FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Gents....I thank you all
Gents....I thank you all
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I usually block all single men as I prefer to chose whom I contact, but having read some comments made in the forums I was curious to find out if the flood gates would open. So yesterday and today I allowed single men to contact me and BINGO....I was up to my neck in emails, winks, friends requests.
I totally appreciate the women's point of _iew...Gents make an effort if you want results, its not that hard to entice us ladies!
I responded to everyone, even the less subtle and the rude ones - admitedly it was a Cut and Paste job but it still took me time to open, read and answer all 250 emails. I should explain that I do not work at the moment so I had the time, unlike most people on the site. Some had a more personal No thank you and some even got the Agony Ant helpful advice Lol.
Not One and I mean not One of you gave me a hard time and 95% of all of you responded with a 'Thank you for letting me know and responding'. I know that others find that annoying but I don't, it shows education and respect - two very important qualities.
I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all those I have been in contact with these past couple of days, I wish you luck. Fab is one of the better dating sites, it is a shame that some people spoil it for those who are worth the effort.
Happy swinging, lots of fun and great encounters xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh you wait until you get your first abuse back.. wont be long, as you say you have only had your profile open fo rone day.. and just that one abusive response will upset you, after all we are all human.
wont be long until you get the repeaters messaging and trying their luck again 
then day in day out you will be dealing with the problems the rest of us face..
only doing this for one day will nto give you any real insight into the problems caused  |
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"oh you wait until you get your first abuse back.. wont be long, as you say you have only had your profile open fo rone day.. and just that one abusive response will upset you, after all we are all human.
wont be long until you get the repeaters messaging and trying their luck again
then day in day out you will be dealing with the problems the rest of us face..
only doing this for one day will nto give you any real insight into the problems caused "
You are probably right but I'll see what happens...I have changed my settings back now...It was a test and I guesses there might be consequences or maybe I was lucky to have quantity and quality for that one day. There is always the BLOCK option  .  |
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"oh you wait until you get your first abuse back.. wont be long, as you say you have only had your profile open fo rone day.. and just that one abusive response will upset you, after all we are all human.
wont be long until you get the repeaters messaging and trying their luck again
then day in day out you will be dealing with the problems the rest of us face..
only doing this for one day will nto give you any real insight into the problems caused
You are probably right but I'll see what happens...I have changed my settings back now...It was a test and I guesses there might be consequences or maybe I was lucky to have quantity and quality for that one day. There is always the BLOCK option . "
Feels strange to respond to my own post but I get confused with the otpions.
Well its been 4 days and only one out of 250 men came back after I'd said no thank you...and the message was quite nice. I can only conclude that responding politely works and I am a happy Bambi x  |
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"I didn't. I wish I had. I would have said "there was a young lady from derby,
More a Bambi than a Barbie
She said 'let them come'
Had 250, then some
And decided she'd rather have a Bicardi""
Merci beaucoup! what a lovely poem...
I was hoping to have you message me - both of you. There is always the next time. Both on Hotlist so I'll be in touch if that's OK. That's a promise Bizoux |
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I reply to everything but the obscene. I have found that the majority are pleased to get a civil reply though there is a small minority who get nasty.
I am a bit more acerbic now than i used to be - still strictly polite, but a bit more weary. So if he's on the isle of wight, 6 inches and 5 stone outside my preferences and wants a car sex meet he will get asked if he bothered with the wordy bit at all. 
In the long run, however, the decent ones don't message me again and the numpties who do are easily blocked. This means, even though i had to put the work in, the my inbox is very manageable - i haven't had a single message today! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you hit the nail on the head...you had 250 replies...explains the ratio of guys to women on here. But you replied to each one..well done you!! Proves to me you are one of the nice women and not one of the many hard ones that use this site...respect for your post and thanks for being you |
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"I think you hit the nail on the head...you had 250 replies...explains the ratio of guys to women on here. But you replied to each one..well done you!! Proves to me you are one of the nice women and not one of the many hard ones that use this site...respect for your post and thanks for being you "
Thank you for your kind words. You've just proven my point, lots of nice single men on Fabs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been here over 3 years and i get alot of mail .. And only one time i had a nasty letter was a local man .... Who felt he was local and i should meet .. Now i cant mail all back as take me hours a day and so on my profile i say i cant and thanks for there mail ........ I find it strange when people say thay get abusive mail here, I have no one on my block list as never needed to use it. I know there's a real mix here on fad and we cant like and get on with everyone , But over my years on sites like this i have found woman to be more nasty bitchy to me not men . |
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"I have been here over 3 years and i get alot of mail .. And only one time i had a nasty letter was a local man .... Who felt he was local and i should meet .. Now i cant mail all back as take me hours a day and so on my profile i say i cant and thanks for there mail ........ I find it strange when people say thay get abusive mail here, I have no one on my block list as never needed to use it. I know there's a real mix here on fad and we cant like and get on with everyone , But over my years on sites like this i have found woman to be more nasty bitchy to me not men . "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you hit the nail on the head...you had 250 replies...explains the ratio of guys to women on here. But you replied to each one..well done you!! Proves to me you are one of the nice women and not one of the many hard ones that use this site...respect for your post and thanks for being you
Thank you for your kind words. You've just proven my point, lots of nice single men on Fabs "
I am just me...xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I usually block all single men as I prefer to chose whom I contact, but having read some comments made in the forums I was curious to find out if the flood gates would open. So yesterday and today I allowed single men to contact me and BINGO....I was up to my neck in emails, winks, friends requests.
I totally appreciate the women's point of _iew...Gents make an effort if you want results, its not that hard to entice us ladies!
I responded to everyone, even the less subtle and the rude ones - admitedly it was a Cut and Paste job but it still took me time to open, read and answer all 250 emails. I should explain that I do not work at the moment so I had the time, unlike most people on the site. Some had a more personal No thank you and some even got the Agony Ant helpful advice Lol.
Not One and I mean not One of you gave me a hard time and 95% of all of you responded with a 'Thank you for letting me know and responding'. I know that others find that annoying but I don't, it shows education and respect - two very important qualities.
I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all those I have been in contact with these past couple of days, I wish you luck. Fab is one of the better dating sites, it is a shame that some people spoil it for those who are worth the effort.
Happy swinging, lots of fun and great encounters xx
"
Great to hear, im new and it does get you down when you tick all there very specific boxes that they ask for, send a polite and thought out message, only to be deleted at a stroke. Well done you though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable... |
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"Fab a dating site?? "
Good call! Mr Wikipedia - yes him again in all his wisdom says: "Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse." Mark the OR.
Have you never come across someone on this site who wanted MORE of you than just a sexual NSA relationship? Fab is not meant to be a dating site I dont think, but there is nothing stopping anyone from searching for their soul mates...I have read a number of posts where two individuals became a real life Couple after meeting on this site xx |
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable... "
Very well said....OMG I still have some of those French porn books and magazines I bought back when I was in my teens - they are falling apart Lol! and VHS too...haha. |
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable... "
I would add yours to the growing number of excellent posts i've seen recently sir. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable...
Very well said....OMG I still have some of those French porn books and magazines I bought back when I was in my teens - they are falling apart Lol! and VHS too...haha."
Why thank you If only you lived nearer..... ain't life a bitch...  lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable...
I would add yours to the growing number of excellent posts i've seen recently sir."
You're too kind..... but keep up the praise! My therapist tells me it does me sooo much good..... |
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable...
I would add yours to the growing number of excellent posts i've seen recently sir."
I'm becoming rather a fan of our Forum Sage too |
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable...
I would add yours to the growing number of excellent posts i've seen recently sir."
I'm becoming rather a fan of our Forum Sage too |
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"I've been here 4 yrs and have never had any nastiness from single guys either "
As the saying goes "he who sows the wind reaps the whirlwind". Great profile, lovely sexy and teasing pics. Glad to hear you've not experienced any nastyness. |
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I don't respond to men outside what I'm looking for, so don't get any nasty comeback. Yes, if I've deleted their messages after looking at their profile some will reply in a negative, but I don't know what the full content is as I don't read it.
I don't mean to be unkind, but the point that is being missed here is the OP doesn't work. Who really would have time to sit and answer 250 no thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP - excellent post. Pity we don't see a few more like it on here.
You have basically proved what I keep saying about Swinging today - a lot of the Respect for one another has been stripped away by the anonymity of the internet.
Waaaay back when I started in this strange little world (when the wheel was yet to be invented) after magazines and clubs (of which there were precious few) the only way to make contact with people tended to be in person at a party - IF you were lucky enough to get invited to one. Because you met people face to face, you had NO OPTION but to treat them with respect on a personal level.
Although the internet makes it much easier to meet like-minded people anywhere, the fact that when someone sends you a message you don't have to respond to it (and we are actually told it is NOT bad manners!) is just as much a lack of respect, as the person who sends you an insulting PM, or doesn't bother to read your profile before doing so.
Go back to the mid-80's, if you behaved face-to-face like that at a house party, you would have been chucked out PDQ, yet such behaviour is regarded as perfectly acceptable via the internet..
One of the 'modern' (Ha!) aspects of Swinging which I find unpalatable...
I would add yours to the growing number of excellent posts i've seen recently sir.
You're too kind..... but keep up the praise! My therapist tells me it does me sooo much good..... "
will have to extend door ways soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally don't like it when a grown man begs even after you have sent a polite message to them saying sorry that you live to far away, then you get "Please please let me come and see you, i will pay for the hotel you are so lovely"
As one would say "Oh please pass the bucket"  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I usually block all single men as I prefer to chose whom I contact, but having read some comments made in the forums I was curious to find out if the flood gates would open. So yesterday and today I allowed single men to contact me and BINGO....I was up to my neck in emails, winks, friends requests.
I totally appreciate the women's point of _iew...Gents make an effort if you want results, its not that hard to entice us ladies!
I responded to everyone, even the less subtle and the rude ones - admitedly it was a Cut and Paste job but it still took me time to open, read and answer all 250 emails. I should explain that I do not work at the moment so I had the time, unlike most people on the site. Some had a more personal No thank you and some even got the Agony Ant helpful advice Lol.
Not One and I mean not One of you gave me a hard time and 95% of all of you responded with a 'Thank you for letting me know and responding'. I know that others find that annoying but I don't, it shows education and respect - two very important qualities.
I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all those I have been in contact with these past couple of days, I wish you luck. Fab is one of the better dating sites, it is a shame that some people spoil it for those who are worth the effort.
Happy swinging, lots of fun and great encounters xx
"
This echoes precisely how I feel about the site and single men. I have not had many problems either and sometimes find it hard to understand why singles get such a hard time in the forums.
I have not done the stats as you have and I am glad you have done this "quantitative analysis". Like you I, too reply politely to all emails at least the first time.
I do not have a long "block list" as I reserve that for rude or obnoxious behaviour rather than for single guys asking for a meet.
Great post!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been here 4 yrs and have never had any nastiness from single guys either
As the saying goes "he who sows the wind reaps the whirlwind". Great profile, lovely sexy and teasing pics. Glad to hear you've not experienced any nastyness. "
Thanks |
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"
I don't mean to be unkind, but the point that is being missed here is the OP doesn't work. Who really would have time to sit and answer 250 no thanks! "
You're not unkind! Everyone has the right to express their _iews. But in truth let's see how much time I actually spent.
1st message
Open Word, select and open document, ctrl A to select All, ctrl C to copy, click on message in Fabs, click Reply to message, ctrl V to paste, click Send = 5 second
All subsequent 245 messages (I kept 4 of interest) = 3 seconds
In total 740 seconds = 12 minutes and 20 seconds approximately.
It takes me longer to make a good cuppa!
I rest my case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually block all single men as I prefer to chose whom I contact, but having read some comments made in the forums I was curious to find out if the flood gates would open. So yesterday and today I allowed single men to contact me and BINGO....I was up to my neck in emails, winks, friends requests.
Cause ur so sexy x
I totally appreciate the women's point of _iew...Gents make an effort if you want results, its not that hard to entice us ladies!
I responded to everyone, even the less subtle and the rude ones - admitedly it was a Cut and Paste job but it still took me time to open, read and answer all 250 emails. I should explain that I do not work at the moment so I had the time, unlike most people on the site. Some had a more personal No thank you and some even got the Agony Ant helpful advice Lol.
Not One and I mean not One of you gave me a hard time and 95% of all of you responded with a 'Thank you for letting me know and responding'. I know that others find that annoying but I don't, it shows education and respect - two very important qualities.
I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all those I have been in contact with these past couple of days, I wish you luck. Fab is one of the better dating sites, it is a shame that some people spoil it for those who are worth the effort.
Happy swinging, lots of fun and great encounters xx
"
|
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"
I don't mean to be unkind, but the point that is being missed here is the OP doesn't work. Who really would have time to sit and answer 250 no thanks!
You're not unkind! Everyone has the right to express their _iews. But in truth let's see how much time I actually spent.
1st message
Open Word, select and open document, ctrl A to select All, ctrl C to copy, click on message in Fabs, click Reply to message, ctrl V to paste, click Send = 5 second
All subsequent 245 messages (I kept 4 of interest) = 3 seconds
In total 740 seconds = 12 minutes and 20 seconds approximately.
It takes me longer to make a good cuppa!
I rest my case. "
You're case is only applicable to you.
I read the profile before the message. Admittedly, they're seldom magna opera, but seeing if there's any compatibility, perving pictures then reading the message... takes more than a couple of minutes. Something only those with excess time on their hands, the lonely or those not seeking play meets etc indulge in. |
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