Silver gets you standard access and a flick in the plums on your birthday.
Gold gets you one totty delivered to your doorstep every quarter. On ‘down months’ you get the fab magazine with a free CD. Last month it was Graham Norton sings Barry White’s hits.
Platinum gets you one totty per month, guaranteed access to the secret socials and a get out of jail card for the lounge.
Unobtanium gets you all the above plus free back stage passes to Fabstock, £75 of fab merchandise and one gentle tweak of Percy, the promotional penis. |
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