and women anymore other than the obvious physical. Gender is Irrelevant in 2024, or it’s self-determined by the individual later , so why is asking the gender of a newborn (or unborn) the first thing almost everyone asks ? You ask because it’s significant. It determines so much in life. |
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"Many here seem to be saying there’s no difference between men and women anymore other than the obvious physical. Gender is Irrelevant in 2024, or it’s self-determined by the individual later , so why is asking the gender of a newborn (or unborn) the first thing almost everyone asks ? You ask because it’s significant. It determines so much in life."
Lots of us don't find out the apparent gender of our unborn children. Lots of us a) don't care about it and b) actively don't want to know.
I will say that lots of people were surprised we wouldn't ask any gender related questions to the ultrasound people but later said that they found it kinda refreshing. Some seemed baffled about how we'd decorate the baby's room or buy clothes. We thought it was rather obvious, but there we are.
Neither child has suffered catastrophic outcomes from their green or yellow-y bedroom (and spent most of the first year in our room anyway), nor acquired any sort of issue from wearing clothing from all the colours of the rainbow. But apparently, you're not meant to dress a baby girl in a black Batman baby gro. Who knew?! |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Many here seem to be saying there’s no difference between men and women anymore other than the obvious physical. Gender is Irrelevant in 2024, or it’s self-determined by the individual later , so why is asking the gender of a newborn (or unborn) the first thing almost everyone asks ? You ask because it’s significant. It determines so much in life.
Lots of us don't find out the apparent gender of our unborn children. Lots of us a) don't care about it and b) actively don't want to know.
I will say that lots of people were surprised we wouldn't ask any gender related questions to the ultrasound people but later said that they found it kinda refreshing. Some seemed baffled about how we'd decorate the baby's room or buy clothes. We thought it was rather obvious, but there we are.
Neither child has suffered catastrophic outcomes from their green or yellow-y bedroom (and spent most of the first year in our room anyway), nor acquired any sort of issue from wearing clothing from all the colours of the rainbow. But apparently, you're not meant to dress a baby girl in a black Batman baby gro. Who knew?! "
That’s really good but very rare. Most people still dress their kids as society dictates, split into two distinct categories. And choose toys the same way. Most parents encourage male & female pronouns and relate to thier kids differently. Most shops still organise clothes and gifts this way and school typically force them into 2 distinct types of uniforms. By the time they get to school and mix with other kids your hard work will likely be mostly undone !
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I would hate to be growing up now as a man. When I was younger men respected women and women didn’t see that as treating them as less than equals (several of my bosses were women in the 80’s). Now you don’t know whether to offer women a seat on a train or hold open a door for them to go in front of you in case they are offended. You do not feel able to complement a woman now in case you are seen as a misogynist. That isn’t about equality that is about loss of respect.
I think women feel less safe now, and can’t help feeling this is because men are now confused as to their role in the world. What started of as sexual equality and not discriminating due to gender has possibly gone too far. Or maybe I am just sounding like my parents |
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By *orthernJayMan
over a year ago
DXB / SG / Thailand Krabi |
I don’t think you sound parental, agree with each point you referenced!
I still hold doors open, give up seats and pass a compliment when it feels right in my head to do so; if the recipient feels offended then that’s on them!
I’ve always thought, what would my grandmother say if she knew and how would I want men to treat my daughters; it’s never sent me down the road pathway!
Agree re growing up nowadays, no matter your sex or sexuality; the world is upside down, no matter your vantage point!
Trump has triumphed again overnight and anyone who thinks he’s not a misogynistic narcissist needs a head wobble; there’s nothing more to say re manhood if he’s a role model! |
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I think it all depends if someone is easily offended by things others say to them.yeah ,there is all this online garbage from people telling you how you should feel ,how you should show your feminine side ,but that's just saddos who make videos hoping for clicks and likes .
I'm from an older generation and grew up before all these "influencers ",and all the rest of that bollox were invented . I think us oldies were brought up to be thick skinned and just crack on . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it all depends if someone is easily offended by things others say to them.yeah ,there is all this online garbage from people telling you how you should feel ,how you should show your feminine side ,but that's just saddos who make videos hoping for clicks and likes .
I'm from an older generation and grew up before all these "influencers ",and all the rest of that bollox were invented . I think us oldies were brought up to be thick skinned and just crack on ."
And that attitude is precisely why the male suicide rate is so high  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Many here seem to be saying there’s no difference between men and women anymore other than the obvious physical. Gender is Irrelevant in 2024, or it’s self-determined by the individual later , so why is asking the gender of a newborn (or unborn) the first thing almost everyone asks ? You ask because it’s significant. It determines so much in life."
People ask. But is that motivated by an agenda or just because they're curious?
And how significant is it these days and what does it actually determine? Babies don't give a shit what colour balloons you may want to pop, what shade their bedroom wall is, or what clothes they're dressed in.
I'm honestly curious as to what people think is pre-ordained these days just because someone is born a particular gender. Does is really determine much these days or actually very little?  |
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"I think it all depends if someone is easily offended by things others say to them.yeah ,there is all this online garbage from people telling you how you should feel ,how you should show your feminine side ,but that's just saddos who make videos hoping for clicks and likes .
I'm from an older generation and grew up before all these "influencers ",and all the rest of that bollox were invented . I think us oldies were brought up to be thick skinned and just crack on ."
This oldie is several years older than you and whilst I might ponder on some of what's popular such as influencers etc I would strongly disagree with the rest of what you've put.. |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there"
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing."
Maybe just ignore it, be thick skinned and crack on as you say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Maybe just ignore it, be thick skinned and crack on as you say. "
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing."
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah there’s a strange pressure to change or to conform to what now seems the norm.
I think I’m lucky being the age I am and having the mind to choose to conform or to stay unchanged.
I work in a physical role and always have done. My mental health is good, and I’m always around for my friends to come talk to.
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I don't agree with the belief that gender is irrelevant in modern society.
If that was true why are gender reveal parties such a big thing?
The comments above about men not knowing how to react in certain situations is very relevant though.
I have always opened doors to others regardless of gender and given up seats to the older generation, again without any thought of whether they were men or women.
I continue to do it despite the level of abuse I have received over the years from women for doing so.
I've been called a pig, a prick and an arsehole and on 2 occasions pushed through doors by angry women saying they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
I also opened a door in the States once for a middle aged couple who were both in wheelchairs and got a mouthful of abuse and asked if my mother was proud of the arrogant prick she had raised?
My grandsons open doors for people now and I'm proud of them for doing so but I wouldn't blame them for not doing so if their motives for doing so were challenged. |
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"I don't agree with the belief that gender is irrelevant in modern society.
If that was true why are gender reveal parties such a big thing?
The comments above about men not knowing how to react in certain situations is very relevant though.
I have always opened doors to others regardless of gender and given up seats to the older generation, again without any thought of whether they were men or women.
I continue to do it despite the level of abuse I have received over the years from women for doing so.
I've been called a pig, a prick and an arsehole and on 2 occasions pushed through doors by angry women saying they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
I also opened a door in the States once for a middle aged couple who were both in wheelchairs and got a mouthful of abuse and asked if my mother was proud of the arrogant prick she had raised?
My grandsons open doors for people now and I'm proud of them for doing so but I wouldn't blame them for not doing so if their motives for doing so were challenged."
And yet if you hadn't have opened the doors for them you'd have got abuse for being rude ... I truly despair of "society" these days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't agree with the belief that gender is irrelevant in modern society.
If that was true why are gender reveal parties such a big thing?
The comments above about men not knowing how to react in certain situations is very relevant though.
I have always opened doors to others regardless of gender and given up seats to the older generation, again without any thought of whether they were men or women.
I continue to do it despite the level of abuse I have received over the years from women for doing so.
I've been called a pig, a prick and an arsehole and on 2 occasions pushed through doors by angry women saying they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
I also opened a door in the States once for a middle aged couple who were both in wheelchairs and got a mouthful of abuse and asked if my mother was proud of the arrogant prick she had raised?
My grandsons open doors for people now and I'm proud of them for doing so but I wouldn't blame them for not doing so if their motives for doing so were challenged.
And yet if you hadn't have opened the doors for them you'd have got abuse for being rude ... I truly despair of "society" these days"
I’m convinced “society” with a big S doesn’t really exist anymore, replaced by compromises between self interests. One reason I guess why everyone is looking for community, to find ‘their people’. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
I have always opened doors to others regardless of gender and given up seats to the older generation, again without any thought of whether they were men or women.
I continue to do it despite the level of abuse I have received over the years from women for doing so.
I've been called a pig, a prick and an arsehole and on 2 occasions pushed through doors by angry women saying they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
I also opened a door in the States once for a middle aged couple who were both in wheelchairs and got a mouthful of abuse and asked if my mother was proud of the arrogant prick she had raised?
My grandsons open doors for people now and I'm proud of them for doing so but I wouldn't blame them for not doing so if their motives for doing so were challenged."
Abuse is never acceptable.
But out of interest.....if you added up the number of times you'd had abuse vs the number of doors held open or seats you've given up.......would it actually be a high percentage?
Some people are just ungrateful dicks, regardless of gender. Some people have a chip on their shoulder, regardless of gender. Some people are just abusive, regardless of gender.
The two aren't always linked and the cause isn't always down to whether they have tits or testicles, or both. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing."
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Maybe just ignore it, be thick skinned and crack on as you say. "
I do ,just laugh at it when I see it ,but young kids need protecting from this brainwashing. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience"
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you. "
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
|
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
"
How young? Mine weren’t allowed the social media stuff anyway when they were that young |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
"
Nope. Information isn't dangerous. Education isn't dangerous. Freedom of choice isn't dangerous.
What is dangerous is 'brainwashing' kids and young adults that being different in any way, shape or form is wrong, in some way 'immoral', 'evil', or that they can't make their own life decisions. Which is just as, if not more prevalent in society than the type of 'brainwashing' you're focussing on.
Nobody is forcing any 'non traditional' views down people's throats. You don't have to agree with the choices of others when they differ from your own, just respect them. Their decisions don't affect you in any way. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
"
How is it poisoning their minds? What is it about that message that makes it so dangerous?
Is it because it’s teaching them something other than what you feel you understand? Because it’s teaching them love, acceptance and respect? Because it’s teaching them to be open to learning and listening to lived experiences?
The only poisonous thing that I can see here is your ignorance |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience"
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
"
That’s a whole can of worms the liberal left isn’t ready to discuss yet
Best to just treat your kids the best you can, with love and compassion and understanding. Tackle any hurdles as they appear |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ? "
Instead she’s stripping their innocence by teaching them to distrust and be ignorant of others. The only thing they’re be force fed is the fear of your family |
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"
I have always opened doors to others regardless of gender and given up seats to the older generation, again without any thought of whether they were men or women.
I continue to do it despite the level of abuse I have received over the years from women for doing so.
I've been called a pig, a prick and an arsehole and on 2 occasions pushed through doors by angry women saying they were more than capable of doing it themselves.
I also opened a door in the States once for a middle aged couple who were both in wheelchairs and got a mouthful of abuse and asked if my mother was proud of the arrogant prick she had raised?
My grandsons open doors for people now and I'm proud of them for doing so but I wouldn't blame them for not doing so if their motives for doing so were challenged.
Abuse is never acceptable.
But out of interest.....if you added up the number of times you'd had abuse vs the number of doors held open or seats you've given up.......would it actually be a high percentage?
Some people are just ungrateful dicks, regardless of gender. Some people have a chip on their shoulder, regardless of gender. Some people are just abusive, regardless of gender.
The two aren't always linked and the cause isn't always down to whether they have tits or testicles, or both."
I agree completely and no it would only be a small percentage overall.
In regards to the couple in the wheelchairs they were both equally nasty.
I have heard and read of similar experiences that other men have had but strangely have never once seen a comment here or elsewhere from a woman getting abuse for holding a door open.
Looking back on the two occasions I was pushed through the door by the women I often wonder what the reaction would have been if the roles were reversed.
They were angry because they felt I had an ulterior motive.
They voiced that anger quite loudly.
However they also laid hands on me and physically pushed me. I couldn't do that to a woman without consequences. |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ? "
5 and 7? Don’t let them on the internet then if she doesn’t like it. Has anyone really gone up to kids that age and said hey guess what there’s 30 different genders.  |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
That’s a whole can of worms the liberal left isn’t ready to discuss yet
Best to just treat your kids the best you can, with love and compassion and understanding. Tackle any hurdles as they appear "
And that's exactly what my daughter does . She Shields them from dangers of the people who think it's OK to poison children's minds . |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ?
Instead she’s stripping their innocence by teaching them to distrust and be ignorant of others. The only thing they’re be force fed is the fear of your family"
It's called letting children grow up being children , and not force feeding them,or exposing them to things children shouldn't ever have to hear about. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ?
Instead she’s stripping their innocence by teaching them to distrust and be ignorant of others. The only thing they’re be force fed is the fear of your family
It's called letting children grow up being children , and not force feeding them,or exposing them to things children shouldn't ever have to hear about. "
Children aren’t born with hate, they learn that from their parents. You’re not protecting them from anything, you’re force feeding them hate.
What is so terrible about them learning about other genders? |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ? "
Children of that age are not taught about gender identity at those ages. I have 3 kids a couple of years old and non of them have been thought anything about gender at primary school so your trying to create (see totally make up) an issue that doesn't even exist to justify your own ignorance and hatred on the subject. And before you try to say they do in your area, I am from the same area, they do not and it is not included in SCC's curriculum notes. It seem's to me you've spent too much time on gammon filled facebook pages and have totally forgot to take the actual truth in to account. |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
Brainwashing?
Sure. There are extreme examples out there. But there's also a lot of help for those that have previously had none in coming to terms with their identities, sexuality and who need access to information and support.
What's equally dangerous is denying access to support for those coming out as gay/bi/queer/NB and telling them 'it's just a phase' or a reaction to something they've seen online. Pushing traditional gender based agendas and expecting kids to conform to traditional, societal norms is as damaging and unhealthy as what you'd probably consider extreme content from more diverse sections of society.
What you consider 'pollution' many will consider freedom of choice and expression. You don't get to choose for anyone else. Just support any decisions they make themselves and be there when they need you.
So you don't think young kids,young innocent children , being exposed to stuff that tells them there are dozens of genders isn't dangerous and poisoning their minds ?
That’s a whole can of worms the liberal left isn’t ready to discuss yet
Best to just treat your kids the best you can, with love and compassion and understanding. Tackle any hurdles as they appear
And that's exactly what my daughter does . She Shields them from dangers of the people who think it's OK to poison children's minds ."
Like who? I think you really are being a bit over dramatic here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Interesting but ……… fuck the expectations fuck what people think, in my own man, I am my version of man, I will live my life my way and stuff “what’s expected”, all those who expect a certain way of life can literally fuck off. This short life is mine and will be lived my way. Perhaps if the men of today ignored “what’s expected” ignored (or completely stay away) social media, ignore the influencers (was called an advert in my day) and just lived there life’s maybe we wouldn’t have a mental health crisis. After all we all look and behave different because we are different, each and everyone is a individual and this should be celebrated not diluted doing what everyone else does |
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"It means there is no such thing anymore as blue and pink jobs around the house.
I don't think parents need to be stronger though and not give children mobile phones and constant access to the Web. For too much negative exposure out there
I totally agree about young kids and mobile phones /Internet access .My daughter is very strict with my two granddaughters on this .She dosnt want them having their minds polluted, and risk them being brainwashed by people on social media telling them there are 30 odd genders and 300 odd "pronouns". Children should be kept safe from this dangerous brainwashing .
The Internet is a dangerous place for children .we have all seen the videos that pop up on twitter of soneone having a meltdown because soneone called them Sir ,or Miss instead of him/her (whatever that's supposed to mean )
We must protect children from this brainwashing.
When you say that we must protect children from this brainwashing, you mean what your daughter’s doing, right? Because what she is doing is brainwashing your grandchildren into disrespecting others, invalidating their peers and ignoring someone’s lived experience
She is bringing them up to just be innocent children ,growing up in a family unit , protected from minorities online who are trying to convince them that it's OK to identify as something they are not ,and we're not born as .
.
My granddaughters are 5 and 7 years old ,they should not be having people telling them there are 30 genders FFS . They are innocent children . Our children are being poisoned by government policy ,by schools and by social media .
Do you think 5 and 7 year old children should be force-fed this crap ? "
Devil's advocate here.... you can shield them all you want but what happens even after no exposure to this 'poison' as you put it, one day that child comes to you confused about their sexuality/gender etc.... because there a chance it will....
FYI social media helped my daughters come to terms with their sexuality and understand that its perfectly acceptable to love who you love and be attracted to who you're attracted to!
Tinder |
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It's probably a bit old fashioned but 'If' by Rudyard Kipling is a good place to start.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found this a genuinely useful and insightful thread about men talking about themselves. Any chance it could go back to that rather than gender wars derailing it? |
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"I found this a genuinely useful and insightful thread about men talking about themselves. Any chance it could go back to that rather than gender wars derailing it? "
It's a shame, isn't it? It seems that, for some people, being a man in 2024 is still deeply entangled in fear and hatred. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I found this a genuinely useful and insightful thread about men talking about themselves. Any chance it could go back to that rather than gender wars derailing it?
It's a shame, isn't it? It seems that, for some people, being a man in 2024 is still deeply entangled in fear and hatred."
The two subjects aren't mutually exclusive and are actually very closely linked.
Speaking as a man.........
Many of the apparent 'issues' some men feel and face are linked to an inability to recognise that old fashioned notions of masculinity and traditional views on 'what makes a man' are actually quite damaging and negative.
The expectancy of some that they have to fit in to a certain way of life, adopt attitudes, characteristics and mannerisms almost from birth is a major part of the problem. Lose those expectancies and it's actually a lot easier for men to just be themselves and not try to conform to anyone else's perceptions of who they should be. |
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"Many here seem to be saying there’s no difference between men and women anymore other than the obvious physical. Gender is Irrelevant in 2024, or it’s self-determined by the individual later , so why is asking the gender of a newborn (or unborn) the first thing almost everyone asks ? You ask because it’s significant. It determines so much in life.
Lots of us don't find out the apparent gender of our unborn children. Lots of us a) don't care about it and b) actively don't want to know.
I will say that lots of people were surprised we wouldn't ask any gender related questions to the ultrasound people but later said that they found it kinda refreshing. Some seemed baffled about how we'd decorate the baby's room or buy clothes. We thought it was rather obvious, but there we are.
Neither child has suffered catastrophic outcomes from their green or yellow-y bedroom (and spent most of the first year in our room anyway), nor acquired any sort of issue from wearing clothing from all the colours of the rainbow. But apparently, you're not meant to dress a baby girl in a black Batman baby gro. Who knew?!
That’s really good but very rare. Most people still dress their kids as society dictates, split into two distinct categories. And choose toys the same way. Most parents encourage male & female pronouns and relate to thier kids differently. Most shops still organise clothes and gifts this way and school typically force them into 2 distinct types of uniforms. By the time they get to school and mix with other kids your hard work will likely be mostly undone !
"
Yeah, it's been undone and honestly, it really grates at me. I don't want my daughter to think her value rests on her appearance, not do I want my son to think his value rests on being some kind of modern hunter-gatherer type thing.
I hate clothes shops with separate boys and girls sections. Our daughter is currently wearing "boys" school shoes because they are way more practical for winter. The "girls" ones have open space at the top of the foot and are terribly designed for foot health and I refuse to buy them. She's now noticing that she has different shoes to her friends, for example. It's very, very annoying. |
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"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
"
Social media is the worst thing to ever happen to mankind in my view |
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"I think influencers on social media are telling men they're failures because they aren't rich and powerful, and they believe it.
Social media is the worst thing to ever happen to mankind in my view "
Rather ironic typing that on a Forum on a sort of social media site |
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