… bragging.
This is probably yet another example of two countries separated by a common language.
So in the states, it’s just fine to say you’re good at something.
Over here, self deprecation rules the day, though. And is usually a humble brag, thinly disguised.
Anyone have an opinion on WHY Brits generally don’t just come out and say “yes, I can do that thing very well.”
Is it not socially acceptable?
Is it because you were raised in a monarchy? With aristocrats? Is it a “know your place” sort of thing?
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
Because it comes across as being arrogant, Americans and i love this about them applaud achievement and big up that person or team but unfortunately the British don't have that big up thing initially maybe then after a short gestation period thats gone and replaced by under achievement, i however am confident in my own skin and don't put myself down i may not live up to what somebody else expects of me but their loss  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
If it makes you feel any better, if I met an American who was bigging themselves up, I'd think them just as much a knobhead as a Brit doing the same and WOULDN'T offer them a jelly baby  |
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Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK) |
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"That's not a humblebrag. A humblebrag is a deliberate "I'm better than you" disguised as a "woe is me"
J"
Okay, no bullshit, can you give me an example of what that would look like? That seems advanced.
(Also I’m neurodivergent so it’s even harder for me to pick up on these things. Mea culpa in advance.) |
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"That's not a humblebrag. A humblebrag is a deliberate "I'm better than you" disguised as a "woe is me"
J
Okay, no bullshit, can you give me an example of what that would look like? That seems advanced.
(Also I’m neurodivergent so it’s even harder for me to pick up on these things. Mea culpa in advance.)"
"oh man, today's session at the gym really sucked. I only did (insert something incredible here). I need to work harder. I'm such a lazy arse" |
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"Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK)"
The tall poppy part makes sense.
But doesn’t it default to not recognising when you are actually good at something? |
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Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr |
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"That's not a humblebrag. A humblebrag is a deliberate "I'm better than you" disguised as a "woe is me"
J
Okay, no bullshit, can you give me an example of what that would look like? That seems advanced.
(Also I’m neurodivergent so it’s even harder for me to pick up on these things. Mea culpa in advance.)
"oh man, today's session at the gym really sucked. I only did (insert something incredible here). I need to work harder. I'm such a lazy arse""
Oh. Okay. Got it.
That’s obnoxious! |
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"Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK)
The tall poppy part makes sense.
But doesn’t it default to not recognising when you are actually good at something? "
Yeah, it's a risk, and it's something I do suffer with.
People who are less neurodivergent/ otherwise brain chemistry spicy than me can sort of... know their worth and not say it out loud.
(Not quite the same, but I can know I had amazing sex last night and not tell anyone at work. It doesn't diminish what I know)
There is, of course, the nuance when other people say it to you. I think (having to translate two cultures via my own, hold my beer) that it means that American "oh wow great job!" in an excited tone might translate to British nonchalant "hmm. Not bad".
(I wish people would be straightforward because autism, but also the American norm is not ok with me either. haha) |
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"I'm not a Brit and we Irish excel at not being Brits.
Until we win something and Sky Sports adopt us as British. Just be proud of not being British "
… well here’s the thing, Fred.
Although. I’m not, never will be, and am pretty sure I’m incapable of being culturally British. I didn’t move here till I was 30. |
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"I'm not a Brit and we Irish excel at not being Brits.
Until we win something and Sky Sports adopt us as British. Just be proud of not being British
… well here’s the thing, Fred.
Although. I’m not, never will be, and am pretty sure I’m incapable of being culturally British. I didn’t move here till I was 30. "
I moved here when I was 23 and occasionally I'll get people telling me I'm British really.
nope. you lot kicked my ancestors out  |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr "
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities. |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities."
Well of course you’d wank yourself off in an interview situation, but that’s all bullshit, exaggerated to make you sound better than you are to secure the position you so desperately desire.
The mr |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I'm not a Brit and we Irish excel at not being Brits.
Until we win something and Sky Sports adopt us as British. Just be proud of not being British
… well here’s the thing, Fred.
Although. I’m not, never will be, and am pretty sure I’m incapable of being culturally British. I didn’t move here till I was 30. "
well their must be something you love about it you've been here 17 years, London is very cosmopolitan mind its the best city to live in, you don't need to drive, always something to do and a really diverse population that generally stays in their little groups |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities."
I couldn't tell you where because I saw it in passing sometime in the last however many years, but I have seen articles out there that deal with specifically this phenomenon. How to deal with different self-evaluation in American and British hiring.
My brain is a junk drawer of useless information (British/ Australian, potential humblebrag) and/ or I remember a lot of things that are sometimes useful (as close as I can stomach to American over enthusiasm) |
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"Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK)
The tall poppy part makes sense.
But doesn’t it default to not recognising when you are actually good at something?
Yeah, it's a risk, and it's something I do suffer with.
People who are less neurodivergent/ otherwise brain chemistry spicy than me can sort of... know their worth and not say it out loud.
(Not quite the same, but I can know I had amazing sex last night and not tell anyone at work. It doesn't diminish what I know)
There is, of course, the nuance when other people say it to you. I think (having to translate two cultures via my own, hold my beer) that it means that American "oh wow great job!" in an excited tone might translate to British nonchalant "hmm. Not bad".
(I wish people would be straightforward because autism, but also the American norm is not ok with me either. haha) "
What would be your preference if you could have the norms be any way you wanted them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m good at loads of stuff. … nobody ever asks. 
awww what you good at Woody?
Loads of stuff 
Cupcakes.
And making special sparkly goth icing  "
You were a lucky lady that day.  |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities.
Well of course you’d wank yourself off in an interview situation, but that’s all bullshit, exaggerated to make you sound better than you are to secure the position you so desperately desire.
The mr "
*sobs in ND*
I’m not joking. This kind of thing baffles me. |
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"I'm not a Brit and we Irish excel at not being Brits.
Until we win something and Sky Sports adopt us as British. Just be proud of not being British
… well here’s the thing, Fred.
Although. I’m not, never will be, and am pretty sure I’m incapable of being culturally British. I didn’t move here till I was 30. well their must be something you love about it you've been here 17 years, London is very cosmopolitan mind its the best city to live in, you don't need to drive, always something to do and a really diverse population that generally stays in their little groups "
Or maybe I’m just hopelessly, irretrievably lost |
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"Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK)
The tall poppy part makes sense.
But doesn’t it default to not recognising when you are actually good at something?
Yeah, it's a risk, and it's something I do suffer with.
People who are less neurodivergent/ otherwise brain chemistry spicy than me can sort of... know their worth and not say it out loud.
(Not quite the same, but I can know I had amazing sex last night and not tell anyone at work. It doesn't diminish what I know)
There is, of course, the nuance when other people say it to you. I think (having to translate two cultures via my own, hold my beer) that it means that American "oh wow great job!" in an excited tone might translate to British nonchalant "hmm. Not bad".
(I wish people would be straightforward because autism, but also the American norm is not ok with me either. haha)
What would be your preference if you could have the norms be any way you wanted them?"
Probably closer to American - but toned down a fair bit.
There's an art of banter and not saying what you mean in this specific aspect of British/ Australian culture which is difficult to get right, and I'll always stumble around it. But from what I can see from American culture... imagine hiring a ticker tape parade because you did a big shit - that's about how over the top and embarrassing I imagine that would be, if I did that. |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities.
I couldn't tell you where because I saw it in passing sometime in the last however many years, but I have seen articles out there that deal with specifically this phenomenon. How to deal with different self-evaluation in American and British hiring.
My brain is a junk drawer of useless information (British/ Australian, potential humblebrag) and/ or I remember a lot of things that are sometimes useful (as close as I can stomach to American over enthusiasm)"
This stuff fascinates me.
Even though it’s challenging as hell.
Maybe that’s even why. |
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I'm not waiting for anyone to give me my flowers
I could wait a lifetime for them and not get none.
I will humble brag all day long because I know who and what I am.
I'm not letting anyone full my sparkle or steal my shine |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities.
I couldn't tell you where because I saw it in passing sometime in the last however many years, but I have seen articles out there that deal with specifically this phenomenon. How to deal with different self-evaluation in American and British hiring.
My brain is a junk drawer of useless information (British/ Australian, potential humblebrag) and/ or I remember a lot of things that are sometimes useful (as close as I can stomach to American over enthusiasm)
This stuff fascinates me.
Even though it’s challenging as hell.
Maybe that’s even why."
Me too, and ditto.
I find this very specific bit a little easier in the Australian context (less so in the British, it is different) - but the meaning of words like "mate" or "bastard" is *entirely* in the tone of voice. Everything from "fucking moron" to "lifelong friend" and everything in between (although bastard is probably more likely to be positive and mate is probably neutral to negative, absent any other context) |
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"Australian culture is closer to British but not quite the same.
I live by tall poppy syndrome, at least in how I talk about my own abilities etc. If I praise myself someone will come and knock my fucking head off for being out of place.
And although yes I was raised with Liz as the monarch, but in practice it meant close to fuck all. No aristocrats.
In fact a few years before my birth, the PM said (after a big sporting victory) that if your boss makes you come in the next day, he's a bum. (Yes it was controversial, but it's indicative of the culture. Less deference than I'd say was stereotypical of the UK)
The tall poppy part makes sense.
But doesn’t it default to not recognising when you are actually good at something?
Yeah, it's a risk, and it's something I do suffer with.
People who are less neurodivergent/ otherwise brain chemistry spicy than me can sort of... know their worth and not say it out loud.
(Not quite the same, but I can know I had amazing sex last night and not tell anyone at work. It doesn't diminish what I know)
There is, of course, the nuance when other people say it to you. I think (having to translate two cultures via my own, hold my beer) that it means that American "oh wow great job!" in an excited tone might translate to British nonchalant "hmm. Not bad".
(I wish people would be straightforward because autism, but also the American norm is not ok with me either. haha)
What would be your preference if you could have the norms be any way you wanted them?
Probably closer to American - but toned down a fair bit.
There's an art of banter and not saying what you mean in this specific aspect of British/ Australian culture which is difficult to get right, and I'll always stumble around it. But from what I can see from American culture... imagine hiring a ticker tape parade because you did a big shit - that's about how over the top and embarrassing I imagine that would be, if I did that."
So now I’m laughing at your analogy like a five-year-old |
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"Why should the world know you’re good at something ?
Just be good at something, no need to bang on about it. If it comes up in conversation then yes say “ I’m good at that “ but there’s really no need to say to the bloke next to me “ ah up mate I’m quite good at hunting you know “.
The mr
If I’m looking to hire someone, for example, I would want them to be good at what they do. And have confidence in their own abilities.
I couldn't tell you where because I saw it in passing sometime in the last however many years, but I have seen articles out there that deal with specifically this phenomenon. How to deal with different self-evaluation in American and British hiring.
My brain is a junk drawer of useless information (British/ Australian, potential humblebrag) and/ or I remember a lot of things that are sometimes useful (as close as I can stomach to American over enthusiasm)
This stuff fascinates me.
Even though it’s challenging as hell.
Maybe that’s even why.
Me too, and ditto.
I find this very specific bit a little easier in the Australian context (less so in the British, it is different) - but the meaning of words like "mate" or "bastard" is *entirely* in the tone of voice. Everything from "fucking moron" to "lifelong friend" and everything in between (although bastard is probably more likely to be positive and mate is probably neutral to negative, absent any other context)"
Oh yes! That tracks.
“You call the people you hate Luv and the people you love Cunt.” |
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