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Not checking the dimensions first
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So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first  |
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"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first "
So often! You’d think I’d learn!!
But the thing to do is divide a cheesecake in two and consider pairing it with a nice passion fruit jus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first "
The time it takes to put your affairs in order, and bid a tearful farewell to all your loved ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm intrigued 
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard "
Thank you!
I think you should lube and brave it 
I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.
Miss S x |
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"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard
Thank you!
I think you should lube and brave it
I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.
Miss S x"
Oh, the reasonably sized ones have been amazing. I throw so much money at these creators it's unreal.
But this may actually be worse than the 16 inch depth trainer for intimidation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard
Thank you!
I think you should lube and brave it
I'm intrigued as to how those ones feel, I've never tried one.
Miss S x
Oh, the reasonably sized ones have been amazing. I throw so much money at these creators it's unreal.
But this may actually be worse than the 16 inch depth trainer for intimidation "
Oh really. This does intrigue me, I may have to invest!
Oh blimey, eye watering 
Miss S x |
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"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard "
Well. I usually say if something is overwhelming do it in little stages…
I don’t know where to even begin with that.
Good luck
It does look awesome though (if the same size as my arm ) |
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"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard
Well. I usually say if something is overwhelming do it in little stages…
I don’t know where to even begin with that.
Good luck
It does look awesome though (if the same size as my arm )"
I can't even close my hand around the damn head!
I'm a 6ft girl with big old hands. This should not be an issue goddamnit! |
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By *ullyMan
over a year ago
Near Clacton |
So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first
Take it slow and inch at a time, slow and steady. |
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"Maybe just get to know each other first, have a little candle lit chat and a glass of wine. "
I'd say a few glasses of wine, and if possible a smoke of something relaxing! Oh and lots of deep breaths! Good luck! |
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Order the extra lube, get one of those pull up bars you fit into the top of the door frame then drink a bottle of wine or two. Swing yourself on the bar until you've got enough hight for a summersault and aim for that monster!
If you miss, hopefully you've had enough wine to laugh at your spectacular fall, if you get it right you'll have an amazing story to tell everyone at A&E!  |
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"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first "
I thought you was talking about buying a sofa online at first |
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By *ilBWoman
over a year ago
West Midlands |
"So. You saw something super cool for an awesome price. You made the impulse purchase. A few days later you get the package.
And it's just too big.
Too too big.
Absurd. Borderline unethical.
How long is a reasonable amount of time to psyche yourself up to attempting the gigantic bastard?
Although I may have to order more lube first "
Reading this made my night, thank you  |
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"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard
Hoooooly smokes, that dragon looks pretty bad.
I guess slow and steady wins the race... good luck!  "
Why does everyone assume it's a Dragon  |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
"I'm intrigued
Miss S x
I posted a video of the unethical bastard
Hoooooly smokes, that dragon looks pretty bad.
I guess slow and steady wins the race... good luck!
Why does everyone assume it's a Dragon "
I guess because it looks like a bad dragon, and I'm not so familiar with other types. |
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"Prey....I love you....but what the hell made you order that monster thing...it looks evil lol x"
Um. It was on special with it being one of the last Christmas ones in stock, and there was an inventory sale for an extra 30%. And I had a discount code on top.
And now they won't be making any more until at least next Christmas, if they bring it back at all. I was hoping to get another Splicer at Halloween but they had a new model instead this year  |
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"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"
J
I don't think I fits "
Don’t start with a negative attitude…. I’m sure you’ll have fun regardless |
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"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"
J
I don't think I fits "
I have been sat here with a tape measure, looking at it thoughtfully, and comparing with multiples of B's fingers. The one I thought looked interesting was in inventory in both 'small size, medium firmness' and 'medium size, soft firmness'. I have gone small and hope this is the right decision.
J
J |
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"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"
J
I don't think I fits
I have been sat here with a tape measure, looking at it thoughtfully, and comparing with multiples of B's fingers. The one I thought looked interesting was in inventory in both 'small size, medium firmness' and 'medium size, soft firmness'. I have gone small and hope this is the right decision.
J
J"
I usually go for the small sizes, but this one was on a mega discount in leftover Christmas inventory, and they won't be making any more until next Christmas season, if they make this one again at all. I was gutted they had a new Halloween model this year so I couldn't get another Splicer from Halloween 2022 |
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"Your week in three words post made me think of those cats of instagram type posts. "If I fits, I sits"
J
I don't think I fits
I have been sat here with a tape measure, looking at it thoughtfully, and comparing with multiples of B's fingers. The one I thought looked interesting was in inventory in both 'small size, medium firmness' and 'medium size, soft firmness'. I have gone small and hope this is the right decision.
J
I usually go for the small sizes, but this one was on a mega discount in leftover Christmas inventory, and they won't be making any more until next Christmas season, if they make this one again at all. I was gutted they had a new Halloween model this year so I couldn't get another Splicer from Halloween 2022 "
Someone else I know got the Fenyx in medium yesterday and it's huge, but intriguing. I went for Lenea (not the depth one) and because it was inventory I managed to get rainbow pride colours for a bargain
J |
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"Someone else I know got the Fenyx in medium yesterday and it's huge, but intriguing. I went for Lenea (not the depth one) and because it was inventory I managed to get rainbow pride colours for a bargain
J"
My Fenyx is a medium. I think I assumed with the double shaft it'd be more reasonable on size.
I was wrong.
I have a friend with a trophy Dovah and a large depth trainer. That boy is a level of size queen I will never be able to achieve |
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