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Best ever put downs!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A gorgeous ex girlfriend used to work in Public Relations and she attended an industry-wide conference a couple of years back and was in a lounge, during a break, chatting to a guy that she didn't know over coffee, and she asked him what sort of PR work he preferred. He replied 'Penis Relief!' My ex was always as sharp as a razor and replied 'So you're self-employed then ?' Cracking riposte!!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple  over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I only ever think of these things too late. L'esprit d'escalier.

J

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan  over a year ago

St Leonards

A very good and loved friend of mine was recently delivering a eulogy at another mutual best friend's funeral.

Part of the eulogy was talking about teenage chemical experimentation, the music, the books, the culture....then he lost his thread and said "Now where was I?"

I said, without skipping a beat and for all assembled mourners to hear; "In the middle of an acid trip S".

It lifted the tension, and put him back on track with a smile...does that count as a riposte??? .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I once overheard someone call me a fat cunt while I was training at the gym.

His mistake was saying it too loud…….

My response?

“Yes, I’m a fat cunt. But I’m doing a load of training so that one day I won’t be a fat cunt. You however, are just a cunt……..and zero amount of training, or hard work will change that fact. You’ll just stay, a cunt!”

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