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Relationship dynamics question
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to? |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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1st night/date is acceptable and after traveling from my home country to meet him that happened
Maybe it’s slightly different due to circumstances with time  |
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?"
To be fair as long as it takes not one for rushing anyway rather take time so both enjoy it  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Most people have fucked someone on the first date
I don’t expect to have to wait for something you’ve given to some guy at the club so quickly
1-2 dates. Max |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Nowadays probably second or third date. Previously it would have been first date. The only thing that's changed is that now I'm older things don't seem as urgent."
So, if they wanted to wait longer? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
To be fair as long as it takes not one for rushing anyway rather take time so both enjoy it "
But surely you would get fed up at some point if the other person wasn't wanting to? |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling it then go for it when you want to
But as a guy if we haven’t done it by 3/4 meet up then I’d personally move on as I’d assume the person is not interested in me or they are just looking for attention and validation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling it then go for it when you want to
But as a guy if we haven’t done it by 3/4 meet up then I’d personally move on as I’d assume the person is not interested in me or they are just looking for attention and validation "
Might that be down to your age though? |
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"Nowadays probably second or third date. Previously it would have been first date. The only thing that's changed is that now I'm older things don't seem as urgent.
So, if they wanted to wait longer?"
I'd wonder why. If they just want companionship from me that's fine, I'm happy to make platonic friends but if I'm entering a romantic relationship (doesn't matter how long or short) I think physical expression of that is natural and I don't believe in the 'saving yourself ' or 'make them wait' approach. What would we be saving or waiting for? |
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"If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling it then go for it when you want to
But as a guy if we haven’t done it by 3/4 meet up then I’d personally move on as I’d assume the person is not interested in me or they are just looking for attention and validation "
What do you mean by attention and validation? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Nowadays probably second or third date. Previously it would have been first date. The only thing that's changed is that now I'm older things don't seem as urgent.
So, if they wanted to wait longer?
I'd wonder why. If they just want companionship from me that's fine, I'm happy to make platonic friends but if I'm entering a romantic relationship (doesn't matter how long or short) I think physical expression of that is natural and I don't believe in the 'saving yourself ' or 'make them wait' approach. What would we be saving or waiting for? "
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling it then go for it when you want to
But as a guy if we haven’t done it by 3/4 meet up then I’d personally move on as I’d assume the person is not interested in me or they are just looking for attention and validation
Might that be down to your age though?"
I think most guys think kinda similar I mean after 3/4 meet ups you should know if you wanna sleep with the person or not no point in wasting time and energy on someone who’s not interested when you can find someone else who is that’s my take |
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"Nowadays probably second or third date. Previously it would have been first date. The only thing that's changed is that now I'm older things don't seem as urgent.
So, if they wanted to wait longer?
I'd wonder why. If they just want companionship from me that's fine, I'm happy to make platonic friends but if I'm entering a romantic relationship (doesn't matter how long or short) I think physical expression of that is natural and I don't believe in the 'saving yourself ' or 'make them wait' approach. What would we be saving or waiting for? "
For me, I'd be waiting to see that he's interested in me and not just the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"If the chemistry is there and you are both feeling it then go for it when you want to
But as a guy if we haven’t done it by 3/4 meet up then I’d personally move on as I’d assume the person is not interested in me or they are just looking for attention and validation
What do you mean by attention and validation?"
The woman just wants the attention off you to boost her ego or even just make her feel good lots of women are like that nowadays especially around my age range they will meany up with a guy they aren’t really into or just string them along purposefully just for validation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Nowadays probably second or third date. Previously it would have been first date. The only thing that's changed is that now I'm older things don't seem as urgent.
So, if they wanted to wait longer?
I'd wonder why. If they just want companionship from me that's fine, I'm happy to make platonic friends but if I'm entering a romantic relationship (doesn't matter how long or short) I think physical expression of that is natural and I don't believe in the 'saving yourself ' or 'make them wait' approach. What would we be saving or waiting for?
For me, I'd be waiting to see that he's interested in me and not just the sex. "
^This
It seems few people are willing to take that time and wait.
If no sex is on the cards a couple of dates in, they move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"I wouldn’t have a specific time frame. I’d just do it when I wanted to. When I want to would depend on lots of other contributing factors.
This "
Totally. |
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?"
I've said for years I wouldn't get into a relationship.... yet the amazing one I now find myself in.. we had been meeting as 'friends 'since June... took us till November to actually do more than a hug goodbye. We had actually become a couple before we slept together.... and yet both been swingers for quite sometime.
We even went on several dates with nothing but holding hands and touching none intimate body parts and kissing for a while after we got together.... all very prim and proper considering I'm a slut and he loves that about me lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
I've said for years I wouldn't get into a relationship.... yet the amazing one I now find myself in.. we had been meeting as 'friends 'since June... took us till November to actually do more than a hug goodbye. We had actually become a couple before we slept together.... and yet both been swingers for quite sometime.
We even went on several dates with nothing but holding hands and touching none intimate body parts and kissing for a while after we got together.... all very prim and proper considering I'm a slut and he loves that about me lol xx"
Lovely to hear you have found that Cali, you have had your fair share of less than ideal bfs in the past  |
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"So, you have been to you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
I've said for years I wouldn't get into a relationship.... yet the amazing one I now find myself in.. we had been meeting as 'friends 'since June... took us till November to actually do more than a hug goodbye. We had actually become a couple before we slept together.... and yet both been swingers for quite sometime.
We even went on several dates with nothing but holding hands and touching none intimate body parts and kissing for a while after we got together.... all very prim and proper considering I'm a slut and he loves that about me lol xx
Lovely to hear you have found that Cali, you have had your fair share of less than ideal bfs in the past "
let's face it prior to this.. my choice of partners has been somewhat shocking. I am not allowed to pick my own... thankfully my friends pre approved my partner.... and he is epic... very happy.. although most of my guys on here have only been fwb rather than partners. Had the odd good fwb mostly still friends with them  |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I’d already be in bed with him!
So, you wouldn't care that he didn't want that?  "
That’s not what you asked? 
“””…. how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?””
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So, you have been to you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
I've said for years I wouldn't get into a relationship.... yet the amazing one I now find myself in.. we had been meeting as 'friends 'since June... took us till November to actually do more than a hug goodbye. We had actually become a couple before we slept together.... and yet both been swingers for quite sometime.
We even went on several dates with nothing but holding hands and touching none intimate body parts and kissing for a while after we got together.... all very prim and proper considering I'm a slut and he loves that about me lol xx
Lovely to hear you have found that Cali, you have had your fair share of less than ideal bfs in the past let's face it prior to this.. my choice of partners has been somewhat shocking. I am not allowed to pick my own... thankfully my friends pre approved my partner.... and he is epic... very happy.. although most of my guys on here have only been fwb rather than partners. Had the odd good fwb mostly still friends with them "
Friends choosing sounds like a good plan  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"I’d already be in bed with him!
So, you wouldn't care that he didn't want that?
That’s not what you asked?
“””…. how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?””
"
Wanted you to wait is what I meant. Apologies for my bad grammar. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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If I made a man wait deliberately I'd feel like I was withholding sex which is something abusers do to manipulate people. I'd not go there. I'm not saying that anyone waiting would be doing this, I'd just be very conscious of the fact that making myself and him wait could be more damaging and be seen in a bad light.
But I wouldn't fuck someone just to avoid looking that way either.
But if you're holding out for a long time I think there's something wrong somewhere and it's time to walk away.
Why put a time on it? Surely things happen naturally and you shouldn't even be thinking about when specifically. |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I’d already be in bed with him!
So, you wouldn't care that he didn't want that?
That’s not what you asked?
“””…. how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?””
Wanted you to wait is what I meant. Apologies for my bad grammar."
Ahhh. Got you. Sorry I miss understood. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"If I made a man wait deliberately I'd feel like I was withholding sex which is something abusers do to manipulate people. I'd not go there. I'm not saying that anyone waiting would be doing this, I'd just be very conscious of the fact that making myself and him wait could be more damaging and be seen in a bad light.
But I wouldn't fuck someone just to avoid looking that way either.
But if you're holding out for a long time I think there's something wrong somewhere and it's time to walk away.
Why put a time on it? Surely things happen naturally and you shouldn't even be thinking about when specifically."
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Oh I misread that too.
If someone wanted me to wait .....I'd be questioning why and getting them to have an open and honest conversation with me about it and navigate it from there.
Or wait a week and ask if their period is finished yet |
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
To be fair as long as it takes not one for rushing anyway rather take time so both enjoy it
But surely you would get fed up at some point if the other person wasn't wanting to?"
I would but different things in play as well met a lady off fab before Xmas and she messaged me yesterday for another meet unfortunately have stinking cold which I have had since Xmas eve can’t shake it told the woman what’s wrong with me and heard nothing back yet  |
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Would depend on why they wanted to wait? If it's to figure out if they fancy me, then I'd not stick around. If it's because they have some sexual hang up, then I'd want to chat about it first... If it's because they were waiting on their wife going back to work after the Christmas hols. I'd pass on that |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
To be fair as long as it takes not one for rushing anyway rather take time so both enjoy it
But surely you would get fed up at some point if the other person wasn't wanting to?"
There’s NRE and if this person is only into drinks, meals, theatre, etc., when I’m into more I would have a chat about what they’re after. If you don’t fancy me the way I fancy the pants off you, I’m not in.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"Would depend on why they wanted to wait? If it's to figure out if they fancy me, then I'd not stick around. If it's because they have some sexual hang up, then I'd want to chat about it first... If it's because they were waiting on their wife going back to work after the Christmas hols. I'd pass on that "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?
To be fair as long as it takes not one for rushing anyway rather take time so both enjoy it
But surely you would get fed up at some point if the other person wasn't wanting to?
There’s NRE and if this person is only into drinks, meals, theatre, etc., when I’m into more I would have a chat about what they’re after. If you don’t fancy me the way I fancy the pants off you, I’m not in.
"
What is NRE? |
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I misread it too.
I don't know how long I'd wait, to be honest.
I'm so used to men wanting to have sex ASAP I'd probably be scratching my head a la Brad Pitt at the end of Meet Joe Black, wondering what's going on. |
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"So, you have been looking and you have met someone who could possibly be who and what you are looking for relationship wise.
If you were to see each other maybe twice a week for drinks, meals, theatre etc, how long would you be prepared to wait to do the deed if the other person wanted you to?"
Just after the first date.
What do I look like? A monk? |
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It depends how long they want to wait and why, and how open they are about it? I wouldn’t question if they wanted to wait a few dates before having sex, but anything beyond that and I’d want to know what the hold up was… |
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By *ornycougaWoman 48 weeks ago
NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat |
I have no desire to see the same person twice a week. How long would I wait? Not long. I need a person to have that primal lust for me so if they would prefer to go to the theatre than fuck me senseless they are not for me |
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