FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Your attention please...
Your attention please...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
When it comes to attention on Fab - what kind of attention do you like?
Is attention seeking a bad thing?
What type of attention seeking do you not understand/eyeroll or heck, dislike? |
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The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc.
And the woe is me, neggy types, seeking sympathy shags etc (applies to both sexes)
But you know... Each to their own , if it works for them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone on here is seeking attention in some shape or form. Without seeking attention, it's not possible to attract people for the sex so on that aspect I get it.
Desperate attention is different though. I don't get the people who flirt with others they know full well will never have sex with. Or the people who clearly pretend to suffer with low self esteem to get showered with compliments. Or those who start multiple threads shortly before they go UNLOS just to make sure people notice they've gone.
People are a mindfield but ultimately seeking attention should be something that's fun with a means to an end. If it's for self validation, it's never going to end well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always thought I understood people, but thanks to fab, I’ve been shown I don’t. 
Being in my friends list with the sole intention of building your fan base for fans to reach page one because you post pics every day/hour . …. Prove me wrong that isn’t a thing.
That’s just one I won’t play along with.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!  "
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I like attention. I like to be seen. As for the kind of attention... that depends on my mood and who the attention is from. Sometimes objectification can be a delight. Others, eye roll inducing.
I don't think attention seeking is a bad thing, as long as the seeker owns that and also understands why they're doing it.
As far as others attention seeking, I don't dislike any of it... that would be hypocritical of me. However, anything where I feel the seeker is being disingenuous, or appearing (to me) to be acting in a superior fashion, or demeaning to others, I'm not a fan. Bullying type attention seeking makes me cranky.
At the core, anyone using fab, especially those who post on the forum, are seeking attention, even those who say they aren't. Everyone wants their comments to be seen, or their pictures/profile to be looked at, or both. Even those who aren't looking to interact privately with others are looking for the attention of others. It's what builds our community, and isn't a bad thing.
I really don't understand people who believe the "fab and I'll give you a blowie" type things though... although I get why the seekers do that. Makes them feel good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t care what attention I get tbh. Although sometimes people can be negative towards me on my threads or in reply to comments and I eye roll at that. And also eye roll when people just comment on threads (not just mine but anyone’s) with the sole intention of being a prick to the OP and making silly digs.
But other than that I don’t care. The only attention I’d like is more in the inbox that find me attractive. |
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc.
And the woe is me, neggy types, seeking sympathy shags etc (applies to both sexes)
But you know... Each to their own , if it works for them..."
The "woe is me" really fucking grates. Especially from people inside a huge city like London or Birmingham with multiple clubs on the corner. Silhouette people that bemoan why woman aren't just begging for a fuck from someone with a bio less than 10 words, then use the forums to leave War & Peace why it's so unfair.
#rantover |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to attention on Fab - what kind of attention do you like?
"
The good stuff with compliments
"
Is attention seeking a bad thing? "
No. I've noticed ploys by men wearing hi-viz just to catch your eye
"
What type of attention seeking do you not understand/eyeroll or heck, dislike?"
Eeee how very dare you madam!.. eye rolls + other shit = consecending insulting reply.. perhaps straight talk.. blunt and to the point.
e.g. "leave me alone" "go away "
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We all seek attention in some form on here and what works for some wouldn’t work for others and I’m sure each person will have a different eye roll situation.
But the people who start a thread saying they need picture ideas but never go with a suggestion as they just wanted to do a ‘look at me and praise me’ post annoy me.
Or the ones who give half information when asking what they should do - they frustrate me - attention seeking at its best! You aren’t going to do anything someone said, you just want one person to validate your thought process 
Anyway I’ll stop….
Hang on News ones are very annoying - just post to annoy people!
…I’m going
K |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc.
And the woe is me, neggy types, seeking sympathy shags etc (applies to both sexes)
But you know... Each to their own , if it works for them..."
 I really like how you ended it with each to their own.
It's not a gendered thing is it? I don't think I've seen a man do a Fab it and I'll fuck you photo but I'm sure one has existed.
We all do it in various ways, that wasn't really up for discussion. I was more curious about how on a personal level you (a general you) seeks attention. |
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I really dislike the people who attempt to get attention via effectively trolling... the woe is me, I can't get a meet, I can't get a message back, asking constant advice and blame younger/fitter/different skin colours/different genital shape and size etc for their lack of success while also doing literally nothing to help themselves or taking on any advice given.
I put it down to a victim complex. They don't actually want a meet, they want to complain about not getting one.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Desperate attention is different though. I don't get the people who flirt with others they know full well will never have sex with. Or the people who clearly pretend to suffer with low self esteem to get showered with compliments. Or those who start multiple threads shortly before they go UNLOS just to make sure people notice they've gone.
People are a mindfield but ultimately seeking attention should be something that's fun with a means to an end. If it's for self validation, it's never going to end well."
No, I don't quite understand that style of flirting either. I think that flirting is a rather personal thing though and when styles vary so much across the forums you're going to find people who don't *get* your way of doing things.
Fun with a means to an end is a fantastic soundbite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attention is good…. I mean if it’s friendly absolute bonus…. If it’s terrible / horrible / nasty then I can either laugh along with it and chuckle in the knowing that it’s annoying them that it’s not bothering me. Or I could just block and report … but I’ve been very lucky so far to not get that kind of treatment so thank you fabbers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Desperate attention is different though. I don't get the people who flirt with others they know full well will never have sex with. Or the people who clearly pretend to suffer with low self esteem to get showered with compliments. Or those who start multiple threads shortly before they go UNLOS just to make sure people notice they've gone.
People are a mindfield but ultimately seeking attention should be something that's fun with a means to an end. If it's for self validation, it's never going to end well.
No, I don't quite understand that style of flirting either. I think that flirting is a rather personal thing though and when styles vary so much across the forums you're going to find people who don't *get* your way of doing things.
Fun with a means to an end is a fantastic soundbite. "
Flirting is fine, and fun. I’ve asked before how many times have you felt somebody has been in your inbox and either you had no intention or they had no intention of actually ever meeting up.
My flirting ranges from lighthearted innuendos, flirty banter, and I think you are a gorgeous sexy creature, and I want to fuck you given the quickest and soonest opportunity.
I try to make it very clear which attention I would like off them  |
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"Everyone on here is seeking attention in some shape or form. Without seeking attention, it's not possible to attract people for the sex so on that aspect I get it.
Desperate attention is different though. I don't get the people who flirt with others they know full well will never have sex with. Or the people who clearly pretend to suffer with low self esteem to get showered with compliments. Or those who start multiple threads shortly before they go UNLOS just to make sure people notice they've gone.
People are a mindfield but ultimately seeking attention should be something that's fun with a means to an end. If it's for self validation, it's never going to end well."
Some people genuinely do have low self esteem  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
Some people genuinely do have low self esteem "
And some people will never believe that of people who manage to put a good mask on.
Seeking validation isn't a bad thing. As long as you know that's what you're doing and it isn't the only way you feel good. |
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"
Some people genuinely do have low self esteem
And some people will never believe that of people who manage to put a good mask on.
Seeking validation isn't a bad thing. As long as you know that's what you're doing and it isn't the only way you feel good."
Exactly x |
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"I really dislike the people who attempt to get attention via effectively trolling... the woe is me, I can't get a meet, I can't get a message back, asking constant advice and blame younger/fitter/different skin colours/different genital shape and size etc for their lack of success while also doing literally nothing to help themselves or taking on any advice given.
I put it down to a victim complex. They don't actually want a meet, they want to complain about not getting one.
"
It's just not attractive is it? |
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc.
And the woe is me, neggy types, seeking sympathy shags etc (applies to both sexes)
But you know... Each to their own , if it works for them...
I really like how you ended it with each to their own.
It's not a gendered thing is it? I don't think I've seen a man do a Fab it and I'll fuck you photo but I'm sure one has existed.
We all do it in various ways, that wasn't really up for discussion. I was more curious about how on a personal level you (a general you) seeks attention."
I've seen a number of men in my updates posting that they're lonely/on their own again blah blah blah... Just puts me off if anything |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I always thought I understood people, but thanks to fab, I’ve been shown I don’t.
Being in my friends list with the sole intention of building your fan base for fans to reach page one because you post pics every day/hour . …. Prove me wrong that isn’t a thing.
That’s just one I won’t play along with.
"
And that's absolutely fine. You don't have to indulge other people, you don't have to play along with it. I think some people really really like page one which is fair enough... you can opt out of subscribing to their attempts to get there though. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm not looking for attention when I use Fab, I'm just looking for some back and forth craic with others to entertain myself. I don't really like too much attention, it makes me nervous "
Even wanting some back and forth craic is you seeking attention of some sort... they can't give you that without paying you attention. :D Anyway, I'm delighted because you're one of the few who answered how you seek it. Kind of. :D
Ah, too much attention can be quite nerve inducing can't it? |
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"When it comes to attention on Fab - what kind of attention do you like?
Is attention seeking a bad thing?
What type of attention seeking do you not understand/eyeroll or heck, dislike?"
LaM.
Pleeeeeeese. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Selective attention for me darling OP.
And I’m not one for not liking what others do. Although the Fab me for a fuck thing makes me laugh hard every single day "
Selective attention is brilliant. I'm probably going to be using that in the year to come! Yes, that's what I like - attention from those who I genuinely fancy/like. That's what makes me smile. |
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"Selective attention for me darling OP.
And I’m not one for not liking what others do. Although the Fab me for a fuck thing makes me laugh hard every single day
Selective attention is brilliant. I'm probably going to be using that in the year to come! Yes, that's what I like - attention from those who I genuinely fancy/like. That's what makes me smile."
It’s perfect… you enjoy darling |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"
I like attention. I like to be seen. As for the kind of attention... that depends on my mood and who the attention is from. Sometimes objectification can be a delight. Others, eye roll inducing.
I don't think attention seeking is a bad thing, as long as the seeker owns that and also understands why they're doing it.
As far as others attention seeking, I don't dislike any of it... that would be hypocritical of me. However, anything where I feel the seeker is being disingenuous, or appearing (to me) to be acting in a superior fashion, or demeaning to others, I'm not a fan. Bullying type attention seeking makes me cranky.
"
In part that's down to how you perceive the person, yes? The motivation you ascribe to another's actions or words. Take posting on here... you could think "Gosh, I really love the eloquence of Person A" and yet Person B could make you think "they're really not as smart as they think they are". I think a lot of how we feel about attention seeking is either down to not understanding it, our own perception surrounding the person who does it or our relationship with another.
"...I really don't understand people who believe the "fab and I'll give you a blowie" type things though... although I get why the seekers do that. Makes them feel good."
I don't quite understand how it can make someone feel good but that's because we're all rather different. The attention I like has to be personal to a certain extent, deliberately directed at me and not because they think I'll deepthroat them. Not always at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting.
Bit like the meat counter in Morrisons..."
And then you get called and all they’ve got left is the less than fresh stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At times I crave attention. And then I get it and  hide. I've always been nervous of male attention IRL. I find on sites like this that my need for attention spikes (post a photo) and then shrinks (hide profile etc). And I've got the sense it's complicated for some other people.
Generally I ignore the attention seeking antics of others here. But if I venture into local updates, I do a lot of  at the statuses! |
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"The threads that some people keep making to get back at other people. 'Disguised' as something else. "
Yesssss.
The ones who refer to people (without naming) they’ve shagged and proceed to slag them off. It’s boring and shouldn’t be allowed. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I don’t care what attention I get tbh. Although sometimes people can be negative towards me on my threads or in reply to comments and I eye roll at that. And also eye roll when people just comment on threads (not just mine but anyone’s) with the sole intention of being a prick to the OP and making silly digs.
But other than that I don’t care. The only attention I’d like is more in the inbox that find me attractive. "
Ah I hadn't even thought about negative attention! Yes, not all attention is positive but that's a risk you take when you put yourself out there.
I hope your dick is drowning in quim this year Pickle.  |
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"When it comes to attention on Fab - what kind of attention do you like?
Is attention seeking a bad thing?
What type of attention seeking do you not understand/eyeroll or heck, dislike?"
I don't tend to come here for attention BUT sometimes ( and ONLY sometimes ) there are some interesting for funny replies and I re reply at times...... so that's sort of attention innit ... I guess... so it would seem but I don't seek it ...... it's not my raisins detour...
Attention seeking is not a bad think - intent and method dependent.
I don't roll my eyes EVER- really truly ..... it's a pathetic passive aggressive facial response....
I don't really dislike any attention seeking BUT if it's done on the backs of others - it's out of order.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting. |
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting. "
When is your Birthday ? My little clock is going to tick over in the next day or two ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting.
When is your Birthday ? My little clock is going to tick over in the next day or two ..... "
Ooohhhhh 
Mine is in just over a years time. |
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting.
When is your Birthday ? My little clock is going to tick over in the next day or two .....
Ooohhhhh
Mine is in just over a years time. "
When was it then ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting.
When is your Birthday ? My little clock is going to tick over in the next day or two .....
Ooohhhhh
Mine is in just over a years time.
When was it then ? "
OVER a years time. and Im not telling you here, I can then complain about it when I don’t get one I’m that type of guy |
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting. "
No one did one for me either... Got to wait nearly a whole year again now |
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Um. I've drawn attention since I hit puberty. I didn't like it at all for a long time. Eventually I decided I'd at least give myself the illusion of choice by deliberately heightening the things that drew people's eyes.
I like a positive audience these days. I'm not sure I've ever managed to fully shuck the discomfort it causes, but I've learned to appreciate it in a way at least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never think birthday threads are attention seeking. ….
In fact, I think they’re really nice idea. … and quite flattering.
…..But I’ve never had one…. I keep my fingers crossed….. and I keep hinting.
No one did one for me either... Got to wait nearly a whole year again now"
I’ll do you if you do me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm somewhat mixed on this honestly.
When it comes to the internet, I like playing a villain and negativity fuels me.
In real life though I love positive attention and being told I'm cute and stuff.
Attention seeking aint a bad thing in my eyes, being complimented is always nice! |
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I’ve had an Afghan Whigs earworm since seeing this thread this morning. I the Afghan Whigs, so thanks Meli.
.
“Your attention, please,
Now turn off the light.
Your infection, please,
I haven't got all night.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like you’re just getting started xx
"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc.
And the woe is me, neggy types, seeking sympathy shags etc (applies to both sexes)
But you know... Each to their own , if it works for them...
The "woe is me" really fucking grates. Especially from people inside a huge city like London or Birmingham with multiple clubs on the corner. Silhouette people that bemoan why woman aren't just begging for a fuck from someone with a bio less than 10 words, then use the forums to leave War & Peace why it's so unfair.
#rantover "
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Every interaction on Fab is attending seeking. Some folk are straight up "look at me types", others like to play the panto villan, whilst others bend over backwards to appear nice when they're obviously cunts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything we do on Fab is for someone to look at, pics, bios, posts, threads, a message, all of it.
So we are all attention seekers trying to get noticed by those we wish to meet, whoever they end up being.
Some people mistake stuff I do for attention because they don't get my humour, and others don't realise that I do some things just because it pisses the complainers off. Yes I'm childish, but being slut shamed on here is pretty crap. And I also refuse to let someone take me out as the perceived competition by shaming what I do and making me feel I shouldn't post that comment or pic or thread etc. It's worse when women shame but are then gathering attention themselves in their own way and posting pics that are no different to what they shame other women for.
That reminds me, I haven't done a anyone fancy a fuck thread this year.
That's a classic. People take that as meaning me, when I'm not asking for a fuck I'm asking if people fancy a fuck ....but not with me specifically.
I must remember to be careful with word mischievous though in light of a recent misinterpretation. |
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By *oxy RedWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting. "
This is awkward....my ticket is 1,455....you can jump the queue in with me if you want?  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Um. I've drawn attention since I hit puberty. I didn't like it at all for a long time. Eventually I decided I'd at least give myself the illusion of choice by deliberately heightening the things that drew people's eyes.
I like a positive audience these days. I'm not sure I've ever managed to fully shuck the discomfort it causes, but I've learned to appreciate it in a way at least "
It was more specific towards Fab rather than a general thing. I wanted to find out how people seek it, if they're aware they are etc. I know I do it with certain threads, when I upload particular photos. What makes people tick, the attention they like and the ones they don't. Whether directed at them or being sought by others.
I think we all like positive attention, we're human aren't we? We're also nuanced and what we'll accept from others can be seen negatively when done by someone we don't particularly care for. It's waffle really based on an earlier conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting.
This is awkward....my ticket is 1,455....you can jump the queue in with me if you want? "
I’m already stood behind you?… that’s convenient |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"
I like attention. I like to be seen. As for the kind of attention... that depends on my mood and who the attention is from. Sometimes objectification can be a delight. Others, eye roll inducing.
I don't think attention seeking is a bad thing, as long as the seeker owns that and also understands why they're doing it.
As far as others attention seeking, I don't dislike any of it... that would be hypocritical of me. However, anything where I feel the seeker is being disingenuous, or appearing (to me) to be acting in a superior fashion, or demeaning to others, I'm not a fan. Bullying type attention seeking makes me cranky.
In part that's down to how you perceive the person, yes? The motivation you ascribe to another's actions or words. Take posting on here... you could think "Gosh, I really love the eloquence of Person A" and yet Person B could make you think "they're really not as smart as they think they are". I think a lot of how we feel about attention seeking is either down to not understanding it, our own perception surrounding the person who does it or our relationship with another.
"
Absolutely. We all view everything through our own lens. Sometimes that lens can be manipulated by another's views as well, but it's still our own and mainly created by our own bias and experience.
"
...I really don't understand people who believe the "fab and I'll give you a blowie" type things though... although I get why the seekers do that. Makes them feel good.
I don't quite understand how it can make someone feel good but that's because we're all rather different. The attention I like has to be personal to a certain extent, deliberately directed at me and not because they think I'll deepthroat them. Not always at least. "
I understand how it makes them feel good. It wouldn't make me feel good, but I comprehend the logic behind it.
The attention I like is generally, like you, directed specifically at me. And personal. Preferably from someone I like. But it doesn't always have to be. Sometimes I court attentuon in a very general way because I'm actually craving interaction and positivity. Or crudeness, innuendo and general pervertery. On occasion it can be fun, although it can also wear thin quite quickly. |
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I like a certain degree of attention.
I don't post pics for fabs which is lucky as I rarely hit double figures but I enjoy knowing that people are looking at them.
Just like my forum comments.
I don't post to be controversial or blow smoke up people's arses but I like to be acknowledged.
Many of my comments go against the grain simply because they are my opinions or experiences and are often different from those who go through fab just echoing what others say and don't have an opinion of their own.
Most of the compliments I receive either publicly or privately refer to the fact that I'm happy telling the Emperor he is naked while others are admiring his new clothes so that type of attention is welcome.
I roll my eyes at those who would happily sell their granny for attention and care nothing for the consequences of their actions or who they hurt in the process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting. "
Ok I'll try this. I like experiments. I'll tick all the boxes and put a 'Fab for a fuck' status up and see what happens.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The "fab if you'd fuck this/for a friend request" etc..
This!!
Fab for a fuck…. I know I’m one of 1,456 , but I’ve got my number down and I’m waiting.
Ok I'll try this. I like experiments. I'll tick all the boxes and put a 'Fab for a fuck' status up and see what happens.
"
2 messages and 5 winks already.
2 minutes. |
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I like guys who play it cool. Are quietly confident and not OTT. But most importantly, are sincere.
